Bad Cruz_L.J. Shen

by Shen, L. J.

  No wonder Trinity blew most of her savings on this wedding. There was no way Dad could’ve paid for the napkin holders alone from his retired sheriff’s pension.

  I was seated as far as possible from Cruz and didn’t think for one moment that it was by accident. Catherine Costello looked pleased to have me banished from her precious son’s sphere.

  She even patted Cruz’s hand and said, extra loudly, “See the woman with the green turtleneck dress? The one next to Fiona Rouse? I want to make an introduction. She just started her residency at the Johns Hopkins Hospital.”

  I continued pining for Cruz in dignified silence, occasionally answering my mother, sister, father, and Bear who tried to grab my attention and talk to me. The more I stared at him, the more I realized there was a real possibility I was going to beg him to have me back.

  Publicly.

  Very publicly.

  Happily?

  The only way to get him back was to show him he was more important to me than my stupid pride.

  When the speeches came, I sat back and sipped some wine. I didn’t normally drink in front of my family—I was always so desperate not to embarrass them in any way—but today, something fundamental had changed in me.

  I vowed to live my life for myself and my son, not for anyone else.

  The speeches were carried by Cruz, who was Wyatt’s best man, and Gabriella, the maid of honor.

  Cruz went first.

  He delivered the perfect speech, starting with Wyatt’s description as a chubby, cherubic baby, his embarrassing, wannabe-Jon-Bon-Jovi adolescence years, and even glossed over that unfortunate marriage in a highly entertaining manner.

  He had the guests in stitches, but also in tears, and served his captive audience with what must’ve been one of the best speeches to be carried at any wedding, at any time, in the history of the world.

  Good luck to you, Gabriella.

  When Cruz sat down, I saw Trinity and Gabriella exchanging hushed words. Gabriella smiled in embarrassment, nodded, and walked back over to her side of the table.

  I arched an eyebrow.

  She didn’t bail on that part, too, right?

  Because everyone knew wedding speeches were like obituaries. Nobody wanted to do them, but someone had to.

  “Nessy?” Trinity turned in my direction, all smiles.

  Oh, no.

  “Yes?” I replied with coldness that shocked even me.

  “Would you care to make a speech for me?”

  “I would not, actually. What happened?” I couldn’t help but bite back. “Gabriella got cold feet again?”

  “Actually,” Trinity tried to muster another smile, but this one was a little wonky, a lot sad, “I told Gabriella I wished for my sister to carry the speech for me. I know it’s very last minute, but I figured…well, I’ve been really horrible to you, haven’t I? I made you feel like you were less-than, and on top of that, didn’t choose you to be the maid of honor, even though you certainly pulled your weight. So I thought…I mean, I was hoping…”

  A rush of adrenaline ran through me.

  This was her way of apologizing.

  But it was too little, too late.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said tightly, sitting back in my seat. “I don’t have anything written, and I’m Messy Nessy, remember?”

  “You’re my sister,” Trinity maintained. “I like your mess. Your mess is great. Perfect. And you know me better than anyone else.”

  “I don’t want to embarrass you,” I shot back, a little anxious now.

  Everybody was looking at us.

  Everybody.

  It was becoming clear she was asking me to do it, and that I didn’t want to. Funnily enough, I didn’t mind being the bad guy anymore.

  “You’ll never embarrass me.” She handed me the microphone, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. “Please.”

  I snatched the mic from her hand, standing up with a low growl. I was going to make her pay for it. A round of applause came from our audience as everyone took me in.

  I put the microphone to my mouth, sighing. “Don’t be so happy, you still haven’t heard what I’m about to say.”

  A roll of nervous laughter swept over the open-spaced room. People clapped again. I looked around the room, drawing a breath. I felt Bear’s fist curling around the hem of my dress, tugging.

  I looked down.

  He smiled and mouthed, “You’ve got this.”

  I looked at the familiar faces, realizing that they all blurred together in my vision.

