“Danika McKinley?”
“Yes?” Unsure of my response, like I’m agreeing to something unpleasant.
“Please sign here and this is for you.” He hands me an envelope after I sign.
“Thank you.” I shut the door and proceed with opening the large manilla envelope.
Inside I find a subpoena for a deposition for Cam’s court case. Ok. So, I guess that phone call was just a formality. I read over the paperwork and struggle to come to terms that I will probably have to see Cam at this deposition. My heart still aches for him. And in two weeks, I will have to see him. The thought makes me want to vomit.
No. I will not let this take over my life. Starting today, I take my life back. I don’t want to go to class today because I’m not sure what has happened yet, and I can’t take any chances on running into Professor Mullins. And it is as good as any other day to get a car so I can actually have some freedom and not be stuck on campus.
Luckily, my laptop survived the fall, so I do some research and find a couple of locations that have some decent used cars. I get myself ready and use the app on my phone to get an UBER. It says my ride is five minutes out, so I walk out my door and wait on the small steps in front of Trojan Hall.
The black Toyota pulls up to the front door and the guy driving confirms that I am his passenger. I get in and confirm the destination. I had already entered one of the addresses of the dealerships that I had seen online into the application on my phone. It only takes us about fifteen minutes to arrive, since rush hour traffic has settled down. I thank him for his services and proceed to the car lot. I look around and see a few nice cars and immediately wish I had someone here with me. I usually never have a problem being by myself but purchasing a car is a big deal and I would love to have some sort of input. My life hasn’t exactly been loaded with supportive people.
My family is… Well, my family is just that, just my family. There is no real bond between us except the bond of blood relation. I have always been the black sheep of the family and never quite fit in with them.
I had one close friend that stood by me with all my family crap, but I was never able to tell her about that awful day. I came to California without even saying goodbye. She knew my plans to come out here, but I never told her the exact date I was leaving. And I haven’t talked to her since, even though she has tried reaching out several times. Not that she could help me all the way in California, but it is times like this when I really miss having her in my life. She was my support system for everything, even if it were just to sit in silence. Clara would know just the right thing to say at the right time to make me feel better. She is more of a sister to me, than my actual sister is. I really miss her. Now, I’ve gotten all sentimental. “Focus.”
I walk around the lot and see the salesman heading right toward me. Yuck. I hate car salesman. They are like ticks that just won’t let go. I take a deep breath because I know I have to deal with this leech in order to buy a car but I think I already found the one I want. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on him. He is just doing his job. I just want to take it for a test drive and not have to deal with the whole back and forth fiasco. The black Honda Civic is only three years old with considerably low mileage and it’s under twelve thousand dollars which leaves me money for taxes, insurance, and incidentals.
When the salesman approaches me, I tell him the car I’d like to look at. I get right to the point, so he doesn’t try to push something on me that I don’t want or need. He lets me take it for a test drive and shows me that the vehicle hasn’t been in any accidents. I’m sold on it and I try to convince him to come down to eleven thousand, which he agrees. Maybe my negotiation skills aren’t half bad. I call my insurance company and tell them I’m buying the car so I can drive off in it. I write a check out for the total amount and hand it to him. He has me sign the paperwork, places a license plate on the car, and hands me the keys.
I feel a sense of accomplishment for doing this on my own and walk out with my head held high. The whole purchase took just under four hours and even though half my day is gone, it was so worth it. I am so excited to get into my very own car.
Of course, I have no idea how to get around yet. So, my GPS is going to be used for pretty much all of my adventures. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get around this massive city without directions. I put my dorm address into the GPS but once I know I’m close, I drive around aimlessly to get myself familiar with the area.
Chapter 14
Waking up the morning of the deposition, I’m feeling less than stellar, and my emotions threaten to get the best of me. I haven’t seen or spoken to Cam in over two weeks leading up to this day. He hasn’t called or texted and although I didn’t really expect him to, I guess a part of me really wanted him to keep trying. I just wasn’t prepared for him to give up on me or us. I know it’s childish and I was the one who ended things without so much of an explanation, but it was pretty obvious what was happening. We were never exclusive, so he didn’t really do anything wrong but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stand around and wait for him to hurt me.
The last couple of weeks have been uneventful, just keeping myself busy with school and work with no play. Professor Mullins was replaced with his teacher’s assistant until they can find a permanent replacement, so I have been able to go to class. The TA is a female so there are no complaints on my part. I’m glad to not have any men in my life to disappoint me, except for Gary. He would never disappoint me, though. He’s the only man that I have ever been able to depend on.
I get out of bed and do my usual morning routine. I had laid out my clothes to wear this morning, the night before so I wouldn’t have to rush this morning. I decided on a black knee-length pencil skirt and a white button-down shirt with my black pumps. I want to look professional for this meeting.
