“Sure it is, Shortcake. You made my day.”
She just stood there, staring at me, strawberries and cream and all things sweet.
I sent her one last smile before I spun on my heel and headed for the door. All this shit on the tip of my tongue. I pulled the handle, and the door opened to the sound of the bell jingling overhead.
My guts twisted in the same second I was spinning back around, striding to the counter in a flash. Faster than I could process just what it was I actually thought I was doing.
“Go out with me.”
Startled, Hope blinked in surprise, her pretty mouth trembling at the edges. “I . . .”
“Just dinner.”
What the fuck?
I hadn’t asked anyone to dinner in . . .
I slammed a lid on the thought, hammered it down with a bunch of rusted nails, swallowed hard. “Just dinner.”
Head shaking in regret, she took a step back, like she needed to put space between us. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She was completely, one hundred percent right. It was a terrible idea. But fuck . . . I wanted it.
I let a grin tweak up one side of my lips. “How could hanging out with me ever be considered a bad idea?”
That stunning face flushed again, an affected smile wobbling around her delicious mouth. That was right before a sorrowful kind of regret took hold of her features. “I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. It wouldn’t be right.”
I nodded around the impact of the rejection, hating the way it bit and stung. At the same time, I did my best to convince myself it was for the best. I’d just dodged my own damned bullet. Because, really, what was I thinking? “All right, then.”
Awkwardly, I lifted the bag and the coffee in front of me. “Thank you again for these.”
She wrung her fingers. “You’re welcome. I hope you have a really great day at the new job.”
I didn’t respond, just pushed out the door and into the spill of the bright, morning sun, the bell chiming as it swung shut behind me.
I rushed for my car, feeling all kinds of shit I hadn’t felt in such a long time.
The whole way, I wished at least one of those feelings were relief.
4
Hope
“Harley Hope Masterson.”
I jerked my attention from the big window that overlooked the sidewalk running the front of the shop, ripping it from the vacant spot where the sleek, dark gray car had just pulled from the curb.
The driver was nothing but a shadowy silhouette in the blacked-out tinting.
I blinked to clear the daze.
Jenna stood there with her fists propped on her hips.
Turning away, I started scrubbing down the counter where the coffee had dribbled from my shaky hands. Apparently, Kale had that kind of effect on me.
Which was just dangerous business in and of itself.
“Don’t you start on me, Jenna. And you know I hate it when you call me by my full name. You act as if you’re my mama or something.”
“I might as well be because someone needs to knock some sense into you. Hell, I’m gonna call her down here right now so we can tag team you.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” I shot her a death glare. Because seriously, her and Mama? That was what nightmares were made of. “And were you not the one who just gave me the we-have-a-creeper alert?”
I didn’t even need to air quote it. It was an expression Jenna had patented all the way back in high school. The single look told me, “Let’s get the hell out of here,” because she wanted to ditch some guy who was coming on too strong.
It’d recently been translated to, “Send this weirdo packing,” since we opened the shop together two years ago.
“He caught me off guard, that’s all. I mean . . . it was kind of weird that he just showed up here after he was so clearly into you Friday night.”
I shrugged it off. “He’s not into me. I bet he acts like that with every woman he runs across.”
“Um . . . I’m pretty sure he was picturing doing you right there on the counter.” She pointed to where Kale had just had his big hands pressed beside the register. “Maybe while eating one of your cupcakes off your tits. And believe me, he sure as hell wasn’t picturing doing it with me.”
For a second, I got dizzy picturing it before I snapped out of it and slapped at my best friend. “What is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so danged crass all the time?”
“Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking about it. I mean, that man is blistering hot. One touch, and I’d bet you’d go up in flames. That boy would leave a sunburn worse than the summer when we told your mama we had a school camping trip, but we really spent the weekend at Cotton Bayou Beach with our friends.”
I rinsed out the rag, wringing it a little more aggressively than necessary. “And you know that burn nearly killed me. No thank you. I’ve got enough pain in my life. And I’m not exactly free to go chasing after a man who smiles and asks me out.”
“Pssh . . . those papers sitting on your desk say otherwise. You shouldn’t let Asshat’s inability to keep it in his pants keep you from enjoyin’ yourself. It’s his fault you’re here in the first place. It’s time you took time for yourself, Hope.”
Turmoil fisted my heart. Every selfish betrayal meted at Dane’s hand. Thing was, I really didn’t care about the cheating.
“You know him stepping out on me was the least of my concerns.”
I’d actually been relieved to know he’d been seeing other women except for the fact he’d continued to come to me.
It was everything else that made the coil of hate glow hot where it throbbed deep within me. A feeling that was so foreign and gross and wrong I wanted to purge it from my consciousness.
It was there, this ominous cloud that followed me day to day. Just waiting for the downpour.
I got the unsettled feeling after his unexpected visit this weekend that the storm was about to make landfall.
Helplessly, my head shook. “Besides, you know exactly what Dane would do with that information.”
