And here I am, driving to work. What if – what if they attack me?
She mentally scolded herself for even thinking that.
They’re people. Just like me and my mom, and everyone else. My dad is one of the best men I’ve ever met – why would these people be any different?
But she couldn’t shake the feeling and it worsened as she drove into the parking lot out back. She glanced at the clock. She had a few minutes before she absolutely had to be in class, and she considered waiting in her warm car until the absolute last minute – but that wasn’t like her.
Brooke killed the engine, steeled herself, and headed inside. She reminded herself that it was just a job and these were just men.
Men that could rip me to shreds at a moment’s notice. They could do it. They could shift and that would be that.
She’d never seen her father shift – nor any of his other Shifter friends. And that was okay with her. Her father’s business was his own.
Inside was warmer than outside, but still cool. She remembered that the cold bothered Shifters less than humans. The day before, her mind had been racing a thousand miles per hour, and she hadn’t noticed it.
Just one more thing on my mind.
Down the hallway she went. Her father was already in his office. She heard talking, so she just popped her head in the open door and waved. He was on the phone. When he saw her, he rolled his eyes and then gave her a thumbs up.
Seeing him there helped put her mind at ease – ever so slightly. She wasn’t alone here with these Shifters, though sometimes it sure felt like it.
Brooke walked past the Sergeant – McCready – and he gave her a nod. He looked worn out and tired. She knew he wasn’t happy with how things had turned out around the Forest. Could she blame him?
It seemed everyone’s lives had been turned upside down after the Chief was injured. She just hoped that she wasn’t part of the problem – though she suspected, deep down, that she was.
She found her classroom and was unsurprised to find that today, she was absolutely alone. There was no other Shifter here to help her. They had their own jobs to do.
And if I do my job right, these recruits in here will join them, and they’ll be able to successfully do their job. That’s what I’m here for.
I’m a teacher.
Just thinking that made her feel that much better.
She heard the men coming down the hallway and her heart started beating in her chest. But she was relieved to find out that the man who had caused all the trouble was indeed gone. The class somehow seemed warmer and friendlier than it had been the day before.
All of the men looked at her when they came into the room, some barely seeming to fit through the doorway.
And then there was the same man – the man she had learned was called Carver – that smiled at her and lit up the room. She felt her face blush and turned around, feigning interest in making sure the whiteboard was cleaned off completely.
I’m a teacher – and he’s my student.
She knew it was something that she shouldn’t care about – but she had to admit, the look he gave her did make her feel good. After the bad day she’d had the day before, just a smile seemed to put her just a little more at ease.
“Good morning,” she said – and about half of the class muttered something back. Then she noticed that the men all looked absolutely exhausted. If McCready had looked tired, then these men looked like they were going to fall asleep sitting at their desks. Some looked worse than others. She noticed that Carver looked moderately awake, but it may have been his bright golden eyes that made him look just a bit more alert than some of the others. “Rough night?”
There were more murmurs, even less than before.
“Well, today we’ll be starting by learning about fire behavior. While fires may seem to spread randomly, there is always some sort of pattern. It’s important, no, essential, to understand what causes this. It can save lives – the textbook told me,” she said, patting the book on the desk. There were a few laughs from the class at her admittance to learning from the books just like them. She turned her eyes away from Carver, who had been one of those to laugh. Then she gestured to a stack of textbooks on the desk and said, “I need someone to hand these out.”
“You got it, Sam,” one of the men said. He smiled and nudged Carver while saying, “You’re the only one of us who looks awake enough to stand up.” There were a couple more laughs and mutters of agreement around the class.
Sam. So that’s his name.
She had to admit, it was an odd situation. These men mostly went by their last names, or their titles. It wasn’t often that they went by first names. She wasn’t sure why – but that’s just how it was, she suspected.
“Well, Sam, are you up to the challenge?” she asked. She handed the man the textbooks and their hands brushed for the briefest of moments – and whether it was her fault or his, the stack of books she’d handed him tumbled to the floor.
“Nice job!” one of the other men shouted, cackling. Brooke didn’t know if it was directed at her or at Sam. She felt herself blush even harder than she had when the men had first walked in.
“Sorry,” Sam muttered, bending down and starting to pick up the books.
“No, that was my fault,” she said, hurrying to help him. They both reached down, grabbing the textbooks, and she realized they were inches away from butting heads while kneeling down. She stood up and tried to clear her mind.
What’s gotten into me?
It was that touch.
Brooke, you’re acting like a little girl.
But how long had it been? She couldn’t even remember the last time. And now, she was in a room full of burly men, all around her age and all extremely fit and attractive.
And this one here…
He stood up, arms full of books, and passed them out as quickly and carefully as he could. Then he took his own copy and sat down, staring at a random page he’d flipped to. He wouldn’t look up and meet her eyes.