  “First of all, I was tasked with giving this speech exactly two seconds ago, so my guess as to what’s about to leave my mouth is as good as yours, but knowing me, I suspect it will at the very least be entertaining.”

  More laughter.

  I stole an anxious look at Cruz. He sat back like he was made out of stone, taking a long sip from his beer, checking his phone.

  The jackgass.

  “Trinity and Wyatt. Wyatt and Trinity.”

  I played with one of my earrings, buying time. Saying their names in different variations wasn’t going to do me much good. It wasn’t an essay I was trying to fill with words to hit a word count.

  “Who would’ve thought, huh? Not me, that’s for sure. I always thought she had a huge crush on Justin Kent.” I winced. “Sorry, Justin, who is here. And his wife, who is also here…it worked out fine for everyone. Other than Wyatt, obviously.”

  This really made people laugh.

  Everyone, including Trinity herself and Wyatt, who leaned into her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. As far as I was aware, this was the first time he’d shown her any type of warmth in public since they’d started dating.

  My chest swelled with pride.

  I held onto the microphone a little tighter.

  “I mean it, though. Trinity’s always been the golden one. The one with the straight A’s. She helped me so much when Bear was born. Even gave up all of her savings to help me pay for his ear surgery. She’s the best sister anyone could ask for.” I turned to look at her, my eyes crinkling. “Which is why she became a nurse. I don’t know any other woman in the world who could charm her way into a toddler’s good graces even though they know she’s about to stick a needle in them.”

  More laughter.

  I wasn’t doing badly at all.

  “I think that’s the trouble with living in the shadow of a hero, though. You don’t know just how much you have until you drift apart. I almost lost…I mean, I did lose a hero like that, I guess.”

  I snuck another look at Cruz.

  His jaw was stiff, his eyes narrow and darkened, but at least he was no longer focused on his phone.

  Now his entire attention was on me.

  “I just…” I shook my head. “I’m glad my sister bagged the man she wants. The man of her dreams. Because it’s not to be taken for granted. Sometimes the good ones slip between the cracks, and you can’t reach and pull them back to you.”

  By the way my mother placed a hand on the small of my back, I knew I was detouring, fast.

  But it was too late.

  I had a chance to be heard by Cruz, and I wasn’t going to mess it up this time. I didn’t even care that I was stealing Trinity’s thunder.

  This was truly the only time I’d ever done that maliciously—deliberately—and she needed to deal with it.

  For the first time in my life, I was selfish.

  “I’m not going to sugarcoat it. A lot has changed since Trinity got engaged to Wyatt. For one thing, our families went on a cruise together. And that’s when I…”

  Don’t say had wild sex with Dr. Cruz Costello. I repeat don’t say had wild sex with Dr. Cruz Costello.

  “That’s when I fell in love with Dr. Cruz Costello,” I finished.

  People gasped and choked on their drinks in the audience. I soldiered through, the hysteria bubbling in my throat reminding me that I’d just admitted to a room full of people who despised me, that I was
in love with their idol.

  “I fell in love with him, and I think maybe, for a moment in time, he fell in love with me, too.”

  I turned to look at him fully now.

  He stared at me with fascination. There was no tenderness or love there. Just the surprise and awe of someone who was witnessing the carnage of a train wreck happening in slow motion.

  It was too late to back down from this, though, so I let it all out, even if Catherine Costello looked like she was about to stab me with her steak knife.

  “I can’t live without you, Dr. Costello. I mean, I can, but I don’t want to. Not in the spoiled way people don’t want to do things, like laundry and the dishes. I know this is the wrong time and certainly the wrong place. But Cruz, I’m going to take my chance and tell you—the ultimatum you gave me the other day? I accept! I accept your offer!”

  I thought it was a nice touch. To finally give him what he wanted, move in with him, after being all wishy-washy. I’d seen scenes like that in movies and TV shows all the time.

  This was my grand gesture, and as such, he couldn’t deny me.

  Cruz’s expression was unreadable, his mouth pressed into a hard line. Not exactly the way a Disney prince looked before whisking his favorite princess away on a magical carpet, but hey, I had to work with what I got.

