The Search for Ulyssa

by Heidi J. Leavitt

  “The whole trip will be over before you know it. While I’ll be bored out of my mind for the next few days,” Kelly said cheerfully as she tapped at the panel on the side of Kendra’s capsule. “Could be worse, though. A portal jaunt to Zenith is a breeze. I’ve made deep space treks a couple of times, and that means months of nothing but ship life.

  “There. You’re all set. See you on the other side, Kendra.” Kelly’s last few words were muffled as the lid slid into place and locked. Kendra started to take deep breaths, wondering when she would fade out, when Dina shrieked.

  Ulyssa is trying to latch on to me to come with us! Push her away!

  Kendra felt it—it was like something sharp hooked into her mind.

  Help me! Dina sounded frantic.

  I don’t know what to do!

  Build a wall! Like you do to keep me out!

  Kendra mentally started stacking bricks, forcing Dina’s consciousness away. She pictured the hook, blocked around it, and then started to squeeze. She could feel the alien presence squirming, and then it was suddenly gone.

  Kendra let go of the wall and the tension and inhaled deeply. The gas in the capsule immediately made her start to feel woozy. In a second she was going to be out.

  Dina, is she gone?

  All of a sudden, there was a new presence. This presence seemed to swirl around her and then it was in her head, probing every corner of her thoughts and desires. Layers of memories rose to the surface—twirling in her ball gown, Bren’s surprise kiss, laughing wildly with Tiran on her bed, sitting through Denicorizen classes while bored and frustrated, hugging her parents before she left for Corizen, a tearful fight with her father over whether or not she could come home to Tarentino, the day she stranded the oxyrhina and lost her home, and finally a young girl standing in the midst of raging wind and lightning strikes as a ship tumbled into an enormous crack in the ground. Kendra couldn’t tell if hours were passing or only seconds. She felt stripped bare, all her faults and her most precious emotions on display while a stranger silently observed. She didn’t feel any hatred from the stranger, like she had felt before with Ulyssa.

  Just watchful probing.

  All of a sudden, there was a new voice. It was quiet but deep, and it shook her to her core.

  TAKE THIS ONE HOME, it said.

  The mental hook was suddenly back, deeper and stronger, so tightly bound into her mind that her eyes flew open in terror. She tried to raise her arms, hoping to claw her way out of her medical capsule or attract Kelly’s attention, but the lid was tightly in place and her arms were too heavy to lift, and Kelly was nowhere in sight through the transparent lid. The presence she now recognized as Ulyssa had returned, only this time she wasn’t hateful or gloating, she was panicking too, and Kendra couldn’t push her out. Dina was there, frantically trying to soothe both of them, but Kendra knew that there wasn’t room for three of them, her mind was going to snap, she was going to lose herself, she was going to go raving mad. She sucked in a large breath to scream again . . . and everything faded before she could let it out.

  18. Stasis Dreams

  She was floating.

  Floating in a gentle sea, small swells lifting her up and down. Kendra didn’t open her eyes, but she felt herself relaxing. She was home, back in Tarentino Bay, spending a day in the cove. She could almost smell the salty air as the warm currents swirled around. She wanted to savor the peace. How long had it been since she had been able to truly let go of all her burdens and just . . . be?

  It couldn’t last, of course. One of the boys would splash her, or maybe her brother would try to pull her under the water. But she would enjoy this moment of blissful solitude as long as she could.

  But where was Dina?

  Kendra’s eyes snapped open. Or at least she thought her eyes snapped open. But she wasn’t in Tarentino. She was floating in an endless pool of gray. The sky above her—if it could be called a sky—was a deep shade of purple. No clouds, no stars, nothing. She wanted to turn over and start swimming, but she found she couldn’t move.

  This had to be a dream.

  But it felt so real. Except that she was alone in her head. She couldn’t feel Dina at all.

  She turned her head to the side and saw a ball of amber light bobbing not far away. When she swiveled her head to the side, she could see another ball of light, only this one was a brilliant emerald green. Both were close, but not quite close enough to reach.

