Where was my crew when I needed them most?
Did they not see this bullshit?
I mean, I know I’d taken responsibility for Nikki’s well-being. But there were times when good friends should step in.
Like when a douche tried to make his way into territory he didn’t belong.
Fuck that.
Rex met my eyes, narrowing his, studying me as he took a swig of his beer.
Did he have any idea? All that time Nikki and I had been sneaking around, hiding away, hoping Rex and Kale would be enough of a distraction that Sydney wouldn’t notice. Guess I hadn’t given it all that much thought as to if they had.
Hope landed a bunch of excited smacks against Nikki’s arm, her eyes wide and her lips barely moving, like she thought she was telling a secret that she was actually issuing to the world. “Oh, oh, don’t look behind you . . . but he’s coming this way. Oh, wow, he really is good-looking.”
“Hey,” Kale defended.
Now the asshole has something to say.
She looked up at her husband, her red hair moving over her shoulders. “Oh, Cowboy . . . I was talking about for Nikki. Don’t get your britches in a twist.”
He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers. “Cowboy? I’m your king, baby.”
Had to resist from balling up a dish rag and throwing it against the side of his face.
Yeah, this was not gonna end well.
Because my guts were churning when Matt, the fucker, came up to the bar just behind where Nikki stood.
He grinned at me like we were the oldest of mates. “Hey, man.” Still standing, he leaned his forearms on the bar. “How’s it going?”
Fan-fucking-tastic, that’s how.
“Good,” I rumbled. I tossed a napkin down in front of him. “What can I get you?”
How about the door?
“Whatever’s on tap.”
Everything’s on tap, asshole.
But I didn’t say anything, I just filled up a chilled mug with a light.
Figured that was all the pussy could handle.
I smiled at him when I slid it across the bar.
All teeth.
“Thanks, brother,” he said like he didn’t even notice I was five seconds from ripping him to shreds.
He lifted it in the air before he took a big swallow.
“Sure thing.”
He was grinning when he moved into the circle, going right for her. “Hey, Nikki. It’s good to see you.”
She peeked my way.
A flash of indigo.
A glimpse of the freckles on her defined cheeks.
My chest tightened.
She offered him a small smile. “Hi, Matt. How have you been?”
“Good, good,” he said. “Work’s busy, but other than that, I can’t complain. You?”
“Same here.”
Seemed like so many lies fell from her mouth with that simple statement.
Like all this bullshit wasn’t going down in her life.
This was brutal, watching them chat like every word wasn’t killing me.
I was a hot second from losing my cool. Turned out it was Nikki who was getting ready to do all the shredding, and the girl didn’t even have to lift a finger.
Our friends had turned to each other, talking quietly, giving them space, while I scrubbed at the bar with a rag and tried to pretend like it wasn’t any of my business.
Didn’t matter.
The turn in Nikki and Matt’s conversation hit me like a loudspeaker screaming in my ear.
“Band’s good tonight. You want to dance?” Matt asked.
Of course, that was when Lillith found it fit to pipe in. She all but shoved Nikki his direction. “Sure, she does.”
There was no missing the resistance that lined Nikki’s posture when Lily pushed her that way, the way her shoulders went up and her shoes slid across the floor.
An inch, and then two.
Enough to make my mind tip to the side. Axis creaking. Threatening to crack.
Nikki peeked back at me.
Was that an apology or her own anger and frustration, her spirit screaming out that I was responsible for this?
I’d known all along that one day . . . one day she’d move on.
Find joy.
A husband and a family and a load of kids, exactly what she deserved.
The way she’d dreamed about growing up.
How many kids are we gonna have?” she’d whispered when she was just fifteen, laying on a bed of blazing stars, nestled on my chest as we’d looked up at the night sky.
“Three. One little girl with your eyes and two boys just like me.”
She giggled. “I don’t think I could handle three of you.”
It was what I’d wanted for her even though the thought destroyed something inside of me.
Of her finding that with someone other than me.
Then I’d gone and ruined every chance she’d had. Chased off every guy. Certain they weren’t good enough for her.
Amusement was suddenly in her smile, wry as her gaze moved across all the girls, then she turned back to Matt. “Actually, all my friends would like to dance.”
Another warning in her expression when she looked back at them. “Wouldn’t they?”
She spun around, facing them as she backed away and waved for them to follow. The girl was wearing this short, frilly skirt and a silky tank, heels on her feet making her legs look like they were a mile long.
Everything about her was exotic and still as comfortable and down to earth as a home-cooked meal.
Yeah.
I wanted to fucking eat her.
Devour every inch.
Jenna clapped in excitement, while Hope passed her drink off to Kale, pecking him on the lips before she rushed to join them.
Lillith? Lillith hit me with a smirk as she let go of Broderick’s hand and then followed Hope.
Swore to God, the world was against me.
Cursed.
They edged into the thick, pushing through the raving throng. Bodies surged and swayed and pulsed. They all made their way to the dance floor at the base of the elevated stage.