  “Sorry, sweetheart, that offer has expired.”

  What.

  There were more gasps.

  People pulled out their phones and directed them at my face. Catherine clutched her heart, like she was about to have a breakdown. Her husband side-eyed her quietly, undoubtedly not buying into her theatrics.

  Trinity surprised me by shooting Cruz a murderous stare and reaching across the table to give my hand a squeeze. I felt the air leave my lungs. The earth shaking under my feet.

  He’d said no.

  He didn’t want me anymore.

  I closed my eyes, letting the humiliation sink in.

  Then he continued.

  “I’m not an interlude to your ordinary program, Tennessee Turner. Nor am I a life choice like veganism you can slip in and out of, depending on your family’s mood. I love our families, but not enough to let them tamper with the big love of my life. But you don’t seem to feel the same. I don’t want you to move in just so you can move out the first time I piss you off. When things go wrong. When your sister decides to have a fit. When my mother thinks you’re unsuitable for me and things get hard. In short—I don’t want to let you in, when it’s so perfectly obvious you are going to bail on me as soon as things get hard again.”

  “I won’t,” I cried out. “I promise.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Then what do you suggest?” I blurted out, my infamous, never-yielding pride in tatters. People were gulping in every second of this. This was too good to be true. The town’s screw-up being rejected by the national darling. “I can’t just give you up. I love you.”

  “I understand. The way I see it, there is only one solution.” He folded his arms over his chest.

  “What is it? I’ll do anything.”

  “Anything?”

  “Okay, not a threesome. And no pee stuff in the bedroom.”

  Snorts and laughter came from the audience, but not all of them were amused. Some covered for uncomfortable coughs.

  My mother fainted.

  Catherine looked like she was about to leave and was waiting for someone—anyone—to stop her.

  No one did, and so she stayed anyway.

  “That narrows ‘anything’ down pretty significantly,” Cruz pointed out.

  “Oh, just tell me, Cruz.”

  “Marry me.”

  “What?”

  “Make an honest man out of me, Tennessee Turner, and I’ll have you back. Any other solution just won’t work for me. I already told you it’s all or nothing. You said nothing doesn’t suit you—well, give me your all.”

  All eyes clung to me, waiting for my answer.

  Bear squeezed my hand under the table, whispering under his breath, “I want a game room, Mom.”

  My mother murmured that she was going to disown me if I refused him. Apparently, she’d come to.

  Dad grunted that he really couldn’t afford another wedding.

  Trinity whimpered in Wyatt’s ear that her thunder had been stolen once again.

  And Catherine Costello keeled over and emptied her stomach on a nearby patch of lawn.

  “Yes,” I heard myself say, a smile spreading over my mouth. “Yes, I will be your wife, Dr. Cruz Costello.”

  I nearly tackled my entire family to the ground on my way to Tennessee, mowing over Wyatt and parts of my mother’s dress.

  I picked Tennessee up and kissed her long and hard in front of an audience who’d come to celebrate Wyatt and Trinity’s love and, until moments ago, were pretty sure there was no love lost between their siblings.

  I’d feel bad if it wasn’t for the fact that Wyatt and Trinity were in it for the arrangement. Or that I’d been in love with the woman I just got engaged to since before she was out of diapers.

  Tennessee clung to me, her lips glued to mine almost childishly, like I could disappear at any moment.

  “I missed your mouth so much. The rest of you, too.”

  “You’re going to have a lot of one-on-one time with both of us, sweetheart. Starting today.”

  “Gross,” I heard Bear grumble behind my fiancée’s back. “I’m still here, you know. And the rest of the county, too, for that matter, so get your hands off my mom. Dad, can you believe what he’s doing to her?”

  He can, and he’s done much worse, I was tempted to say.

  Rob chuckled and clapped his son’s shoulder as I put Tennessee back down gently, pushing away strands of her golden hair so I could take a better look at her.

  Mine.

