Red: Burning Desire (Spectrum Series Book 7)

by Allison White

  “Our last date was not shitty,” she says.

  I hesitate, biting the inside of my cheek. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” She’s laughing, but not in a mocking way. I watch uncertainly for a few moments until she notices my unease and stops us. We’re in front of a store that sells knick knacks and souvenirs. “Listen. Noah, no one has ever treated me the way you have. And I mean both date-wise and regular-wise. Ever. You…” She pinches her eyes and pauses, and I watch the words circle on her tongue. “You’re by far the best thing—best person—I have ever come across. Trust me when I say that I love what you do for me. And I love…I love…”

  “I know.” I stop her from continuing before she bursts into tears. I can see it from here, the demolition I wreck on the barrier she holds inside of her. She puts up a good front, but it isn’t strong enough to withstand my burning love for her.

  I want to lighten this kind of tense moment, however fused with love it is.

  My eyes flick to the empty shop behind her. “Want some souvenirs to remember our memorable second date?”

  She looks behind her, then back at me with bright eyes and a smile. “Hell yeah.” She grabs my hand and pulls me inside of the shop. I laugh at her high energy as she weaves us around the shop, under the watchful, but friendly, eye and commentary of the Asian man giving us facts about things she likes and things we should check out.

  A few things catch my eye, like a keychain with my name that lights up when I press a button, and an intricate starfish. When I come across a twirling stand of jewelry, I grab two specific ones with a victorious smile on my face.

  “All done, Red?” I call out to her as I’m at the cashier, pulling out my wallet.

  She turns from a wall of colorful penny skateboards. “Almost,” she calls back, and I nod. I’ll give her some more time.

  But while she browses, I have another idea. I have the man wrap one of the necklaces before she’s done. As he slips the boxed jewelry in a bag, my others in a tiny one, she walks over with a few minuscule things: a light blue jewelry box that’s shaped like a clam, obsidian earrings, and gray beanie with the words: FUCK EVERYTHING.

  I smile at her but remain silent.

  “What? I like beanies.”

  “I can tell.” I reach down and tug at the one she’s wearing, which is mine, by the way. She smacks my hand away but is grinning like the sun. I thank the man when he finishes ringing up our stuff and hands us our bags, grinning as he does so.

  “You two are a cute couple,” he compliments us.

  I flush. “Oh, we’re not…I mean that’d be great but…” I stammer over my words because I don’t know what the heck to say. My heart thunders as I begin to overthink. Thankfully, Red steps in, bids him a good night, then walks us out of the shop.

  “I’m sorry that I’m not ready to be a couple, Noah,” Red says as we’re walking down tall, winding stairs to get to the beach. It’s mostly empty since it’s mid-November, so I have no idea what’s pulling us toward it. But I thank the force because the moonlight on the water is breathtaking.

  She touches my arm. “Noah?”

  “Why can’t we just be a couple, Red?” I exclaim, and she sighs and looks at the ocean. “You just said I treated you better than any other guy you’ve been with.”

  “And I meant it,” she interrupts, exhausted.

  I grab her hands, stop us from walking. “Then why not just be an actual couple?”

  “It’s not that easy, Noah.” She looks away to try and ignore my probing eyes. I try to lock my gaze on hers, but she just won’t look at me.

  “Yes, it is,” I push.

  “It isn’t, though!” she snaps and yanks her hands away from me. They push into her hair, slipping off my beanie in the process. I watch with crinkled brows and a confused frown as she pushes the hat into her pocket and takes a step backward.

  “I don’t understand,” I say earnestly. I need to understand. I walk closer to her, and she moves to distance herself from me. But—goddamn it! I have had enough of the distance between us. So I close it and take her hands, and she finally looks into my eyes with a weary expression.

  “Because good things don’t…last in my life. Ever. When things get good, and I mean really good…I fuck up somehow. Or I mess it up myself because it just would never work. It never has before.”

  “You didn’t know me before,” I point out with a hopeful smile.

