He sighed, “I really wish I could help console you right now. There is nothing more I want than to take you back to our room and protect you, but I can’t. I have to get back to fighting. If you want to sit next to me you can. No one will think any less of you.” He kissed the top of my head and let go of me.
"No, I need to help in any way I can. If I sit here, I’ll just keep crying and that won't help the settlement at all." I wiped my tears and sucked in a deep breath. "I can cry later."
I walked away from him and faced out to the battle below us and got right back to shooting the enemy. I no longer pictured Zelan’s head. Now, all I saw were the disgusting bugs and my need for them to be dead. I was going to avenge that warrior’s death.
Chapter 10
We fought nonstop until Commander Venay came over to tell us we got the last bug. I wiped the sweat from my brow and noted at least an hour had passed since that brave warrior died. There were so many cockroach bodies out there. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d been hitting dead bodies for the past ten minutes. I hadn’t noticed any movement for a while, but I was not taking any chances after what happened to the warrior who was next to me. “Commander, there were so many of them. Is that normal?” I just couldn’t understand how they reproduced so quickly.
“Sadly, yes, it is. My guess is that all of the surviving insectoids from the crashed ship impregnated every human they found. Some humans probably had multiple egg sacks put inside of them. The young grow rather quickly.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“I doubt the humans got very far and were captured within hours of their escape. This is why it is so important for us to keep everyone together inside of the ship. No one wants to see this happen again.” He paused as he looked out to the battlefield and shook his head.
“Not just because they attacked our settlement, but because of what happens to the host body. We will need to send out parties to find the bodies and ensure that they are all incinerated. It is doubtful that we will find any more viable egg sacks inside the bodies, but you can never be too sure.” He looked past us towards Navoy’s body that was still burning.
The Commander sighed and looked over the wall. “Zelan, please take your mate back to your room.” He looked back at Paris, “Paris, will you please listen to me and go with your friends? We have clean-up to do. This is not going to be pleasant. All the bodies must be burned. There is no way to tell if there are any viable egg sacks inside of those we killed. While rare, I have heard that even if you kill the body, their eggs can still hatch inside of them. We don’t need any more Zateelian population explosions.” He motioned for her to join him.
Paris walked up to the Commander and wrapped her arms around him. “Yes, I’ll go back to the room and wait for you. Unless Natalie needs me, then I’ll be in her room.” She reached up and gave him a quick kiss. “I love you Venay. Please don’t take too long.”
He caressed her cheek with his giant hand and leaned into her. “I love you Paris with everything I am. If I could, I would go back with you. But they need help. Navoy isn’t the only one we lost today. This is really bad. I think we will need to stay here for a few days to help them get back on their feet. They lost at least fifty warriors today.”
I couldn't listen anymore. I turned into Zelan and started to cry.
"Shh, I am here for you, Natalie. Let’s go back to our room.” Zelan rubbed my back and I only grabbed him tighter before he released me.
We started to walk slowly to the stairs. Once we got to the bottom, we waited until Paris showed up. Zelan held my hand and I let him the entire way back to our room.
“I’m sorry I brought you out here, Natalie. I never should have done that. Truly, I thought it might be 100 of them, and we could quickly kill them. It should have been an easy way for you to practice shooting and get comfortable with a phaser gun. Had I known what we were up against, I probably would have stayed back with you instead of coming out here.” Paris shook her head and sighed.
Speaking was not something I could do just then. I kept crying and leaned into Zelan as he walked us back to our rooms. Paris asked if I wanted her to join us, but I was not in the mood for company.
We made our way into the room, and Zelan sat me on the bed but never let go of me. I couldn’t understand why I was so upset. I didn’t even know the guy’s name until after he was gone.
I felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me. Watching someone die in a truly vile way made me think about what was really important to me. What I thought I knew about my life was all wrong. Ben had been an absolute jerk to me. Why was I even thinking about Ben anymore? Zelan wasn’t perfect, but he did have my best interests at heart. Unlike Ben.
I didn’t want to be that girl. You know, the one who escapes into her past to avoid her present. This new me was a much stronger girl than the one I left behind on Earth. Dealing with the attack and all the death is exactly what I needed to do.
Why couldn’t I get Navoy’s death and burning out of my head? “Zelan, why did you burn that warrior without so much as a word?” I pushed away from him and sat up straight, and then I wiped the tears from my face. Ugh, I must have looked awful. Not that I wanted to look good for Zelan, but I could tell I had snot nose going on and my eyes must have been all swollen from the crying.
"Because that is what I would want. He was already suffering. Having that tube down his throat and knowing what was to come. That is too difficult. He was a warrior. Showing him compassion was exactly what I did. It was exactly what I would want anyone else to do for me. If it had been me, there was nothing anyone could have said or done to ease my pain." He took ahold of my hand and gently said, "Put yourself in his shoes. What would you have wanted at that moment in time?”
I sat there for a minute thinking about it. My forehead scrunched up as I considered Zelan’s words. “You’re right, nothing would have mattered. If my mom was there, I would have liked to have heard her tell me she loved me one last time. But nothing else would be appropriate. I think I understand now. That must have been a tough thing to do.” I turned to look at him. “Have you had to do that before?”
