“Hello, Briar,” Mrs. Hart says, her voice full of hatred. She hates me because I have what her daughter wanted. Saxon’s baby. She believes every word from her daughter's mouth as though it’s gospel and she treats me and my daughter as though we’re dirt beneath her shoes.
“Hello, Mrs. Hart. Table for one?”
She glares at me, “No, I need a table for four. They’ll be here momentarily.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Certainly. Follow me, please.” Usually, if I sit someone down, I’d put them into my area, but with the Hart’s, I put them in someone else's. I can’t deal with the hassle that always seems to come with them. They’ve tried to have me fired on three different occasions, all for stupid shit, like not bringing their food down in a timely manner. Not having my name tag on and the one that took the absolute cake was that Lila complained that I tried to poison her, after eating here she was sick. Thankfully, my boss doesn’t believe them and has told me that he’d rather ban them from coming in than fire me.
I walk toward Mindy’s area and seat Mrs. Hart down, “Mindy will be your server and she’ll be down with your menus shortly.” I give her a brief smile before backing away.
I glance at the clock and see it’s almost two-thirty. Thirty more minutes and then I’m out of here.
“So, you wanted to talk?” I ask Braxton as we walk toward Sloane’s school.
The last thirty minutes flew by, thankfully Mrs. Hart was having a late lunch with her friends, it didn’t stop them all glaring at me or whispering about me whenever I walked past their table. I’m used to it now. Getting pregnant at seventeen made me the talk of the town. My name has been muddied and I’ve become persona non grata.
I’m the girl that got knocked up by the town’s bad boy. The son of the town’s drunk, and the boy that got into more trouble than I can count. But that was just the surface of Saxon, beneath the tough, bad boy exterior, was a man that loved me fiercely even if in the end he betrayed me. The stupid thing about it all, I’m pretty sure I’m still in love with him.
He sighs, “Yeah, I wanted to be the one to tell you. Saxon’s coming home.”
I stop on the sidewalk and gawk at him. “What?” I whisper harshly.
“He called me last night. He’s coming to work for me. I’ve been offering him a job every time we speak. I’m not sure what’s changed, but he finally accepted, hell, he asked if the job was still available.”
Brax owns the auto shop in town, along with fixing vehicles, they make custom bikes. He’s the best in the west of the country. People come from all over to have Dayton’s Auto make their bikes.
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “When?”
“He’ll be home next week. And, Bri, I need to prepare you…”
Oh God. “He’s got a woman?” My heart sinks at my words.
He shakes his head. “No, he hasn’t. He’s told me that when he comes home he wants to make amends.”
I frown. “What the hell does that even mean?”
“He wants you back.”
I blink. He can’t be serious?
“He left, Brax, my world went to shit and he didn’t come home. He wasn’t there when I needed him the most.” I hated him when my mom died, I needed my best friend and he wasn’t here.
“I don’t think he knows about your mom, Bri. Nor does he know about Sloane.”
My heart burns at the mention of my daughter. What if he comes home and hates me for keeping her from him? What if he wants to take her from me?
“Bri, calm down.” Braxton’s voice is harsh but he’s used to me freaking out and knows it’s the only way to get through to me. “What’s going through your head?”
“What if he hates me? Or wants Sloane?”
Brax’s jaw clenches, “That’s not going to happen. Sax is my brother, Bri, and I love him, but no one and I mean no one is going to take Sloane from you. She’s yours and she’s going to stay where she belongs.”
I know that he’s trying to reassure me, but it doesn’t work. There’s a lot of people in this town that are waiting for me to fail, mostly all of them are friends with the Harts. I’ve tried to be upbeat and positive for Sloane but it’s hard.
“What are we going to do? He’s going to find out about Sloane.”
Brax throws his arm around my shoulders and we start walking toward Sloane’s school again. “He is.”
I sigh, “I’m going to have to tell him.” I would have preferred a little more notice, some more time to get myself together and figure out what I’m going to do.
