“Do you have the first dress on yet?” Charlotte excitedly calls through the door, snapping me out of my musing.
“Sure, just one second!” I call back, ripping off my clothes and throwing on a random dress. I don’t even look in the mirror before opening the door.
Charlotte’s eyes are wide and shiny. “Yes. That’s the dress.” She claps her hands together and practically squeals.
“It’s the first one I tried on,” I say, feeling guilty that I’m not as excited as I should be.
“So? Have you even looked at yourself? Turn around so I can zip you the rest of the way.” Placing her hands on my bare shoulders, she spins me around to face the mirror and my breath hitches.
“Whoa,” is all I can manage. The dress is black and off both shoulders, leaving my upper chest bare, with a sweetheart plunge that’s not inappropriate but not exactly modest either. It’s tight all the way down, giving me curves where I didn’t know I had them, and it loosens up about midthigh, flowing elegantly to the floor with a slit running up to my left thigh.
“‘Whoa’ is an understatement!” Charlotte’s smile is so big it must hurt her cheeks. “I’m so glad I sent Aiden away so he didn’t see this before you were properly glammed up. He’d jump your bones!”
“Char!” I laugh, my spirits lifting slightly.
The dress is gorgeous and I feel beautiful in it. It’s dizzying and makes dark thoughts pop in my mind. It’s not illegal to feel happy. There’s no reason you shouldn’t wear this dress and pretend it’s your prom, it’s not like you’ll get a real one with Aiden. It’s not like you’ll want to go to prom with anyone other than Aiden. Make the most of the situation.
“I’m going to go get shoes!” Charlotte giggles, her excitement contagious as she turns and runs to the shoe section.
She leaves me staring at myself in the mirror, and I take a deep breath, decision made. For the millionth time since I met Aiden, I let myself be selfish. I’m going to let myself pretend that this is our prom, the one that I’ll never get to have, and ignore the stabbing in my stomach, ignore everything telling me that I’m going to hurt all the people I care about, including myself.
We get home without Aiden having a clue which dress we bought, as per Charlotte’s demands, and I model it for Annalisa, who claps in delight and declares the rest of the evening a girls’ spa night.
Charlotte makes face masks in the kitchen while Annalisa and I are in my room gathering all our nail polishes together to have options, when Annalisa’s phone rings. The look on her face when she examines the caller ID tells me something is wrong, but she answers the call out in the hall anyway.
“What happened?” I ask as she sits back down on the floor across from me.
“Nothing.” She dismisses me, but then changes her mind. “That was Luke.”
She actually answered the phone for her brother? I guess that’s progress from having his number blocked and cursing the day he was born.
“He called me from jail. He was arrested a couple of days ago and charged with killing Greg. Second degree murder.” She looks down and fiddles with her nail polish bottle.
“I’m so sorry, Anna,” I say sincerely.
“Why? Don’t be sorry. I’m not. He deserves this,” she states fiercely, maybe too fiercely, the kind of statement that makes me feel like she’s really only trying to convince herself.
My brief silence prompts her to keep talking. “He’s a shitty brother, and he killed a person! A shitty person, but still! Plus, he killed my mom, so I say good riddance!”
She’s definitely trying to convince herself.
“Why do you say he killed your mom, Anna? I thought her addiction did?” I ask gently, because I know it’s a touchy subject for her, but I want to help her work through it.
She takes a deep breath, her tough façade slowly deflating.
“My mom may have had her faults, but she had a tough life. She was still my mom and I loved her.”
I move closer to her and give her my full attention, knowing she’s going to open up, which is incredibly rare for her.
“She was depressed and mostly absent from my life because of an incident from before I was born,” she admits quietly, still not looking at me. “She was sixteen and pregnant, kicked out of her house, written off by her family, and left to fend for herself. She was a fighter, though, and managed to land on her feet and do pretty well for herself and Luke. But then I came along and fucked everything up.”
