She smiles warmly at my nickname for her, an oldie but goodie. “It was my pleasure, No-No,” she says, and I burst into laughter. Memories of her and me playing hide-and-seek in each other’s backyards warms my heart until my cheeks hurt from my smile. I miss those good old days, where the only real problem I had was after I stuffed worms down her dress and got a time-out for a week. Apparently it wasn’t gentleman-like…
“Ooooh, No-No on the No-No.” I shake my head furiously, and she smiles at me.
“I’ll punch you in the nose-nose if you don’t leave. Now.” He tenses up behind Liv, and she rolls her eyes in annoyance, ready to burst into a ball of flames and attack. A random image of Jack-Jack, the little baby that could turn into fire, from The Incredibles pops into my head. And it feels impossible to unsee it.
Anyway…
“Oh, I'm not scared of you, Grey. You get used to assholes with pent-up anger when you deal with Red Sylvetti.” Feeling extra brave, I put a hand on his shoulder. “Speaking of which, you better hope you didn’t lay a hand on her head. If you did…well, let’s just say the color red will be on these walls.” My smile drops and I squeeze harder and add, “If you ever go on a ‘road trip’ with my girl again, I will not hesitate to kill you, understand?”
Normally, I wouldn’t have said half of what I just said. I would have been intimidated by Grey, but I wouldn’t have threatened to kill him. He can lock his big, fat arm around my head, give one good squeeze, and I’d be hospitalized for a week. But having been around Red and the boost of confidence she seemingly injects into me each time she’s in my presence, the words come out easily.
The room is deadly silent, but I don’t regret what I said. If he did mess around with her in any way, I will not hesitate to rip his freaking tattoos off his skin and toss him in the Atlantic Ocean.
That isn’t too intense, right?
“Get your fucking hand off me before I throw your scrawny ass out of the window, spilling Red on the concrete,” he warns, promise lingering on his low tone. Beside me, Liv shivers, but I don’t remove my hand. In fact, I squeeze a little harder. I can take him on…for two point five seconds, but still!
“Okay, that’s enough of that. I’ll walk you out.” Liv rips my hand from his shoulder and guides me to the elevator, where she presses the button to go down. She’s shocked as she keeps glancing over at me to see if I’m still the Noah she mimed popular movies with last night, drunk on red wine. Two bottles to be exact. No wonder I have a head-splitting headache.
“Where did that come from?” she asks around an uneasy laugh.
The elevator doors prop open.
“Told you, from being with Red.” I wink at her, then enter the elevator. Grey appearing forlorn behind her back and her tired eyes glazing over are the last thing I see before the doors close.
But one thing I saw makes me feel hopeful about Red and me: the undeniable, colossal, never-ending love swirling beneath the exhaustion in her eyes. The relief washed over her face. However much she puts up this tough, exhausted front, she loves him. Through and through. And she doesn’t give up on him. Ever. Even when there were many, many, many times she should have…she didn’t.
She pushed through whatever obstacle and fought for him and their love that, admittedly, is kind of beautiful in a way. I want Red and me to have that: an unbreakable bond, a love that blossoms into something so strong, nothing can matter more than our love…I mean, our feelings toward each other. I plan to fight for us, not only because of how she makes me feel, but because each second that she isn’t in my arms, I go a little more insane.
***
The drive back to campus is uneventful but very thoughtful. I thought of ways to make Red see that she can trust me enough to talk to me. Whatever made her skip town took a toll on her. I saw it in her dull eyes and weak posture. I hate how I reacted, what I said, and I wish I could take it all back and just hold her. Sometimes words can be too much to speak into the world. But nothing can go wrong with a simple hug that lets the other person know that you are there for them no matter what.
I turn the truck onto the frat house’s block and plan to take a long, hot shower. Hopefully the tension and slight heartache will swirl down the drain. I park the truck and hop out, locking it behind me. I’m rubbing my groggy eyes, ready to just jump into my planned shower, then bed, when I feel my skin tingle and my chest tighten. I remove my hand and literally stop in my tracks because Red is sitting on the porch, shaking like a broken leaf, tears welled in her bright blue eyes. Shock fills me.
