“I want to learn everything I can,” I say.
Karl and Somrusee look around for a few minutes, reading book titles and gathering books. I feel like an idiot watching them. I am completely illiterate. Even Karl knows how to read! If only they had books back in Keeper—that would have been something I could have spent my winter working on.
After a few minutes, Karl and Somrusee have their arms full of books.
Just when Karl is about to leave, Somrusee finds the copper piece in the corner. “What’s this?” she asks.
Karl stops and goes back into the room. “It looks like copper,” he says, and he reaches out and takes it from her.
Shoot! I should have hidden it. I don’t say anything, hoping they will lose interest soon. That piece of copper could hold the only memory of people who could be my parents. I don’t want to tell them about it, but I don’t want to lose it.
“We could add it to the copper we use to heat the cave at night,” Somrusee says. “The copper we have did cool off eventually last night.”
“We won’t be doing that,” I say quickly. Weirdly. Like, I’m hiding something, and I’m a big dork.
“Why not?” Karl asks.
If only he wasn’t so sincere. I blush a deeper red than even Brit could. “It’s important to me,” I finally say. “It has a memory in it. There were two people, and they talked about the plan.”
“Can we see it?” Somrusee asks.
I don’t want her to see it.
But, I also don’t want her to lose that copper piece. I take it from her, and at the touch of my fingers, the scene starts to play again. “Can you see them?” I ask, hoping against hope that they will say no.
They both shake their heads.
I’m selfish, but I’m happy. The memory is restricted to Azureans. In an attempt to be friendly, I describe the scene to them, leaving out the parts about the baby and any family resemblance between me and the king.
“It sounds like they were talking about the time Wynn was banished in the Western Hills,” Karl says, after the memory fades. If he noticed how shaky my voice was by the end, he doesn’t show it.
“Western Hills?”
Karl nods. “Buen, who trained me at the castle, told me about it. Some of the stories about Wynn and Togan got passed down his family line. Buen descends from Kinni, same as me. We’re both Sapphiri, which means we have the glowing blue eyes.”
Kinni was the name of the man who had a child with Lovina in our world. His name was mentioned in the memory with Togan, too. “Kinni was Togan’s friend,” I say. “The one who came to our world.”
“Yes,” Karl says, “and he’s the one who betrayed Togan and got him killed.”
“How do you know?”
“Buen told me.”
“Was everyone killed, then, by Wynn?”
Karl gives me a confused look. “I think so,” he shrugs. “Although it’s clear something happened up here. Wynn would do anything to get into this room.”
I need to know if Togan is my dad. “Where are the Western Hills?”
“By the castle.”
“We might need to go there,” I say impulsively. “There might be information there about how Wynn defeated Togan. That might help us.” And, maybe, just maybe, we could confirm my parentage. The details almost make sense—Wynn was banished, Reenah got pregnant, they had a portable portal with them, and Wynn escaped. Something happened to Reenah’s baby, the people fled to the mountains, and I showed up hundreds of years later.
But, what happened to Reenah’s baby?
Karl is watching me. I wonder if he knows how much I am hiding. It’s a good thing he’s not an Azurean, or he would just have to touch me, and he would know.
“Let’s take these books outside,” he says. “I don’t know why we would want to go to the Western Hills, but I do know that we need to get some reading done before Ler and Dynd get back.”
I follow them out of the cave. They find comfortable positions and start reading. Unsure of what to do, I wander around and think about what we figured out yesterday. I repeat the principles to myself, inculcating the ideas into my brain. I want the Azurean part of me to be natural. I don’t want to have to think about it. I practice listening to the copper, and I brush Somrusee or Karl’s arm occasionally.
In the end, I don’t learn much because Somrusee and Karl keep interrupting me to tell me something they found in the books.
Azureans only have a fixed amount of blue blood. Once it has run out, they can no longer do any magic with blood, though they can still do hemazury with saliva and sweat.
Someone discovered a way to replenish blue blood, but the page on how to do it has been ripped out.
