“You’ll owe him,” Dillon said matter-of-factly.
“Yep, but she’s worth it.” Dillon grunted. “Speaking of women, how’s Annie—” Dillon shot me a ‘don’t go there’ glare, as if that would deter me. “You get your act together and ask her out yet?”
“Guess I had that coming after my little Emily tirade, huh?” asked Dillon, and I nodded. “Well,” Dillon stood up and stretched, “hope the suspense doesn’t kill you, ‘cause I have no intention of sharing my love life with you.” He was out the door promptly following that. Love life, huh, the use of the word ‘love’ surprised me. Annie was cute, intelligent and strong, her kid Eli was a good boy, but I didn’t realize Dillon was seeing the package as a ‘love’ life. He liked the girl-next-door type, and although he wasn’t exactly a love em’ and leave em’ type, he had racked up more one night stands than steady relationships. Perhaps that was why he was dragging his feet where Annie was concerned, she was a commitment. I had no doubt he’d figure it out, Dillon was good with puzzles, and for the time being I had got my cousin out of my business. It was just too easy.
***
Awake, showered and dressed half an hour after the sun had risen, I stopping by Emily’s door and pressed my ear against it, listening. Silence greeted me, so I assumed she was still asleep and left her alone to grab some breakfast. I would deliver Emily to her sister today, and by nightfall I would be on a jet with my team. The thought of leaving Emily behind sent a bolt of fear right to my gut. Dillon would protect her, Larz was going to be her round the clock shadow and I knew he would give his life for her; it was the only reason I was able to pry myself away. My mood had soured at the thought of leaving Em. She was not going to take it well, it was going to be an ugly scene and I hated ugly scenes. The small piece of my heart that was yet untainted by blood and death wanted nothing more than to stay with her and help her overcome the damage instilled by the monster Levier, but the need to make her life safe was overpowering. And while walking away would be hard, it wouldn’t be as hard as burying my feelings for her while she found her space to heal. The need to dominate her and see her beautiful submissive nature blossom under my hands was powerful, so yeah, I needed to walk away from Emily Donovan. The sun was high in the sky and Em still hadn’t made an appearance, we needed to get moving. I tapped gently on her door before entering.
“Em?” I called out as I walked into the room. Any further words were stuck in my throat. A gloriously naked Emily was sitting in her submissive resting pose on the floor by her bed. Her feminine figure drew my eye. She was beautiful, even with the scars that laced her skin. The long arch of her neck looked delicate as her head dipped in an obedient manner. Her breasts weren’t large, but they were a palm full and sat high on her chest with dusty pink nipples. A petite waist tapered to the slight flare of her hips and that perfectly rounded ass would look stunning with my palm printed on the cheek. My hands trembled with the need to touch her. Squeezing my eyes shut I locked down that desire and reached for the impassive, cool male that I needed to be right now. She’d slipped and was back into her submissive role that Jonas forced upon her. It pissed me off, the fury of what this man had done to this human being filled me with the ice, cold façade I needed. Once I felt in control, my eyes snapped open.
“Em, please stand up.”
She stood with her eyes still downcast. I willed myself to keep my eyes above her chest as I moved forward and placed a finger under her chin to lift her gaze to mine. Being able to see one’s eyes and facial expressions was my key to reading people. Women especially wore their emotions in their eyes and on their faces. Emily was good at hiding hers, but I saw through her disguise. Right now, Emily’s eyes held confusion.
“Get dressed, Malen’kaya. I left a shirt for you late last night, put it on and the shorts from yesterday.” My command was brisk and lacked the affection I had been showing her. Standing back I waited while she quickly dressed. Obedience was not a problem for Emily; it was one of the most significant marks Jonas had left on her. “Do you need to use the bathroom?” She shook her head. “Follow me.”
Before she left the room, she quickly ran back to the bed and slipped a piece of paper out from under her pillow. I recognized it immediately as the new mantra I had written for her. It warmed my heart to know she still had it. One day soon, I hoped the words would be repeated with conviction and eventually the need to keep it gone.