Sensing my stare, she looks up and her eyes seem to glaze over with warmth. But then she blinks rapidly and I walk closer. She gulps harshly before saying in a cracked voice, “My grandma died.”
And everything makes sense.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“Stay here,” I tell her, holding out a hand.
“W-what?” she stammers and looks up at me with red, puffy eyes.
“I said to stay here,” I repeat and walk over to her, bending down in front of her. She tries to cringe away, probably embarrassed to be openly crying in front of me in public. But I need her to know that she can without any type of judgment. “Don’t move a muscle, okay? Can you do that for me?” I keep my voice gentle to keep her calm, not to patronize her.
Instead of fighting me like she normally would, she nods slowly and sniffles. “Yeah, I g-guess,” she stammers, her voice chalky and raw. It sounds like it’s been dragged through the dirt for hours. Hours that could have been spent with me holding her as she poured her pain out to me. A pang of darkness grips my stomach, and I give her an assuring smile before rushing inside the house.
I jog up the stairs like my ass is on fire and prop open my bedroom door. I almost wrench it closed when I find Ty making out with some girl wearing a tiny devil costume. “Sorry,” I apologize and walk over to my bed. There’s a girl and a guy sleeping in my bed. Or, rather, the Scream guy and Tinkerbell. Kids all around the world must require therapy sessions after Halloween.
“No promemlbem,” Ty promptly grumbles into the blonde’s mouth. She giggles, finding it cute or stupid.
I drag the blanket off the weird couple, ignore their groans and reaching hands. I step back and pray they didn’t do anything under his cloak on my bed last night. This is the exact reason why I want it locked.
Burrowing my annoyance for a more convenient time, I close the door behind me. I rush down the stairs and bump into Mike. He seems to be the only one not dressed in some ridiculous costume, and sober. Which isn’t that surprising. He has more sense than to drink himself into a coma and pass out on the living room floor.
“Hey, did you know Red was sitting outside?” I ask him as I walk to the front door.
“Yeah. I tried to get her inside since it’s ass-freezing outside, but she said to fuck off and that she was waiting for you.”
“Really?” If she was waiting for me, then why didn’t she call me? Answer any of my calls and texts? I don’t understand that girl, but I think she’s in the mood to let me in on her peculiar mind right now.
“Yes, really.” He chuckles, and something short of amazement flashes across his brown eyes before he pads into the kitchen.
With one hand on the door, I smile broadly. Red came back here and just sat on the porch, waiting for me. Though she could have gone inside and waited for me to come back. She just sat here as if her mind was on a one-track mission to see me. The idea is heartwarming and a relief that I’ve cracked a tiny spot in her bloody hard shield. The crack may be tiny, but it’s a starting point.
“Sorry I took so long,” I apologize as I close the door behind me and sit beside her. “Scream and Tinkerbell were hogging my sheets…well, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.” I chuckle in an attempt to warm her up a little, but she just stares at the concrete below us. Feeling my heart yearn to just hold her, I gently wrap the blanket around her. I tuck stray tendrils of hair behind her small, red ears.
“We
should get you inside,” I tell her softly. Her skin is pale, enhancing the dark circles under her dull-blue eyes. “You’re freezing.”
“No,” she says after a moment of silence. She shakes her head slightly. “I’m fine here. I like the cold, actually.” I see a hint of a smile on her pale-pink lips. They’re cracked, and I want to run my tongue along them, moisture them. I want to kiss her cheek, bring some life to them. But all I can do is stare at her fluttering eyes and the shallow pace of her chest.
“I hate the cold,” I tell her, making conversation. “I prefer warm weather. The beach and a piña colada. A beautiful girl by my side.”
“IQ short of fifty your type?” she jokes, voice raspy.
“No.” I shake my head seriously. “Pure blue eyes and face piercings are more my type. It’d be a huge plus if she can ride the motorcycle.”
“You should really change your type, then…” She trails off and sniffles, wiping a shaky hand against her red-tipped nose. “Because I will break you, Noah. I’ll chew you up and spit you out and every other fucking cliché line there is.”
