by Jessa James
Remy arched a brow. “Is that right?”
“Mmmhm,” her mother murmured.
“He’s got a good life,” Remy said, suddenly feeling defensive. “I know we don’t have much, but Shiloh has a house full of people who love him. He’s got a lot more love in his life than most people do.”
Remy’s mother crossed her arms and gave her a stern look.
“Girl, don’t you go putting all the things you feel about yourself onto that little boy. Lord knows, if you have the choice, you’d hunker down and probably never leave the farm again.”
Remy gave her a look, but couldn’t disagree. “So? There are worse things.”
“Well, if it was just about what you actually enjoy, and about being happier around your family than around outsiders, that would be one thing. But that’s not it,” her mother said. “You refuse to make friends or leave the nest because you’re scared to take a risk. You want to control everything in your life, protect yourself and protect Shiloh.”
It was everything Remy could do not to snap back at her mother. She took a deep breath and exhaled, closing her eyes for a brief moment before responding.
“Mama, it’s my life. I don’t understand why you keep resisting my choices, since you love the fact that we still live at home.”
“I’d like it more if you weren’t so busy lining the nest of your own gilded cage,” her mother said, pursing her lips.
“Well, tough turkeys. We don’t always get what we want, do we?”
Remy turned away, just in time to see the three Roman brothers coming around the side of the yard.
“Crap,” she muttered.
Sawyer was in the lead, as always. Looking handsome as sin in a white dress shirt, dark jeans, and a crisp new cream-colored Stetson. All that was missing from his look was a good pair of weathered cowboy boots, and he’d blend right in with the rest of Catahoula.
It was a trick, of course… Sawyer was a level above his hometown peers, always had been. He didn’t belong in Catahoula, not in the long-term.
“Well,” Remy’s mother said. “Speak the name of the devil, and he shall appear.”
“Mama!” Remy said, stifling a laugh. “That is not a nice comparison.”
Eulah merely fanned herself and batted her eyelashes, looking not one single bit regretful. Her expression turned to distaste as Arlo Roman and his hoity-toity new fiancée walked over, meeting the Roman brothers in front of the gazebo.
It only took Sawyer a few moments to locate Remy, pinning her with his gaze. Arlo was right on his son’s heels, shooting Remy a glare the second he saw her.
Like she’d done something wrong, just by being in the presence of his prodigal son.
“Jerk,” she muttered under her breath.
“Now who is not being nice,” her mother asked. Remy made a face, knowing that her mother didn’t know the extent of Arlo’s threats against Remy and Shiloh.
Remy, for her part, avoided both their gazes and focused on her mother. She forced herself to concentrate on the women around her, not looking up again until the social hostess called everyone to attention.
“Hello, everyone!” their hostess Mrs. Faraday shouted. “If we could all please settle down and find a comfortable spot, the entertainment is about to begin. It’s our lucky day, because the River Siblings Quartet is going to perform for us. Isn’t that nice?”
There was a light smattering of applause, as Remy and her siblings rose and headed toward the gazebo. Remy could feel her pulse pick up, her hands begin to sweat as she climbed the steps. Even with Larkin and Shelby and Micah at her side, she found it difficult to turn and face the crowd.
She cleared her throat and closed her eyes, summoning her courage. Just because some of the people in town didn’t approve of her, didn’t approve of the choices she’d made, well, that didn’t mean she should quit doing the things she loved.
And singing, that was something she loved.
Maybe she struggled for faith sometimes, sitting in church. But the moments when she was singing, totally wrapped up in the lovely melody of a classic country gospel song… In those moments, Remy took flight like she had wings.
Micah started tapping his foot, beginning the beat to “Can The Circle Be Unbroken”.
The song was slow and sweet, the melody a perfect blend for the siblings. Remy and Shelby sang soprano, Larkin sang contralto, with Micah coming in as a tenor or baritone as needed.
Their harmonies dipped and soared, pulling her into the rhythm. Remy completely forgot about their audience, about her problems, even her concerns about Sawyer’s father. It all faded away as they slipped into “Farther Along” and “Coat Of Many Colors”. By the end of the first song, everyone else seemed to have forgotten all but the music, too.
There was a huge burst of applause after every song, especially leading into the finale of “Amazing Grace”.
Halfway through their last song, Remy opened her eyes and looked out into the crowd. She instantly locked gazes with Sawyer, her voice faltering when she saw the intensity glowing in his hazel eyes. He was watching her like a hawk, not swaying or tapping his foot to the music like everyone else.
He was watching her, only her.
Remy started to feel hot all over, and this time it wasn’t stage fright. Larkin nudged her in the ribs with an elbow, and Remy caught up the melody once more, but she couldn’t look away from Sawyer. He’d taken off his hat, showcasing his dark hair.
She hadn’t had time to notice the last time she saw him, back at the bar, but his hair really started to grow out – enough to be a little bit curly on top, which made her stomach flip-flop for some reason.
As the song came to a close, she ran a hand over her dress. She’d had a baby, her body changing as she aged. Not that she didn’t keep herself up, but she was a woman now — not a thin, perky teenaged girl.
