And I still had no idea if this was right, letting her into our lives, giving her a chance to be a mother.
She’d gone to dance with Frankie twice, done everything I’d let her, taking her to the park, playing with her every chance she got, even though every time they were in the same room, I wanted to rip my hair out.
But she was trying.
Shouldn’t I?
“You might say that,” I told her.
She pressed both her hands on my knees and leaned up, her voice going quiet when she reached for the fly of my jeans. “Then let me take the bad away. Let me take care of you. Please, Rex, let me take care of you.”
I groaned, head rocking back on the top of the sofa, breath a hiss on my tongue.
Frankie and Rynna.
37
Rynna
I paced my kitchen.
I felt as if I were stuck in limbo.
A path set out ahead of me that I didn’t yet know how to take. Stuck in a purgatory of worry and jealousy and loss. A shimmery anger that lit up at the edges where it kept me enclosed.
Helpless.
And helpless was the last thing I wanted to be.
Milo was asleep on his bed in the corner, and I shuffled around in my kitchen, trying to distract myself from it. Maybe baking would give me a little clarity. Insight to the right decision. A calm in the midst of the worst kind of disturbance that still rattled my walls.
I tried to reject the shiver of unease that slipped down my spine, still unable to shake the idea that someone had been in my house when I was away.
Wondering if it was just me being foolish—jealous and petty and needy—or if the foolish part was me ignoring it.
Gramma had told me to always, always trust my gut.
But my guts were tied in one of those impossible knots. The kind where you couldn’t tell what was what, where one loop started and another ended.
“Gramma . . . I wish you were here. You would know what to do,” I murmured under my breath, pulling the ingredients for an apple pie from the pantry and refrigerator. Night pressed in at the window, the globe light on the ceiling a hazy hue of yellow that lit the dated kitchen.
I had just set everything on the counter when I stilled.
A prickle of awareness flashed up the nape of my neck. Though this was an entirely different kind of fear.
This was hope and excitement and the worst kind of confusion. Sucking in a breath, I took a step backward and craned my head out the arch and into the living room.
Listening.
Silence echoed back. But that silence was thick. Weighted. Heavy.
Like a tether was tied around my waist and anchored in my belly.
Drawing me closer.
I edged across the room, my footsteps subdued, my breaths shallow when I inched toward the door.
One solid knock rattled against it.
It rang out like a call.
A beckoning.
A plea.
My hand was trembling when I reached for the lock. Maybe it made me a fool, but I twisted it, anyway. The scrape of metal pierced the bottled quiet. For a flash, I squeezed my eyes closed before I turned the knob and pulled open the door.
He was there.
Standing on my deck.
A scatter of stars stretched across the heavens above, and gusts of wind whipped up the long pieces of his hair, his expression pained where his face was cast in a haze of milky moonlight.
A perfect picture of hope and despair.
It was instant, the way tears streaked free from my eyes.
“Rex.”
His hands were balled into fists, jaw clenched, eyes hard.
Dominant and dangerous and somehow chained by all his doubt.
Energy lashed. Whipping and inciting.
Compelling.
And God, I wanted to fight. Fight with him for lying to me. Fight for him because I wanted him so badly. Fight for what was right. The problem was, I wasn’t certain of exactly what that was.
Rex’s nostrils flared, and we stood there staring at each other. Captives to all those questions that bounded between us. Coming faster and faster and faster.
I saw the second he finally snapped. He pushed across the threshold, on me in a flash, the heat of his strong body lighting me up like a furnace.
My heart fluttered and drummed.
He wound a big hand in my hair, tugging, forcing me to look up at him.
“Little Thief.”
The accusation was gravel, and I sucked in a staggered breath. It only drew him deeper, his presence sinking in, penetrating every cell. Emotion swelled just as the pain of my past went rushing through my veins. A raging river that threatened to drown.
The fact of who Janel was. What she’d done.
I gasped over a cry. Unable to keep it in any longer.
“I married her, Rynna, I married her, and I knew all along, I shouldn’t. Maybe I was ashamed to admit it to you or maybe I was just afraid of your reaction when you found out I hadn’t severed it. But I promise, I promise you I was going to. When I told you I needed to get some things in my life in order, that’s what I was referring to. Ending that marriage like I should have years before.”
Another cry wrenched free.
He took my face in his big hands, fingers in my hair. “Rynna . . . baby . . . Rynna. Don’t cry.” He was kissing me through a tumble of frantic words he mumbled at my mouth. “I’m right here. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I told her to go. I told her I was leaving and would be back in an hour and she and her things needed to be gone when I got back. I told her, Rynna. I told her my heart belongs to you, even if you won’t take it. But I want you to. I’m gonna fight for you, Rynna. I’m not giving us up. Not ever. You and me . . . we’re what’s right.”
I choked over a cry, and he kissed me deeper. The only thing I wanted to do was succumb.
Get lost in this man.
In his presence and his power and his overwhelming heart.