In the kitchen, Larz handed me a plate of toast. “Sit,” I commanded, and she went to kneel. “On the chair, Em,” I corrected her, my voice terse.
The nervous sidelong glance she cast me just added fuel to the flames. I was angry, but not at her. Even though I was trying hard not to come across as abrupt, my dark mood was making it difficult. Now she was feeling uncomfortable with me and I hated it, yet it would make our separation that much easier. Once I fed her a single slice of toast, I led her and Larz to the garage. My Corvette sat sorrowfully still and quiet. Dillon drove it every now and again to keep the motor in top condition, but I doubt he really pressed the pedal and let her purr like I knew she could. Dillon drove a fully restored 1969 Chevrolet that packed one hell of a V8 under the hood. He wasn’t afraid of a little speed. What bothered him was the exuberant price tag attached to the hood. I moved across the garage and opened the back passenger door of the much more conventional SUV. Emily slid in and I closed the door behind her. Once settled in the driver’s seat, I noticed Larz’s wistful stare at the Corvette.
“You ever driven one before?”
“When exactly would an ex-navy SEAL be seen in something like that?” He chuckled.
“Next week. Dillon will give you the keys. She needs to be run often to keep the oil and fuel from going bad.”
Larz grinned. “You trusting me with your pride and joy?”
“I’m trusting you with her,” I nodded towards Emily, “and she’s more important,” I murmured. Larz’s face became serious. “Just make sure Dillon is with her when you take it for a spin. Don’t leave her alone, not even for a minute.”
“I should be offended by that, but I know you’re a little worried right now which has clearly affected your brain. I will protect her as if she’s my own.”
I didn’t like that Larz had referred to Emily as his, not one little bit. I almost growled out loud like an angered beast. Gripping the steering wheel tightly we moved through the tall gates that separated my property from the street beyond. Glancing in the rearview mirror I checked on Emily who watched out the window, an impassive expression on her face. She would have heard my conversation with Larz just now. Whatever feelings it evoked she masked well with a blank stare.
Chapter 11
EMILY
Rubbing my fingers with frantic and nervous anticipation I kept my gaze on the world outside, seeing everything but nothing at the same time. My posture was uncomfortably tense, and my heart was thumping so fast and so loud it echoed in my ears. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scream, cry or laugh. Mой kept glancing at me through the rearview mirror and I avoided his gaze. If we locked eyes, I knew I would lose any resemblance of composure, and I was still feeling a little unsure of the kiss we had shared last night. Mой still seemed angry and I wondered if it was because of the kiss. He had spoken to Larz as if he were going somewhere. Last night he said we would take this slow, that I could look over my old home and then decide where I wanted to stay. I already knew I wasn’t going to stay with ‘B’. I wanted to stay with Mой.
The passing homes and suburbs became so familiar it almost hurt to look. It was a reminder of what my life used to be. Back when my soul felt lighter and I could smile. Closing my eyes I blocked out the familiar homes and streets; I didn’t want to be reminded of those times. I wanted my mind to be blank—no thoughts, no wants, no pain. So consumed in the need to escape myself, I didn’t realize the car had stopped moving. My door was opened and I felt a warm breeze blow through my hair, tickling my ears.
“Come on, Malen’kaya.” M
ой’s deep, gravelly voice whispered over my skin. “Rebecca needs to see you. She needs to know that you’re alright.”
My eyes opened. “I’m not sure I will ever be alright, Mой.”
His eyes gentled and the anger that he had been wearing was gone. “Just having you here will be enough.”
Finally, I dragged my gaze away from his and took in the house. I didn’t recognize it. It was bigger, much bigger. It had a second story and a long sweeping porch. The tiny house I had grown up in was gone, something unfamiliar and foreign now sat before me.
“Renovations, remember?” Mой whispered.
I nodded, woodenly. When the front door burst open and B raced out I froze.
“Come on,” Mой softly encouraged me. He was talking to me as if I was a child, and I guess I deserved it. I was acting a little like one.