Really, all it would take was one rumor, and Dane’s lawyers would have all the ammo they needed to bury me. Even if that weren’t the case, I wasn’t sure I was ready to make myself vulnerable again, either. If I was ready to open myself up. Once I did, I knew I’d be all in.
She huffed and pointed toward the door. “Tell me you aren’t attracted to him.”
Images flashed.
The man at the bar.
My breath gone.
My stomach twisted and twined in an overpowering kind of desire.
It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in so, so long.
Too long.
I’d loved the way the idea of it had tasted on my tongue.
The way I’d thought about him when I’d crawled into the cold sheets of my bed.
The way I’d touched myself and pretended as if I were finally completely free.
The way butterflies had stormed and scattered and flapped when I’d looked up to find him standing there this morning.
Tall and confident and so damned pretty.
Polished, immaculate chaos.
An epiphany.
“I know you, Hope,” Jenna continued with her badgering, all gall and exasperation. “And you haven’t had a reaction to a man in years. Not since limp dick came weaseling his way into your life when you were twenty.”
I started to refill the sectioned basket next to the register with napkins and coffee stirrers. “It doesn’t change anything, Jenna.” I lifted a droll brow. “And I’m pretty sure his dick being limp was not his problem.”
The problem with Dane was he wasn’t just a dick.
He had an ugly soul.
A warped kind of soul he hadn’t shown me until it was too late.
“Might as well have been with the size of it. Pathetic.” Jenna was fighting a smile. That was just Jenna’s way.
She completely caught me o
ff guard when she suddenly reached out and grabbed me by the outside of my arms, forcing me to face her and giving me a little shake.
“Life’s dealt you some tough blows. I’m not discounting that. But I’m not about to stand aside and watch you forget how to live. That’s what Dane wants. You to be so terrified you don’t know how to live anymore. I refuse to let that happen. Not when you finally got up the courage to leave.”
Emotion clogged my throat and tears burned my eyes. My brow pinched in a pleading way. “I’ve got plenty to live for, Jenna. You know that. And right now, I have to protect it. Please don’t ask me to compromise that.”
Grief struck across her face. “I know that . . . I just . . . the point of you leaving was so he was no longer in control. I don’t want to see you give him any more.”
“He was waiting for me at my house Friday night after I got home from your party,” I admitted way too fast.
Shock slammed into Jenna’s expression before twisting into anger. “That bastard. What did he want?”
Bitter laughter tumbled free. “What he always wants. His way. To look like he has a perfect little wife and a perfect family. I told him there was no chance of that ever happening. Now I just have to make sure I’m smart enough to keep that promise a reality.”
I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be the greatest fight of my life.
Both of us jumped when the bell above the door jingled with a new customer.
It was just past six thirty, right when it typically got busy with people grabbing coffee and a quick bite to eat on the way to work.
I angled my head and gave her a smile that promised I was okay. “It’s about to get busy . . . let’s do this.”
5
Kale
After our morning meeting, I reviewed the few patients I would actually be seeing today. The whole time, I’d been trying to shuck the memories of Hope from this morning. Doing my best to rid myself of the impression she’d left on me, this feeling that I’d stumbled upon something significant when I knew better.
I didn’t have time to allow myself to get wrapped up in someone, and if I spent any more time with her, I got the feeling that I just might.
I needed to focus on what was important.
Why I was there.
The reason I lived my life.
When I signed on at Gingham Lakes Children’s Center, I already understood the load I would be carrying.
The burden I was accepting.
My patients would run the gamut, almost a reverse referral system from specialists who wanted their patients seen in-house for continuity. From easily controlled chronic illnesses that families barely considered once they walked out these doors, to the kids whose entire worlds revolved around their diagnoses.
Some of these kids? They were sick. Really fucking sick.
Looking at the scope of cases I’d be seeing broke pieces inside of me I tried to pretend didn’t exist.
Quadriplegia.
Cystic fibrosis.
Cancer.
I knew this was where I’d been being called all along.
But what made me almost stumble in my damn tracks was my first patient.
My first patient.
Of course.
Life was only a test, right?
As hard as I tried to stop the onslaught of memories, it was no use. They were there.
Emergency room lights glared from overhead. Panic. Fear. Compression after compression after compression. That fucking flat line.
I swallowed it all down. Knew this wasn’t even close to being the same, but it didn’t mean every single goddamned time I was presented with a heart patient of any kind, I didn’t crumble a little.
The reminder that I’d failed.
That I’d never be the hero.
God knew that I got up every single day and tried anyway.
I took a second to get myself under control before I gave a couple small taps to the door then pushed it open.
Josiah Washington.
An eight-year-old with a congenital heart defect. The defect had been fairly simple to treat with a balloon stent procedure when he was an infant. The boy was living without symptoms and bi-yearly cardiology visits.
See.
Not even close.
