The thought of Billie putting his mouth on her made her want to gag.
Mix that with Ollie kissing Meredith?
She was gonna lose her lunch.
Sydney looked at her as if she was crazy. “Then why’d you go and tell him you’d be his girlfriend? You could have said no, you know? You know you don’t have to say yes, right?”
Nikki bounced her leg. “Of course, I know that. Maybe I said yes because he’s the only one who’s ever asked me.”
Everyone else had a boyfriend. Could anyone blame her for wanting to know what that was like?
“Who asked you what?”
Nikki jumped when the voice hit her from the side. She whipped her head that way. The tiny flush of embarrassment she’d been feeling at confessing it to Sydney bloomed like the red roses in her grandma’s garden when she saw Ollie standing there holding Meredith’s hand.
He had on no shirt and was dripping wet. Muscles on his arms that hadn’t been there before. And his stomach . . .
She had to duck her head when she realized she was staring, her mouth going dry and her stomach that was already in knots making this fluttery feeling that had her thinking she might take flight.
No chance of that when her belly was filled with a pile of boulders that made her feel small and weak.
It was the same thing it kept doing whenever Ollie was around. It made her skin feel hot and her palms get sweaty. Anxious and excited at the same time.
She knew everything she was feeling was just plain stupid.
This was Ollie, she was talking about. Her best friend. The third corner of their triangle, even though that triangle had taken a few new angles since Kale and Rex were always hanging around.
“Ollie . . . don’t you know when to mind your own business? We’re having an important conversation over here. It’s private,” Sydney said. She angled her head at Meredith. “Besides, it looks like you have more important things to do.”
She said it as if she actually thought it’d make him tuck tail and walk away.
They used to all tell each other everything. Their secrets belonged to the other.
The three of them had since Nikki could remember. Her heart lit in a flurry, wanting to cling to it, for it to always remain.
But she wasn’t delusional.
Things had changed.
Ollie, Rex, and Kale had started high school last year, and this fall, she and Sydney would be starting there, too.
They’d all grown.
Changed.
They used to be together constantly, sharing all of their time, but their time together was coming less and less.
Plus . . . Ollie had Meredith.
Nikki would be a liar if she said that didn’t bother her the most, her chest so heavy when she saw them together she thought it might cave in.
Ollie released Meredith’s hand and set both of his on his hips, taking that overbearing stance.
He’d watched them like a hawk for all their days.
Their constant protector.
“No one?” he all but demanded. “I just heard Nikki saying, ‘He was the only one who asked her.’ Now I want to know who he is and exactly what he asked her.”
Embarrassment ripped through Nikki when Meredith giggled at Ollie’s side while looking at Nikki as if she was a pitiful little girl.
That’s exactly what it felt like.
It didn’t help that water dripped from Ollie’s hair and down his wide, tanned chest.
Heat blistered across Nikki’s face, but she was having the hardest time looking away. Not when he was glowering at her like that.
Sydney made a tsking sound and brushed back her long, sandy-blonde hair. The color almost exactly matched her brother’s, the same as their eyes.
Though that was where their similarities ended.
He was a grumbly bear, and she was a curious kitten.
He was brash, and she was delicate.
“We respect your privacy, so you need to respect ours,” she said, calm and poised.
While Nikki thought she just might melt into a puddle.
Ollie’s brows shot to the sky. “Your privacy? You’re my responsibility, Syd. Dad put me in charge, so anything you do is my business. I’ve got to take care of you. You two get yourselves in trouble, and it’s my ass on the line.”
His penetrating gaze moved to Nikki. “Now tell me who you’re talking about.”
A shiver ran the length of Nikki’s spine.
“I said it’s girl talk,” Sydney interrupted the stare down with a rebellious jut of her chin. As if it was gonna put a lid on the topic rather than ripping one off.
“Private,” she reiterated.
Meredith laughed. “Aww . . . I think they’re talkin’ about a boy. Leave ’em alone, Ollie.”
Nikki cringed.
“Yep. Private. Clearly code for boy talk,” Kale said, shaking his hair out as he climbed from the glistening ripples of water. “Sounds to me like someone’s got a crush.”
Rex was hoisting himself out right behind him, trudging up the steep embankment. “Who’s talking about me? Tell me she’s hot.”
“Hardly, asshole.” Ollie waved an annoyed hand his direction. “You think everyone’s talking about you.”
“That’s because I’m hot. Why wouldn’t they be talking about me?” Rex grinned as he peeked over at Sydney.
Nikki swore that boy was in love with her, but Sydney swore harder, not a chance.
Sydney scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. “You wish, Rex.”
Ollie turned back to his sister. “Tell me what you two are whispering about.”
“It’s none of your business what boy we’re talkin’ about,” she shot back.
Ollie’s eyes bugged out of his head.
Sydney had just given him all the confirmation he’d needed.
“Like hell it’s not. You’re my little sister, and Nikki might as well be. It’s my job to watch over you both.”
Sister.
Why’d him saying that hurt?
Sydney’s pretty face twisted in a scowl.