“Why would I do that, Red?”
“I just told you!”
“But I don’t care.” My voice is more stable than hers as it floats in the wind. Tears start to flow down her face. The urge to kiss her cheek wins, and I pull her into my chest and press my lips onto her cold, now-warming cheek. “Tell me what you went through. And FYI, I will never not be there for you. You just gotta learn to trust me. Please,” I whisper, my voice cracking, losing all stability. I can’t maintain control around her it seems.
She turns to look me in the eyes, and I grip her now-flaming hot cheek. I coax my thumb across her soft, red-patched skin, and it seems to yank down her protective walls, because she sighs and nods. “The call I got was from my sister who I told you about—Harley.” I nod, remembering how protective she looked when she spoke about her. “She—she told me Grandma was basically lying on her deathbed, and I…I just had to get out of there. I went straight to my job at the bar in Penn, and somehow I agreed to join Grey’s pursuit to wherever the hell he needed to go, and I was there when she…when she…” She stops and closes her eyes.
“I could have gone with you. All you had to do was say so.” I rub her shoulder, adding my body heat to the thick comforter. I want to give it all to her. I kiss her cheek some more, and she smiles and tickles my neck with her golden hair. “I would have swept you away.”
“Using what?” She laughs and looks up at me through her eyelashes. My heart stops beating for just a second, and I lean down to kiss her forehead. She cringes back…pauses, then leans into my lips. I smile at the action, at her trying. I appreciate it, I really do.
“Bus? Skateboard? Scooter?” I list off, and she’s a laughing mess. I watch her and end up chuckling myself. “Anything as long as I can take you to where you need. Funeral. Mall. Anywhere.”
“You shouldn’t waste your money on me.” She pushes her fingers through her hair, and her tone pisses me off. She thinks she isn’t worth it, but to me she’s worth every damn breath she steals from me.
“Why not? Would you just take it all and spend it on your millions of cats?”
“I don’t have cats,” she protests in a squealing tone that cracks me up. “Shut up. I’m serious. I’m not a cat lady!” She pushes at me, but I just sigh and place her head on my chest. I rub her head, ignoring her whining. She’s really the cutest non-cat lady I know.
“It’s okay, cat lady,” I shush her, and she pushes me. I hunch over in laughter, and it hurts my stomach so much. She just sits back, arms crossed, red cheeks puffy, cracked lips trying their best not to break into a smile. I lean back and gently, seriously look into her eyes.
“I’m just kidding with you,” I say.
“Right.” She looks miserable, but her eyes are gaining their brilliance back.
“You know what I’d do with my insanely large trust fund?” I joke, but not really. It is insane, but I won’t tell her that. She’d buy loads of cat food with it.
“What?” Her voice is lower, losing its humor, as I rub the tip of my nose against her cheek, brushing my lips against the corner of hers.
“I’d buy you a chest of blue diamonds just to see which would perfectly match your eyes,” I whisper, and she sucks in a breath. “Then I’d buy a bucket of pink pearls to find the shade of your lips.” I brush my fingers against her lips, and she gasps, her eyes falling shut. I pause to stare at her beautiful…everything. “And then I’d buy a million cans of tuna for your precious kittens.”
She laughs breathlessly as if falling back into Earth. “Shut uuuuup,” she groans and bangs her small hand on my chest. I grab it, slip mine in, and kiss her knuckles. There are scattered scars and bruises, and I kiss them again, wishing to wipe them clean. And to do what I exaggerated. I would do anything to see her smile…like she is right now.
“No.” I cup her face and look into her eyes; she tries to cower away, but I pull her closer, thumb her cheeks gently. “I want to be with you, Red. I don’t care in what context. I just want to be by your side, through thick and thin. I want to see you laugh. I want to see you groan. Feel you hit me—which I’m counting—so I can recount them with kisses.” A tear slides down her cheek, and I kiss it away but don’t pull away. “I. Just. Want. You.”
Her eyes are glossy and her lips quiver. I have never seen her like this before. It’s like she’s slowly breaking out of who I’ve seen her as: this tough biker chick who has warnings said about her. But she is so much more. She’s a Nirvana enthusiast. She apparently a cat-hater. She’s a damn good person to jump off roofs with. And she’s the girl I am madly in…like with.