  What would happen if she touched one? She moved her eyes from the amber light to the emerald one. Which one to try? After a moment, she could feel the emerald one calling to her. It sounded friendly. In fact, something about the emerald one smelled familiar. It wasn’t a smell, exactly, but that was the best way her mind could describe it. Her senses weren’t the same here, wherever she was.

  She tried to reach toward the emerald light with her fingers, but she couldn’t move any part of her body beyond her head and neck. Her fingers wouldn’t even twitch, and she couldn’t twist her hips, let alone move her legs. It should have panicked her, this immobility, but curiously, she couldn’t manage to feel anything but calm. Everything smelled familiar. Like home. Like safety.

  Kendra continued to float like that for a time, though whether it was a short time or a long time, she couldn’t say. She closed her eyes again and just allowed herself to breathe. Eventually, she opened her eyes again. The sky had brightened to a pale peach, though she couldn’t see a sun or any other source of illumination. She checked on the emerald ball of light. It still bobbed just out of reach, and Kendra could sense the light’s yearning. It wanted to join her. But she couldn’t reach it. On the other side, the amber light ball had drifted slightly closer to Kendra, and now she could sense it too.

  This one wasn’t so pleasant. She could feel terror and anger and a strange craving. It repelled her. The amber one didn’t want Kendra anywhere near, though she didn’t know how she knew that. Now a tiny seed of fear sprouted within, and Kendra started to struggle. Her limbs still didn’t respond to her mental flailing, and she tried to calm her breathing. It was going to be OK. The amber ball wasn’t going to reach her. She was out of reach and unable to move. It was going to be all right.

  She’d almost convinced herself when she saw the swelling wave. It had peaks of foamy white along the crest, and it was barreling right toward her. Her fear blossomed into full-fledged panic, and she desperately threw her head side to side, hoping for some momentum, some way to move. She might as well have been trying to swim while in stasis.

  I’m in stasis, she suddenly realized. I’m dreaming in stasis. There’s nothing to worry about. None of this is real.

  Then the wave crashed into her, throwing her into contact with the amber ball of light.

  And her dream world exploded with agony.

  ♦

  The emotional turmoil seemed to toss Kendra one way and another. So much anger, so much despair. A hostility that wanted to smother her spark of life. This time Kendra recognized the distinct presence of Dina’s twinspark. Ulyssa pushed into Kendra’s memories, gouging and pushing and clawing. Memories swam before Kendra’s eyes, usually of times when she and Dina had laughed together, when Dina had comforted Kendra while she had cried, when Dina and Kendra had joined together and manipulated the energy of the world around them. It was nothing like the gentle probing from the powerful presence before they left Corizen. This was harsh, ripping, an enemy tearing out all the experiences that meant something to Kendra. Every shared experience that bound her tightly to Dina.

  A surge of jealousy left Kendra breathless.

  The hostility thickened and slowed and turned into halting thoughts that Kendra could just barely understand.

  I hate you.

  The tone was so similar to Dina and yet so different. Kendra swallowed her panic and tried to speak back.

  Ulyssa?

  You took ev
erything from me.

  Where is Dina? Why can’t I hear her?

  Another surge of anger in response. Ulyssa seemed to be struggling to come up with words that Kendra could understand. She wasn’t sure the other isithunzi even realized that she was speaking to Kendra.

  Destroyers. Murderers, she hissed.

  I haven’t murdered anyone, Kendra protested.

  Your kind invaded. You took him from us.

  I don’t have any idea what you are talking about.

  And then you stole my other half. You stole her, and she loves you. The hatred surged again. Kendra tried to pull away. She tried to build a mental wall, like Dina had urged before, but Ulyssa just knocked it back down. She seemed to press deeper into Kendra’s mind, searching, sifting through her thoughts. Kendra flinched, wanting to pull away, trapped and unable to fight off Ulyssa’s invasive delving.

  A mocking sense of triumph. She had found something in Kendra’s own mind she found terribly amusing.