“What? Anna! How could you even say that?! You didn’t ruin anything by being born!” I say, slightly mad that she would think that about herself.
Her mom would’ve been twenty or twenty-one when she had Annalisa, which I get may have been hard for a young, single mom already, but it wasn’t Annalisa’s fault!
“I did ruin everything!” she says and looks at me, tears welling up in her eyes. “She was raped by some guy at a party, and that resulted in me being born. She never came out and said it, but I knew she looked at me as a constant reminder of that awful night.”
“Oh, Anna. I’m sure she didn’t feel that way about you,” I tell her, not really knowing how to comfort her.
“I don’t know, she was still my mom, but it was really hard for her, so she was pretty absent or high a lot of the time. She did her best when she could, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else, but because of that, it was usually just me and Luke left to look after each other, and sometimes her.”
She wipes her tears on her sweater and I stay quiet, hypnotized by her words and by the hardships that she’s telling me about.
“When I started high school, she started getting really bad. I would come home and she would be passed out on the bathroom floor, the pots on the stove overflowing and burning, fire detector going off.”
She sniffs. “I know it was pretty hard on Luke, but it was hard for me too! I knew that I could always depend on him. He was my big brother. He would always be there for me and make everything okay. But he didn’t! He made it worse! He fell into the wrong crowd and he fell down the same rabbit hole as my mom with the drugs. He’s the one who introduced her to heroin, sometimes they even did it together.”
I feel the tears flowing down my own face but force myself to stay quiet.
“And then she overdosed,” she continues. “I was the one who found her, too, and I was destroyed. My whole world died, and I had no idea what to do. I thought Luke would step in and be the hero I always thought he was, he’d make it better.” A sob escapes her lips and tears start flowing again, and I wrap my arms around her, letting her feel whatever emotions she needs to feel.
“But he didn’t! He left me! He left me on my own to navigate all the shit that was happening. If Luke’s dad, who we barely even knew, didn’t eventually feel guilty and pay off our apartment, I would’ve been on the streets.”
The tears silently stream down my face. Annalisa is always so strong and confident and sure of herself and what she wants. It’s so hard to picture her dealing with all of this, but I get why she’s so strong. Going through all of that has hardened her, made her tough and ready to face whatever the world throws at her, and I’m so incredibly grateful to know her.
She pulls away from me and I let my arms drop, and both of us dry our eyes.
“When Luke told me that he was clean, I didn’t want to believe him. I didn’t want to think that I could get my brother back, the one I depended on, because I was scared that he’d screw up somehow and I’d lose him again. And that’s exactly what happened! He got drunk and killed Aiden’s stepdad! And now I won’t get to see him for who knows how long.”
She takes a deep breath, as if trying to clear her head and calm down.
“There’s always a chance he didn’t do it,” I tell her, not wanting her to write off her brother just yet.
He’s trying. For her. He’s doing everything to try and get back into her life. It doesn’t look too good for him right now, but if there’s even the slightest chance that he
’s innocent and doesn’t go to jail, deep down, Annalisa would love to have her brother back.
“I just don’t know how to feel, I guess,” she admits. “If he killed Greg then he deserves to go to jail. But I guess a part of me doesn’t want to see him rot in there, you know?”
“Of course,” I reassure her. “Despite everything, he’s still your brother. And if you need anything, you have us.”
“I know. You guys are all the best.”
She smiles a sad smile, but then shakes her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts, and suddenly her mask snaps back into place, and the emotions she was just displaying are gone.
“So anyway, am I picking Midnight Blue or Deep Purple for my nails?” she asks coolly, as if the last forty minutes never happened.
I sense that she’s done talking about it and don’t push her, telling her Midnight Blue is definitely her color, and we paint our nails and tell jokes and kid ourselves into thinking that everything is okay in our world.
19
Sunday goes by in a blur, and before we know it, it’s time to go to Andrew’s house.
“And you guys made fun of me for bringing my curling iron.” Charlotte smirks as she puts the final curls in my hair. “Always be prepared, that’s what I like to say!”