Another ripping sob tore from my throat. Unstoppable. Wounds fresh and raw. Too much. “It hurts so bad, Rex. I didn’t mean for it to. I thought I was over it. Bigger than it. And it’s right there. I don’t know how to handle what happened. It’s just . . . I think about it and it hurts all over again.”
Framing my face in his hands, he edged back, confusion a flash across those striking features. “What are you talking about, baby?”
A car engine churned to life from across the street. A reminder of who we were and what we were battling.
I could hear the car crunch on gravel as it backed up, accelerate when it took to the street.
Janel. I knew it was her. It only made me cry harder.
“Janel,” I hiccupped over her name.
He looked over his shoulder. “I’ve been outside pacing your lot for the last hour. I came home tonight, thinking that was the only thing I could do. Condemn myself. Walk away from you and pretend like this thing we’ve got doesn’t matter. I almost gave in because I thought it might be the right thing to do. But it’s not, Rynna. It’s not, because you and me? We’re what’s right. I’m not willing to settle or turn my back or act like I’m not dying for you. I walked out on her and right to you. And this whole time, I’ve been trying to get up the courage. Trying to find the words to convince you that we’re what’s right. Please, Rynna. Please put me out of this misery. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you, too.”
“Janel.” Another whimper, and I knew I wasn’t making any sense, because none of this situation did.
“She doesn’t matter to me, Rynna. I promise you. Yes, I was waiting for her all those years. Stayed loyal because I had some messed-up notion that one day she was going to come back, and it was on me to keep our family intact. And then there you were, Rynna. My second chance. You changed everything. You became my loyalty. My heart. You and my Frankie. That’s all I need.”
“Janel hated me, Rex. She hated me so much. And what she did . . . I don’t know how to get p
ast it. Forgive her and move on, because I know she’s going to be a part of Frankie’s life.”
He jerked back, holding my face tighter. “What?”
A ramble of incoherent words slid free. “Janel . . . she was the one who hated me so much. I think I pushed you away, clung to your omission, because of her. Not sure how I could handle the fact that the two of you had been together. So I tried . . . tried to hope that she’d changed. For your sake. For Frankie’s sake. But I don’t—”
“What did you just say?” Rex’s words were a growl, menacing and fierce. His demeanor shifted in a flash. From pleading to completely on edge.
“Janel. Janel’s the one who’s responsible for what happened to me. She set the whole thing up. She had Aaron pretend like he wanted to date me. I didn’t know she was your wife, Frankie’s mom. I didn’t know until I opened that door.”
Rex blew back like he’d been struck by a bomb. “Aaron? Aaron who?”
I blinked at him. Aaron didn’t matter in the end. “Aaron Reed.”
Shock blanketed his face before it turned into panic. He began to pace, back and forth, ripping at handfuls of hair. “Fuck. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I knew it.”
I reached for him, his frenzy breaking into mine. “Calm down, Rex. What’s wrong?”
“Aaron Reed used to be my business partner.” His head shook through his stupor. “He and Janel . . . they acted like they didn’t know each other. But he was at the bar with me across town the night I met her. He was the one who’d suggested that bar to meet up at after work. He was the one who noticed her . . .” Rex whipped around, grabbing me by the arms. I wasn’t sure who he was steadying—me or himself. “He pushed me toward her. Told me to go for it. That she looked exactly like my type. And Janel . . . she was instantly all over me. Like . . . she’d been expecting me.”
He pulled away, back to gripping fistfuls of hair. “They were together the whole time, weren’t they?”
Rex punched an aimless fist into the air. “Fuck. They were together the whole goddamned time, and I didn’t have the first clue. Or maybe I did.”
His gaze dropped to the floor, his head shaking as if he were adding it all up. “When Aaron was arrested for embezzling from the company, there was something off. I got this feeling . . . this feeling that there was something more to the whole thing. That he couldn’t have been acting alone. All those documents that had been tampered with. The money that had gone missing.”
“Oh God.” I pressed my hand over my mouth.
Rex looked at me. Panic streaked through his expression. “She left the day before he went to jail, Rynna. He got his sentence, and I thought things were finally going to be okay, and then I got home to find Janel leaving me.”
“Oh God,” I said again. “Aaron . . . he was outside the diner this evening. About a week ago, too. He said something about me getting in Janel’s way.”
Rex stared at me for a beat before his eyes went wide. Then he was bolting out the door and flying across the street.
38
Rex
I sprinted across the street, taking the porch steps in two bounding leaps. I barreled through the front door. I had no clue what I was even searching for, but an overwhelming anxiety pushed me forward.
I’d felt nothing but relief when I’d heard her car taking off ten or fifteen minutes ago. But right then? Nothing made sense. Everything I’d thought I’d known as truth had only been some kind of twisted fabrication. All these years, and I’d fucking thought I’d done something wrong. Neglected Janel. Didn’t treat her well enough. Didn’t give her enough time. Made her feel less than worthy. Because in truth, in my heart, she’d never been.
Had every second of it been a set up?