“Okay, let’s get started. There’s a passage I want you to read in chapter one…”
The last few weeks had been both satisfying and soul crushing. There was no other way for Sam to describe it. He knew he was running on fumes. He knew he looked worn out. He was still pushing himself to the best of abilities – but they were being tested.
And isn’t that what this is? A test? Not just a few tests here in class, or a few physical exams. It’s all one, big, giant, soul crushing test. And it’s wearing me down.
At least I won’t be the first to fall.
Two other recruits had succumbed to the rigorous training. One had quit the night that McCready had forced them to shift and then loaded them up and taken them away. He shuddered thinking about that night. McCready had taken them into upstate New York – in a blizzard, no less – and tossed them out of the vehicle without evening a good luck. He’d told them they had until dawn to get back to the station.
The man that had quit that night had simply went home. While the rest of the men had shifted, trudged through the snow, forcing their way home, the other man had simply found the highway, hitched home, and never came back. While they were putting miles underneath their paws, he had been home, probably kicking up his feet in the warmth. Sam couldn’t entirely blame him.
But the rest of them had trudged on. Sam couldn’t remember being more tired the next day. He didn’t think any of the recruits had. They’d trudged into class, all grumbling and mumbling – but Brooke Slater had managed to perk him up.
He knew she was his teacher – but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find her attractive, right? And her smile was like a light in the darkness. Everything else around him was so absolutely tough, but when she smiled – he forgot all about that, if only until she started diving into her lesson plans.
Of course, he’d had to make a complete fool in front of the rest of the class, and most importantly – Brooke herself. He’d dropped the books and since then,
Smith hadn’t let him live it down.
In the weeks past, things hadn’t changed much. They were running training exercises; climbing up ropes and walls, crawling under barbed wire. It reminded him of some sort of military boot camp, except that he was going to be a firefighter. But not just any firefighter.
Another man had dropped out a few days after the other. Sam couldn’t understand why. Hadn’t these men always wanted to be a part of something like this? He just couldn’t fathom actually dropping out, though he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t fallen asleep fantasizing about it after he collapsed into his bed each and every night.
But there was one good thing; for the past week, he hadn’t been sleeping in his apartment. The rest of the men had been put up in the spare barracks. It had been odd, at first, but he’d come to enjoy not being alone in his apartment every night. The bed was just as comfortable – which was to say, not at all – and most of the others snored, but it beat living in his freezing apartment. He still rented it out, of course. He didn’t want to have no place to go if he scrubbed out. He had quit his job, though. That was good, too. He had a place to live rent free and all of the free meals he could eat. It wasn’t completely bad.
Class wasn’t his favorite. He felt he was doing well – better than some of the others, anyway. But he wanted to get out there and help others. He understood that by learning, he would be better able to help those people – but sitting in class while he could be out learning carry techniques or how to bust down a door brought his mood down.
Luckily, he got to spend the class listening to Brooke.
She’s my teacher. Keep your head focused and your eyes on the whiteboard. Nothing is more important than being a member of the Forest.
But nothing prepared him to what happened when he was sitting in class.
Brooke had just passed out their latest test – a multiple choice exam over advanced fire spreading methods – and for once, when she reached him, she looked grim. She handed back the exam and his heart plummeted in his chest.
He’d received a 5% on his exam.
From behind, John nudged him and leaned over his shoulder. He had imagined his friend was about to say something – but when his eyes saw Sam’s test score, he just sat back down and didn’t say a word.
The rest of the class was nothing but a blur. Sam could hear his pulse pounding in his head.
What happened? I thought I aced it…
My world is crashing down around me.
The new higher ups of the Forest had made it very clear; if your grades fell, so too did you. And looking down at his test score, Sam didn’t think there was any way for him to come back from this. Even if he aced the rest of his exams…
After class, everyone filed out, a few of the guys clapping each other on the back and making a lot of noise, Smith included. He spared one last glance back at Sam and left the room. Sam didn’t like the man – there was something about him that Sam couldn’t quite place – but that was the least of his worries at that moment. John tried to give him some words of advice but they didn’t seem to help.
Brooke was standing with her back to him, wiping off the whiteboard, oblivious that he was still sitting there in a stupor. For a brief moment, he felt intense anger towards her – but that wasn’t fair. It hadn’t been her fault. It was his and only his. Whatever he’d done, he only had himself to blame.
She gave a jump and a yell when he said, “Excuse me, Brooke?” and then she laughed nervously and blushed.
“I thought I was in here alone,” she said. “Good thing I didn’t start singing…” She gave another nervous little laugh that any other time, Sam would think was charming. Hell, he probably would have been laughing along with her. But he couldn’t bring himself to do that now.
“Is there something I can help you with, Sam?” she asked when he didn’t say anything. Then she looked down at his paper and said softly, “Oh.”
“Is there some kind of mistake?” Sam asked, getting to his feet. He knew he sounded nervous – this could mean the end of his short lived career as a member of the Forest.
