by Rei Fletcher
"Your plan worked. Your mad idea."
"It seems to be my style."
There was a crack that rattled her teeth. The far edge of the world snapped and broke, falling away. Beasts screamed, pulled into the void beyond.
"We have to go." Ash stood, and when she helped Marianne up she lifted her clear off her feet.
"Oh, shit. You're juiced."
The ground bucked beneath their feet. They started toward the gate.
Marianne stumbled along the path, feeling the ground become less and less stable, like fragmenting ice. Ash took her hand, pulling her along. The wind whipped at them. Ewan's world tugged at the driveway. There was a muffled crunch. They dropped to the ground as the trailer park's sign broke free. An Unformed Beast squealed as it was knocked loose. Falling toward her.
She was picked up and hurled out of the way. She had the briefest glimpse of Ash before the beast hit her, and both tumbled away.
"No! No, not...not yet."
The wind dragged her back, she grabbed hold of a tree, the clean, sharp smell of pine filling her nose when she pressed her face against the bark. Her hands throbbed. Her body hurt more than she could ever have imagined. For a moment she thought about how easy letting go would be.
Don't let go.
It wasn't her inner voice, but Ash's, small and far away.
She started crawling toward the gate, dodging debris being pulled in and creatures fleeing, scrambling up out of the ditch onto the driveway. The space between the trees bent the real world, trying to suck it all in.
She'll come.
A telephone pole splintered and collapsed, dragging the lines down. Bright arcs of light danced briefly and vanished. What looked like an oversized vulture laboured with its massive wings against the pull of the gate, then soared free over the trailer park.
I have to wait for Ash.
A tree cracked and fell behind her. She darted out of the way as it flew past her, into the swelling gate. The bigger it got, the heavier she felt, like she couldn't really breathe properly. Over the city, she saw shadows dipping and flying. An eerie burst of orange light flared to life. In another direction, there was a tremendous explosion.
Fuck. Oh fuck.
The lights flew past. Seven lights like shooting stars. The sight, beautiful as it was, filled her with dread.
Ash, please don't go. Please.
The gate pushed at the world, straining with a sound like cutting steel, high-pitched and violent. Too big. She fell to her knees, head down, labouring for breath, clinging to hope the way a child clung to the idea of Santa.
She's real. This is real.
Somehow she was laying down, and didn't remember it happening. Her head spun.
We were supposed to save the world.
What would Ash want?
She pushed herself back. The gate was bending the road, now. Anything driving on it would be sucked into the nothing beyond. She blinked the tears from her eyes and clenched her hands into fists, feeling fresh blood from the rips the chain had made in them.
Smaller.
The bulge retreated from the road. Slowly, and oh god did it hurt, burning through her veins like fire. The trailer park fence that had begun to be dragged in clattered back down.
Smaller.
Trees crashed into each other, doomed to the gate but with a much smaller space to get through. It would be hard for Ash to get back.
In response to the thought, the gate expanded again. Marianne sobbed.
Something blurred past her. Marianne turned in time to see a path of destruction as trees fell. She hit the ground again as they were sucked away. After a moment Ash reappeared. Marianne sagged with relief.
"Close it!"
Will. Marianne rolled over and closed her eyes.
Smaller.
Nothing happened. The wind screamed in her ears. She felt herself skidding in the gravel and grabbed hold of the culvert, metal slicing into her hands.
I left it too long.
Above her head the sky tore open, a yellowish cloud pouring out. Where it touched the forest it shrivelled red and brown, then black, then dead.
Stupid. Stupid bitch. Worthless, stupid—
"Marianne."
Ash's voice whispered to her, even though she was all across the driveway. It was like they were only inches away, like they'd been that night in the car.
"My Marianne. It's okay."
Her thoughts calmed. Marianne climbed back to her feet and faced the gate.
Will.
"Fuck you. Do you hear me? Fuck you! This is my world, not yours."
She felt it pulling from her, from everything in her.
I will you away.
There was a boom, like the sound of train cars crashing together, from the night they sat on the cutbanks. She covered her head until the sound faded away. Bits of wood and metal rattled to the ground. She heard the trailers rocking precariously on their fragile foundations before they creaked to a stop.
She looked up cautiously. The pines were gone. In the centre of a broad clearing, a cottonwood tree stood in solitary splendour. Her ears rang in the sudden silence.
I did it.
Pain lanced through her stomach. She curled up, hearing Ash call her name. Cool hands touched her face. Ash's eyes searched for injury.
"What is it, Marianne?"
Her fingers folded of their own accord. It hurt enough to take her breath away. She felt something give way inside.