Sawyer, on the other hand, looked better than ever. He’d always had the height, of course, but his time in the military had packed his form with thick muscle, filled him out in ways that made her feel a little faint.
She hated that, the way men got better with age. Women started to slowly wrinkle and expand, usually hips first. Sawyer was definitely in no danger of that…
The audience applauded, snapping her out of her reverie. She turned to find Shelby grinning at her. When her sister winked, Remy went red.
“No need to explain, really,” Shelby said. “I’ve seen the Roman men. They’re darn near irresistible. And you have the fortune of knowing that firsthand.”
“Shelby!” Remy said, feeling a little scandalized. They headed down the stairs and over to the refreshment table. All four siblings were forced to stop here and there to receive praise from the church members, thanking them in return.
“Well, I’m just saying. It isn’t like there’s a doubt about it,” Shelby said. “Or was Shiloh an immaculate conception?”
“The mouth on you,” Remy scolded.
Shelby arched a brow, like she wanted to push the topic further, but she changed the subject instead.
“I just want to come right out and say it,” Shelby said, grabbing a bottle of water from the drink table.
“Well, you’re already being a little roundabout,” Remy said.
“I’m rooting for you and Sawyer to get together,” Shelby said.
Remy paused in the middle of twisting the cap off her bottle of water. “What?”
“Come on. It’s sooooo obvious,” Shelby said. “High school sweethearts, reunited…”
Remy grabbed Shelby’s wrist and led her away from the main group, down one of the little walking paths. Glancing around to make sure they were out of earshot, she took her sister to task.
“Shelby, I’m not sure if you’ve somehow forgotten this in the last few seconds, but Sawyer and I have more connecting us than just a high school fling,” she snapped.
“Yeah, duh. That’s my point,” Shelby said, crossing her arms.
“Listen. Me and Sawyer? Neve
r, ever going to happen. If he wanted to, he could sue me for custody. The fact that I never told him about Shiloh, the fact that the Romans have the money for a big fancy lawyer? That means a judge might side with him. I could lose custody. Is that what you want?” she asked.
Shelby narrowed her eyes not. “Of course not. That’s an unfair thing to say.”
“Well, that’s what I’m facing here. So I can’t be mooning around after Sawyer, or any other man in town for that matter. No one can know. No one.”
“You’re so mean when you’re being a scaredy-cat,” Shelby said, shaking her head.
“Is it so wrong to fear for my son?” Remy asked, outraged.
“Yeah, if you’re basing all of this on the supposition that Sawyer would try to take Shiloh from you. He’s a really good guy, always has been. You know him. You know that better than anybody.”
“It’s been years, Shel. He left town 12 years ago! And until last week, I hadn’t seen him in nearly four years. He’s been all over the world, seen all kinds of stuff. Micah says that he’s got all kinds of problems, PTSD and stuff.”
“And that’s a strike against him?” Shelby asked, looking angry.
“No!” Remy cried, stamping her foot. “No, not in itself. My point is that I don’t know Sawyer Roman, not anymore. I can’t just… assume he’ll do the right thing.”
“But you can keep lying to him, indefinitely?” Shelby asked. “You’d better start praying that he moves back to the city, Remy. ‘Cause otherwise, the two of you trapped in this little backwater together? No way in hell are you keeping your little secret. Not for long.”
“Shelby—” Remy said, aggrieved.
“No. I think I’ve heard enough,” Shelby said. “I’m going to go fix myself a plate of food. Maybe when you’ve come back to your senses, you can join me.”
Shelby stomped off, leaving Remy scowling after her. Looking around, Remy turned down the footpath, taking the opposite direction of Shelby.
A little ways down, she found a small goldfish pond with a cement bench beside it. Sitting down, she mulled over her sister’s words as she watched the orange and black fish flitting around in the water.
Yeah, okay, maybe I am a scaredy-cat, she thought. But I’ve jumped the gun and let myself be spontaneous a handful of times in my life, and none of them ever turned out for me. Much as I love Shiloh, he’s the product of my last walk on the wild side…
She heard footsteps. Looking up, she scowled when she saw Sawyer coming down the path toward her. She started to rise, ready to leave, but he held up his hands in surrender.
“Whoa, hey. White flag, white flag. I just want to talk.”
“We talked the other night,” Remy said, remaining seated even though Sawyer moved close. “What else is there to say?”
“Can I sit?” Sawyer asked, nodding to the other end of the bench.
Not wanting to be that kind of petty, Remy shrugged. “Fine.”
As soon as he sat down, she regretted it. He dominated the small space, his big body nearly touching hers. Not intentional on his part, even… he was just a huge guy.
All around huge, she thought, then blushed.
Really, thinking about his… package? Where is this coming from?
“Is there something going on with you and one of my brothers?” he asked.
Remy blinked, then stared at him in confusion.
“Your brothers? Uh, definitely not.”
Sawyer’s hazel eyes narrowed. “See, it’s funny. Every time I so much as mention your name, they both get all tongue-tied. I get the feeling there’s something they don’t want me to know. I thought maybe it’d be best to come right to the source.”
Remy watched him for a second, then slowly shook her head.
“No. I would never.”