“Yeah, Bri, you are.” He’s sympathetic, he knows just how much Saxon hurt me by leaving.
Back then, I wasn’t sure if I could have forgiven him, but I have. I just won’t be able to trust him. Not again.
“I just hope that I can tell him before anyone else does.”
This town is too small, as soon as they know that Sax’s is back, they’ll be dying to let him in on all the gossip.
“Does he know that Lila lied?” I ask as we come to a halt outside the school gates and wait for Sloane, she’s going to be happy that Braxton is here. She adores her uncles and loves spending time with them.
I’ve tried avoiding asking about Saxon, not wanting to find out if he’s happy while I’ve been miserable. Whenever Brax spoke to him it would only be brief, it was two brothers checking in with each other making sure the other was doing okay.
“No, he hasn’t said anything about it. As far as I know, he doesn’t know anything that’s happened here in Merlot since he left. But, Briar, he’s determined to win you back. Are you willing to give him a chance?”
“No.” The answer comes quickly, but there’s no determination in my voice.
“You still love him.” It’s not a question, but a statement. I glance up at him, “Good, I love you like I love Sax, the two of you are meant to be together. Even after all this shit, the two of you still love each other.” He gives me a small smile. “Please, when he comes home, just listen to him.”
“What is there for him to say, Brax? He cheated on me. He’s the one that ended our relationship. Then he left and not once looked back. Yes, I love him, but the hurt runs too deep.” I blink away the tears that are threatening to fall. God, why is it even after all this time, it still hurts me to think and talk about that night?
“All I’m asking is for you to hear him out. That’s it.” He pleads with me and there’s no way I can deny him.
“I’m going to have to talk to him about Sloane, so yes, I’ll hear him out. But what was between us is over.”
Thankfully he’s unable to say anything else as we hear “BRAX!” yelled across the schoolyard and my beautiful baby running toward us, her smile bright as she jumps into his arms. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers as he pulls Sloane up onto his hip.
I really hope that it will be okay, I just can’t shake this feeling I have.
Saxon
The rolling hills of the Sonoma mountains along with the bright green of the countryside brings back a hell of a lot of memories. I shake them from my head and carry on driving, I can’t drown in them now. Fuck, I’ve buried myself at the bottom of a fucking bottle every night hoping that I’ll be able to sleep easier. It never fucking happens. Briar Clarke is etched in my memories, etched in my fucking soul, without her, I’m empty.
As I pass the Welcome to Merlot sign, a sense of home hits me. I fucked up all those years ago and now it’s time I make amends. I need Briar, I love her and I want to win her back. The mistakes I made, were stupid, foolish ones. Ones that a man wouldn’t make. It showed me just how fucking young and reckless I truly was.
The fear of becoming a father clawed away at me, hell, it still fucking does. Growing up, I watched my father beat my mother to a bloody pulp, as soon as Braxton and I were able to get in between them, he turned his anger onto us. It was an endless barrage of abuse. He never had an excuse. He told us, it ran in our family. The men grow up to be monsters. I’ve taken that
to heart and promised myself that I’d never, ever, turn into my father. That I would never hurt the people I love the most, and yet, I hurt Briar.
The look on her face when she realized that I had fucked up and slept with Lila, haunts my fucking dreams. I’ll never be able to forget it, nor will I forgive myself for breaking her heart. But I’m hoping that she’ll give me one more chance.
I pull up outside Braxton’s home. My big brother has done well for himself. He’s big time in auto repairs and custom rides. He’s been offering me a job for years and I finally found the courage to take it.
The front door opens and he fills the doorway, his arms crossed and a fucking smile on his face. God, it’s good to see him. I climb off my bike, “Jesus, Sax, what the fuck happened to you?”
I laugh, “The same could be said about you.”
We’ve both changed a lot in the past five years, we’ve added a lot of muscle, and I have tattoos that cover both arms and half my chest.