Nearly choked when Matt edged up to Nikki from behind and tugged her against his chest.
In the roiling crowd, she was facing me when he splayed his hand across her belly.
From across the space, those mesmerizing eyes, so odd of a color you could vanish in the depths, tangled with mine.
Hypnotizing.
A motherfucking spell.
Black fucking magic.
That was what she was.
Rage blew in like a bleak, black storm.
Rex looked that way before he turned back to me with a grumbled laugh. “You’re so fucked, dude.”
I wiped at the bar, so hard I was pretty sure it was rubbing off the glossy stain.
Stripping it down to bare bones.
That was exactly what I felt like.
Bare bones.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I gritted.
He shared a look with Kale before he turned back to me. “If you saw your face right now, you’d know exactly what that means.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You still gonna stand there and deny it after all this time?”
Unease rippled through me. Maybe he really had had a clue. “Deny what?”
Disappointment came out with the shake of his head before he tipped back his beer and drained the bottle. He stood and slammed the empty on the bar. “Think I’m gonna go claim my girl before some poor, unknowing bastard has to die trying. Someone else here might want to do the same.”
And he wasn’t looking at Kale or Broderick when he said it.
24
Nikki
Chaos drummed through the air. I felt caught up in it.
Elevated and lost.
My feet not quite touching the ground. Held by the sapphire gaze that ravaged me from across the space.
&
nbsp; Intense, fierce, and blistering.
Torment and need and possession.
Crash after crash.
Matt slipped his hand around my waist and pulled me flush against his body.
A shudder ripped free of my lungs. It wasn’t even close to being elicited by Matt’s touch. It was because the only thing I could feel was Ollie covering me.
I didn’t even have to close my eyes to imagine the man was touching me everywhere, the sensation of his hands from last weekend still alive and vibrant.
Sizzling across my flesh.
Turmoil played across Ollie’s striking face.
It was possessive and wild, and still, incredibly sad.
Unable to remain upright under the severity of it, I tore myself out of Matt’s hold and whirled around to face him, turning my back to Ollie because I no longer knew how to stand beneath it all.
The sorrow and the regret and the need.
In the throbbing crush, I struggled to maintain balance where my friends danced around me as if they couldn’t feel the quake of the earth that rocked beneath my feet.
Dim lights were at one with the smoky fog that twisted and twined in the air, the bar nothing but a dizzying haze.
Bodies pulsed, a mass that toiled in the hypnotic beat.
Matt slanted me a smile, what he thought was seduction carved out on his face, and my stomach turned.
I didn’t want this.
Not tonight.
Not when I wanted to turn around, go to Ollie, and tell him I wasn’t going anywhere.
Promise him I’d stay.
Matt edged forward again. This time, he placed both his hands to my hips in a bid to bring us closer.
I set my hands on his chest, intending to tell him I was sorry but I couldn’t do this. Even if it was just a dance, it felt wrong.
But my mouth went dry, and my tongue got stuck on the roof of my mouth when I felt the energy surge over me from behind. At the same time, the waters parting as the air rushed and whirled.
I didn’t even have time to process it before Ollie was there.
Towering next to where Matt attempted to bring us together.
The man so big.
Savage and fierce.
Hands fisted at his sides and something like anger in his expression.
There was no chance I could breathe through the impact.
He turned all that intimidation on Matt. “Sorry, brother, but I’m gonna have to cut in.”
His tone was a low threat.
Irritated, Matt’s attention flicked to Ollie.
For a second, I thought he was going to refuse. Maybe he hadn’t known who it was before he’d looked, or maybe it hadn’t been until then that he’d caught on to the possessive indignation that radiated from Ollie’s flesh.
But Matt jolted and started to slowly back away. Eyes darting between us for a beat, annoyed and off-put before he seemed to give and disappeared into the fray.
Then Ollie looped a massive arm around my waist as he wound the other hand into my hair.
A gasp burst from my lungs.
Never, ever had Ollie touched me in public. Not like this.
He pulled me flush against his heat and strength and battering heart.
His forehead dropped to mine, and our bodies began to sway, to move in time to the beat, our hips rocking as we fell into the dance.
People throbbed around us, and he held me tighter. He bent down, wedging his knee between my thighs.
One hand gripped me by the waist, that thumb running dizzying circles on my hipbone.
“Nikki,” he murmured. My name sounded fragile and unsure where he released it an inch from my mouth. “I’m going to lose my mind, looking at you on this floor, another man touching you.”
My hands fisted in his shirt, desperate to get him closer.
“Ollie,” I whispered, close to begging.
What is this?
I can’t handle being this close to you, and you push me away again.
His nose brushed mine, and his expression verged on pained as he drew in a ragged breath.
Trembling with need.
We rocked in hesitation, and his mouth was in my hair, at my temple, running tenderly down my cheek.
Fire on my skin.
Then he brushed his lips across mine.
Once.
Twice.
So sweet.
Lightheadedness swept through me like a slow dream.