  She shakes her head, hands loosening; I tighten, and she breathes out like I’m frustrating her, but her voice doesn’t even raise when she speaks. “And I’m glad I didn’t because I would have fucked you over even worse. But now…now I’m still hurting you. I am going to hurt you.” She talks with finality that makes my heart flail desperately and wonder what happened to her that makes her resent commitment, relationships so much. Whoever or whatever made her this way, I want to punch it/whoever in the face.

  “You will not hurt me.” She sounds insane.

  “But I will. I—I will hurt you, Noah. And you don’t deserve it.” She pulls and pulls, but I keep her hands stapled with mine. She grunts and leans back. But I pull her closer to me, bodies flushed, and remove a hand to push escaped tendrils behind her ear.

  “You will not hurt me. I’m already in too deep. Whatever happens, I am sticking with you.” I smile from ear to ear and crinkle my nose, cupping her face, smooshing it a little. “So get used to it. Get used to me. Okay?” I need her to say yes. I need her back.

  She bites her lip and looks up at the sky, as if waiting for it to give her the correct answer, which is a definite yes. I stare at her taut lip ring and then her long, graceful neck. Without thinking, desperate to get her to see we’re right for each other, I bend down and splash some ocean water on her legs. She shrieks and jumps back like two steps and glares at me, with anger and confusion and infatuation. I favor the latter.

  “What the hell was that for?” she screams and stomps her foot. She looks like she pissed herself, the large wet spot on her upper thigh spreading through the dry parts.

  “Would one of your lame old flames still be alive after doing that?” I inquire.

  She points a finger at me. “You won’t be alive much longer.”

  “Really?” I lean down again and splash her again. It lands on her band t-shirt, and she shrieks. “How about now?”

  “You’re fucking dead, prep!” she claims.

  “I’m still breathing, Rossa.” I grin.

  Despite being pissed-mad, she races after me. Ducking and dodging her, I splash her from behind. Pretty sure I got her, I turn around and watch her gape at me, water splashed in her hair. Laughter bubbles out of my mouth, and I clap.

  “Classic!”

  “Your funeral will be classic! Come here!”

  “I’d rather not—oh shit! Mercy!”

  She runs after me with fury written all over her face. Instead of praying for my life, I laugh and continue to back splash her. I feel icy cold water splash on my back, and I definitely feel her pain. But that doesn’t stop me from retaliating. Splash after splash, we get each other soaked and are laughing like we’re high on stolen laughing gas. People stop to stare, some smiling, some grimacing, none experiencing the pure joy I am.

  Her laughter is contagious, and so is her smile, and her closed eyes are pure bliss. I kiss her several times before splashing her with a kick. Each time she draws in for a sucker kiss before I surprise her. I twirl her around and splash and splash, and she splashes back with twice the amount of ferocity.

  I grab her waist and twirl her around, savoring her laughter and her resistance. I put her down and kick some sand at her. Her hands fly up to protect her face, but she’s too slow and some gets on her jacket. Giving me I’m-going-to-murder-you eyes, I turn on my heels and she chases me around the empty beach. My legs burn and her screams are patchy as we run, but she doesn’t ask to stop, nor do I.

  We continue this playful chase and splashing and sand-throwing, until we grow e
xhausted and fall on our butts in the sand up near the patches of grass underneath the boardwalk. Our heavy breathing and the soft waves of the amused ocean fill my eardrums, and I can’t stop smiling. My cheeks physically runs on fire, and so do my lungs.

  I fall back and tuck my hands under my head. “I think it’s safe to guess we can’t ride back in your car like this?” I say and make one move, causing a squishing sound to ripple underneath my soaking pants. My toes are numb, and goosebumps cover my arms.

  “Got that right.” She drops her head on my chest. I like the pressure of her head against me. My body equalizes and feels complete. Finally, in my nineteen years of living, I’m complete. I close my eyes and rub her back gently.

  “I think there are a few hotels around,” I say in suggestion.

  She takes a while to respond. “Okay.”

  I peek an eye open; she’s biting her thumb, staring faraway. “We don’t have to do anything. We can even get separate beds, rooms, if you want.” I don’t want to make her feel pressured or anything.

