I pull in a steadying breath, wishing my tears would stay at bay, but it’s as though I’ve opened the floodgates and they’re unstoppable. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I tried my hardest to keep it hidden.”
“What, Bri?” His voice is tight.
“When you left, I was inconsolable.” I begin, hating putting myself back in these memories. “Mom was worried, I wouldn’t leave the house, I just cried.”
“Fuck.” The word is clipped.
“Then mom died.” The tears fall harder and faster. “Bran was at college and I did everything I could to show him that I was okay.” I give him a small smile. “He went back after a lot of encouragement.”
Sax’s eyes flash with anger. “You were alone?”
I nod, “I needed it that way, I was dying inside, Sax, I gave up and I couldn’t let him see that. So I made sure he left.”
“What?” It’s whispered but full of so much anguish that it makes me flinch. “Gave up?”
I nod, “I couldn’t eat, all I did was throw up. I just laid in bed all day.”
“Fuck!” He growls getting to his feet and he starts pacing.
“I was so weak, so fucking weak,” I confess. “I just ended up not wanting to continue. I thought it would be better if I wasn’t here.”
He stalks toward me, his hands cupping my cheeks, “Don’t you ever fucking say that. Even when I wasn’t here, you were all I thought of. You’re all I think of. I fucking love you.”
“I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I’m not strong, Sax, I’m really not.”
His grip on my face tightens. “You are, you’re here. And, baby, when you’re not, I’ll be strong enough for the two of us.”
I nod, my throat tightening at his words. “Bran came home a couple of weeks after mom’s funeral, I was in such a bad way, I had lost a lot of weight. Too much.”
“What happened?”
“I ended up in the hospital, I discharged myself. I couldn’t stay there. Not after mom.” I hated spending an hour there, just being there was making me worse. “I came home and Brandon wouldn’t leave. He stayed with me. He made sure that I got better.”
He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “God, I’m so sorry, baby.”
“I still have some days that are really tough. Brandon helped me get stronger physically and then I started seeing a counselor, it’s taken a long time to get to where I am. There are still some days that I struggle.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Bri. I swear to fuck, I’m not, I won’t leave you again,” he promises me.
“You can’t say that, Sax. What’s going to happen when your demons come back?” It’s what I’m worried about, if he’s unable to fight them anymore and he runs. What’s going to happen to Sloane and I, it won’t be just me that he breaks again, this time, he’ll be hurting our daughter.
“It’s not going to happen. Yes, I still have my demons but, Bri, I can’t and won’t leave you again. I know that it’s going to take a lot of time to rebuild the trust, but I promise when we work through things, you’ll see that we’re fucking better than ever.”
My heart melts at his words, “I thought you’d think I was weak and pathetic.”
“Fuck no. You’re strong and beautiful. Yes, you had a moment of weakness, but you pushed through it. I’m so proud of you,” he tells me and I lean into him, needing his strength.
“Do you want to know anything else?” I ask him after a moment of silence between us.
He pulls back from me and the look in his eyes is worrying. “I do, there’s one thing I need to know, I’m not sure how to ask this without sounding like an asshole.”
“Ask me,” I say, my heart racing.
“You and Brax, did you two get close while I was gone?”
I frown, why is he asking this, he knows that Brax and I are close. “Yeah, we’re friends, Sax,” I tell him softly.
“Babe, I know you’re friends. That’s not what I meant. I’ve heard the rumors that have swept through this town…” My heart races at his words, “I’m asking you, Bri, did you and Brax get closer than friends?”
I don’t say a word, I can’t. Not yet. I’m so fucking pissed. “No, and I can’t believe you would ever think that.” My voice is low and vibrating with anger.
His eyes widen in surprise. “Briar, I had to ask.”
I shake my head. “No, you didn’t have to ask. I would have told you right away if anything happened. But for you to even think that we did proves you don’t know me.”
“God, if the tables were turned, you’d be asking the same thing.”
