by Lori Ryan
He didn’t want her anymore. Had she waited too long?
Before she could respond he was behind her, his arm around her waist, his warm breath against her neck. “That’s not what I mean,” he whispered. “Christ, I want you so much it hurts.”
He pressed his hips into her behind, and his erection proved the truth of his claim. She squirmed against him in response, and maybe a little in the desperate hope she could convince him to come upstairs with her.
“Sophie,” he warned in a chilling tone.
“Sorry.” She smiled.
He chuckled. “Yeah right.”
She took a step onto one of the stairs and turned to face him. They were almost eye to eye. “I just want to be with you, Grant.”
“I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow when you’re not high on your Monopoly win and snowfall dance. I don’t want to take advantage of the situation, Sophie.”
She laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’m taking advantage of you. I’m the one literally dragging you up the stairs.”
“Trust me, you’re not taking advantage of me. I want this, I just need to make sure it’s for the right reasons.”
She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want this to be a one-time thing, Sophie. I don’t want it to be goodbye.” His voice broke on those words but he kept going. “I want you back.”
She wanted that too, or at least she thought she did until Grant had burst their magical bubble.
“Ah, fuck it,” he said. Before she could protest, he scooped her up in his arms and bolted up the remaining steps.
“Grant,” she squealed as he unceremoniously dumped her on the bed.
He kicked off his boots, and that one lone sock, and stood over her in nothing but boxer briefs. His body so sculpted and powerful, her mouth went dry. His hazel eyes were darker tonight and half lidded, his lips parted as his broad chest rose and fell. No wonder women all around the world had pictures of him half-naked on their bedroom walls. And tonight, she had the real thing. There were worse things than falling in love with your husband, she thought.
“Sophie,” he said, the rough timbre of his voice sending goose bumps along her flesh.
“Yes?”
“I don’t want a divorce.”
She swallowed. Neither did she and yet the signed papers were just a few feet away from them. Her eyes darted to the side table before returning to him.
“What is it?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing. Just…nervous.”
His gazed trailed her from head to toe before coming to rest on her face. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His voice was so full of reverence and awe she nearly wept. “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you. And I’ll be in love with you for the rest of my life.”
She swallowed heard, willing away her tears.
“I let you down,” he said. “I don’t deserve another chance, but I’m asking anyway. No matter what you decide, Soph, I’ll always love you.”
Her eyes burned with tears. She’d always known Grant loved her, even though he’d abruptly left her after the last miscarriage. What had been a problem was their demanding careers and their lack of time together and communication, all of which he was offering up now. What she couldn’t help but wonder now was whether he had changed enough to be there for her in the future. Would he be strong enough to stay with her if they faced heartache again?
She didn’t have answers, but for just one night, she didn’t want to feel alone anymore. Sliding her sweater up and off her body, she tossed it to the floor. She lay flat against the bed, breasts exposed, her chest heaving with desire, and fear. “I love you too, Grant.”
There was more that needed to be said, she knew that, but not now. Not tonight.
He pressed her legs apart and knelt with one knee on the bed, bracing himself above her with a hand on either side of her. “Do you love me enough? Enough for us to try again?”
Did she? Unable and unwilling to answer, she slid her hands along his bare chest and around his shoulders, gripping the nape of his neck and bringing his mouth a breath away from hers. She couldn’t give him an answer. He would have to either take what she could offer tonight or not.
Grant slid one hand under her neck and tilted her head, deepening the kiss.
She moaned into his embrace, her hands gliding around the smooth muscles of his shoulders and down his back.
Grant pressed his hips into the valley of her legs and she bucked up to meet him. Their lovemaking had always been amazing, breathtaking, explosive, something she’d never experienced before. Tonight was no different.
Her body was wound so tightly with need for him she feared she might explode. “Grant,” she panted. “Please.”
He pulled back and stared down at her. “Yes, Mrs. Sumner? What can I do for you?”
Her eyes went wide at the use of her married name but she forced herself not to overreact.
“Sophie?” he questioned, doubt creeping into his voice.
Obviously she hadn’t done a good job.
“Please, Grant,” she repeated.
He smiled, his head moving lower as he drew one nipple into his mouth.
A heated spark rippled down her body like a live wire, shooting straight between her legs. “Oh,” she cried out, nearly coming from that one sensitive touch.
She pressed her hips into his, seeking relief from the throbbing ache deep within her body.
Grant moved away, robbing her of the friction she needed.
“Darn it, Grant,” she sputtered.
He laughed. “You can’t even talk dirty in bed.” He trailed kisses across her chest and sucked in the other nipple. The teasing was going to kill her with anticipation. But it would be a wonderful way to go.
“Lift,” he said, pressing his hands under her hips.
She planted her feet on the bed and raised herself up.
Grant slipped his fingers into the waistband of her leggings and gently pulled them down and off, along with her panties.