“Not a chance, Ollie.” Defiance blazed from her. “You’ve been bossin’ us forever. You aren’t gonna decide who gets to be our boyfriends, too.”
“Don’t need to pick because no one gets to be your boyfriend.” Ollie’s attention swept between the two of them. “Not either of you.”
A huff dropped Sydney’s mouth open while Nikki shifted in discomfort, biting her bottom lip as her attention darted back and forth with the exchange.
“Excuse me? You have a girlfriend standing right beside you, and you think you get to tell us if we get to have a boyfriend or not?” Sydney challenged.
“Uh, yeah, I do. You know Dad said you can’t date until you’re eighteen, and it’s my job to watch out for you. Always has been. Always gonna be. So that means I’m the one who says, and I say no to whoever it is you both are talking about. How’s that?”
“That’s stupid, that’s what it is. Just because I’m a girl, the rules are different? No way.”
“Not joking, Syd. You aren’t allowed to have a boyfriend. And if I find out you do? Someone’s gonna get their ass kicked.”
Rex laughed from behind him. “You’d better cover up her boobs if you’re gonna make that work.”
If Nikki didn’t love Sydney so much, she might have been jealous of her. Sydney’s boobs were already bigger than her mom’s, and Nikki barely needed a bra.
There Sydney was, wearing a pink bikini top and shorts while Nikki was wearing her same white one-piece from two years ago with a pair of cut off shorts to cover up her bottom. Even though they were the same age, Nikki always felt as if she was struggling to keep up.
Nikki peeked at Meredith who was only wearing a bikini, so perfect and pretty and mature. Nikki didn’t want to dislike her just because of it, but she couldn’t help it.
“It is a stupid rule,” Meredith agreed.
“It’s not stupid when she has a
body like that,” Rex shot out.
As soon as Rex said it, Ollie flew around and pushed him hard, right back into the river.
Nikki sucked in a worried breath, and Sydney scrambled to her knees when Rex tumbled backward into the water with a splash. But they should have known Rex would only come up laughing, climbing back to the shore, shoving the flop of hair back that’d fallen in his face.
It wasn’t like the three of those boys weren’t constantly at each other, always tussling but never mad.
“Temper, temper,” Rex said.
“That’s my sister you’re talkin’ about.”
“Just sayin’ . . . she doesn’t look much like a little girl anymore. Just like Nikki doesn’t.”
She didn’t?
She hugged her knees closer.
“Watch it, or the next time I push you into that river, you won’t be coming back up,” Ollie warned; though, there was laughter running underneath the threat.
“That’s right,” Ollie started to shout, his voice carrying on the wind as he spun around and shouted, “Let it be known, anyone even thinks of messing with my little sister, and I’ll be the one personally taking him down.”
Rex shrugged and flicked some of the water from his hair. “It’s Nikki with the boyfriend, anyway.”
“Stupid boys,” Nikki muttered under her breath, wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear.
“Aww, so cute,” Meredith sang. Nikki knew she was trying to be nice, but it felt like a dig.
He wasn’t looking in Nikki’s direction, but she saw it. The way Ollie stiffened and the roll of something angry that shivered along his strong back.
Nikki felt that itchy feeling again. It tingled across her skin—something that felt good and bad and right and wrong. As if she didn’t know herself anymore.
Kale ignored the whole exchange and tugged his shirt over his head. “Come on, let’s go check out Stillhouse. Haven’t been in there since last summer.”
“Lucky if it’ll still be standing,” Rex said.
Nikki chewed her bottom lip. “You know it’s not safe to go sneaking around in there.”
Rex grinned. “Always so scared, Nik Nik.”
“I’m not scared. I’m just not dumb. It’s not my fault I hang around with bunch of stupid boys.”
“I want to go,” Meredith agreed, looking at Ollie with eyes that were begging him to take her along.
Nikki looked at Sydney, praying that she’d get it. That Nikki needed to get away. She didn’t think she could handle watching Ollie with Meredith for a second more. “It’s a bad idea.”
And still, she was climbing to her feet, the same way Sydney was doing, because that was just what they always did, always following the guys around.
Sydney held out her hand to Nikki to help her stand. Excitement blazed in her eyes when she squeezed Nikki’s hand and whispered just so she could hear. “Fly, fly, dragonfly.”
Nikki sucked in a breath and gave her a nod, following her up the slope to where they’d left their bikes. Kale had already climbed onto his and was taking off down the trail, Rex right behind him, Sydney scrambling to catch up.
Nikki watched them. Rex looked over his shoulder at Sydney like he was challenging her to catch up. Beckoning her to his side. Something special moved through the air between them.
Nikki would bet that something special was something Ollie wouldn’t like.
Warily, she moved to pick up her bike, but all her movements felt slowed.
Sluggish.
As if she were trudging through a muddied bog. Held back by that same feeling Ollie radiated like his own special glow.
A brand the boy wore that only she could feel.
She peeked over her shoulder, and he was still there with Meredith, but looking all hard and pissed.
She shook it off. Her private life wasn’t any of his concern, and what he did with Meredith was definitely none of hers.