  I tucked her under one of my arms, so she couldn’t run off. She was laughing and crying at the same time. I let her have her moment while people trickled to the table to congratulate us, stunned and amused in equal measures.

  No one looked overtly annoyed or disappointed with the announcement, other than Mrs. Holland, who got up and left around the time Tennessee had confessed her love for me.

  Wyatt appeared in my periphery, Trinity by his side.

  “You sure know how to make a scene.” He arched an eyebrow, slapping my back in a bro-hug.

  I tilted my head toward Trinity. “Sis-in-law?”

  “What?” she spat in annoyance.

  “You mad?”

  “Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it, Dr. Costello.” She pinched her lips. “But not at my sister. She couldn’t help what left her mouth. I pushed her into a corner with that little speech. She just rambled her way into this confession. You, on the other hand, proposed to someone else on my wedding day.”

  “I’m sure that happens all the time. You know how many people are dying right now?”

  “At my wedding, too, I should add.”

  “What can I do to make it up to you?” I gave her a genuine smile.

  “Nothing you can do will ever make it up to me.” She stamped her heeled foot on the raised ramp of the table, then scowled. “Aw. Now I think I sprained my ankle.”

  “Even if I pay for your honeymoon?”

  “Even if you…hold on, expenses, too?”

  “Promise not to get too wild with my credit card?”

  “Never. And you’ve got yourself a deal.” Trinity reached to shake my hand, and I took it, laughing. She turned to Tennessee, scrunching her nose. “I really am sorry about everything, Nessy. I was so wrapped up in making this day the best of my life, I totally forgot that I was making it a miserable few weeks for everyone else, you included. You’ve been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve you, and I will never forget that or take you for granted ever again. I promise to do better.”

  “Me, too.” Donna Turner wedged herself between Trinity and Wyatt, giving Tennessee an intense kicked-puppy look. “The wedding stress is
no excuse. We were so unfair on you and Cruz. I’m so sorry, honey.”

  Behind them, I could see my dad poking my mother to enter the human circle we’d formed. She tried to swat him away, but he only gave her a more solid push.

  She stumbled into us, pouting.

  “Guess I have my own apology to hand out.” She rolled her eyes like a sulky teenager. “I may or may not have been wrong to tamper with Cruz’s love life. It’s just that he’s always been so perfect and I had his entire fairytale planned for him. So when he went off-script, I got so…so…”

  “Mad?” Tennessee finished for her.

  “Yes!”

  “I know, same here. Half the time we were together, I asked myself what the heck he was doing.”

  My mother gave a low, appeased chuckle. “It never occurred to me that he’d have different plans. Does seem a bit controlling, put that way.”

  There was a brief silence before Rob shrugged and said, “This may be one of the rare times when I don’t have a reason to apologize to anyone, but in the spirit of being the town’s new favorite fuck-up, now that Nessy is showing promising signs of being Dr. Costello’s dutiful and esteemed wife, I’m sorry, too.”

  “What for?” Bear asked, frowning.

  Rob put a hand on the teenager’s shoulder. “Well, son, I can’t be sorry for the day you were conceived because that turned out to be the only thing to keep me going during the dark days—these last few weeks changed my life. But, uh, let’s see. I guess I’m sorry for not giving Bear my obvious, undisputed athletic gift.”

  “Your humility, too,” Tennessee pointed out.

  “I’m glad for you, bro.” Rob shook my hand. “And thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For officially crowning me Fairhope’s newest hottest bachelor. Unless you have second thoughts and want to try to make it work again?” Rob winked at Tennessee.

  She pushed his chest away, laughing.

  “In your dreams, Gussman.”

  We made baby number two under the same bleachers where I got pregnant with Bear.

  It happened after we came back from eloping in Vegas (the thought of having a full-blown wedding made me want to throw up. Plus, I simply couldn’t take the chance Dalton and Jocelyn got an accidental invitation. I couldn’t stomach any more conversations about vaginal lip-lifts and foot fillers. And, I still had nightmares about that cruise and all the two-penis lies I’d spewed there).