“Get the hell over here,” he demands and I roll my eyes, still the bossy fucker as always. He engulfs me in his arms. “Damn, it’s good to have you home.”
“Yeah, it’s good to be here.” It’s the truth, I’ve only just rolled into town and I feel more settled than I have in a long fucking time.
He glances behind me and smiles. “Right, bro, while I love you, there’s someone who needs to talk to you. I’m pretty sure you’ll prefer seeing her instead of my ugly mug.”
I freeze at his words. Her?
He slaps me on my back and moves past me out to the front yard. I turn and follow his steps. Standing by the white picket fence that marks the outline of Brax’s yard is Briar.
Fucking sexier than I remember, she’s wearing tight, black jeans and a bright-pink tank top. My mouth waters as I look at her. Damn. Her waist is a little bigger, her tits a hell of a lot bigger as her tank top strains to keep them inside. My gaze goes to her face, those bright-blue eyes that haunted my dreams, are no longer bright, instead they’re full of pain and wariness. Her blonde hair is lighter and longer, it’s down and trails down around her boobs.
My jaw clenches as I watch Brax pull her close to him, she doesn’t hesitate in wrapping her arms around his waist. He whispers something to her and she nods, her gaze firmly on me.
I’m unable to hold my tongue any longer. “Brax, what the fuck?”
Why the hell is he so fucking close and friendly with my girl?
The fucker doesn’t answer, instead he kisses her fucking cheek before walking away. Bri stays by the fence, not once has she taken her eyes off me. All my old feelings resurfaced as soon as I saw her. I knew I loved her; I still fucking love her. It’s an intense feeling knowing that she holds my fate in her hands.
“You gonna stand there all night?” I ask and she finally moves. I walk toward her, her eyes wide as she takes me in. “Baby…”
She shakes her head. “I’m not your ‘baby’, Sax, you gave up that right a long damn time ago.” The anger in her voice takes me by surprise but it gives me hope. She wouldn’t be angry if she didn’t care.
“We need to talk,” I say to her. I take her hand and she tries to pull it away but I hold tighter. “You arrived at the right time,” I tell her as I lead her into the house and toward the sitting room. “I’ve just got back into town.”
She sighs and pulls away from me, this time I let her. She takes a seat on the chair and crosses her arms over her chest. Looking every bit as pissed off as she sounds. “I know, Brax told me you’d be here. I need to talk to you before the town does.”
I nod, “Good, because I want to talk to you first.” My tone is demanding and she raises her brow. “Fuck,” I growl, I’m doing a piss fucking poor job of apologizing.
She sits back in the chair, “And what is it that you have to say that is so damn important?”
“I’m sorry.”
She blinks, her eyes wide and her mouth open slightly in shock. “You’re sorry?”
“Yes, I’m capable of apologizing when I need too,” I quip.
Her eyes narrow at my flippant tone, “What exactly are you sorry for here, Sax?”
“All of it. Everything. I fucked up.” She doesn’t believe me and I can’t blame her. “You are the fucking love of my life, not a day goes by that I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”
“Then why the hell did you throw us away?” Her face is full of pain and I want to take her in my arms and promise her that I won’t hurt her again.
“I didn’t. Fuck. Bri, I swear to fuck, I have no idea what happened that night. That night I had a couple of drinks, nothing that should have had me so drunk that I don’t remember anything about that night.”
She frowns, and I see the confusion swirling in those beautiful blue eyes.
“I woke up the next morning and had no recollection of what happened. Not even how I got there. That fucking bitch was lying beside me in a pair of panties and nothing else. I’m telling you, baby, I would never touch her. I love you, always have since the day I tried to make you eat worms.”
She turns her face away, but not before I see the tears slowly fall down her face. “I’ve hated you for so long,” she whispers and it’s like a sucker punch to my gut. “I still don’t understand why you left.”