She focused on peddling up the trail, through the weeds that had grown high, the long, floral spines of the purple blazing stars poking up through the spikes of the tall grasses.
As soon as Ollie was out of sight, she peddled harder, faster, thinking she might finally break away. She topped the hill and wound back around the trail toward the abandoned buildings down on Row.
What used to be a dirt road was now an overgrown path that was barely discernable, just like the earth that had grown up around the crumbling, deserted buildings.
They weren’t supposed to go in, but they’d been doing it for years. It’d always felt like an adventure.
Thrilling.
A little scary.
A little wrong.
Nikki guessed that was what made it so much fun. What made her stomach still twist with the thought of sneaking inside.
She dropped her bike in front of the three stories of splintered wood and rusted steel.
Inside were old, vacant offices, metal filing cabinets tipped open with the drawers emptied and gaping. Canning facilities with battered, broken-down machines.
When they were younger, it had been a hide-and-seek heaven.
Right then, the only thing Nikki felt like doing was hiding. Because she knew she was stupid for even having these thoughts about Ollie. These feelings that welled so big inside her it made her start to think she was losing her mind.
And she just couldn’t stomach the way Ollie had looked at her when she’d taken off.
As if he was angry.
Disappointed.
Just a dumb little girl who couldn’t think for herself or decide what she really wanted.
Maybe she really, really was dumb, because what she wanted was him.
Her breaths came short, and her heart raced as she slowly inched toward the hole in the wall they’d always snuck through.
“What, are you scared?” She heard Rex shouting at Kale from inside. A reverberation that left a long echo through the vast stillness.
“Not even, dude. You’re the only pussy around here.”
Nikki angled to the side and slithered through. Inside the building, it was dark, the dusky space only illuminated by the murky rays of light. They stole through the cracks and the hazed-over windows situated up near the high ceiling that was caved-in on one side.
The urge to escape hit her, and Nikki fumbled for the stairway off to the right, her hands gliding over the splintered walls so she could find her way. Slowly, she edged up the stairs as quietly as she could. No matter how light her footfalls, the aged wood creaked with each movement.
Laughter rang through the cavernous space.
Echoes and joy.
Sydney.
Always so free and brave. Living life the way Nikki had always wanted to.
Nikki made it to the second floor, not even sure where she was going. The only thing she knew was she needed to get there.
The wood moaned when she stepped onto the second-floor landing, and she weaved deeper into the old halls where she’d hidden so many times as a child.
She shrieked when a hand latched on her wrist, and she was suddenly pulled into one of the rooms.
Ollie.
He was there, backing her into a wall, that same look on his face that he was wearing when she’d left him standing down by the river.
“What are you doing?” she demanded.
A glittering beam of light lashed across Ollie’s face, one part aglow and the other a shadow. He grinned in that way that made her spirit sing a million songs.
“What does it look like I’m doing,” he whispered. “Finding you.”
He’d always had an uncanny way of sniffing out her hiding places.
“We’re not playing,” she managed. She swallowed the big lump that had grown in her throat. Trying to pretend she didn’t have that feeling again. “We haven’t played that game in years.”
Two only.
But that summer felt like a lifetime ago. Before everything got strange and different and better and worse.
She could almost
hear the tinkle of Sydney’s laughter. “That’s what growing up is. It hurts and it’s amazing at the very same time. That’s called living, Nik. Don’t ever be afraid to live.”
“No? With the way you went running, I sure thought we were.” Ollie’s voice was a rumble, so much deeper than it’d been.
She shook her head. “I was just looking for everyone.”
She tried to shake out of his hold, duck away. The funniest thing about that was he wasn’t even touching her.
“Where’s Meredith?” she asked, her voice feeling too fragile.
His lips pressed into a thin line that looked like frustration. “Downstairs. She decided she didn’t want to come up.”
“You should be down there with her.”
Nikki didn’t know a whole lot about relationships, but at least she knew that. Ditching your girlfriend in a deserted warehouse was not cool.
She could see the shift. As if the lightness he’d found her with had only been a mask, and she stood there watching it be peeled away. Beneath it was confusion. A kind of disorder and anger she hadn’t seen him wear before.
Something about it made her shake.
He suddenly reached out and took her by the chin. “Is it true?”
She jarred back a fraction. “What?”
“That you have a boyfriend?”
Her gaze dropped to the side.
“Look at me,” he demanded, and her eyes fluttered open, just like the flutter in her belly.
He stared at her, eyes drawing together, teeth gritted. “I don’t like it.”
A sound scraped from her throat. “You have a girlfriend, but you’re telling me you don’t like it?”
His jaw clenched, and lines pinched his forehead as if he were trying to make sense of something. “I don’t like it. The way it feels. The way it makes me feel.”
His eyes moved over her. Nikki felt as if he was looking at her for the first time.
He hesitated, and his tone twisted in confusion. “You make me feel different.”
“What’s that mean?”
He fiddled with a piece of her hair.
Softly, watching the movement as if he was in awe.
Her knees wobbled. “Ollie.” His name was close to a whimper, and if she hadn’t been tied to him in this unseen way, she would have floated through the ceiling.
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 82