I grit my teeth. “Ask me what you really want to.”
“Did you and Brax sleep together? Is Sloane mine?”
I get to my feet, unable to believe that he’d really think that of me, of his brother. “Sloane is yours, Sax.” I clench my fists, I want nothing more than to walk away and calm down but I can’t. I need to sort this out with him, I need him to know that Sloane is his daughter.
“You are the only man that I have ever fucking slept with. I was six months pregnant when Brax found out.” I continue and his eyes soften, “I wouldn’t do that to you. I love you too fucking much to disrespect and hurt you. I’m not a bitch, Sax, I never have been.”
He walks over to me. “I should have known you didn’t,” he murmurs. “I should have known, my Bri, would be faithful even when I wasn’t here.” His hands go to my hips and he pulls me against him, his erection standing tall against my stomach. “The past five years I wasn’t living, the light had gone out of my life. Until I came home to you.”
God, why does he have to be so sweet? I raise my hand so that I touch his face, needing the connection, he turns his face to my hand and places a kiss against my palm. I close my eyes and let the feeling of love wash over me. I’ve missed this, missed him, so much.
He tenses beneath my hand, “What the fuck?”
I open my eyes and see he’s glaring at my arm. I gaze at where he’s staring and quickly pull my arm away. The marks where Lila dug her fingernails into my skin so red and pink in contrast to my pale skin.
“Bri, what the fuck happened?” His voice is hard and I know that he’s not going to let this go.
“After your talk with Lila, she came to see me,” I whisper, not wanting him to do something stupid. “I’m okay.”
He raises his brow and glares at me. “You’re okay?” His tone is sharp. “You’ve got fucking fingernail marks in your arm. Bloody marks. That bitch drew blood on you.”
“It’s okay,” I promise him. “Trust me, Sax, she’s looking for a reaction and we’re not going to give her one.”
He pulls me closer to him, “Oh yes we fucking are.” He lowers his mouth down onto mine and steals my breath away. His eyes full of lust when he tears away from me. “We’re going to show that fucking bitch that no matter what she does, we’re unbreakable.”
My heart soars at his words.
“You’re mine, Bri, always.” He kisses me once again and this time, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back with just as much passion.
She thought I’d think she was weak? Fuck, she’s so fucking strong. Until tonight, I never realized just how much impact my leaving had on her. I fucked up more than I could have ever imagined and yet, she’s here, in my arms, loving me. I’m a lucky son-of-a-bitch.
Lila. That fucking bitch. I knew as soon as I saw the bloody fingernail marks on Briar’s arm that she made them. Bri’s out of her mind if she thinks I’m going to leave it alone. No one and I mean no one hurts Bri and gets away with it. After everything that fucker has done, this is the final straw. She’s done.
“I love you, Bri.” I need to say it. I need her to know that she’s it for me. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She sighs against me, “I love you too, I always have.”
“You’re too fucking good for me,” I tell her. “But I’m not letting you go.”
“You’re perfect for me,” she says
softly and this right here is why she’s my light.
“It wouldn’t matter if I weren’t. You’re mine.”
She grins at me. “Always, and you’re mine.”
Hell fucking yes I am. “Fuck yes.”
She giggles and I love that sound. “I’m so happy, Sax. Other than Sloane, being born, I’ve never been this happy.”
Fuck! She knows how to get to me. “Me neither, baby.” I run my hands up her body, unable to not touch her any longer.
“I can’t lose you again,” she confesses.
I rest my head against hers, “Not going to happen, you’re not losing me. Ever.” I press my lips against her neck and she shivers.
“We’re going to be okay,” she promises me and my body sags with relief.
I don’t know what I did to deserve her. But, whatever it is, I’m fucking grateful.
“Sax…” She moans as I kiss her neck. I’ve fucking missed her so much.
“I need you, Bri.” I groan as her hands snake under my t-shirt and her nails rake across my abs.