“You know what my dad was like, he always told me I’d end up like he was, an abusive drunk. Always quick with a punch when he was in a pissy mood. I swore I’d never hurt anyone I loved, that I wouldn’t have kids, I couldn’t inflict that on them, wouldn’t inflict me on them. Then I had to tell you about Lila and what happened, how I had gotten her pregnant and I hurt you. The one person in this world I loved more than anything. I hurt you and I realized that my old man was right. You were right. I am more like him than I care to admit.”
She swipes the tears away, “I was hurting and I lashed out. Sax, you’re nothing like your father. The fact that you wouldn’t want to hurt me proves that. There’s so much you need to know. So much has happened.”
I walk toward her and crouch down in front of her, taking her hands into mine. “I fucked up, I know I have. I want you, baby. I’ve dreamed about you every day since I’ve been gone.”
Her tears fall thick and fast. “She lied.”
I look at her in confusion, “What?”
“Lila, she lied. She was never pregnant. She wanted to break us up.” She lets out a bitter laugh, “It worked. But she was hoping that you two would get together.”
I breathe through my nose, trying to calm the hell down. I want to find that fucking bitch and kill her. She set me up for five years of fucking pain. She’s going to get what’s coming to her.
“Fucking bitch…”
“Six weeks after you left, my mom died,” she whispers, the heartache in her voice kills me.
I pull her into my arms and hold her just as I had wanted. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
She shakes her head. “I needed you, Sax. I fucking needed my best friend and you didn’t even care.”
My throat burns as I try to swallow. “I had no idea. I swear, I didn’t fucking know. Do you honestly think I would have stayed away if I had?”
“I don’t know,” she admits softly and I hate that she doesn’t trust me.
“I wouldn’t have. I would have been here by your side. What else, baby, what else happened?” The way her body’s wound up tightly, I know there’s something else that she’s not yet told me.
She takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. I brace for whatever it is she’s going to say. “After you left and mom died, I was in a bad way. Brandon tried to help but it wasn’t any good…” She shakes her head almost as if she’s trying to shake away the memories. “It was five months after you left that I found out…” She gives me a sad smile and that fucking smile hurts.
“Found out what, Bri?” I’m worried now.
“I want you to know that there’s no obligation on your part. I just had to tell you because you would have found out from someone el
se. And as much as I hate you, I can’t have you hurt that way.”
Oh God.
“Baby, what the hell is going on?” I’m frantic now, is she sick?
“I found out I was pregnant,” she says and my body goes solid. “I had a little girl.” Her smile widens, and fuck me, the brightness of it almost blinds me. “We had a little girl.”
“We did?” I whisper, unable to fucking breathe.
She nods, “We did. We do. Sloane is the most beautiful girl. She looks so much like you, Sax. She’s perfect.” She reaches into the pocket of her jeans and takes out her cell. She shows me a picture and she’s right. It’s like looking at a miniature, female version of me.
Holy fuck.
I’m a dad.
“Briar…” What the hell do I say?
Briar
I’m finding it hard to put distance between us. He’s changed so much and yet he’s still the same boy that I fell in love with. The one that showed me just how right being in his arms was.
“Brax and Brandon,” I begin, “have been my rock. Honestly, I don’t think I could have done this without them.”
He shakes his head, “You would have, I know you, Bri, your determination is unmatched. I can’t wait to meet my daughter.”
My breath hitches at his words. “You want to meet her?” I didn’t think that he would. I thought he’d do what he did when he thought Lila was pregnant. He’d leave.
His face is unreadable and I don’t like it. I’ve always been able to know what he’s been thinking. I guess the time between us changed us both.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Briar. The shit that runs through my head, it’s not going to go away, but there’s no way that I'm leaving you or her behind. I haven’t even met her yet and I already fucking love her.” His voice is gravelly and his eyes so clear.
“Why are we different, Sax? What makes Sloane different? If Lila hadn’t lied and she was pregnant, would you love that baby too? He or she would be four years old now.”
Bad Boy (The All American Boy Series) Page 2