Then he crushed his mouth to mine.
Indecision erased. The man consuming me in a way he’d never done.
Openly.
It felt like a claiming.
His hand moved to the back of my head as he angled me just right. His tongue demanding all of me right out in the middle of the dance floor.
My heart took off at a sprint, racing for his that hammered in the air.
And we spun.
Kissing.
Kissing and kissing and kissing.
Desire flashed.
Ollie groaned.
I burned—every cell in my body coming alive under his touch.
He suddenly pulled away, and I was blinking, trying to find my senses. But the only thing I could see was this man.
Peering down at me, something so different in his gaze.
Powerful and unending.
My knees shook, and he took me by the hand, and that was when I noticed that all of our friends were frozen in the middle of the floor.
Shocked, every single one of them stared back at us.
Rex cracked a grin in Ollie’s direction, and Ollie just gave him a finger as he began to haul me back through the crowd.
Heat flushed my body, my cheeks.
Not because I was embarrassed or ashamed but because, for the first time ever, it felt like I was finally right, and I had no idea how long this feeling would remain.
I struggled to keep up on my heels as Ollie wound through the groups packed around the high-top tables, the man on a mission as he beelined for the darkened hall.
The second we were in it, he had me pinned, my back against the wall and my legs around his waist. He ground himself against my center.
Pleasure sparked.
He groaned, the man plundering my mouth as he did.
“Nikki,” he muttered, hands running the outside of my bare thighs. “Nikki.”
Without setting me on my feet, he jerked me from the wall, never ceasing that frenzied kiss as he carried me the rest of the way down the hall and started up the zigzagging stairwell.
We banged up the steps, the man spinning and pressing and clamoring, his hands everywhere.
Needy.
As needy as his mouth that consumed mine.
As needy as my pleas that whispered from my soul.
My hands threaded in his hair, and my body rocked against his.
Every brush spurred me higher.
“Ollie. Ollie,” I whimpered, swept away in his madness. Willing to float away forever if it meant getting to be with him.
He stumbled up the three flights of stairs. The music from downstairs became a dull, vibrating hum, our hearts becoming louder as he made it through the door to his loft.
He didn’t stop before he pinned me to the wall right outside his bedroom door. He pulled back, his cock straining against his jeans, pressed hot against my panties.
The man panted as he stared down at me with crazed, hungry eyes.
I searched for air. The only thing it accomplished was inhaling him. Taking on more.
Reaching out a trembling hand, I ran it slowly—tenderly—through the longer pieces of his hair. My head angled with the plea that cracked at the back of my throat. “I want this, Ollie. I want you. But I need to know this is what you want. I can’t allow you to trample my heart all over again. If you take me in that room, there’s no going back for me.”
25
Ollie
Her words blasted through my consciousness. A reminder of all the mistakes I’d made. The continuous hurt
I’d inflicted.
Forcing myself to slow down, I spread my hand out across the side of her face. Wishing I could hold all of her.
Wishing I could tell her I’d love her forever.
Instead, a confession was falling from my mouth. “This date . . . it nearly ruins me every time it comes around. But this . . . this isn’t about Sydney. This is about you. This is about us. This is about finding what we lost.”
My words grew low and fast. “You make everything feel different. Always have, Nikki. Like I’m someone else when I get near you. Like I’m someone better.”
Those indigo eyes moved over my face. Searching and memorizing. Drinking me in. Remembering this moment for what it always should have been.
“When I went to you last year . . . I was so fucked up. But I know now, I couldn’t go anywhere else. Because you made everything right when it was so fucking wrong.”
“Ollie . . .”
I pulled her from the wall, the girl still in my arms, my face buried in her hair. “I need you. I need you in a way I never thought possible,” I muttered, praying she’d get it.
That it was different from when I went to her a year before telling her the same thing.
This was a promise.
This time, when I moved, it wasn’t frenzied or panicked like it’d been when I’d carried her upstairs. It was cautious and slow. Holding her the way she’d always deserved to be.
Tenderly.
The girl precious.
I’d always wanted to wrap her up.
Protect her.
All these years, it’d made me crazy, and I’d wished for a way to scrape it from my psyche, from who I was. It’d taken until tonight to realize she’d only driven me mad because I refused to allow her where she was always meant to be.
With me.
Mine.
I laid her out across my bed. Slowly, I crawled over her. Hovering. Staring down at her through the milky glow of the moon that spread over the room and set her aglow.
Light.
“No more, Nikki. Can’t go on pretending that I don’t want you. That I don’t need you. I want to try to be the kind of guy you deserve.”
Grief fisted my heart.
Thoughts of my sister running rampant.
If I was gonna be with Nikki, it was time I ripped myself open wide. My eyes squeezed closed, and my teeth ground together as I forced out the words. “I’m so lost, and I don’t know if that vacant feeling is ever going to go away. Only thing I know is when I’m with you, it doesn’t feel so vast.”
Fight for Me: The Complete Collection Page 92