There is a distinct process described to create portals using a variety of elements, blood, sweat, and saliva. It takes two days to get everything right.
The process to create the mountain barrier, the prison for Wynn, Dee’s escape tunnel, and other types of structures, are also described. They take a lot of blood and a lot of incubation time.
There’s a process that embeds and preserves a living thing in someone’s skin—that means the flower in my breast is real, and it’s alive.
The most puzzling book is one that Karl finds. It’s a theoretical book, and it describes blue blood as the soul of the Azurean. Each time he or she uses their blood, they expend part of their soul. So, according to the book, part of Togan’s soul guards this mountain.
“This is interesting,” Somrusee says. “The first time an Azurean makes love with someone, they’re guaranteed to conceive, and that child will be an Azurean. After that, all their children will be normal.”
“How is it then, that Dee had two Azurean babies?” I ask.
The books don’t say, and Somrusee doesn’t know who Dee is. I wonder if Azurean rules apply on Earth. If Reenah isn’t my mother, is it possible I was conceived by an Azurean as an unwanted pregnancy? Is Azurean inheritance stronger than birth control?
But something inside me says I wasn’t conceived on Earth. Even though I can’t prove it, I don’t believe it.
The books don’t have everything. The strategy Karl and I came up with yesterday isn’t clear in any of the books. Many of the books are full of failed experiments. Over the centuries, being an Azurean has involved a lot of trial and error. And, given what’s in the books, a lot of error.
I listen to each new nugget, determined the work that went into creating this resource won’t go unappreciated. I consider each new thing that can be created and think about how I could use it to defeat Wynn. Nothing sounds very promising, though Karl thinks Wynn can’t do most of the things in the books. I wish I had an unlimited supply of blue blood like Togan did. Whatever I do, if it involves a lot of blood, I will only get one chance, and then I’ll be out of blood.
The afternoon passes and the sun gets low in the sky. The discoveries keep coming, but my mind wanders back to the cave, back to a man and a woman who look a lot like me.
20 Intertwined
Karl
“It doesn’t happen every time, but it happens a lot. When you’re not near me.”
I don’t understand it, and I’m upset. I left this morning to scavenge some breakfast, only to return in time for a mad dash down the mountain to save Somrusee from wandering straight into Goluken’s village.
“The farther you get away from me, the more desperate I feel. I can’t think straight. My mind fixates on leaving the mountain. The feeling only leaves when you return.”
I take a deep breath and shake my head. “That’s your explanation for why I found you halfway down the mountain.”
“I’m not stupid, Karl.”
No, she’s not. Which means Somrusee and I are still tied together. We escaped from Wynn’s castle, but she’s still my prisoner. Frustrated, I hand Somrusee a root and sit down on a log. She sits next to me and nibbles on it. I take a root and bite hard into it, letting my frustration tear it apart.
Stuck. We’re still ch
ained together. Wynn can’t see us, and yet he still controls us. If only we had any idea what to do to free ourselves permanently. Everything depends on Lydia, but she doesn’t use hemazury as smoothly as Wynn. Her instincts are slow, and she keeps forgetting what she can do.
The books in the cave have been helpful, albeit overwhelming. We understand more about hemazury, but Lydia is so uptight about everything that she keeps getting distracted.
She’s been antsy because Ler and Dynd aren’t back yet. She won’t study, she won’t talk about the books. I don’t even know where she is right now.
I’m just about finished eating when a crunch in the bushes brings my head up. Ler, Dynd, and another man are approaching the cave.
Finally.
“Ho Ler!” I shout, hoping I am loud enough for Lydia to hear.
Ler smiles his characteristic smile. The man doesn’t tire. “Karu,” he shouts back. The men with him don’t smile. They look exhausted.
On cue, Lydia magically appears from wherever she’s been all morning. “What took you so long?” she says. “Did you bring clothes for Somrusee?”
Ler laughs. “Tran, Dynd,” he says. “Why don’t you two get some rest? I’ll talk to the princess.”