I laugh and try not to move. “I apologize for doubting your packing skills.”
“But if it wasn’t for this event, you still wouldn’t have used it,” Annalisa says from where she’s sitting in front of us on the bathroom counter.
Charlotte frowns, but she’s not offended. “I’ll remember that on New Year’s Eve when you want to get all glammed up and try to get your grubby hands on my ‘useless’ curling iron.”
“Hey, I never said it was useless,” Annalisa protests with a grin. “I said it would be useless on this trip. There’s a difference.”
“Nuh-uh!” Charlotte argues, putting the iron down. “All done, Amelia! Let me brush these out and you’re good to go.”
I’d vetoed wearing my hair in a fancy updo in favor of keeping it in loose curls, making it easier to hide my face behind my hair if I get caught by a camera flash.
“Thanks again, guys,” I say as Charlotte angles my head to her liking.
I’m fully capable of doing my own hair and makeup, but I wanted this experience with my friends—a memory I can store and recall with fondness when I’m forced to leave them; something that will remind me that I had real friends when I feel alone wherever I end up.
“What are best friends for?” Charlotte replies like she was just reading my mind. “All done!”
She puts the brush down and turns me so I’m fully in the mirror. “You look so beautiful! Well, you always look beautiful, but you know …” Charlotte gushes, her huge smile mirrored by Annalisa’s.
The sight of the three of us, standing side by side in the mirror, hits me right in the stomach. I’ve never had friendships like this. I probably never will again.
“Thanks—really, for everything.” I bite my lip to stop myself from saying something that sounds like a good-bye, but in a way, it is. I’ll never get this moment again. I take a snapshot of it in my mind and store it away, close to my heart.
“I want to see the whole thing together.” Annalisa smiles and ushers me out of the en suite and into the bedroom. “Hurry up and put on your dress so we can zip you up.”
Before I know it, I’m standing in front of them in my dress and heels, my clutch in my hand.
“I wish you’d let us take a picture of you.” Charlotte frowns as she adjusts pieces of my hair.
“We don’t need pictures,” I tell her. “Let’s just live in the moment.”
“I can’t wait any longer!” Annalisa turns and rushes out of the room. “She’s coming down!” she yells to the rest of the house, and I laugh at her excitement.
“Are you ready?” Charlotte asks me, and I nod. This moment feels bigger than it actually is, but to me, it’s the only time I’ll get to be all dressed up with Aiden. Maybe we’ll even dance.
Charlotte stands back and lets me head down the stairs ahead of her. My friends come into view as I descend the stairs, but my eyes land on Aiden’s handsome face and stay there. His eyes are striking against the deep navy of his suit, and my heart squeezes as they lazily trail down my body, drinking me in in the same way I do him.
His broad shoulders fill out his suit perfectly, and it tapers in to fit his narrow waist. The black tie I know isn’t a clip-on stands out against the white dress shirt. I’ve never seen Aiden all dressed up, but it’s definitely a sight I could get used to. Aiden normally turns heads, but he’s goddamn jaw dropping right now.
His eyes meet mine, and the heat and intensity in them steal my breath and make my heart pound against my rib cage. For some reason, I feel shy by the time I reach him, but I can’t look away from his unwavering gaze.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, and I think I stop breathing. Has Aiden ever told me that before?
“You look good too,” I tell him before turning to face my friends, who are crowded around the base of the stairs.
“You look amazing, Amelia,” Mason says. “Even more than usual, if that’s possible.”
Aiden shifts, and I look away from Mason to see Aiden’s jaw clench.
“Thanks, Mason,” I say, a pit forming in my stomach.
“You guys look so good together!” Charlotte squeals, her excitement contagious. “Please let us take a picture of you guys together! Please, please, please!”
Aiden, knowing why I don’t take pictures, starts to protest, when in a split decision, I cut him off.
“Okay,” I say, surprising Aiden and even myself a little. “One picture. Use my phone.”