I messed myself.
When she looked down, her jeans were red.
"Ash?" Her voice cracked, letting the pain and fear pour through.
She felt herself lifted up.
"I have you, my girl. I have you. Don't let go."
Epilogue
It'd been raining all day, and she'd been afraid there'd be no proper sunset. Storm clouds still hung above her head, bruised and heavy, but to the west, the sky was gloriously clear. The dying sun clung to the sea. Boats punctuated the liquid gold with clean, sharp silhouettes. Small islands and the outstretched arms of the mainland slowly drained of detail, trees and houses and roads replaced with pinpricks and chains of lights.
It was the most beautiful thing Marianne had ever seen.
She hugged the plush robe closer, revelling in the comfort of it. The doctor said it was safe for her to pick up her usual routine, but she hadn't felt like going out. She hadn't even finished exploring the apartment building and all of its amenities yet.
The sun set. She smiled, hearing sounds from the bedroom. Ash was getting better at making normal noises, and taking her time. Feasting on Ewan had made her more than her usual self, resulting in sudden appearances and, occasionally, broken walls. They weren't sure if it was permanent or not. So far a faint glow still kicked up when she was excited. Marianne was getting used to it, wondering aloud what would excite her enough to brighten her to reading lamp level.
She joined Marianne on the balcony, mysteriously rumpled as usual. Marianne shifted over to give her room to sit on the...bench thing. It was too plush to be a bench, really. It must have a name. Fancy things always had names.
"Good morning."
"So to speak."
Marianne kissed her. She felt like a cool, silk pillow when Marianne leaned against her.
"How are you feeling?"
"Mentally? Physically? Emotionally? Texturally?"
"Start with the easiest one."
"Doctor said it's all okay down there, as far as she can tell. If I get knocked up again they'll want to keep a close eye on things."
"I'm sorry, my girl."
"It was the doppelgänger that was excited about it, and Mom and them. Even if I did want it...the doppelgänger...you know. If there was any chance that Ewan messed it up, somehow..."
Ash rubbed her arm, soothing away her agitation.
"It's just...Was it something I did? Something he did? Why does it even matter since I didn't want to have a baby anyway?"
"It was taken out of y
our hands."
"Yeah. I guess. She took a deep breath. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel."
"I don't think there is a 'supposed to'."
"Guilt. Anger. Relief. Adrift. Free. Why is it so confusing?" Marianne made a face. "It's probably all hormones or something."
"It's all right just to feel what you feel."
"Simple as that?"
"I think so. Right now."
She'd passed out on the way to the hospital, and woke late the next day, cushioned by painkillers, with her mom and Bobby there, both of them dozing in chairs. Despite the drugs she ached all over, and her head throbbed. There were bandages everywhere, it seemed like. What kind of story could she concoct to explain it all?
But in the end, she got lucky; they hadn't asked, just then. A helpful passerby had seen her in trouble, the nurses said, just one of the thousands of people in trouble that night, and brought her to the overwhelmed emergency room. When the tentative questions did come her concussion provided the excuse of memory loss.
It was her mom who explained the miscarriage, while Bobby sat by her bed, red-eyed and silent, holding one of her bandaged hands. Seeing their grief and sympathy helped her hide her immediate surge of relief, and then the guilt for it, and then anger, directionless and impotent. The confusion of emotions finally made her cry. They never needed to know, she decided. They didn't need to know about the hunting or the fighting or any of it. They didn't need to know what she'd been planning.
Ash had come every night, dodging the night nurses to lay with her. The mess of painkillers and hormones made the discussion slow. It was embarrassing how much she'd cried. On one of those long nights, Ash had offered a way out. A way to start an entirely new life.
"I have money," she said. "Enough for you to disappear if you want. Become someone new."
In the end, Marianne couldn't do it. But she couldn't stay, either.
She expected more pushback from her mom when she said she was going to live down in Vancouver for a bit. She'd been worried, but she'd given in, especially when Sarah said that she'd watch out for her. Maybe John being there helped. He'd been there for Marianne, too, after her talk with Bobby.
Ash found his ring in the tall grass of the playground, and that's where she met with him, as far from the cottonwood tree as she could easily walk. He argued, to his credit, determined to prove that he always meant to marry her. She thought that she was faking tears to convince him, except that they continued long after he'd hugged her goodbye and disappeared into the chill twilight.
John came looking for her and sat beside her. "Stronger relationships collapse under lighter problems," he said. She apologised for being weird when she rested her head on his shoulder for a little while. He assured her that it wasn't weird at all.