She tried not to cover herself, self-conscious that she was laying on the bed, naked and vulnerable in front of him. They’d made love hundreds of times but this felt different, this interaction was new, intense, like there was more at stake than just a physical release.
“Beautiful,” he said as he sank down to his knees.
Oh, butter biscuits, he was going there, she thought.
He dragged her to the edge of the bed, pressing his large hands to the inside of her thighs. With aching slowness, he pushed her legs farther apart and kissed the tender skin of her inner thigh.
She sank back onto the bed, her eyes fluttering closed as she waited for the pleasure only Grant had been able to give her. His lips touched her sensitive skin and she gasped. “Oh, Grant.”
He delved further, adding his tongue to the mix as he pushed her toward the edge of release, driving her crazy.
Her fingers slid into his thick hair as she guided him, not that he needed any instruction, the man was a master. She moaned when he pulled away, lifting her head.
He was staring up at her, his hazel eyes wide and so full of love, her chest contracted making it hard to breath. “Tell me you love me, Sophie.” His words were so earnest, so desperate that she couldn’t have said anything else.
“I love you,” she whispered, lifting up and stroking his jaw, rubbing a thumb across his cheek.
He turned and kissed her palm, a huge smile spreading across his face as he pulled away and sank back down, burying his face between her legs.
Oh, holy moly, this was good. She fell back onto the bed again with a muffled groan, the exquisite pleasure of his tongue and mouth driving her insane. Without thought, she pressed her hips upward, her thighs squeezing together as the light tingle of arousal in her thighs turned to a full-fledged electrical current arcing through her entire body. She was close, so close.
“Let go,” he said, the words a command.
A
s though her body responded to the order, she did, her muscles spasming as she shouted out his name in a string of incoherent words. She pushed at his head as he continued to devour her, the sensations so overwhelming they bordered on painful but he wouldn’t relent until she was completely sated and spent.
Her body boneless and flushed, she sagged onto the bed, one hand covering her eyes as she fought for breath. The bed dipped next to her but she didn’t have the energy to look at him.
His hand wrapped around her wrist and he lifted her arm. “You alive in there?”
She turned to stare at him, finding his eyes bright with mischief, his grin wide and glorious.
“Barely,” she said, brushing her thumb along his bottom lip. “You almost killed me.”
He kissed her temple. “Sorry.”
She shook her head. “I don’t believe that for a minute.”
He chuckled, the sound causing another wave of desire to fire through her body.
“True,” he grinned, a look of pure masculine satisfaction on his face.
She rolled on top of him, pinning his arms above his head as she leaned in and nipped his lower lip with her teeth. “But you’re going to be.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Grant smiled as he stared up into Sophie’s playful eyes, trying to forget the fact that her naked breasts were mere inches from his mouth.
“What are you going to do now, Mrs. Sumner?” He purposely used her married name to see what her reaction would be. Last time she’d stiffened but this time she just smiled.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. Day?”
He laughed at the title. At their wedding, they’d joked about whose name they would take, considering how famous they both were, not that it mattered to either of them. He’d been thankful when she’d signed the marriage certificate and set up their joint account as Sophie Day Sumner.
“Actually, I would,” he said, “I’d like to know in great detail what you’re going to do to me now.” He lifted his head and took one pert nipple into his mouth.
“Ah,” she moaned, pressing her chest against him.
He swirled his tongue around the peak, loving the taste of her. He’d never been with a woman who drove him into a sexual frenzy as fast and intensely as Sophie had.
They had a physical connection beyond anything he’d ever experienced but it was the emotional connection they’d once had that he missed. That bond was what he’d allowed to break down in the past. He didn’t know if they could get back to that place of true intimacy, but it felt like their time in the cabin was starting to bring them closer.
She pulled back, his mouth popping free from her breast as she stared down at him. Her long blonde hair fell against his face.
He raised his hands and pushed it back, studying her face. She was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her, inside and out. Sophie was courageous and brave, strong and determined, so much so that he often felt inadequate standing next to her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I didn’t think you needed me,” he blurted out.
She stiffened in his arms. “What?”
“When we lost the babies. I mourned too, Sophie. I don’t think you ever got that. I wanted you to need me, to want to be there through it all together, but you seemed so closed off and I didn’t know how to help you.”
Her eyes were wide as she studied him.
“You look surprised,” he said. “Did you think I wasn’t upset?”
“I guess I just thought, well, you left so quickly that I figured it was no big deal to you.”
“Of course it was a big deal, it was huge for me. I mourned, but in my own way. I didn’t want to burden you with my own heartache when you were going through so much. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t help you.”
“Grant,” she whispered.
He pushed on, knowing he needed to open up. “When I couldn’t figure out some way to make the pain go away for you, I felt like less of a man. Like I wasn’t good enough. And then when it happened again, the only way I could forget about my own pain of failing you, and the pain of losing another baby, was to dive back into work.”