“God, yes,” she whispers as my fingers pull at her nipples, her back arches and her stomach pushes against my cock.
“You’re all I thought about, Bri. How tight your warm pussy was as I fucked you. No one but you,” I say as I pull off her top.
“Saxon, please,” she begs.
“What do you need, baby?” I ask as I nip at her neck.
“You, always you.” Her fingers tracing my body, I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my life.
“How wet are you?” I growl, needing to touch her.
“Soaked,” she replies breathlessly.
“I can’t wait to sink my cock inside your hot, wet pussy.”
She moans, “Please.”
“I’ve jacked off to the images replaying in my head. How tight you were, how fucking beautiful you are.” I undress her, needing to see her properly. “Better than my imagination.”
“Sax, please, I need you. No more teasing.” She pulls my t-shirt off my body and over my head as I take my jeans off. I’m unable to take my eyes off her naked body. She’s fucking gorgeous. “I need you, Sax, I’m ready,” she whispers, her eyes wide and full of lust.
I lift her into my arms and move us to the sofa. “Baby, I can’t wait,” I tell her, needing to be inside her more than anything.
Her arms wrap around my neck and she pulls me closer to her. “I can’t either. I need you, Sax, it’s been so long.”
I thrust into her and get the overwhelming feeling of being home. She’s tighter than I remember. It’s fucking amazing.
“Please, God, please move,” she pleads.
I pull out and thrust back in, it’s hard, fast, and brutal. It’s perfect. I’ve missed her so fucking much.
Her moans fill the room and they spur me on, my movements get faster and harder. I’m so close to finding my release, but first I need her to come. “Get there,” I demand as I move my hand to her clit.
She moans louder as she grinds against my cock. She’s so fucking responsive and I love that, I love that I’m the only one to get this response from her. Knowing that I’m the only one to have her makes me feel like a caveman. “Fuuuuuuck,” I growl. “Bri, you need to come.”
She shatters at my words, my name on her lips as she squeezes my cock. The pleasure on her face is fucking amazing, she’s so gorgeous. Her pussy contracting is driving me crazy, I pound into her hard before I release inside of her. Releasing my cum inside of her.
Heaven. Utter fucking heaven.
I’m not sure how long we lay her on the sofa, my cock still semi-hard inside of her. If I could, I’d spend all night right here, in this position. She clings to me, our bodies slick with sweat. I nuzzle into her neck, loving the way she shivers even when it’s not sexual between us.
I fucking love that she’s so affected by me. It’s not one sided, this woman owns me completely.
She shifts slightly and I pull out of her, wanting to lift her up and take her to bed. When I stand, I notice that cum leaks from my cock as well as her pussy. Shit. No condom.
“Bri, are you on the pill?” I ask quietly.
I’m not panicking. Bri’s it for me and if she’s not on the pill, I don’t care. What happens, happens. We’ll deal with it, but we’ve not had this conversation and I’m not sure if she’ll want another child.
She frowns, not sure where I’m going with this conversation. “No, I’m not. Why?”
“I didn’t wear a condom,” I tell her and her mouth opens slightly in shock. “I didn’t think, I know we’ve not discussed what we want to happen with us in the future, but I’m here to stay and whatever happens, happens.”
She nods. “Okay, there’s no point stressing when there may be nothing to stress about.” She reaches for her clothes and starts to pull them on. I do the same. “As much as I’d love for you to stay here tonight, we can’t. I don’t want Sloane to be confused. I need the two of you to forge your own relationship before we add ours to the mix.”
Once I’m dressed, I move over to her and pull her to me. “I want nothing more than to spend the night with you in my arms, but I agree about not confusing Sloane.”
She nods against my chest, “Sloane is my world and she’ll always come first. Her well-being is my priority, and I want you, Sax. I want us to be a couple, better than ever. But there’ll be no sleep overs.”
I grin, I thought she was going to tell me that she wouldn’t let us be a couple, but she surprises me at every turn. “No sleep overs doesn’t mean no sex, right?”