  You don’t know the truth about your family—and mine. There was a sense of vicious glee.

  Watch and learn the truth, destroyer.

  ♦

  Kendra plunged into a world of light and color and emotion. She couldn’t feel anything—even the sensation of gently floating in a sea vanished. She couldn’t see, at least not in any way she was used to seeing. She couldn’t smell or hear anything either. Mentally, she started to panic. It was too foreign, and too much, these waves of strange energy battering her consciousness. Was this Ulyssa’s mind? Kendra yanked away, trying fruitlessly to force a separation. But Ulyssa pulled her tighter, refusing to let her go. Just as she thought her mind would break under the strain, Kendra’s thoughts intertwined with Ulyssa’s in a way that was vaguely like the memories that she shared with Dina. The tiny thread of familiarity was enough—she grasped it desperately, clinging to her sanity.

  The colors and emotions resolved into pictures that Kendra’s mind could process, and she drew a shaky breath.

  She could see again.

  Kendra was on a planet. Possibly Zenith, though she couldn’t be sure. Fields of golden grain rippled in the wind, and the sky above was blue and cloudless. The sun was behind her, casting long shadows from the cluster of wooden structures below. Structures? Below her?

  Startled, Kendra realized she was hovering over a village. People rushed around below her.

  Awkward, ugly, frail creatures. We don’t need them here. Dina’s tone of voice was distinct, though Kendra realized she wasn’t exactly hearing the words. Her mind was translating the emotions into something she could understand.

  Our sire believes in them. Ulyssa’s thoughts floated in response, the tone more curious than anything. She sounded like a completely different person, pleasant even.

  Dina? Kendra asked hesitantly.

  There was no response.

  Our sire is blinded by the connection he shares. They are invaders. They will ruin us. Dina sounded angry.

  Dina, what’s going on? she tried again. Dina didn’t respond to her, didn’t so much as acknowledge her presence. Kendra realized with a shock that she was hearing a remembered conversation between Dina and her twinspark that had happened before Kendra was born. Before she had bonded to Dina.

  These humans will not ruin us. They will kill the other humans as our sire has commanded, Ulyssa protested.

  Dina gave a mental huff. Our sire’s pet humans are not even good enough for that. Look, their dwellings are surrounded, and they will need our help to escape again.

  Kendra followed Ulyssa’s gaze up the hill on the far side of the village. She could see the sunlight glinting off metal ships. Armada ships.

  Armada ships surrounding a village? Humans who would kill other humans at the command of a shadow like Dina?

  Was this the Roran Uprising? Where the followers of Konrad Roran had killed more than a thousand other people? She mentally shook herself. It wasn’t possible. Dina couldn’t have been at the Roran Uprising. She wouldn’t have been part of a massacre. Would she?

  See? Dina said in morose satisfaction. He calls us.

  A sudden desire to sweep down to the village filled Kendra, tugging her insubstantial form toward it. She wondered if she was seeing things from Ulyssa’s perspective. This was, after all, her memory, wasn’t it?

  As they drew closer, Kendra realized that she could see a group of soldiers coming down the hill toward the village. Down near the village, people rushed from the buildings. Some of the people were trailed by glowing orbs. Ulyssa called out in greeting, and Kendra felt the return greetings. They didn’t come in words—not like the conversation with Dina. But she understood them all the same. There were other isithunzi here, and some of them were assigned to certain humans in the village below.

  Jealousy surged through Kendra, and it took her a moment to realize that she was sharing Ulyssa’s past emotions too. She envied the shadows flitting around the villagers.

  Maybe now our sire will give us our own humans to shadow, Ulyssa said hopefully.

  Dina’s responding emotion was disgust. We’re still too young. Besides, I’d rather cease to exist.

  Don’t say such a thing! Ulyssa was horrified.

  They joined a mass of other orbs in the air above the village. Kendra was shocked to see just how many isithunzi there were. As a child she had learned about other isithunzi, but she had believed there were only a handful. There were thousands of them here. Why had Dina never said anything?