The men nod and slump by me into the cave. I wonder what happened to them to make them so tired. Dynd walks right through the spiderweb that was adorning the cave entrance. It was brand new this morning; I’ve been admiring it glistening in the sun.
“To answer your second question first,” Ler pulls some clothes out of a small bag. Black tights and an animal-skin tunic. I shudder. I’m ready to get out of the battered pants I’m wearing, but I remember the mountain clothes. Tight-fitting, uncomfortable, and ugly. Still, they’re probably better than pants that are too big.
I take them gratefully and walk into the cave to change. Dynd and Tran are already asleep, which gives me some privacy, though I wish Lydia had left the inner room open. I am naked before I notice that Somrusee followed me and is also stripping.
My face gets hot, and I look at the cave floor, fumbling with my clothes. Neither of us says anything, and I’m grateful for the silence the sleeping men force on us. As soon as I’m clothed, I hurry out of the cave, not waiting for, or looking at, Somrusee.
Ler is talking to Lydia in hushed tones away from the cave. Not sure if I’m invited or not, I walk slowly over until I can hear them. They don’t notice me.
“Arujan’s influence is growing fast now,” Ler is saying, “and anyone who opposes him is removed quickly. Apparently, the villagers killed my father when he returned earlier this spring—his own people that he served his entire life.”
“They killed him?” Lydia looks like she just dropped a brand-new HDTV while unloading it from the moving truck.
Ler nods. He doesn’t look as happy as he normally does.
“Oh Ler! I’m so sorry.” Lydia reaches out to touch his arm, but stops just shy. I’ve never seen Ler look so devastated. I’m still not sure if I’m supposed to be listening, so I sit awkwardly on a rock a few steps away.
“It was a risk he knew he was taking,” Ler says. “Things have changed. Everyone on the village council is dead now, except for Tran. Tran would have been killed if we hadn’t gotten there when we did. We saved him, but it took us a long time to outrun Arujan. We haven’t slept since we left here.”
“What do we do now?” Lydia asks.
Ler shrugs. He looks different without a smile on his face. “I don’t know. Arujan has convinced most people that there is no one in the valley, and that it’s only the people’s fear and ignorance holding them in the mountains. He plans to get everyone off of the mountains this year.”
“Will he succeed?” I ask, asserting myself in the conversation for the first time. I know what will happen to those people in the valley. The same thing that happens to a hovering crowd of mosquitoes when they meet an electric bug zapper.
Ler nods. “Food supply is low. People are restless.”
“Can we stop him?” Lydia whispers.
“It’s too late.”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” I say. “Wynn will kill Arujan once he’s off the mountain. I don’t understand what he stands to gain.”
Ler shrugs.
I stand. “I’m going to speak to him.” Somrusee walks out of the cave in time to hear my decision. When I see her, I almost take my words back. If I go, she has to go with me. But how can I not go? From what we read in the books yesterday, once the mountains are empty, the barrier will fail, and we will lose our sanctuary.
Arujan is forcing a showdown, and we’re not ready yet.
We, meaning Lydia.
“Karl, don’t go,” Lydia says, also standing. “Ler and Dynd checked it out—I trust them when they say there’s nothing we can do.”
I’m not convinced. We know no more about what is going on than a squirrel knows about a car. We see danger and know to run, but we don’t realize how fast the car is coming or how oblivious it is to us crossing the road in front of it.
“I lived in the valley,” I say. “I lived in Wynn’s castle. I know what it’s like down there, and I’m not going to let Arujan lead thousands of people to be slaughtered like cattle.”
Lydia is quiet for a moment. I’m surprised when her look softens. “Let me come with you,” she says.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because if you get captured, you guarantee the success of Arujan’s plan and ruin our chances of stopping Wynn.”
My words seem to hit her harder than I meant them. She looks uncertain and even sad. She looks away and avoids the questions in my eyes.
“I think it’s okay,” Ler says. “Tran and I have lots more we need to tell Lydia this afternoon. We have plans to make, things to discuss. It’s just as good a time as any.”