I shut down the shudder that rattled in my ribcage and put on a smile, introduced myself to him and his father, and went through the typical questions of any patient establishing care.
By the time I was in the middle of his exam, I knew without a doubt that this was in fact what I was supposed to do.
The kid so cool. Laughing. Joking. Living the happy kind of life every kid deserved.
“Are you pulling my leg right now? I think you’re really just making this up because you were picturing yourself behind one of those wheels. Looks like we have a future race car driver here,” I told him as he sat there telling me about what he’d witnessed last week that had definitely made an impression on him.
Josiah howled with laughter, holding his stomach as he sat on the edge of the exam table. I was on a low, wheeled stool, sitting right in front of him, basically distracting him as I did his well-child examination.
Everything seemed normal.
Especially his heart, which I’d spent an inordinate amount of time listening to.
Wasn’t about to take any chances.
“Not even. You should have seen it. It was a Ferrari and a Maserati. Both of them floored it at the light, right here in Gingham Lakes. Who has cars like that around here, anyway? Swear, they had to be going at least one fifty. Maybe one sixty. Right, Dad?”
He looked up at his dad for validation. His dad was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, watching protectively over his kid. “You got it, son. Right on the other side of the river at the end of town. Would have called the cops myself had they not disappeared five seconds later. Heck, they probably would have already been crossing the Georgia line by the time I made the call.”
“Whew, they were faaa-ast,” Josiah emphasized with a whistle.
Chuckling, I stood and grabbed the scope so I could peer into his ears. “So what else is it you like to do around here besides for dreaming about racing cars, Mr. Josiah?”
“Me and my best friend, Evan, like to go fishin’ at the lake. Dr. Krane introduced us because we both have bad hearts.”
Mine twisted again. I shoved it down, refusing to go down that path, and continued smiling as I listened to the cute kid go on about his friend. “He goes to a different school, our moms always take us to each other’s houses, so it’s no big deal. And my mom and dad finally let me get Snap,” he said with an annoyed roll of his eyes. “So now we can send messages on our iPads.”
“You know not to accept any requests from anyone you don’t know, right?”
Yeah, I went there. Too many freaks out there to let that one slip by.
He sighed in exasperation. “Of course, I know. My mom told me like a million times.”
“She sounds pretty smart.”
“Yup. Best part about me and Evan?”
“What’s that?”
Josiah grinned. “I’m taller.”
6
Kale
As soon as I left the office, I headed straight for Rex and Rynna’s house. After spending the day meeting some of my new patients, I had this itchy feeling.
Needing to hold my godbabies in my arms. Feel them whole and healthy and strong.
Which was crazy, considering the day had left me feeling more fulfilled than I’d ever imagined and entirely wrecked at the same time.
I pulled into the gravel drive of the family’s little house. The larger house across the street that Rynna had inherited from her grandmother was currently undergoing a full renovation. As soon as it was finished, they’d sell this place and move over there since they needed the room.
I bounded up the porch steps, Milo barking like crazy as he hopped up and pawed at the window.
The door flew ope
n before I even made it there, Frankie Leigh barreling out. The kid was wearing the black tutu I’d given her for her birthday over a pair of shorts and a sweater, her brown hair just as wild and free as her spirit. “Uncle Kale, Uncle Kale! Yous came to see me. What you been doing? I’ve been missing you!”
I scooped her off her feet, tossed her in the air as she squealed with delight. I hugged her close. “I’ve been missing you, too. How’s big girl school?”
“It’s so, so fun! I learned all my letters, and I can write my name. You want to see?”
“You know I do.”
I set her on her feet, and Frankie was rounding the couch and flying down the hall before I closed the door. Rynna was bouncing Ryland by the dining room table, looking a little frazzled, the tiny baby boy facing out and releasing all these tiny, gurgled cries as he attempted to stuff his whole fist into his mouth.
Rex was in the kitchen making dinner.
I grinned at him. “About time you made yourself useful . . . what are you making me? Just don’t burn it because it actually smells delicious. I mean, seriously, what miracle is this? Last time I checked, your specialty was pizza from a box.”
He tossed me a middle finger with his hand still wrapped around the paring knife he was dicing potatoes with. “Don’t even start, man. My family needs a good dinner, and the last thing my Rynna needs is to go worrying about making dinner after she’s been taking care of the kids all day.”
With an exaggerated sigh, she kissed the top of Ryland’s head. “Who would have thought taking care of an infant would be a hundred times harder than running a diner all day? I’m not complaining, but I think I could sleep for a week straight. Thank God Nikki decided to take the general manager position. I don’t even know what I’d do right now if I had to go in and oversee things.”
Nikki hadn’t been in love with her previous job and had jumped on the opportunity when Rynna had suggested she come work at Pepper’s Pies.
Rynna knew she wouldn’t be able to devote as much time to the diner once she had Ryland, and she wanted someone she could trust to handle the little diner that had been her dream, her grandmother’s legacy.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 36