“Well, there’s something going on,” Sawyer said. “Maybe I’m not as smart as Walker, but I know that much.”
Remy worked to keep her expression blank.
“I couldn’t tell you,” she said.
“I’ve been trying to think what else it might be, you know?” Sawyer said, his tone almost conversational instead of that of a direct question. “Like, you have a secret fiancé, you have a problem with starting fires and burning down buildings…”
Remy snorted. “No, sorry.”
“Hmm,” he said, fixing his gaze on her again. “Guess I’ll just have to keep my detective hat on for a little while longer then, huh?”
A dimple flashed in his cheek. Vaguely, Remy knew that his words should fill her with dread, the way she felt when Arlo had threatened her.
It was hard to feel that way when she looked at Sawyer. Instead, it made her think of sun-kissed summer days and stolen kisses behind the school bleachers. It made her think of when they were crowned prom king and queen, and when Sawyer’d first told her he loved her, way back in middle school.
“I like your hair grown out a little, like that,” she blurted out. She felt her cheeks grow pink, and she felt like a silly teenage girl again.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked. His gaze dipped from her face down to her body, just for a second. “I like a lot of things about you, Remy.”
He reached out and skimmed the backs of his fingers down her shoulder, and it was all Remy could do not to moan. How long had it been since she’d been touched by a man?
Remy shook her head. “I’ve changed a lot since you saw me last.”
“Maybe, but I still think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he said.
“Sawyer… I’m not… I’m not that girl, anymore.”
Something flared in Sawyer’s eyes, but he didn’t challenge her.
“I’m starting to understand that, now. I just wish you’d tell me what happened to make you feel that way.”
Hmmm, maybe being all but abandoned by you, getting threatened by your father, and then going through 18 hours of labor with just my mother at my side? she thought, feeling a flash of bitterness.
Not that she could say any of it to Sawyer, but there was certainly a small part of her that wanted to lash out at him, pound her fists on the solid wall of his chest, make him understand.
Instead she said, “I’m not the girl you knew, Sawyer. Life went on when you were gone. I have other things in my life. Responsibilities. Baggage.”
Sawyer’s brows lifted. “You mean the farm?”
Remy frowned. “Well… no, but… yes. It’s more than that.”
Sawyer leaned closer, just a fraction, but suddenly Remy couldn’t seem to catch a breath.
“What if I told you that I don’t care about any of that?” he asked.
This close, his eyes filled with heat, his body brushing against hers… it was persuasive. Sawyer consumed her, the clean male scent of him filling her senses, making her forget everything else…
“What do you want, Sawyer?” she managed to ask, her lips trembling.
He sucked in a breath, his gaze dropping to her lips. She had the barest second of recognition before he descended, his mouth pressing against hers in a possessive, demanding kiss.
He cupped her jaw, his lips working over hers. After a moment of frozen indecision, she sighed, giving him an opportunity.
Sawyer teased her with the tip of his tongue, reminding her just how talented that tongue could be. Even back in school, before she’d given up her innocence to him, that tongue had given her pleasure countless times.
When his other hand settled on the small of her back, slowly drawing her closer, she almost let him.
Almost.
Her hands flew up, pushing at his shoulders. She broke the kiss, shaking her head.
“No,” she said, both to Sawyer and herself. “This isn’t right.”
“Remy…” he said.
“I swear, I thought maybe you’d changed a little bit since high school. You really haven’t though,” she said with a frown.
“Tell that to the decade I served in the Navy,” he said, his brow creasing.
�
�I’m not talking about your work ethic, Sawyer. I’m talking about the way you are with women. How many other girls are you running around with these days, huh?”
Sawyer gave her a look. “None, right this moment.”
“Uh huh. And later tonight, you’re not going to be on the phone to one of your girlfriends back in D.C.?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“So, you’re actually worse than before. You can’t even keep a girlfriend now?” she demanded to know.
“Why the hell would I want to do that?” he spat, then pulled a face as if already regretting his words.
She stood, a rush of anger filling her chest. Though it was more for herself than for Sawyer, she turned her bitterness outward.
“You can’t just waltz back in here and think I’m going to fall into your lap, Sawyer. I’m not some… floozy, you can just pick up and put down when you want. I’ve moved on with my life, just like you did.”
He reached out and snagged her hand. “Is there someone else, Remy?”
She stared at him for a second. If she just said yes, right this second, there was a chance that Sawyer would back off.
Then again, she shouldn’t have to use the excuse of belonging to some other man to make Sawyer respect her wishes.
“No,” she said. “There’s no one, but it doesn’t change the way I feel.”
“I think I could change your mind,” Sawyer said, cocking a brow.
The cocky smile that slid onto his face was almost more than she could bear.
“Yeah, I bet you’ve proven that time and again with countless other girls over the years,” she snarled. “I’m not your plaything, Sawyer. Find someone else’s head to mess with.”
Whirling, she fled, furious with the tears that threatened to break free. Though she was mad at Sawyer, she was more upset with herself. Everything that was happening now, it was happening because she let herself be weak around him.
Like she didn’t understand the consequences, like she didn’t understand the stakes of this little game.
Play with fire, you’re bound to get burned…