I could only imagine the turbulent thoughts going through Navoy’s head once the bug had been killed. He knew exactly what was to come if he didn’t die right away. He had probably seen too many others go through the torture of being torn apart from the egg sacks hatching. Having him wait even one more second would have been the wrong thing to do. The guy couldn’t talk so why prolong his torture?
“Yes. There have been a couple of times I had to do that. Thankfully, none of the warriors had been close friends. I think that would be much harder. Even though I barely knew Navoy, it was still tough. Killing anyone is tough, especially when they are on your team. I just told myself he was already dead, and what I did was the merciful thing to do.” He squeezed my hand and I gave him a hug. Until this moment, I hadn’t thought about what it must have been like for him. Then I thought about Paris.
“We should invite Paris over until the commander gets back. She shouldn’t be alone right now.” I felt like such an idiot for being so selfish. Zelan went to her room and brought her back.
“How are you doing, Paris?” I walked up to her and gave her a hug. She hugged me back pretty hard. “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you in earlier. I was so self-absorbed I didn’t think about what you were going through.”
She let me go and stepped back. “Don’t worry about it. I had time to cry. I hate crying in front of people. So it worked out.” She shrugged her shoulders. “How about you? Are you okay?”
I gave her a small smile. “Yes, I’m better now. I have never seen a dead body before this week and to watch as that bug did what it did.” I shivered as I remembered it. “Well, let’s just say I hope to never see a cockroach of any size again.”
“How about we play some games?” Zelan asked.
“What kind of games do you have?” I didn’t know anything about alien games, so I wonder
ed what we could play.
“Some of the humans here requested Earth games a while back. So on one of our trips to Earth, we picked up a bunch of them and dropped them off here. This colony has always been the one to request the most from Earth. Others didn’t seem to care as much.” Zelan left Paris and me alone for only a few minutes before he came back with an armload of games.
We spent the next few hours playing various board games from Earth. I was just about to beat them in Monopoly when Commander Venay showed up. I had half of the properties with hotels on them. Both Paris and Zelan had to mortgage most of their properties in order to keep playing. They were not going to make it more than three rounds before they lost to me. Stupid commander. What rotten timing.
Paris jumped up and opened the door for him, and she threw herself into his arms. I had never seen her show so much affection for him. She must have really fallen in love with him. Or did that mate bond thing control a human’s emotions?
“I’m so happy to see you Venay!” And then she kissed him, right in front of us. It wasn’t just a peck on his lips either.
The Commander laughed and looked over at us, “She was losing, wasn’t she?”
Zelan laughed and said, “Yes, we both were losing to Natalie.”
Paris slapped the commander on his shoulder. “Couldn’t I just be happy to see you? It has been a rough day.”
"I am sorry, sweetheart. Of course, that is why you jumped into my arms and kissed me in front of your friends. Forgive me for assuming it was something else." He smiled and kissed her quickly on the cheek. They said their goodbyes and left us alone.
“Is there any food around here? I’m finally starting to get hungry. And by food, I don’t mean chalky, jello mold or food bars. I was really looking forward to the BBQ. There must be something else to eat this late at night, right?” My stomach started to grumble, loudly. “Oh, how embarrassing,” I said as I grabbed my stomach.
“Let’s go see what we can find. I doubt the ice cream shop or the sandwich place will be open tonight, but the canteen probably has something we can eat.” He reached out for my hand, and I let him hold it. It was surprisingly comforting. Today of all days, comfort was what I needed and wanted.
It took us about fifteen minutes of wandering outside to find someplace open. The restaurant was more like a military chow hall I had seen on TV than anything else. It was a very sterile room, with lines of food along some counters. There wasn't a cash register. All food here was free.
They had grilled chicken, or what looked like grilled chicken. I requested the meat to be chopped and put on a salad, then grabbed some tea. Zelan found us a quiet table in the corner. Their hot tea tasted like chamomile and reminded me of simpler days. When I was young, my grandma used to make this for me whenever I slept over at her house. She died many years ago, but I always thought of her when I tasted chamomile.
We ate quickly and quietly. No one in the room was talking. Everyone had bleak expressions on their face. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to live in this small of a community and lose so many people in one night. I bet they all knew each other too.
After dinner, we went right back to our room. Normally, I would have liked to take an evening stroll after dinner, but the mood was all wrong. Everywhere I looked people were sad or crying. I felt awful for this community, but I wasn’t a part of it, so I didn’t feel like I could mourn with them.
“Natalie, would you mind if I went to sleep now? I am exhausted and really need to get some sleep.” Zelan rubbed my shoulders and I could tell he was tired by the lines around his eyes and the sallow look to his face.
“You know what? I was going to say the same thing. It has been a very emotional day.” I took my borrowed pajamas to the bathroom to get ready for bed and thought about how awkward this sleeping situation was. He had told me earlier that he would be a gentleman. He even offered to sleep on the couch. I knew he wouldn’t fit so I vetoed that idea. I chewed on my lower lip as I procrastinated leaving the room. I just hoped I wouldn’t have nightmares tonight.