My eyes darted around the room, hunting for anything that might be amiss. Dishes littered the kitchen from the dinner Janel had been preparing, the trash bin out in the middle of the floor, pork chops dumped inside. Like she was pissed at me for suddenly sending her away.
That, I understood.
The idea that she might have been an accomplice to the bullshit Aaron had pulled all those years ago I did not.
I couldn’t grasp it. Accept it. But the truth of it rang out in my consciousness. A promise she was guilty. That she’d been using me all along.
Anger spiraled, and I clenched my teeth, turning to head down the hall, going directly for my room.
It was just like I’d expected. It was torn apart. Ransacked. The contents of all the drawers were dumped out onto the floor in a mad search for anything of value.
Blankets pulled from the bed, mattress shoved to the side, the small safe hidden under the bed gone.
“Bitch,” I seethed.
I should have known.
I should have known better than to let her back into my damn house. Into our lives so she could just turn around and make another mess of it. But honestly, the only thing that mattered right then was the fact she was gone. I’d gladly accept the loss of the bit of cash in that safe if it meant Janel was eradicated from our lives.
A plague eliminated.
Extinguished.
“Rex!” Rynna’s scream flooded my ears. I pushed back out of my room and into the hall.
She was at Frankie’s door, her hand pressed to her mouth, the girl staring inside.
For a beat, I froze in terror.
Frankie.
I sprang into action. Rynna stumbled out of my way when I rounded the doorway. I jerked to a stop in my daughter’s room.
In a fleeting glance, you’d think nothing was out of order, her bed made and her stuffed animals still lined against her pillows.
But the closet—clothes were pulled from the hangers and some of her shoes were gone. Frantic, I rushed for Frankie’s dresser. The drawers . . . they were empty.
The worst kind of terror took hold of me.
All the fears I’d ever had of losing my child rose to the surface.
Rising above.
Pulling me under.
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
My hands were shaking when I dug into my pocket for my phone. It was already ringing before I had the chance to dial, my mom’s name lit on the screen.
I answered it, and every part of me twisted in two.
My mother . . . she was screaming. Screaming and screaming and screaming. “She’s gone. I don’t know where she is, Rex. She’s not here. Frankie’s gone.”
39
Rynna
Jenny Gunner’s cries poured through the phone. Begging and screaming and weeping.
And Rex? Oh God, Rex made an inhuman noise. Wailed this wail that came from his soul.
Agonized.
Devastated.
Crushed.
It reverberated from the walls and pummeled through my senses.
I wound my arm around my stomach as if it might staunch the pain that split me from the inside.
Frankie Leigh.
I could feel my heart shredding at the same second my spirit moaned.
I should have done something, said something earlier.
My fault. All of this was my fault.
Right from the beginning. I should have stayed that first night when Janel had cut me apart. I should have stood my ground and stood up for myself. Exposed Janel for who she really was.
But I’d let her get away with her sins as if they hadn’t been committed at all.
Rex spouted a bunch of incoherent words to his mother before he ended that call, quick to dial 9-1-1. I could hear the moment the operator came on.
Rex had made another switch, pulling himself from the spiral of torment. His shoulders rolled back and determination set on his face. Refusing to allow his worst fears to happen. His voice was gritted—direct and hard—as he quickly relayed the information to the operator. Her name. The make and model of her car. Description of both her and Frankie. The last time both of them had been seen.
Then he ended the call and came striding across the room and into the hall, all po
wer and barely contained intensity. He grabbed me by the outside of my shoulders, his voice a plea. “Stay here, Rynna. In case they come back, stay here. Have your phone ready to call 9-1-1.” He gave a gentle shake. “Okay?”
“Of course,” I told him, but the words were barely a breath. He pressed his lips to my forehead and then he was gone, the only trace of him the sound of him gunning his truck and it roaring down the street.
Silence swooped in like a cold, steely drape. Clamoring against the walls and trembling across the floors.
Ominous and foreboding.
I wrung my fingers, and my feet took the hall. Back and forth. Back and forth. Desperate to do something. Intuition promised there was no chance Janel would come back here.
My mind rolled. I couldn’t quiet it, the way images flashed and blipped, the way voices murmured as if someone were right there, whispering them in my ear.
Jenny Gunner’s words when she’d come to Pepper’s Pies.
“Don’t really know a time she lived in this town when she didn’t work for your grandma. From what I know, she started out when she was in high school.”
My mind flashed to Aaron on the street, the way he’d been peeking in the window.
“Always in Janel’s way, aren’t you?”
All of it spun and spun. Winding to a sum.
That thread of awareness finally took hold.
It’d hadn’t been by chance that Aaron was outside the diner, peering in. It wasn’t out of curiosity or the interest of an old restaurant reopening.
He’d been spying. Wondering exactly what was going on inside.
A slow chill trickled down my spine.
Freezing ice.
Cold.
It seeped into every cell. I could barely breathe. Lungs heaving around it, breaking its bindings, I fumbled for my phone. I was already racing out the door and across the street when I put it to my ear.
Rex’s phone went straight to voice mail.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 29