“Are you sure?” Aiden asks, his eyebrows drawn in concern.
My eyes trace his features, from his intense gray eyes, down his straight nose, to his high cheekbones and his straight jaw, covered in neat stubble.
“Yes.” My memory can only do him so much justice.
I hand Charlotte my phone, and Aiden and I adjust our poses so that we’re side by side, his arm around my waist. She snaps a few, then looks over the phone at us. “Get closer!”
Aiden tugs me and I almost fall into him, and we both laugh. My smile is genuine when we pose again, pressed up against each other, my hand on his chest and his on the small of my back, holding me close.
“You guys are gonna be the best-looking people there,” Noah says from behind Charlotte as I take my phone back.
Aiden laughs, and it’s a freeing sound. “We’re already the best-looking people here, so we’re used to the feeling.”
It takes Noah a beat too long to get the joke. “Well, you—hey!”
Laughing along with everyone else, I quickly look through the pictures Charlotte took, the only ones of me on this phone. We look so carefree. So happy.
“Did it turn out all right?” Aiden asks, holding me hostage with his eyes, and I nod.
I’m glad I decided to do this, even though it’s going to hurt me, knowing I had this and gave it all up. It’s all worth it. All for this memory of Aiden, standing here, looking gorgeous, staring at me with a fire in his eyes like I’m the only person in the world—like he needs me as much as I need him. I promise myself I’ll delete them later—but for now, for tonight, I’m going to keep them.
“Try not to cause too much trouble tonight,” Julian tells us, leaning against the wall.
“And don’t worry about Aquafina, she can’t be as bad as Ryan,” Noah adds.
I turn to Noah. “Who?”
“You know, Aiden’s stepsister. Aquafina.”
Aiden doesn’t glance away from fixing his tie in the hallway mirror. “It’s Evianna.”
“Psh,” Noah waves it away. “Same thing, wrong bottled water company.”
“Noah!” Annalisa chides, smacking him in the arm. “That’s mean.”
“What? You’re gonna stand there and tel
l me that the name doesn’t sound like an expensive bottled water brand?”
“That’s not the point!”
“Okay, that’s our cue to leave,” Aiden tells me over the bickering, then looks at his brothers, who are playing video games in the living room. “Boys, don’t stay up too late.”
Neither of them glances up but they reply at the same time. “’Kay.”
“Ready?” Aiden holds out his arm to me.
Putting my phone back in my clutch, I take his arm and let him lead me out of the house, glancing back to say bye to everyone.
I’m in complete awe as Aiden joins the line of cars slowly moving up the large, mile-long driveway at Andrew’s house. The word house isn’t grand enough to describe the place Mayor Andrew Kessler calls home. Maybe manor or estate. It’s the kind of house that has an east or a west wing.
“Unbelievable,” Aiden mumbles, and I pull my gaze away from the window to look over at him.
“What?”
“When he left, we were basically living in poverty. He knew my mom died. He knew he had three sons out there. For all he knew, we were living on the streets. All the while he’s living in this fucking McMansion he got by marrying some fucking rich broad.”
I take in the $4,000 suit Andrew had no problem getting for Aiden, someone he doesn’t even know, and wonder how far that money would’ve went back before Aiden started racing, how far it would still go for Aiden and his brothers. That money probably didn’t even make a scratch in Andrew’s account. He probably can’t even tell it’s gone.
“He’s an asshole, Aiden. We already know that. It’s not too late to turn around.”
His grip tightens on the steering wheel. “We’re doing this. Then I’m never seeing him again.”
We follow the line of cars up the large driveway and around the fancy water fountain, stopping in front of the steps that lead to the front door, like all the cars before us had done. A well-dressed man opens my door and offers me a hand to help me out. I step out of the low car as gracefully as I can manage. As I wait for Aiden to hand his keys to the valet, I gawk up at the monster of a mansion.
Stay With Me (A Wattpad Novel) Page 19