I’ve got to get a handle on myself.
The library was as empty as the hallways. It was only during exam time that students occupied the tables in the study area after school hours. And that was still about a month away.
Kieran headed over to the reading nook at the far end of the library—passing the study tables, computer terminals, and book stacks. He took his seat on one of the oversized beanbag chairs and reached for a book that lay on the floor next to him. Looking at the title, he smiled. It had been a favourite of his when he was younger. It was about a secret world that a young girl found behind a bookcase in the attic of the new home she and her family had just moved into. The world was filled with magical creatures that quickly became her best friends. He flipped the book open to a random page and began to read.
Isabelle picked up the glowing rock; it felt warm and alive in her hands.
“What is this?” she asked, unable to peel her eyes from it.
“It’s a truth rock,” Tiffany said. “Ask it a yes or no question. It can only answer with truths. It will glow purple if the answer is yes. But, if the answer is no, it will glow red.” Isabelle looked to her friend with widened eyes. “Give it a try, Izzy.”
Isabelle looked at her stopwatch. She had already been gone for an hour. She knew her mother would be home from work soon and come looking for her. But she wasn’t ready to leave yet.
“Do I have time for one more game before mom gets home?” She stared at the rock. It grew warmer in her palms as it changed to a deep purple colour. A smile spread across her face, and she turned to Tiffany. “It said yes.”
Tiffany clapped and smiled back at her. “What should we do?”
“I want to fly again.”
“That’s not really a game.”
“It is for me. Please, Tiffany…” Isabelle held the rock tightly to her chest, willing Tiffany to say yes.
Tiffany held her hand out to Isabelle. “Let’s go.” Tiffany could never say no to her friend.
Isabelle gripped Tiffany’s hand. Tiffany slowly moved her wings, back and forth, and their feet lifted from the ground. She paused when they were high enough and then turned her head to Isabelle. “You ready?”
Isabelle quickly nodded her head, her eyes as large as saucers. They took off. Up above the trees and over the flowing river. Their laughter was lost in the wind.
Kieran closed the book.
That’s what I need, a truth rock.
He thought what he would ask it. He had so many questions. But he decided on the most important one of them all.
Am I going to find any answers today?
He closed his eyes and imagined he was holding the glowing rock in his hands. He stared at the rock, as his question fell from his lips. He waited a few seconds. It started to turn purple, and then it changed to red, then back to purple. Kieran opened his eyes and let his head fall back against the beanbag chair.
I really am going crazy now.
He placed the book onto the low table in the centre of the reading nook. He then collected the other books that were on the floor around him and piled them on top of one another. He left his thoughts of the fictional rock and it’s truth powers behind and began his search for Ms. Lily.
“What I really need is a crystal ball,” he chuckled to himself.
It didn’t take Kieran long to find Ms. Lily. It was her right hand that he first spotted. She was reaching for a book on top of a tall pile at the end of a bank of shelving. He walked closer, following her hand as she gracefully carried it above her head to match her other arm. With both arms raised, she turned her toes outward, bent her knees and then spun herself into the air.
Once.
Twice.
She landed flat on her feet. She then raised herself onto her toes again, extending her long arms up to the highest shelf to file away the book. Ms. Lily hadn’t noticed Kieran. Her eyes were focused on the task at hand, and her ears were filled with music from her headphones.
Kieran picked up the next book in the pile and passed it to her when she turned his way. She startled, pulling her earphones away from her ears.
“I didn’t see you there.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay.” She put her palm to her chest, catching her breath.
“A pirouette, right?” Kieran asked, handing her the book.
Ms. Lily smiled and then filed the book between two others. “You’re a good listener, Kieran. I wasn’t sure you were paying attention that day I went all ballet on you.”
“Do you miss it?” He handed her another book.
She paused. “I do. But as you see,” she turned to put the book in its place, “I haven’t given it up completely.” She laughed, and Kieran joined in.
“I wasn’t expecting you here today.”
“I’m just waiting for Riya to finish with play practice. Then we’re heading out.”
“I saw them practicing the other day during lunch hour. It’s really coming together. I’m looking forward to seeing the performance in a couple of weeks.”
“So am I.” Kieran pointed to the pile of books on the other side of Ms. Lily. “Why don’t I help with those while I’m waiting?”
“Thanks, Kieran. Then maybe I’ll be able to get out of here before dinnertime.” She grinned, and they both began transferring the books from the floor to their appropriate spots on the shelves.
***
The overcast sky turned everything grey and dreary. A gust of wind, colder than would have been expected for that time of year, whirled by Kieran and Riya. Riya twisted away from the wind, allowing her hair to fly from her face. She pulled a hair-tie from her wrist and secured her blowing curls at the nape of her neck.
Kieran ran both of his hands through his hair, moving it off of his face. “Wishing my hair was a little longer now so I could sport one of those man buns.”
Riya snickered. “How do you know about man buns?”
“I read those magazines you leave in the bathroom.” Kieran smiled and raised his eyebrows. Kieran and Riya looked to their right, then to their left, and crossed to the other side of the street.