“I don’t want her to touch me,” I breathed, slightly panicked.
“She knows, Malen’kaya. I already told her you are not comfortable with being touched.”
I allowed Mой to pull me from the car and followed mechanically on numb legs as I watched my sister. She looked just as beautiful as ever. Her hair was styled artfully into an elegant do. She was wearing a pair of black capris with a red and white checker top tied at the waist, exposing a sliver of pale skin beneath. She was perfect, like a star that sat in the night sky and outshone all others. There was no way I would taint such beauty with the sins of my past. A tall muscular figure appeared behind her—Charlie. He looked solemn and wary as he stood at my sister’s back. Mой led me up the stairs, and it was only then I noticed Larz standing on my other side, an overnight bag in his hand. Was he going somewhere?
“Em,” B whispered, tears falling freely down her pale cheeks.
“Hi.” I nodded, not sure of what more I could say. It seemed like such a pathetic attempt at casual conversation that I immediately clamped my lips shut. My sister smiled though and reached for Charlie’s hand in what I assumed was a silent plea for strength or comfort. Comfort I could not offer her.
“Maybe we should take this inside,” suggested Mой.
Charlie stood aside and B led us into the house. Everything was different, which was good, and at the same time, it wasn’t. I didn’t need the constant reminder of how my life was, but the home felt so different I didn’t feel a part of it. The once tiny living room that you walked into from the front door was now huge. It led into a large and modern kitchen, and even bigger dining room. The same old floral fabric couch that belonged to Grandma sat in front of the fireplace looked to be in pristine condition.
“Are you alright?” B asked, dragging my gaze away from the new interior. I looked to her concerned gaze and noticed she was staring at my bandaged feet. Too nervous to answer I began my inspection of the house.
“She’s fine, just some cuts,” Mой answered for me.
“Coffee’s on, who’d like some?” asked Charlie, moving to the kitchen.
“None for me, thank you,” responded Mой.
“I’ll take a cup. Black,” said Larz.
All eyes settled on me. Did I want coffee? I hadn’t had coffee in years, it made me jittery and Master Jonas didn’t like me drinking it. I looked to Mой for help. He simply shrugged, offering nothing but a silent challenge to handle this on my own.
“Coffee makes Em hyper. She prefers juice. There is some in the fridge, could you get her a glass please, Charlie?”
I looked to B, surprised she remembered. She gave me another easy smile and I wished I could give her one back. I couldn’t though, so instead I nervously avoided her gaze. Larz disappeared, likely checking out the house and surrounding property. Mой chatted easily with Charlie, and I stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room.
“You want to see your room?”
My eyes snapped to my sister’s. My room? As in my old room? Or was Mой going to leave me here? He had said I could look around and decide for myself. I looked to Mой, who had turned his head slightly in my direction and gave me a subtle nod. I wasn’t sure if it was simply encouragement or granting me permission to go with B. Allowing myself to think of it as permission, a command if you will, was easier. Commands I was familiar with, commands I could understand and obey without the complication of overthinking and panicking. Obeying allowed me to follow my sister, leaving my master behind for the moment. At the end of a short hallway, ‘B’ pushed open a door. I hesitated before entering. This was the room we shared before Grandma died. It was bigger now, and I realized that the house itself had been made wider.
“We took down that wall and built back a little. The house was the size of a matchbox, nowhere near big enough for three of us. We went out and up.” B shook her head and smiled. “Kinda overkill. It’s too big now, but Charlie works for Carter Constructions. It’s owned by his best friend, Jax, so it wasn’t all that expensive. I guess we’ll eventually need the room for when we have kids. Charlie has got some harebrained idea that we will have a brood and fill every inch of space we now have.”