  The soldiers reached the outskirts of the village, and Kendra watched warily as a small group of villagers approached them. Ulyssa was not interested in listening to the humans, and Kendra strained to make out the conversation. She couldn’t hear anything beyond the low murmur of voices.

  I think our sire has changed, Dina said. He thinks more like a human now. His human pulls too strongly. It makes him weak.

  You’re wrong, Ulyssa protested. He’s not weak! Bonding a human has made our sire more powerful than any isithunzi ever. What other sire has ever commanded the elements as he does, let alone the other isithunzi?

  “Konrad Roran!” a soldier below them suddenly shouted. “Surrender yourself and your people will be allowed to peacefully remain in their homes!”

  The village went dead silent. The rushing villagers froze where they were and listened, many of them looking around fearfully. Kendra held her breath, but no one stepped forward claiming to be Konrad Roran.

  The soldier shouted one last time. “This is your last chance!”

  Kendra realized that she could sense the approaching soldiers. They were closing in on the village on all sides, though she couldn’t see them. They were keeping out of view, but she could sense their energy creeping steadily closer to the village.

  They are almost here, Ulyssa said. Anticipation bubbled through her. He will need us any moment.

  Suddenly a man stepped from a house in the center of the village, shining so brightly with energy that Kendra flinched. He glowed like a beacon, eclipsing the early morning sunlight. None of the humans seemed to notice him, but all of the floating orbs above him started to drift in his direction. Kendra could feel the pull too. She was being called—or Ulyssa was.

  Our sire! Ulyssa called hopefully. Kendra felt the emotion shoot straight out toward the glowing man—Ulyssa was begging for a chance to disrupt the invaders.

  There was a weighty pause, and then a new voice spoke. Go. Protect my humans, the deep voice thrummed.

  The pull toward the glowing man snapped, and Kendra gasped with relief. But only for a moment. She just had time to guess that the glowing man had to be Konrad Roran before Ulyssa was dragging her into the village, wild with exultation.

  Suddenly, gunfire erupted from the upper stories of the crude houses, peppering the soldiers who were trying to sneak into the village. Screams shattered the stillness, and
chaos erupted. Soldiers returned fire, villagers ran for cover, and wind started to whip dust into eddies that swirled toward the edges of the village. Ulyssa swooped right up to a soldier who was crouched behind a bush, aiming his gun at a nearby house. She passed right into him, and Kendra’s mind reeled, disoriented and sick. Ulyssa projected waves of fear and a strong desire to hide, and Kendra whimpered, unable to jerk away. The soldier cringed, then lowered his weapon. Ulyssa threw out stronger jabs of pure terror, and the soldier dropped his gun and curled up, covering his head with his hands.

  Stop! screamed Kendra. Please stop!

  But Ulyssa only cackled and swept away, moving on to the next soldier.

  Around them, a storm was brewing. The wind was blowing ferociously, and the soldiers staggered drunkenly, unable to keep their footing. The only villagers still outside were fighting back—some had weapons and charged the soldiers recklessly, heedless of their own safety. A sudden fork of lightning struck a house in the center of the village, and it exploded into flame.

  Ulyssa was not bothered by the commotion in the least. She found another soldier and followed him, trying to project her fear. Either he was too brave to give in to Ulyssa’s swamp of terror or too distracted by all that was going around to care. He kept pounding through the streets, shouting into a communicator for his captain. Ulyssa pursued him doggedly until a small crowd of children stumbled out of a house right in front of them, followed by a glowing orb.

  Kendra felt the command from the other isithunzi—they were to calm the children and guide them out of the village. Ulyssa bristled impatiently. She wanted to attack the invaders, not herd humans! But the other isithunzi insisted sternly, pressing his will against Ulyssa’s, and she relented. She moved down to the little girl who was shouting for her mother and urged her to flee out of the village. Kendra added her own silent urging, noting anxiously that the fire was spreading from house to house—the violent wind catching embers and flinging them into the brittle wood shingled roofs.