“Here we are.” Riya looked up at the red brick building in front of her. A set of stone stairs led up to an old wooden door. Beside the door, on the building’s brick exterior, was a bronze plaque with the name Laken House written in raised letters.
The late afternoon sun broke through the clouds and lit up the stairs. The hair on the back of their necks stood up.
Each of the buildings that lined the street looked similar to Laken House, save for the colour of the brick: two stories high with a flat roof, three windows on the second floor, and two windows on the first floor flanking the front door. Riya waited for Kieran to take the lead.
Kieran took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
Here goes nothing.
Riya followed him up the steps. She stood beside him as he reached out to ring the bell and then quickly pulled his arm back to rest by his side. Kieran rocked in place while they waited. Neither of them made a sound.
The door opened and before them stood a middle-aged woman with rosy, full cheeks. Her nose was rounded and speckled with freckles. She had warm, welcoming brown eyes that were surrounded by a handful of faint lines. Her dark brown hair just grazed her shoulders.
Kieran let go of the breath he was holding.
“How can I help you two?” She asked.
Kieran cleared his throat. “My name is Kieran. And this is my friend, Riya. I was hoping to speak with Glenda Yarding.”
“Well, you’re in luck. You’re lookin’ at her.” Glenda moved to the side and motioned for Kieran and Riya to come inside.
Kieran entered Laken House first, and Riya followed behind him. As he looked around, everything suddenly became very familiar.
“Gleeendaaa,” a voice called from upstairs.
“I’ll be right there, Scotty,”
Glenda replied over her shoulder. She turned back to face Kieran and Riya. “Duty calls. I’ll be right back. Make yourselves comfortable.” She directed them toward the great room to their right.
Riya made her way into the great room, but Kieran didn't follow. He took a much-needed moment to absorb his surroundings. He slowly turned around in the small entryway. As he glanced at his reflection in the mirrored closet, it was as though a dam had broken—lost memories from his childhood suddenly flooded his mind. Everything began looking very familiar. The runner fastened to the staircase just ahead of him was different. And the walls had been repainted. But otherwise, everything looked the same—right down to the old photographs that adorned the wall across from the staircase.
Kieran looked to his left toward a closed door and pictured what was behind it—an office with a small metal desk, covered with piles of papers. Behind the desk was a window that looked out to the street below. Flashbacks, like waves, came crashing into his mind. He remembered sitting in that office. He remembered gripping his toy monkey to his chest and staring out that window, wondering why he was there.
Kieran shook away the memory and moved further into the house. He recognized the creaking sounds that the worn hardwood floor made as he walked. He peeked into the great room and was relieved to see that Riya had occupied herself and befriended a little girl in pigtails. They were huddled together on the floor organizing puzzle pieces. Kieran continued all the way to the kitchen at the back of the house. He stood with his palms flush against the sliding glass doors that lead out to the backyard. His eyes glazed over as he stared outside. He was focused on a swing that was being gently nudged by the wind. He remembered that swing.
“You loved being on that swing.” Glenda’s voice was soft, as to not startle him. Kieran’s mind suddenly refocused and he turned his head to face Glenda. “For those first few days, it was the only thing that made you smile.”
Kieran gently nodded and looked back to the swing. “I remember…” his voice trailed off.
He could remember details about the house. He could remember swinging on the swing so many years ago. But why could he remember nothing about his mother who left him there all those years ago?
“I recognized you right away.” Glenda’s soft voice pulled him away from his troubled thoughts. “Many kids have been through here over the years—too many to remember. But you, I never forgot.” She smiled and raised a folder that had Kieran’s name written on the outside. “I have a pretty good idea why you are here today. Let’s find a place to sit down.”
Glenda led Kieran through the kitchen that spanned the width of the house. As they passed by the breakfast table in the centre of the room, Glenda took a moment to adjust an out of place chair. She and Kieran entered the great room and took a seat at an oversized wooden dining table. Armchairs flanked the table ends, while long benches occupied the sides of the table where Kieran and Glenda had settled.
At the opposite end of the room, Riya remained immersed in arranging puzzle pieces with the little girl. Their presence, or more so, Riya’s presence, provided Kieran with welcomed comfort.
Kieran ran his fingers over the small nicks and scrapes in the table. He chuckled when his hand connected with the deeper dent closer to the centre, recalling how it had gotten there. Kieran paused over the distinct memory—he hadn’t thought about Dennis in ages.
I wonder where he is now. And if he still likes airplanes.
“He started in an engineering program this year.”
Kieran looked up to Glenda with questioning eyes.
“Dennis.” Glenda clarified. She pointed to the gash in the table Kieran was still touching. “Yes, his first airplane took a nose dive into this table.” She smiled through her words. “He’s improved his skills over the years and has big plans now. First a degree in engineering; then he wants to build for NASA.” She beamed with pride.
Glenda clasped her hands together and rested them on the tabletop. “So, Kieran, why don’t you tell me what I can do for you?”
Kieran exhaled and looked into Glenda’s eyes. “What do you know about my mother?”
