He tilts his head from side to side. “Friends might be a bit of a stretch, but we’re all right. Why?”
“I just can’t seem to figure out why he did it. How he went from tattooing our initials on each other to breaking up with me a few days later. No matter what I do, it doesn’t make sense.”
His eyes widen. “I’m sorry, you did what now?” I turn and point to behind my ear, where the K is permanently inked into my skin. “Wow. That’s…wow.”
“He has a D on the inside of his ring finger.”
“Laney, that’s intense.”
I sigh. “I know. Don’t tell Savannah. She’ll start looking up removal places, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“Fair enough.” He gets up and holds out his hand. “But can you please come inside? I’ll try to figure out what I can about Knox if you do.”
It’s too tempting of an offer to pass up on, being as Tessa is a vault and won’t tell me a thing. She said that it’s not healthy for me to want to know, and all she’s heard is that Knox won’t let them even say my name. Therefore, I’ll take what I can get.
THE WEEK PASSES AS slow as the last one, and by the time Friday comes, I’m no less of a train wreck than I have been. All of Grayson’s efforts have come up with exactly what Knox said originally—that we’re just not compatible. It’s a cop-out, if you ask me. Total bullshit.
As I walk down the stairs, the sound of Tessa talking to someone catches my attention. I stay where I am and listen in, hearing her talk to Easton, I’m guessing, about a party they’re going to tonight. It only takes a second before I’m running back up the stairs and jumping in the shower.
Within a half hour, I’m dressed and ready to go. I race down the steps just as Tess is about to walk out the door. Her eyes widen when she sees me, until she puts the pieces together.
“No, absolutely not.”
“Either I’m coming with you, or I’m showing up on my own. Regardless, I’m going.”
She groans. “Delaney, it’s not a good idea.”
“None of this has ever been a good idea. You’ve said that from the get-go.”
“Yeah but,” she pauses. “He’s…different. None of us know what’s gotten into him lately.”
I’m not sure exactly what she’s insinuating, but I know it’s meant to deter me from going. Whatever it is, I’ll handle it. He doesn’t get to control my life. Not anymore.
“Let’s go,” I tell her, slipping past her and out the door.
She exhales and mumbles something about making a big mistake, but follows behind anyway.
THE MUSIC BOOMING THROUGH the house sends a buzz through my body. In a way, it helps me let go. All the times I’ve been at these things, my eyes have always been on Knox, but not tonight. Now that I look around, I notice all the other guys here and how some of their eyes stay trained on me. What’s that saying? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?
Tessa watches as I smile at someone who winks at me, and her eyes roll. She grabs my wrist and pulls me with her into the kitchen and over to where Easton is.
“I need a fucking shot,” she demands, slamming it back as soon as she gets her hand on one. “Thank you.”
“Laney,” Zayn says, clearly surprised to see me. “How’ve you been?”
“Good,” I lie. “What about you?”
He shrugs. “Same shit, different day.”
Subtly, he takes out his phone and starts sending a text to whom I can only assume is Knox. Perfect. I want him to know I’m here. I want him to watch as I move on—find someone else who’s “no good for me.” If he feels only a fraction of the pain I’ve felt the past couple weeks, I’ll consider tonight a success.
I walk around the counter and grab a beer from the fridge, but the second I pull it out, the door is roughly pushed closed and the bottle is ripped from my hand. Knox slams the beer onto the counter and turns to me with a fiery look in his eyes.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Struggling to ignore the way his cologne fills my senses, I do my best to stay strong. “Well, I was about to drink a beer before you so rudely interrupted.”
“No,” he growls. “What do you think you’re doing here? You don’t belong here.”
“Really? We’re back to that now?” He stays firm, making me scoff. “Well, last I checked, this isn’t your house.” I turn my attention to Zayn. “Are you going to kick me out?”
He raises both hands in surrender. “No way. Don’t pull me into that mess. I’m staying out of this one.”
I smile sweetly, grabbing the beer once again, popping it open, and bringing it to my lips. As I take a sip, I wink at Knox and walk past him. He throws his hands up in the air at Zayn, and I can’t help but laugh just a bit.
IF I THOUGHT HE was possessive on the night of my birthday, he’s fucking homicidal now. I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head all night. I do my best to avoid looking his way, but the times I cave, he’s staring right at me with a deep scowl on his face.
“So, where are you looking to go for college?” the guy I’ve been talking to asks. Casey, or Cody—something with a C.
“I’m not sure. I was thinking maybe Columbia or Brown. I haven’t decided yet.”
His eyes widen. “Wow, Ivy League. Nice.” He looks around. “Do you want to step outside? Somewhere a little more private.”
I don’t. There’s nothing really appealing about his golden-boy vibe. I guess only the bad boys do it for me. Still, I know nothing will piss Knox off more than me going anywhere with this kid.
“Sure.”
He leads the two of us through the house and out onto the back deck. It’s beautiful out here at night, lit up by the moonlight and some Tiki torches Z lights for the people who can’t fit inside the house. Right now, though, it’s just him and me.