She wasn't the only one leaving. The disaster had killed hundreds of people. It was hard for any town, much less a small one. And it had destroyed dozens of houses and businesses. It was still making headlines weeks later. The explosions, fires, and deaths were being investigated, but so far there was no explanation. Officials were leaning toward a problem with gas pockets. It would, they said, explain both the destruction and the strange visions that so many people reported. As Ash predicted, they were finding a story that made sense.
Without Ewan to master them and the gate to attract them most of the monsters fleeing the collapsing world had scattered. They'd have to be hunted later, their trails picked up when the dust had settled, and Marianne was fully recovered. Then there were the lights. There was no way of knowing if they were enemy or ally. Ash told her not to borrow trouble. When Marianne pointed out that Ash was the one who brought up the topic she was offered a kiss as a distraction. Marianne had never let a subject drop faster in her life.
"Sarah emailed," Ash said.
"How is...everyone?"
"As well as can be expected. John's hanging in there with your ma. She's going to meetings, he says."
She rubbed her eyes. Ash's patience had been endless. She couldn't say how it was better to cry on someone's shoulder, only that it was. Just, right then, she didn't want to give way to it, resentful of the roller coaster of hormones.
Ash's fingers brushed the tears away, smooth and cooling. Of course she knew.
"Sorry. I don't know why I keep..."
"Grieving takes time."
"I wanted to leave. I want to be here."
"Goodbyes are still hard."
"Ugh."
Marianne felt Ash laugh. She took a deep breath, fresh sea air mingling with the smell of Ash's hair.
"Did the whammy work?"
She didn't have to look; she knew Ash's pained expression, and smiled.
"Whammy..." She gave up with a sigh. "Charlene doesn't remember anything about the kidnapping or the house. There should be nothing to prompt recall."
The wind picked up, tangling Marianne's hair. Ash tucked a lock back behind her ear with great care. Marianne turned for another kiss and noticed a black box sitting beside her.
"That's really pretty."
"For you."
It was smooth as glass, with a shining butterfly on the lid. She thought it was plastic until she rapped on it. It was lacquered wood, instead. She used the cuff of her robe to wipe off her grubby fingerprints and cover for her tears.
"Thank you."
"Open it, you silly thing."
She lifted the lid. Inside was a bank book for a new account and a scattering of debit and credit cards.
"Are you sure about this? Girls go crazy with credit cards."
"You'll figure it out."
At the bottom of the box was a unicorn keychain. There wasn't just an apartment key on it.
"Oh my god. Is it...It's for the car?"
Ash's fingers twitched. Marianne held it up and swung it gently, watching her eyes follow it like a cat with a toy.
"I promise that she's yours. I'll only drive when I have to."
"No, no no. It's..." Ash looked sheepish. "Thank you."
She rested her head again. "Do unicorns exist?" The keychain was sparkly.
"I've never seen one, but what does that mean? Maybe you can dream one into being."
"Two. One would get lonely."
She nuzzled Marianne's hair. "Aren't you going to check your bank balance?"
"Ha! What's the minimum—"
She sat up. Ash watched her, carefully, she thought.
"Um. Did I just graduate to high-class call girl, or what?"
Ash rolled her eyes. "I couldn't add enough zeros onto that one to show your worth." She took Marianne's hand. "It's yours, without conditions. It isn't a payment to bind you to me. It's freedom."
"Freedom to go?"
"If...if you want."
"Freedom to stay?"
"I'd really like that."
She clutched it. "Do you think I could take some classes? Maybe by correspondence?"
"If you like. Anything you like. That's what freedom means."
Marianne resettled herself, hugging the bank book, while Ash hugged her. If the wind came and snatched the box away, she'd still be happy in Ash's arms. It was a scary feeling. An incredible feeling. "We have to stay here awhile anyway, to hunt, right?"
"It would be a fine thing to set up a home here. With you."
"Ash?"
"Yes, my girl?"
"Don't let go."
"Never."
Credits
I'd like to thank my beta readers, especially Carta Editing.
I'd also like to thank my cover artist, germancreative. It was amazing to see my characters come to life for the first time.
You can find both on fiverr.com.
Visit
Thank you for reading! I really appreciate being able to share my occasionally grotesque but hopeful dreams.
You can follow me on Twitter: @ReiFletcher
Follow and comment at my page: Wordpress
Follow and Review: Goodreads
Buy and Review: Amazon
/> Look at pictures: Instagram
Other works
Between the Stars and the Sea
Summer Birds: Prequel
Red Dogs: Book 1
Broken Shore: Book 2
Eyes of Lost Gods: Book 3
The Breath Before Falling: Book 4
Other
Mummer's Daughter and Other Stories