  Her eyes gaze up at me through her lashes. “No, no—that’s fine.” She breaks into an easy-going smile. “That’d be perfect actually.”

  “Great,” I said, relieved. “We could go now.” I begin to push up, but she quickly presses me back down. “Red?”

  “Just…not yet. Can we stay here for a bit longer?” she asks with wide eyes.

  “Yeah, yeah—of course. I’d be happy to.” I lay back down and continue to lazily draw patterns on her back. She relaxes into me and breathes heavily. I love this. Her. How easy it is for her to melt into me like I am her resting place, her home. What she probably doesn’t know is she’s my home too.

  And then she’s staring up at the stars.

  And I’m staring at her.

  Most people look to the sky for stars; I just have to look at her.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  When the wind gets too strong for us to stay any longer, we hike back to the top of the boardwalk, heading in the direction of the nearest hotel. It is about ten minutes away, but we walk fast enough to reach before we freeze into popsicles. People stare in shock and confusion, but I am too busy smiling at my Red to even notice much. And she knows I am staring because she nudges me a few times with red cheeks, embarrassed.

  If she’s embarrassed now, then just imagine if she could read my thoughts of painting her face with my kisses before worshipping her. Because she deserves to be looked at as a goddess, I think before I am embarrassed by myself, by how head over Converse I am for this girl.

  The Crescent Hotel’s interior is standard, not the fancy stature I’ve been used to most of my life. Actually, all of my life. You’d think being able to order all the room service a little kid desired and being alone to watch movies and bounce on the beds would curb my burning need for the love of my parents, their attention. But no. Even then, I wasn’t enough and didn’t get their attention for more than two seconds. I was accustomed to hotels because of my father’s frequent business affairs and conferences.

  So why am I nervous to share a room with Red?

  I wave the confusion question away as we reach the front desk. A young woman with platinum blonde hair and a perky attitude greets me.

  She waves at us. “Hello, welcome to the Crescent Hotel!”

  “Hello, Crystal.” I read the name off her name tag.

  Red’s silently glaring at her.

  “Anyway, can we get one room, a king? Or—or double?” I look over at Red and nudge her to get her attention. “Still sure about the one bed?”

  She smiles softly as an emotion crosses her eyes. “Yes, very sure. Now book it and stop asking me if I’m sure.”

  “Okay, okay—put away the claws.” I hand Crystal my card, and Red anxiously bites her lip. I take her hand and rub the back of it, drawing her eyes to mine. “Hey, you all right?” My voice is low so no one but us can hear. There’s a couple with children behind us, and their look of disapproval of our soaked and sandy appearance is loud and clear. The kids hide behind their parents’ legs.

  “Nothing,” she tries, but I give her a look, and she caves with a sigh. “You’re just such a gentleman. Sometimes I think you’re too sweet, like you’re gonna go all Voldemort on me at some point.”

  I gasp theatrically and look around. “Shhh!”

  “Why?”

  “You’re not supposed to say his name out loud or he’ll appear,” I whisper and hear one of the kids laugh. I wave at her before their mom pulls her behind her thigh. I wave at her too and chuckle when she blushes, causing her husband to glare at me.

  “See? You even have bitchy moms falling for you,” Red says with a pout.

  “Don’t worry, babe, no one can steal me away from your clutches.” I wink at her, and she growls. I just chuckle and look at Crystal, who’s trying to get my attention.

  “Who is the room under?” she asks politely.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Wells,” I tell her, and she awws, murmuring “newlyweds” before typing in the computer.

  “Noah,” Red hisses under her breath.

  “I know.” I hold up a hand. “Just let me live in my fantasy bubble for a bit. Please.” I sound pathetic, but I want so much more with this girl. I’m not upset she isn’t jumping for more, but I want to bask in the idea of it. “Sorry,” I say quickly, accepting our room key.

  “No, I’m sorry,” she says, head hanging as I walk us to the elevator. It’s closing, but I quickly stick a foot out before it does. I slip inside and press the floor our room’s on. Then I face her and cup her face, despite the few people in the car with us.