“You don’t have to say anything back,” I rush to tell her, pulling back slightly. Maybe I’m overcrowding her, pressuring her. I don’t want to do that. “In the meantime, why don’t we just…I don’t know… sit here? If that’s cool with you?”
Sniffling loudly, she looks into my eyes. “Yes,” she says hesitantly.
“Great. Because I was going to hold you hostage on my chest, even if you said no,” I joke, and she punches my chest lightly before resting on me. I wrap the blanket around me, linking our feet together. Leaning back on the railing behind me, I hold her to me, almost cocooning her like an exotic butterfly I’m terrified to expose in the cold.
“But I don’t wanna stay here forever. I’m not helpless,” she says firmly. And even though I can’t see her face totally, I know her mouth is set in a line, a frown virtually creased on her forehead.
“No one ever said you were,” I hum and rub her back, listening to her contented purr. “There is something called assistance and friendship.”
She scoffs. “Friends? That’s what we are now?”
I raise a brow and lean over, peeking into her little nest. Bright blue eyes and red cheeks meet my eye, and I grin. “Are you saying you wanna go steady?”
Her small hand reaches out of her shell and pushes my face away while she chuckles. “I never said that, prep. Do not put words in my mouth.”
“Fine. I’ll put other things in there.” I wiggle my eyebrows, and she covers her mouth because she’s laughing so loudly, so freely, it tugs at my heartstrings.
“Don’t be gross. And just—” Her smile turns watery, and she rolls her eyes. “Just be here for me? Maybe? Without the steady thing?” Her voice lowers, and she chews on her lip ring. Fear and worry rustle around in her blue eyes. Like…like she’s afraid of her becoming vulnerable in front of me, and I’ll run away to the nearest “good girl.” But too bad, I’m already falling for this bad girl who’s wrapped in a blanket, looking up at me with humongous blue eyes and taut lip ring. There’s no going back now, I realize, and my heart skips once or twice…or thrice.
“I’m not going anywhere, Red.” I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “Promise…”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Red and I stay outside on the porch for about a century. I freeze my butt off and
want to jump in a fire to stay warm, but I never complain. How can I? I have Red in my arms and she finally opens up to me. After a while of delightful silence, she speaks to me about her grandma. She tells me she is a sweet old lady who left a big bowl of candy out on Halloween. And that should tell me enough about how kind and trusting she was of strangers, how she loved her and her sister dearly…at that she bursts into tears and asks me to take her inside.
Now I’m rustling out of a dream that included Red. She was dressed in a loose dress, standing in a field of sunflowers and dandelions. Her eyes were extra blue and her smile extra pink and hair extra gold. I want to stay longer, feel her soft skin press against my bare chest as I hold her to me. I don’t ever want to let her go. Ever. I’m sinking back into the sunny dream filled with her airy laughter when I feel another rustle. I thought it was just my imagination. But I guess not. Whatever’s waking me up better be damn important.
And she is.
My eyes open to find Red sitting on my legs, shifting a bit. She’s staring up at the mural of the town on the wall.
I’m so focused on how the moonlight brightens her eyes, makes a shadow on her cheeks, that I almost don’t notice what she’s wearing, or lack thereof. She’s wearing one of my plain white tees and no pants. She stole the shirt I was wearing when she thought I wasn’t looking before slipping under the sheets. I smirked to myself and didn’t say anything then, but seeing her now, hair disheveled and smoke billowing into her hair…I can’t stand to be silent.
“Enjoying what you see?” I ask her, my voice thick with sleep. I brush a hand over my untamed curls as I sit up against the headboard.
She doesn’t jump in shock at my voice, just nods, eyes darting across the wall. “Very much.” Her voice is husky yet silky at the same time. I spot a hand she’s using to prop herself up. I take it and kiss her palm. She finally looks at me and giggles, yanking at her hand, but I hold it firmly to my smile. “Stop,” she whispers.
Red: Burning Desire (Spectrum Series Book 7) Page 25