“Now that I can hear myself think,” whatever-his-name-is jokes.
I chuckle softly and lean against the railing. He comes closer and places his hands on either side of me. Just when he starts going in for a kiss, he’s ripped backward and slammed against the house. All I can see is the back of Knox’s shirt as he holds the guy in place with an arm to his throat.
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck out of here and never go near her again. Do you understand me?”
He nods, looking scared enough to piss his pants, and I roll my eyes. The second Knox releases him, the kid takes off. Fucking wuss.
“Satisfied?”
His breathing is labored, and for the first time in a while, I see something more than an empty abyss in his eyes. “I don’t know what game you’re trying to play, but cut it the fuck out. Go home, Delaney.”
“No,” I hold my ground. “Not until you tell me what happened. We were fine—happy, even—and then you ended it, just like that. No warning. No explanation. Just squashed our relationship like a bug on the floor. Your life is completely unchanged while mine has been a fucking mess.” I’m getting emotional, which is what I wanted to avoid, but there’s no hope for that. I wrap my arms around myself. “Do I even cross your mind at all?”
He stays motionless, refusing to say anything. I exhale as I realize standing here with him is a lost cause. He’s never going to give me anything more than he already has.
“Whatever,” I mutter, walking around him and toward the house.
“No.” His voice sounds gravelly and I stop but don’t turn around. “You don’t cross my mind; you fucking live in it. It’s like you’ve taken up residence at the forefront of my brain.” He comes behind me until I can feel him pressed against my back. “There’s no getting rid of you. No drug that could ease the pain that came when I pushed you away. Believe me, you think I’m doing all right, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“Then why?”
He rests his forehead against me and breathes in the smell of my hair. “It’s in your best interest. I’m doing this for you.”
“Do you trust me?”
The question alone stings more than anything he’s said all night. “I did.”
He swallows so hard I can hear it. “Then go home. Go to Savannah’s. Go anywhere, but stay away from here. Stay away from me, because fuck, Bambi, you’re too perfect to get pulled down into my mess.”
His words resonate in my brain, but no part of me accepts them. A tear escapes and slides down my cheek.
“I don’t want to. I only want you. Just let me love you—demons and all.”
For a second, his silence makes me think he actually might consider it, until every hope gets shot out of the sky with two simple words.
“I can’t.”
He steps away and the warmth goes with him, leaving me cold and alone. I turn around in hopes to find him still standing there, but he’s gone—along with the last part of me that was left unbroken.
24
KNOX
I sit on the bench, waiting for Jackson to come in and help me warm up. Grayson is fucking around and hitting the punching bag while I sit, staring at the D that’s been embedded into my skin. I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn’t think the universe would be so quick to fuck me for it.
Seeing her last night at that party tested my patience in more ways than I thought possible. When Zayn texted me, telling me she was there, I assumed he was playing some sick joke or something. What I didn’t expect was for her to go and deliberately flirt with someone right where I could see her. It was an effort to get a rise out of me, that much is clear. I know the faces she makes when she’s intrigued or turned on, and the way she looked at him wasn’t even close.
When Z and I watched her walk outside with him, he couldn’t contain his laughter. I, however, had a sudden urge to shove Christian’s face into the fucking pavement. He knows better than to go after what’s mine, and what Delaney and I had is no secret to anyone. Therefore, I make no apologies for nearly choking him out. One shithead down, a million and six to go.
“Vaughn, you ready?” Jackson’s voice booms into the room.
Standing up, I spare one last glance at the tattoo before he wraps both my hands. Usually, I dread coming here all the damn time. It’s one thing to fight because you have some shit you need to sort out. It’s another to be forced to do it. Tonight, however, I have plenty of pent-up aggression to take out on my undeserving opponent.
I CLIMB INTO THE ring, checking out the guy I’m up against this time. He’s big, almost twice my size—which is probably why more than half this place bet that he’s going to kick my ass, but you know what they say: the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
As soon as the bell sounds, he comes charging at me with full force. I jump out of the way, and when he bounces off the ropes, my fist connects with his face. I can feel his nose snapping against my knuckles. Blood immediately starts gushing, fueling his wrath.
The two of us move around, throwing our own punches while dodging the other’s. When he lands one good hit to my jaw, my fury only grows.
“Picture your opponent as someone you hate. Someone you can’t stand. Someone you want to hurt.”
I replay Jackson’s advice, feeling when it clicks. I close my eyes, which is a risky move on its own, and start pummeling hits into his face. In my mind, it’s not some husky-looking guy I’m fighting—it’s Cal. The one forcing me to be here. The reason I lost the only girl I’ve ever felt anything for. The girl who gave me hope. Nothing can stop me now.
Going into a blind rage, the next thing I know, I’m being pulled off the guy, who lies motionless on the ground. His blood covers every inch of my hands, along with most of my clothing. The crowd cheers in a sick and twisted way, but my eyes widen in horror as I realize he’s not breathing.