“I’ll be back by nightfall.” I leave then, not wanting to catch Lydia’s eye again. Somrusee jogs to catch up, and we walk away. Lydia says nothing more. What did I say that made her so sad?
“I hate putting you in danger like this,” I say to Somrusee as we move farther into the woods. The path is soft with pine needles, broken only by an occasional rock.
“I think you’re right to talk to Arujan, and you know you have to bring me.”
“You aren’t just making it up?” I say, with a little bit of a smile on my face. “That you have to come?”
She blushes. “I’m not. You saw me this morning. You know, it’s romantic in its own way.”
Romantic. She said it, not me. The word bounces around my head as we walk in silence for the next few hours. I go at a brisk pace—when I’m about to do something stupid, I like to do it quickly so I don’t spend a lot of time reconsidering my decision.
But, even though I’m going fast, Somrusee keeps up and doesn’t complain. On her left cheek she still has the scar from Wynn, the one that he gave her the night she became my za’an. Lydia took off Wynn’s initial on her right cheek, but she left my initial on the left.
Why did she do that? Did she run out of time? Or, is it possible Somrusee asked her to leave it?
Romantic. Do I have romantic feelings for Somrusee? She was there for me when there was no one else. I was there for her when there was no one else. Still, Somrusee was my slave, and she could never comprehend my world. Is that important? I don’t know how to take her to Earth, and she wouldn’t be happy if I did. She would be like a duck trapped in a chicken coop—always looking for a lake while living a life stepping in chicken poop.
She takes my hand. Her hand is soft and comfortable.
I remember the first time we held hands—after I saved her life at the gate of the city.
She smiles at me, and I see the scar with my initial again. And then it hits me. Somrusee has liked me for a long time. That’s why she confronted me that day in our room at the castle. She was hurt, not just because I was killing her by not sleeping with her, but because she wanted me to. She wanted to have my babies because s
he liked me, not just because it was the only way to stay alive.
I stop walking. Somrusee stops as well, a curious expression on her face. My thoughts are spinning. Can I look at Somrusee and see her as a woman? As a friend?
“You love me.” It’s a question, but it isn’t.
Somrusee blushes. “Yeah,” she whispers, and she smiles. I don’t move, and neither does she. My hand is still in hers. Her hair falls gently over her ears and rests on her shoulders. She turns so she’s facing me, and then, when I stay frozen, she moves her face closer to mine. Her lips are full. I watch her, and she smiles. Her breath warms my lips. Our lips meet.
It isn’t a long kiss before we start walking again. She holds my hand tightly. She’s smiling.
But, the smile isn’t contagious. I feel a lot of things, but peace isn’t one of them. She loves me. Do I love her in return? Or, am I going to betray her, like Andrea betrayed me?
My body reacted when she kissed me, but that doesn’t mean anything. Tara taught me about my body. I’m no longer the ingenuous graduate student I was before I knew Tara. How a body reacts is not love or commitment.
So, how can I know what I feel for Somrusee? I want a relationship where I’m understood, validated, and loved. A relationship where I’m safe to be who I am, where I’m the real me. A relationship where we think through problems together. Where we are friends.
Somrusee and I spent months in captivity together, and we understand part of each other, but what about the rest of us?
We walk the rest of the way to Watch. Our hands stay intertwined, but we don’t kiss again. Even though I want to.
21 Interloper
Karl
The sun is high in the sky when we arrive at Watch. The view of the houses sprawled across the valley connected by winding paths surface suppressed memories. Long days in the hot sun. Cadah’s broken body. Complete ignorance.
I was desperate to escape. I wanted to be safe from Tara and safe from Arujan. I wanted to run. But safety isn’t my goal anymore. Perhaps one can run from danger for only so long before they either crack or fight. I haven’t cracked, and I don’t intend to. I don’t know how long I have to live, but in the meantime, I’m fighting. That’s why I’m back in Watch. That’s why I’m going to meet a killer. I must convince him of Wynn’s existence. He needs to keep the people in the mountains.
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