  “Do not be sorry. I meant it when I said to take your time, think. I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon,” I tell her honestly. “I was stupid to play around like that. Don’t mind me if I act too pushy. I’m not used to being told no.”

  Her eyes widen. “What? You’re spoiled? I never saw that coming.”

  “Shut up.” I lean down and kiss her, saying screw it to PDA. This girl makes me break rules from left to right. And I just need to kiss her lips. It’s been a while, and she’s my own personal dose of perfection. If I stick around her any longer, I’ll overdose. But I. Just. Can’t. Get. Enough.

  “Get a room,” a douche in a gray suit says behind us.

  The elevator slows down. I plan on ignoring him, but Red has other plans.

  “That’s the plan; we’re in a hotel, dumbass,” Red snaps, lip snarling. “Come on, Noah. Let’s go have rough, wild, passionate sex, while this loser jacks off to pay-per-view porn.” She blows her tongue at him like a child before yanking me out of the elevator. His dropped jaw and the elderly couple snickering are the last things I see before the doors close.

  “Wow, Red,” I cough out.

  “I didn’t mean it; I just got pissed,” she explains, hostility clear in her tone.

  “I know.” I raise my hands defensively.

  We stop in front of our room, and I watch her in amusement. Call me weird, but I adore when she blows up. She looks like an adorable pepper bursting into flames, with rainbows dancing around her gleaming blue eyes.

  “Stop with the staring, prep,” she murmurs hastily.

  I chuckle. “Okay.” I raise my eyes, and she sighs. I laugh some more but attempt to calm her down by kissing the top of her hair. Sighing again, but more relaxed, she jams the key in the slot and pushes it open. The room is large enough, with the king bed in the center, two bay windows, and a study desk.

  I follow her inside and instantly kick off my shoes. I desperately need a shower. She obviously wants the same, as she’s down to her bra and panties by the time I slip off my t-shirt. My eyes travel down to her slim stomach and wide curvy hips, before she catches me, and I look away with heated cheeks.

  “Mind if I go first?” she asks, thankfully not calling me out for checking her out.

  “Um, no—course not. Go ahead.” I gesture to the bathroom and turn around…to nothing. There’s just a dresser and a mini fridge. I
drop in front of the fridge to keep my eyes away from her. If I see her toned, tanned body…oh God, I’m already harder than a calculus test!

  “Well, all right then.” I hear the mockery in her voice, then the door shut.

  Huffing out in relief, I raise to my feet. To pass the time as she showers, I sit on the floor to avoid getting the pristine sheets dirty and pull out my nearly dead phone. Damn. I wish I’d brought my charger. Maybe she has a portable one? Doubt it, but anyway, I check my messages while I still have some juice left.

  In total, there are seven missed calls from both of my parents, a few check-in texts from Ty and Mike, and a worried voicemail from Rachel. It takes me about twenty minutes to get to them. I reply to them all, except for my parents. They can suck a raw egg. Rachel was nervous about Red suddenly showing “ugly colors,” but I assure her that the date went extremely well and that I’m now staying in a hotel since we’re both too beat to go back and just want to crash.

  I’m really glad for tonight. I got to see more of Red’s rocker chick façade, and I loved every second of it. I can still clearly picture her face during a song called “R U Mine?” How blissful she looked through another and pulled me into random dance sessions. My heart pumps to the energized rhythm it felt just hours before.

  I’m smiling to myself and imagining her soft laughter when Alex made a funny joke between song changes, when his voice sounded more feminine, less British…y?

  I open my eyes to find Red staring at me with an amused smile.

  “Enjoying yourself, weirdo?” she says.

  “Very much.” I smile back and push to my feet. Call me crazy, but she seems stiff when I brush past her to enter the bathroom. I stop before entering and lean back to her weird expression. “You all right?”

  “Yeah.” Her voice is off, so she clears it and nods. “Yep. Everything’s fine…” But she looks like someone’s holding her hostage and is telling her to act normal.

  Okay…

  “Okay,” I voice my thoughts, watch her, then enter the bathroom. That was weird, I think to myself as I drop my jeans and boxers.