I jump out of the ring and push my way out of the arena, not even waiting for the ref to announce me as the winner. Grayson follows closely. Once we step into the bathroom, he locks the door behind us.
Turning on the shower, I don’t even get undressed before stepping into the stream. Gray helps take the tape off my hands and then leaves me alone to shower.
“I’ll put your clothes on the bench.”
He doesn’t wait for my answer, mainly because he knows I won’t be giving him one. He’s been through this with me enough to know how it goes. He’ll stay outside the door, making sure no one comes in, and wait for me to get done.
When I’m cleaned up and dressed in a fresh pair of sweats, I nod to Grayson, and the two of us head up to Cal’s office. It’s my least favorite part of the night. Having to watch the smug look on his face as he counts all the money he made—it makes me want to knock his teeth out.
“There’s my boy!” he shouts as soon as I step in the room. “How are you feeling? Looks like he got a couple good hits in there.”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine,” he repeats with a laugh. “You should be better than fine. You just took down someone twice your weight!”
I try to keep my cool, but it’s hard when all I want to do is get the fuck out of here. “Can I just get my money so I can go?”
“Not until you do the honors.” He grabs the Sharpie from his desk and hands it to me.
Okay, I lied before. This is my least favorite part of the night. I open the marker and walk over to the chart, feeling disgusted at the tallies next to everyone’s name. It’s a cruel and revolting way that Cal keeps track of all the lives taken in The Death Trap. Each one of the three tally marks next to my name make me feel like a monster.
My hand is like lead as it draws another mark with the others. Once I’m finished, I slam the Sharpie onto the desk and grab the money from Cal before running out the door. I barely make it to the garbage can before I’m hurling the contents of my stomach into it. Every life I take is another demon that haunts me. Another guarantee that I’m going to hell. And another reason Delaney is better off far as fuck away.
I WAKE IN THE morning, not realizing where I am until I take in the familiar room. A throbbing pain shoots through my head as I start to sit up. What the hell happened last night and how did I end up here? As if she could hear my thoughts, the door opens and Hailey walks through it.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she says.
I wince at the sound of her voice. “What am I doing here?”
She eyes me intently. “You don’t know?” I shake my head. “You showed up last night, drunk and high, rambling some nonsense about being a murderer.”
Her words make me choke on air, but as soon as I start coughing, I feel like I’m going to throw up again. I rush into her en suite bathroom and vomit into the toilet. She follows behind me and sighs as she leans in the doorway.
“Yeah, there was a lot of that, too. I’m guessing you had a bad batch of coke.”
I slouch against the bathtub, taking slow, deep breaths. Hailey grabs a washcloth and runs it under cold water before handing it to me. It feels good against my heated skin and makes me feel a little less disgusting.
“My head is fucking pounding.”
“There’s some medicine in the cabinet. I’ll go get you some water.”
As she leaves me alone, I try to recall what happened last night. The last thing I remember is demanding Grayson drop me off at some sketchy bar downtown. He had asked if I wanted him to come with me, but I refused. I just wanted to be alone.
“Here.”
I thank her quietly and take the bottle of water, swallowing down the pills and savoring the way the cold feels on my throat. It takes a minute for me to feel like I can move without the room spinning, but once I do, I get up and walk back into Hailey’s bedroom.
Looking around for my clothes, I find them draped over the chair. It’s then that it dawns on me and I feel even sicker than I did before.
“We didn’t…”
She follows my line of sight and chuckles. “No, definitely not. You started whining about feeling constrained or some shit, and took off your clothe
s. I picked them up so none got misplaced.”
I exhale in relief. Well, at least there’s that.
Hailey watches as I get dressed, and as soon as I’m done, I give her the best smile I can manage.
“Thanks for dealing with my ass.”
She laughs softly. “I’ve been doing it for how long? I’m used to it now.”
“Well still, thank you.”
I grab my phone off the desk and head for the door.
“Wait,” she calls. “Do you really have to leave so soon? We could hang out, like old times.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Getting up from her bed, she comes closer. “Why not?” Her hand rests against my chest. “I know you and the Virgin Mary broke up, so there’s no reason why we can’t go back to being us.”
“Hails, there are plenty of reasons,” I tell her.
“Like what?”
I move back to put some distance between us and her hand falls to her side. “A lot, but the biggest one is because that Virgin Mary is the best thing to ever come into my fucked-up life, and I’m nowhere near over her yet.”
I PULL INTO THE parking lot and shut off my motorcycle, climbing off and leaving the helmet on the handlebars. The guys are in the same place they usually are, but there’s something different this time. As soon as I approach, they all look at me with disgust on their faces.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
Zayn shakes his head. “Not fucking cool, Knox.”
Shit, they fucking know. “Listen, I can explain. It’s not my—”
“Save it,” he snaps. “I don’t know what the fuck happened between you two, but she didn’t deserve that.”
“She? Wait, what the hell are you talking about?”
“You know what!” Easton shoves me. “How many people did you send that picture to? Was it just our entire school or did you include HGP in the blast, too?”
The Saint: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Haven Grace Prep Book 2) Page 17