Six
Ward Buddy
“YOU ARE WELCOME HERE anytime. Both of you,” Glenda called after Kieran and Riya as they descended the front steps of Laken House.
“Yeah, come back soon, Riya!” a high-pitched voice carried through the early evening breeze. The sky had mostly cleared, and the sun’s rays sliced through the remaining clouds.
Riya turned back and waved at the little girl. “Bye, Stella!”
“Bye, Riya!” Stella’s pigtails swayed as she bounced on her tiptoes and waved goodbye.
“It looks like you found yourself a new friend,” Kieran declared.
“I certainly did,” Riya glanced up at Kieran, as they crossed to the other side of the street.
***
“So how long are you going to make me wait?” Riya stopped walking and reached for Kieran’s arm. “We are like 50 steps from being home and not a word from you.” His feet slowed and then stopped.
Kieran turned to face Riya and took a few steps until he was standing by her side. He sighed, sagging his shoulders. “I’m sorry. There’s just not that much to tell.”
“That’s no surprise, Kieran. You knew they didn’t know much about your mother—even before going over there today.” Riya touched him gently on the shoulder. “Was Glenda able to tell you anything at all about your mom? How she seemed on the day that she dropped you off? What she said?”
He shrugged. “Glenda said that a few days before I was dropped off, she had noticed a woman pacing in the grassy area across the street from the house. She didn’t think much of it at first. But, when she returned to the house hours later, after having dropped the kids off at school and completing a grocery store run, the woman was still there. She was still pacing, and she was looking somewhat distraught. Glenda thought that the woman might need help of some kind. But as Glenda walked toward the woman, she quickly took off. Glenda said that she recognized the woman as being my mother when she arrived at the Laken House doorsteps days later, with me in tow.”
“Well, that’s something. Maybe she was kind of like, checking the place out…before taking you there? She must have cared about you.” Riya attempted to raise Kieran’s spirits.
“Cared so much to leave me and never come back?” Kieran spat back, immediately regretting it.
“It’s more than I could say about my mom.” Riya looked off into the distance.
“Sorry, Riya.”
“No need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't abandon me at a police station when I was six-years-old,” Riya’s voice was sharp. “You didn’t tell the officer that you never wanted me and that they should find someone who does.”
“Riya…” Kieran’s voice was soft, just above a whisper. He pictured a younger version of Riya sitting in a chair at the police station—her big brown eyes wet and sad.
Riya clapped her hands together. “Enough about that, back to you. What else did she say?”
Kieran took a moment to sort through what Glenda had told him. “Apparently, when my mother left me she had looked sad,” Kieran reported matter-of-factly. He refused to let himself get emotional. Especially, after what Riya had just divulged. Kieran did not possess a first-hand account of what had brought him to Laken House. All he had were anecdotes from others. Yes, he had scars that ran deep, but at least he didn’t have traumatic memories.
“My mother had asked if they could take care of me at Laken House for a little while. Something had happened and she needed to leave town for a couple of weeks. She wasn’t able to take me along with her. But Glenda said that she knew, from the look in my mother’s eyes, that she wasn’t coming back. Glenda said my mother told me to be brave.” Kieran paused and swallowed. He was losing his resolve. “And that she called me her sweet boy.”
“Kieran, that is huge! Your mother loved you.” Ri
ya wrapped her arms around Kieran. “I know you didn’t get the answers you were looking for, but that is pretty special.”
Kieran nodded, unable to get any words around the lump forming in his throat.
“Did they try to find her? What about your father?” Riya began spitting out the same questions Kieran had posed to Glenda earlier that day.
“Glenda said that they did try to find my mother. But Johnson is a pretty common last name—so no luck on that front. The police were contacted. There had been no recent reports of any missing person matching my mother’s description. And no missing person report had been filed for a boy my age. It seemed there was no one concerned about where I was. Local and neighbouring hospitals were called—nothing. Every attempt turned out to be a dead end. Glenda explained that when a distressed person drops off a child, questions aren’t generally asked. ‘Open arms and no judgements’, is how she explained it. The mission of Laken House is to provide a safe haven for children. And the anonymity that they offer to those with ‘the courage to do the right thing’,” Kieran made air quotes with his fingers, “allows for that.
“Glenda mentioned that a local news station did a piece on the group home the week before I was dropped off. She thought maybe that’s how my mother knew about Laken House. Anyways, I was placed in a foster home. The social worker assigned to me reported that I seemed happy and well-adjusted. And given that my mother dropped me at Laken House, it was assumed that I was probably better off where I had been placed. So I became a Ward. And the rest is history.”
“Ward. I’ve always hated that term.” Riya shook her head.
“It’s better than a number, I guess.” Kieran shrugged and kicked at a stone on the sidewalk.
“True.” Riya grabbed hold of Kieran's hand and swung it back and forth as they continued on their way home. “My Ward buddy,” she chuckled, and Kieran joined in.
***
“It smells delicious out here.” Riya pushed through the gate to the backyard. Kieran followed behind her and inhaled. His stomach rumbled in response.
Volume 1: Bailex, #1 Page 4