Pulling my gaze away from the room I watched my sister carefully. She looked happy, even wistful as she talked about having children with Charlie. Between the two of us, I never had any doubt that B would be the one with the big family. I liked kids well enough, but the thought of having my own had always frightened me. My parents died when I was a child, leaving two little girls alone and defenseless in the world. The thought that could happen to my own children had scared me enough to vow I would never have kids. Then along came Master Jonas. He had cemented that vow and made it so. I would never have children, willingly or otherwise. He took that opportunity away when he allowed men to rape and defile me, leading to internal damage, which stole any chance of bearing children. Before I could allow the thought to drag me away, I clenched my fists and turned back to the room before me, concentrating on the fluffy white quilt with matching white pillows on a large comfortable looking bed. A knitted red blanket was carefully folded, sitting on one corner. Grandma had knitted one for the both of us after Mom and Dad died. She said that even though they weren’t here to keep us warm during the cold days and nights, we would always be warm. The only warmth my life had found in the last several years had been fleeting moments with Mой; I was fairly sure ice ran through my veins now.
“I didn’t do much in the way of decorating. I thought I would leave that to you. Larz has a room right across the hall.” My brow furrowed in confusion and B must have noticed. “Larz won’t leave your side. He’s like your very own personal shadow, a gift from Braiden,” she said in an almost a sarcastic tone. “Larz will stay when Braiden leaves,” she went on, obviously not noticing my growing panic.
My heart thumped hard and my breathing came in gasps as I swung around and stormed out of the room. B was hot on my heels. She was speaking, but I didn’t hear her. When Mой saw me, he pushed off the counter, all signs of his casual stance gone.
“Em?” he asked, concerned.
“You’re leaving, Mой?” I whispered, hating the tears that were beginning to gather in my eyes.
Mой seemed to give my sister an irritated glance before giving me his full attention. “Em, I have to leave for a short time. Jonas is still out there which means you are still in danger. I have to take away that threat so you can live in peace.”
I shook my head violently. “Don’t give me away, please don’t give me away. I promise I will do better. I’ll do anything you ask, and I won’t complain. I’ll behave.” I was rambling hysterically. Mой went to touch me and I fell to my knees into perfect submissive compliance. I was sobbing now, useless tears falling into my lap. “Please don’t give me away,” I whispered over and over again.
Mой knelt before me and placed his big warm hands on my wet cheeks. “Malen’kaya,” he whispered, lifting my watery gaze to his. He looked to be in just as much pain as I was, but that couldn’t be right. He was the one throwing me away, he didn’t care. “You need to do this. You need to take your life bac
k and that means no master.”
A sob hitched in my throat. “I can’t, please, don’t leave me here.”
Mой’s eyes turned into that cold detachment I had glimpsed intermittently over the last few days. “You can and you will.” His voice held a command, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to disobey.
“Please don’t leave me,” I begged.
Mой’s eyes closed as he pressed his lips against my forehead in an angry but careful kiss. When he pulled away, I saw a look that frightened me.
“You will stay with Rebecca and Charlie. Larz will always be with you. They can contact me if need arises, but otherwise you will have no direct communication with me. You don’t need me, Emily, you do not need a master. I am no good for you, and you unfortunately are no good for me.” He stood and walked towards the front door.
“No, no, no, no, no.” I breathed over and over again, tears dripping from my cheeks, sobs falling from my lips. When he walked out the front door and closed it behind him, it felt like my world had just shattered. It hurt when Master Jonas threw me away, but he was evil. Mой had been kind, caring. He made me promises, and now he was throwing me away, too, and it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. My heart split in two and I clutched my knees sobbing loudly.
“Come on, Em.” Big hands pulled me up and lifted me. I struggled for a moment, not wanting to be touched, not wanting to taint whoever’s arms I was caught in. “Settle down, Em, you don’t have to fear my touch. My soul carries more sin than the average man should carry, just like Braiden.” It was Larz. I was captured against his massive chest as he walked me down the hall. He gently placed me on the bed. “She’s in shock, could you bring her the juice; the sugar will help.”
I’m not sure who he was speaking to, but I didn’t care. My world had just crumbled and I wanted to be buried under its rubble where I wouldn’t feel anything ever again.
“It’s going to be alright, Em. You’ll be mad at him for a while, but you’ll come to realize it was for the best.”
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