I walk out of the dorm to my car and enter the Attorneys’ address in my GPS. It estimates my arrival time to be in twenty-five minutes, but I gave myself an hour because I know traffic this time of day is a bitch. The quiet alone time has my brain swirling with nonsense on the entire drive there. Cam is constantly creeping into my mind and I can’t seem to shake him. Will he be at the meeting? Does he really need to be? I’m not sure how this whole deposition thing works. When I hear “You have arrived at your destination”, and park my car in the tiny parking lot, I see the small sign that reads Conners Attorneys at Law.
It’s a small building on the outskirts of the city. It appears that the law office may be the only business in the building.
I enter through the glass door and let the receptionist know what I’m here for. She’s a dainty little thing. I don’t even think she reaches five feet, but her voice is anything but small. It’s high pitched and almost sounds like a dying cat. I would never be able to be around her for more than a few minutes. The constant squealing is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
She tells me to sit and that it will be a few minutes. I look around and take in the scenery. There are several large leather chairs in the waiting area with a few tall plants that remind me of palm trees. It looks like the building’s interior was recently remodeled because everything looks new.
Before I am too deep into my thoughts, an older gentleman comes out to the reception area to get me. It’s the same gentleman that I had seen in all the pictures when I googled Riley Connors.
“Ms. McKinley, I’m Attorney Riley Connors. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for coming in today.” He extends his hand to shake mine.
“Not a problem.” Not like I had a choice. I take his hand in my mine and shake it to be polite.
“Please follow me.” He proceeds down the hall to a closed door on the right.
He opens the door and I see two people sitting around the long, wooden conference table. Cam is seated directly in front of me as I walk through the doorway, so I smile, because what else can I do? When I continue my search around the room, my eyes meet the blonde bombshell that he was with the last day I sa
w him, sitting in the seat right next to him. Maybe they are official. I don’t know if I would bring my “girlfriend” to a deposition, but I guess that’s his prerogative. That doesn’t mean that my jealousy doesn’t rear her ugly head, but I flash my pearly whites, anyway.
Attorney Connors pulls out a chair for me. “Have a seat.” The chair is so gigantic that it practically swallows me whole. After I sit, he looks at me and begins to speak again. “Ok. Now that we are all here, let’s get started. I’ve already introduced myself and you obviously know Mr. Carter. Let me introduce you to Riley Connors, my daughter and a new addition to our practice.”
You have got to be kidding me. I would like to think that he is introducing someone else that is now walking in, that maybe I didn’t notice, but no such luck. I look around in hopes of just that but instead Blondie gets up and extends her hand to mine with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Camden has told me so much about you.” Right about now, I feel like inserting my foot in my mouth, because that’s clearly where it belongs. I should jam it in there far enough where I will never be able to remove it.
I crack a small smile, but I can feel the heat radiating from me due to embarrassment. “Nice to meet you.” I swear if I could crawl under this table right now, I would. I pushed him away because I’m scared of anyone getting close to me. God forbid, I actually let myself be happy without second guessing everything and everyone. Imagining that I screwed up something great because of my stupid insecurities has me feeling lower than low. Never mind the fact that Cam looks better than I have ever seen him, dressed in a black button-down shirt that somehow makes his eyes stand out even more than they usually do. With the lighting in the room, I can see golden flecks in them. The voice of the attorney snaps me out of my self-induced hypnotism.
The deposition is pretty effortless. They ask me what happened the night Mullins assaulted me, and I explain the events the best I can. They then inquire if I’d be willing to testify and my skin begins to crawl. How can I testify? Yet how can I not? This man’s life is in my hands. But he’s not just any man. He is the man that I wish I could be with. The man that I wish had fought a little harder to keep me. The man that I let go because of simple stupidity. The man that I love. In my head, I have to say it again. Shit. I’m in love with Camden Carter. Well, that’s new and definitely couldn’t have come at the worst possible time.
“I will be glad to testify.” There is no other option. I have to do this for him. He deserves this and more after the way I treated him.
“Great. The trial is set for next Thursday. Please make sure you arrive prior to 8:30am so we can go over any last-minute details.” Attorney Connors stands and walks toward the door and opens it. “It was very nice to meet you and we certainly appreciate your cooperation.”
“It’s the least I can do.” My eyes focus directly on Cam. I, then, get up and walk out the door and to my car. I have the urge to run far, far away. Maybe there is a rock that I can hide under.
I get into my car and start the ignition, but I can’t move. I’m frozen. I watch as Cam comes out of the building, and he walks straight to my car. He appears at my window and takes my breath away just by looking at me with those amazing eyes. “You got a car?”
“It was time. I can’t be depending on other people and UBER.” I just smile up at him but what I really want to do is grab his face to mine and kiss him like he’s never been kissed before.
“It was nice to see you. Thank you for coming. I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” His platonic tone, as though we have always been nothing more than friends, stomps at my heart. “Well, I guess I’ll see you next week.” He taps on my door and walks away, not leaving me any time to respond. I can’t imagine what I could even say to him.