She tilted her head, genuine curiosity on her face. “What do you mean, failing me?”
“I couldn’t give you the one thing you wanted most, a family.”
“Grant, it was me who couldn’t carry the babies, not you. I’m the one who felt like a failure.” Tears glistened in her eyes.
He caressed her cheek, stopping the tears threatening to fall. “You’ve never been a failure.”
“I have been at that, at the one thing that mattered most to us.” She choked back a sob.
He wrapped her body into his and held on tightly, knowing she needed the release. He kissed the top of her head as she nestled into his arms, settling her head against his shoulder.
“Oh, Soph, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“I did need you,” she said, her words muffled against his chest. “I do. I need you so much it hurts. I just…”
“What?”
“I’m scared to need you so much.”
He smiled, completely understanding.
“Sometimes I wonder if I’m enough for you,” she said, “if one day maybe you’ll get tired of being with a small-town girl who really just wants to write songs and have a family.”
Grant laughed. “I’ll never get tired of you, babe. And, I hate to break it to you but you’re a lot bigger presence in the world than you know.”
“I do know. And I’m tired of that life. I need a break.” She glanced up at him. “It seems like you’re not in the same place as me, though. Like you need all the chaos and attention. I tolerate it, but it seems like you crave it.”
Grant thought about her words. It was something he and his therapist had talked about a lot lately. “You’re right. I did crave it.”
She raised up and stared down at him. “Did?”
He rolled her off of him, onto their sides as he stared at her intently. “When you left me, Soph, something inside me just broke. I hit rock bottom, lost everything.”
She reached out a hand and placed it on his arm, rubbing soothing circles.
“But I think that was a good thing.” He continued. “I think I needed that. I was selfish, I worried more about what people thought of me than about the kind of person I really was. I let the opinions of people who didn’t give a shit about me matter. And then there was you, hurting and broken, and I didn’t know how to help. So I ran away, trying to lick my own wounds without helping you. I truly thought leaving you was for the best.”
She watched him closely, as if trying to absorb everything he was telling her.
He took a deep breath. “I’m changing though, for me first and foremost. I have to or I’ll lose everyone I love.” He glanced down, afraid to go on, afraid of what she would say.
She took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers, giving him a gently squeeze.
“I have to brace myself for the fact that I might lose you.” Afraid he may totally break down, he averted his gaze, staring at their joined hands. “You might actually sign those divorce papers, I really have no control. If you do, it’s going to gut me in a way I can’t imagine, but I have to accept it if that’s what you choose. I can’t let it break me. Not again.”
“Grant,” she said quietly.
His gaze moved to meat hers. “I’m learning to be a better person, Soph, a better son, a better brother, a better friend, for me. But most of all, I’m learning to be a better husband, I hope for you.”
Tears welled in her eyes and ran down her face. He felt the sting of his own tears, barely held back.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispered, releasing her hand and wiping her cheeks.
She gently cupped his face, coming forward to brush her lips against his. He was surprised when she deepened the kiss.
“Sophie,” he whispered.
“I don’t want to give up on us. I don’t know if we can make it wor
k, but I’m not ready to walk away. I want to find a way to get back to what we once had. To make it better, stronger. I want you, Grant. All of you.”
“Big ego and all?” he smiled.
“Yes.” She laughed, rolling on top of him. “Big ego, big personality,” she pressed into his growing erection, “big everything.” She dug her fingers into his hair and gripped him tightly as her mouth possessed his.
His hands wandered down her smooth back as he cupped her ass, spreading his legs and pressing her against him.
“Oh,” she moaned. “I need you.”
His heart tripped in his chest at the words he’d longed to hear for almost a year.
“Inside me,” she whispered.
He pulled her face back. “I don’t have any protection.”
She straddled his hips. “There are condoms in the nightstand.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
“Sally.” She smirked.
“Oh, God, please do not say more.” He didn’t want to think about his Aunt Sally in that way.
Grant slipped from beneath her and opened the drawer.
“No,” she practically shouted, lurching for his hand to stop him. “They’re in the cabinet underneath. I’ll get them.”
He stared at her, his eyes narrowed as he watched her roll out of the bed.
She knelt and opened the door underneath the drawer. Rummaging inside for a few moments, she pulled out a small box filled with condoms and set it on the table. “Here,” she said, standing, holding up one condom.
Staring at her naked body, her eyes expectant, breasts rising and falling with each breath, all the uneasiness he’d felt fled. He looped his thumbs into the waistband of his briefs and tugged them down his legs then smiled when he caught her scanning his body. Her eyes finally found his, her pupils dilated, her heated gaze nearly melting him.
“You still look so good, Grant,” she whispered, swallowing hard.
He pulled back the covers and dropped them to the floor. “Lie down,” he said, watching intently as she crawled onto the bed and rolled to her back.
She extended one hand above her head, the other reaching for him as she fell back onto the pillows.