She laughs, “I don’t think I could go without you anymore.”
I kiss her, my tongue tangling with hers, my hands gripping her ass. “I’m going to finally order that pizza.” She giggles, “I need to feed you.”
Saxon
“Bran,” I say once Briar and Sloane leave the house, I need to talk to him about what went down when I was gone and also about Lila.
Bri’s changed these past few days. She’s freer, while there’s still some reservations about me and what’s going to come, she’s not pushing me away. I’m pressing harder to ensure that I get what I want. Her. I’m going to prove that I’m not going to fuck up again, that I’m not leaving.
“Yeah?” Brandon however, isn’t happy. If the tables were turned, I’d be the same. I messed Bri up badly and Bran was the one who had to pick up the pieces.
“She told me what happened when I left.” His eyes widen at my words, “If I had known, I would have come home.”
I watch as his jaw tenses. “You shouldn’t have fucking left in the first place.” He growls, “You have no fucking idea what it’s like to watch your sister waste away in front of you.”
My stomach tightens at his words.
“She was fucking skin and bones. Even though she was almost three months pregnant at that stage. She had no fucking idea as she was so sick.” His eyes fill with tears and I turn away, not wanting him to see mine. “I had to break the fucking door down to get in. No one had seen her in over a week, she wasn’t answering my calls or texts.”
“Tell me,” I demand, I want to know it all.
“I walked into her bedroom and she was so fucking fragile, she couldn’t hold her head up as she looked at me. Fuck, she couldn’t even hold her eyes open she didn’t have the energy. She was wasting away, unable to keep anything down. I’m not sure how she managed to survive but she did.” The emotion in his voice guts me. “She was in hospital for a day, a fucking day and had a panic attack, I had to bring her home. I wasn’t going to lose her, and thankfully, having me here helped her. She got stronger, better, and she started living again.”
“You gave up everything.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. He was on his way to become a lawyer, getting out of this fucking town, moving on to bigger and better things.
He glares at me, his lips turning up in disgust as he does. “You stupid son-of-a-bitch. You don’t abandon those you love.”
&nbs
p; It’s a direct hit. One that I take, because I deserve it.
“Every fucking day for the past five years, Bri has been a constant thought. Do you think it was easy for me to leave? Hmm, do you really believe that I made that decision lightly? That I upped and left the fucking love of my life on a whim?” I shake my head, “You may not like me, Brandon, but your sister has and will always be the woman I love. I hurt her, fucking destroyed her and I couldn’t live with myself for doing that. So I left, I walked away hoping that me not being here was the right thing.”
His expression doesn’t change, “You’re a fucking coward. You left Bri to deal with the consequences of your actions and in doing so, almost killed her.”
The door slams behind us and I know who it is without even turning. Briar.
“Brandon.” Her voice is soft but there’s also a reprimand in it. “I love you, I truly do, you are my brother and my best friend. My rock when I needed it, but it's not Sax’s fault.”
Brandon scoffs, his eyes shooting daggers at me. “Briar, you and Sloane mean the world to me, I’m always going to support you. But where he’s concerned you’ve got fucking blinders on. You don’t see this shit clearly.” He’s gaze darting between me and his sister. “If he hadn’t have gone to that damn fucking party and fucked that bitch, none of this would have happened. So yes, it is Saxon’s fault.”
“Bran…” She begins.
“No, don’t.” His voice cracks, “I can’t do this shit again, Bri. I can’t watch him break you.” His mouth tightens. “If he leaves or fucks up, I’m not sure you’ll survive.”
And this is why he hates me. He thinks I’m going to disappear again, that if I do, he’s going to lose Briar.
“I know,” she whispers. “I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to wake up and find him gone,” she confesses and I feel as though the ground is shifting beneath my feet. I should have known things wouldn’t have been this easy. “I wake up in cold sweats after nightmares of what happened.”
Bad Boy (The All American Boy Series) Page 6