Chapter 11
When I woke up, I was curled up against Zelan’s side. He had an arm around me. “Good morning, sleepy head. I was wondering when you would wake up.” He smiled down at me.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize I had curled up against you. You could have woken me if we needed to be up sooner.” I stretched and yawned.
“No worries. I was quite content with you in my arms. You are a perfect fit.” He gave me a quick hug. “We don’t need to be anywhere for at least two more hours. I wanted to take you to this little place that makes the best breakfast I have ever had. Have you ever eaten chocolate chip pancakes?”
I bolted upright in bed. “Are you serious? They have chocolate chip pancakes here?”
That was my favorite lazy day breakfast growing up. Mom would make them for the entire family on Saturdays when we had no plans. It didn’t happen often, but those were the days I missed the most. We would all eat the pancakes in our pajamas, and then head off to the living room to lay around and watch movies as a family. I think my sister and I actually got along back then too.
He chuckled, "I take it you like them?"
How could he look so good first thing in the morning? His teeth were dazzling white, his hair was a perfect mess, and he didn't have sleepy eyes like I always did. I bet my hair looked like a hornet's nest right about then too. What was I thinking? It was better if I looked a mess. I didn't need him falling for me any harder than he already had.
“Yes, can I shower first?” I got out of bed so fast, it was as if a fire had been lit under my butt. Finally, I found something that reminded me of home. It was something little, but sometimes it’s the small stuff that mattered the most.
For the first time in the history of the universe, a woman was ready before the man! It felt good to hurry him along. “Come on Zelan, we have to get there before they run out, or we won’t have time to sit and enjoy the pancakes! Do they have real maple syrup?” I knew it was silly. Nevertheless, this was the only thing enjoyable about this trip so far.
“Calm down.” He chuckled. “They have never run out before. I usually stop here for their breakfast whenever we are in town. I am not sure if it tastes the same as what you are used to. I do know that our butter and milk are different because we don’t have cows. At least not like yours. Ours are called, laulons, and produce a much richer milk. Most humans won’t drink ours because it is so rich. Only our young children drink the milk of laulons. It is full of vitamins a growing child needs.”
"Strange, I just assumed you had the same cows as us. Well, I knew it would be a different name but thought it was the same. I’m really interested in trying this now." When our breakfast came, I wasn't let down in the least.
While it was richer and creamier than I was used to, the chocolate chip pancakes were absolutely delicious! I knew I could live here, as long as they got rid of all the Zateelians.
“Sooo, what are we doing today? No more fighting, I hope?” I could handle it again, just not this soon. Fighting was not in my DNA.
“We are going to a memorial service for those who died yesterday, and then we will head back to our ship. I must warn you, the Commander has said that unless you agree to be my mate, you will have to go back into the cells.” Zelan scratched his head, and I could tell he was sad by the downturn on his lips.
“I understand. While I’m not happy about it, I knew I wasn’t going to get to stay free. Look, I do have feelings for you.” He started to smile, and I put my hand up to stop him from getting too happy, “I’m not ready for a new relationship. My old fiancé, Ben, was like a cancer. I’m not saying you are anything like him. I’m sure you are the total opposite.” I was wiggling in my seat.
“However, I need some time to be single and figure things out for myself. My entire adult life was with Ben. I have no clue who I am without a man. Before I can be with anyone, I need to figure myself out first. Can you understand that?” This was a t
ruly uncomfortable situation, but he deserved the truth.
He cleared his throat. "Yes, I can understand. I am not happy, but I will respect your wishes. Does this mean you do not want to spend any more time with me?"
Oh, those sad puppy dog eyes! If I hadn't learned how strong I could be, I would have changed my mind right then and there. Zelan was a very handsome man. When his veins pulsed purple, I almost felt like I could love him. And when he pulsed blue, like right now, I felt his sadness in my heart.
There was this need inside of me to make him happy. I wasn’t sure if it was a trained desire from my last relationship, or if this was because of how I felt for Zelan. These were the types of things I needed time to learn.
“No, of course not. I want to spend time with you, getting to know you. Maybe if we lived here in this settlement we could date? Could we do that on the ship? Would the Commander allow it?" I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of this before.
“Date? What is that?” I watched Zelan’s veins as they pulsed back and forth between blues and greens. It really was mesmerizing. He was so cute when he tilted his head to one side and scrunched his forehead.
“Dating is a social event where a man and a woman who are interested in each other spend time together. They go out and do romantic things like candlelight dinners, mini-golf, sailing on a lake, or even making pottery together. I’m not the best at these things since my ex never did any of it. We went out in groups to parties a lot. Or out to dinner, but nothing romantic. I want to experience romance. Can you understand that?” I put my hand out to touch his hand and he lightly clasped it in between both of his.
“Yes, I understand what you are looking for. This isn’t something my species is accustomed to, but I have noticed other humans, with their mates, back home doing some of what you have said. I will speak with the Commander and see what I can do.” He lifted my hand and kissed the palm. It sent goosebumps down my entire body. I couldn’t help but shiver and smile. Little did he know, but he did have the romance thing down.
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