Uninvited tears stream down my face. I don’t want him to leave. I don’t want to be without him. I screwed everything up. He changed something inside me and made me feel whole again. How can I fix this?
Cam is long gone, but I just sit in the parking lot trying to think of something that I can do to make him see how much he means to me.
A few minutes pass and then I abruptly realize that it’s probably been almost thirty days since he pawned his car. I search local pawn shops and call the closest ones until I find the location of his car. They tell me that the thirty days are up on Wednesday and that he will have to come up with the money before then or the car will be auctioned off. I plead with the man on the phone to sell me the vehicle. He explains that the best he can do is sell it to me on Wednesday for ninety-five grand. He can’t sell it any sooner because he is still under contract with Camden. I give the man my information and tell him I would be there first thing Wednesday morning to pick up the Vette and I will have cash. I also state how important it is that he does not sell the car to anyone else, but I don’t think he gives a crap.
Now, I just have to figure out how to get that kind of cash. My best option is to talk to Gary, but I’m not entirely sure if I can ask him for money again and of course I depleted my bank account buying a car, not that it would have been enough anyway. I call Gary before I lose my nerve and he, of course, agrees to help me and that he will have the cash for me tomorrow. That man is my savior, as always.
I know Cam would never be able to get his car back before trial and I’m almost positive that they will not return his money right away. I just hope that he understands how much he means to me. He may not want to be with me romantically but maybe I can convince him to be friends. Even though that is so far from what I want, but I will take what I can get. I just want to be around him again. I won’t let him slip away again. I can’t. He means too much to me.
I finally put the car in drive and leave the parking lot. I head over to the Bistro because I should have been at work this morning but had the deposition so I probably should go in and get some things done, especially since Gary has been so kind to me. I have been a terrible employee lately, with all my crappy moods and missing work.
I park my car in the small employee lot in the back of the Bistro and walk inside.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you in today.” Gary looks up from wiping down the counter.
“I figured since I should have been here earlier, I would come in and get some work done.” I walk toward the back where our shared office is, and Gary follows.
“I have actually been thinking about that. Since you have been doing so well at this new position, I have been doing a lot of thinking about your hours. I know you are a college student, and you should have a social life. I want you to enjoy your time in college, not just work every free minute you have. So, my suggestion is that as long as you take care of everything that needs to be done, you can make your schedule as you see fit. Day to day, week to week or whatever makes it easier for you. I know you have a lot going on and I want you to be happy here. So, what do you think? Maybe you can find a certain someone special…” Gary winks at me and smiles.
“Well, that would be amazing. As far as a boyfriend, I think that ship has sailed, even though I wish it hadn’t.” I fuss with my fingernails, so he doesn’t see the pain in my eyes. The pain that has been there for weeks.
“I don’t know if I believe that. Look what you are trying to do for him. That isn’t something you do for someone you aren’t in love with. I may be an old man, but I can see right through you.” It looks like he wants to say more but holds back.
“Listen…I’m not going to lie to you. I think I am in love with him, but I screwed up. I pushed him away for no reason. I don’t even know if I would take him back if the tables were turned.” I’m really trying to be honest with myself too.
“Don’t give up on him just yet. I think he might surprise you.” He pats me on the shoulder and starts to walk away. “You know…Over the past couple of weeks, he has come in a few times when you weren’t here to see how you were doing. I can tell that he still cares about you.”
He came to check on me? Is that a sign that he cares? I hope that Gary
’s right. I would give anything to be able to tell Cam how I feel and to have him reciprocate the feelings. I’m just not that confident that it will go the way I want it to.
I take an inventory and I finish up a couple of orders before I take off for the day. I drive back to my dorm and get ready for bed. I sit on my bed and just listen to music to drown out my thoughts when my phone pings with a text message that may or may not make me feel like a giddy teenager.
It was nice seeing
you today.
Ditto. *Smiley emoji*
I don’t know how else to respond to him. I’d like to tell him that I have fallen completely in love with him, but a text message probably isn’t the best way to get that point across. And it’s not the greatest time if it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to. Especially, since we will be seeing each other at the trial in a week and I would like it to be cordial between us and not awkward. So, I’ll save my declaration of love for another time. I have to play it cool.
I look forward to
seeing you next week.
I do, too. Thanks again
for doing this. I know
it’s hard for you.
Honestly, it really is the least I can do. If you hadn’t been there, I would have relived my past. It was a pretty easy decision to make when it came down to it.
Well, Good Night!
Good Night.
I welcome sleep feeling relieved and somewhat optimistic.
Chapter 15
It’s been about a week since the deposition and Cam and I have been sending “friendly” texts back and forth all week, but he never once said that he wants to see me, which is obviously a bummer. At least, he’s speaking to me and I guess I can consider us friends. That is really all I can hope for.
A Broken Past Page 11