“I double and tripled checked it, Sam. The score is correct.”
“It can’t be. I thought I did everything right. Can you check again?”
She sighed but nodded, pitying him. Brooke motioned for him to come over to the desk. She sat down and opened up one of the drawers and produced an answer key.
Sam’s heart was beating in his chest. She had to have made some kind of mistake. There was no way he could have messed up this bad.
But as she read the questions and answers off, comparing it to Sam’s test, he quickly found out that there had been no mistake. He got the first question right and the last nineteen wrong. Just like that.
And then he noticed something. Brooke read one of the questions and Sam immediately spouted off the answer.
“That’s right,” Brooke said, nodding. “But that isn’t what you filled in here.”
He looked down at the little bubble he’d scribbled in.
“Wait,” they both said at the exact same time.
And recognition dawned for both of them.
“I skipped a question, somehow,” Sam said, pointing. Sure enough, he had filled in the same dot on both of the first questions, and then he’d answered the rest of the questions. But they were all off by one question. “And I didn’t notice when I finished with one question left…”
At the bottom, on the line for question 21, was a half-hearted answer filled in.
“I must have…” he muttered, recognition dawning. The night before he had taken the exam, earlier in the week, had been another type of test – a kind of endurance test that lasted all through the middle of the night. He didn’t even remember if he’d been able to get a quick nap between the endurance test and this test, now that he began to think about it.
“You did look pretty rough the morning of the test,” Brooke said. “No offense!”
“None taken,” Sam muttered, still looking down at the test in front of him. “Can I retake the test? Something? I know the answers – I just answered them wrong.”
Brooke didn’t answer for a few moments. Finally, she sighed and said, “I can’t let you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he asked, his voice a bit harder than he meant for it to be. He had to remind himself that it wasn’t her fault. It was his own.
“I can’t, Sam. I’m sorry. All test results are final. It’s how it’s always been here in the Forest.”
“But…”
“Sam,” she said, lightly grabbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
He felt everything start to crumble around him, truly this time. There had been some sort of hope there, distant and faint, that somehow they could get to the bottom of this and sort it out completely. But now he knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“It’s over,” he said. “They don’t accept anyone with less than an 80 percent in class.”
“Maybe not,” she said. Sam looked at her with a confused look on his face. “I mean, you’re right there. If your score averages out to less than 80 percent, you won’t pass. But it might not be over.”
He watched as she grabbed a calculator and pulled up his previous homework and test scores. She did a little bit of math and typed in a rather large number – he assumed it was the amount of points total, and then hit a button. Sam wasn’t bad at math, by any means, but she had inputted everything so fast than he could barely keep up.
“You can do it,” she said and gave him a smile. He felt his heart leap – both at what she had said and her smile. “But it isn’t going to be easy.”
“How not easy?” he asked, looking down at the calculator.
“You have less than a one percent margin. So…”
“I have to get 99% on every test, homework, and quiz from here on out orI won’t pass.”
“That’s right,” she said and she wasn’t smiling so much any longer.
“I’m done,” he said. “That�
�s impossible.”
“It’s not,” she said. “Listen, Sam. I know you’re a good man. A good Shifter, and a great student. From everything I’ve heard about you, you’re at the top of the entire class.” He was surprised to hear that but kept his mouth shut. “I know you just made one mistake, and if it were up to me – I would help you out in a heartbeat. But it’s not up to me.”
“It’s up to the suits,” Sam said. For a split second, he thought that she winced at that, but then that was gone.
“Yes, that’s right,” she said. “But, if you want – I can help you out in a different way.”
“How’s that?”
“I can tutor you, or help you study, at the least.”
He considered for a moment and then shook his head. “Thanks, but I got myself into this mess, and I can get myself out of it.”
She looked surprised and he even felt surprised.
But she nodded at that and told him that if he changed his mind to let her know. He nodded back, gave her his thanks, and left the classroom, his mind reeling and spinning and going at a thousand miles per hour.
It’s not over. Not yet. But it won’t be easy, he kept reminding himself. He kept telling himself that all he had to do was study the material he’d been given. Read the textbook. Do the best he could, and he would make it out okay.
What a lie, another voice said. You’re screwed.
And he knew that ultimately, he was. His career, his life goal, everything he’d been working for his entire life was going to go down the drain because he’d been sleep deprived and made one screw up.
I can drop out now. Save myself and everyone else the trouble.
But he wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t. He would go until the bitter end. What other choice did he have? Sam had nothing, nothing to go back to, no one to run to.
This is it.
He knew that this was part of the test – and though he might not make it, he wouldn’t quit.
It wasn’t fair. But life never was, was it? It wasn’t fair she’d lost her job, it wasn’t fair she’d had to give up her apartment and move back in with her parents. Lots of things weren’t fair.
Bear Heat: BBW Fireman Bear Shifter Romance (Firefighter Bears Book 1) Page 8