Rita blanched and quickly glanced over her shoulder to see if William could hear them or not. Thankfully, he was sitting at the back of the wagon, and she was confident he wouldn’t be able to listen in on their conversation over the noise of the vehicle rumbling along the road.
She turned back to Virginia and whispered, “I…I suppose you could say that. It feels as if we’re both making more of an effort, anyhow.”
Leaning closer to her Virginia asked, “Have you fallen in love with him yet?”
Rita’s jaw dropped. “What? That’s not part of our arrangement.”
She had long past confessed the true nature of her marriage to Virginia, who had been surprisingly understanding of the whole situation. She’d made no secret of her belief that Rita and William would eventually fall for each other, however. Rita had scoffed at the idea at first, but now the mere mention of the idea had her heart racing and her breath shortening.
Virginia eyed her carefully and her lips slowly curled into a knowing grin.
“Ah, I see. You are in love with him, but you have yet to acknowledge your feelings.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Rita sputtered. “I’m not in love with William.”
Virginia arched a brow, her grin widening. “You’re getting awfully defensive of an idea that you think is so ridiculous, my dear. Perhaps you need to do a little soul-searching and come to terms with some new realities in your life.”
Rita could only gape at Virginia, at a total loss for words. She adored her new friend, but she couldn’t be more wrong about her relationship with William.
She wasn’t in love with him.
Yes, she’d grown quite fond of him in the couple months they’d been together, and she did think him quite handsome, but that didn’t mean there was anything deeper to her affection for him.
It simply wasn’t true.
It couldn’t be.
“If only you realized how insane such a notion truly was,” she said with a shake of her head. “It isn’t like that between William and me. We have mutual respect and we care for each other’s wellbeing, but there is nothing beyond that.”
Virginia shrugged. “If you say so.”
I do say so.
I say so very firmly.
Yet, when she looked back at her husband, she couldn’t ignore that fluttering in her heart.
“He’s wobbly on his feet, but he’ll get the hang of it in no time.” Louis grinned as he gazed down at the newly born foul stumbling around the stall next to his exhausted mother. “He’s got a strong sire, so I’ve no doubt this little one will grow up to be so as well.”
Rita could hardly believe what she’d just witnessed. The birth had been much faster than she’d anticipated, and it had been startling to see the foul just drop to the ground from where his mother stood. However, the baby had wiggled around and struggled to its feet within moments, no doubt hungry for milk after its long ordeal.
“I’m so glad you were here to see this,” Virginia declared, her eyes jumping between Rita and the foul. “Isn’t it just the most miraculous thing?”
Rita nodded. “Most definitely.”
She laid a hand on her own belly and imagined the child inside squirming and searching for its mother just like the foul was doing now. Searching for her. The thought filled her heart with such a wave of love, she thought there was a true risk of it bursting.
“When you give birth, you’ll have much more help,” Virginia laughed. “But when your baby is in your arms for that first time, you won’t remember any of the pain. You’ll only be able to think of them and how much you love them.”
Rita believed her, and she couldn’t wait for that moment. She couldn’t wait to hold her baby in her arms for the first time and memorize the contours of their face and feel the softness of their skin.
Soon, my darling. Soon you’ll be here, and I’ll be able to adore you the way I’d always dreamed of being adored myself.
Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her middle, and large hands settled on her belly. She froze, baffled, as William released a sigh that ruffled the back of her hair. She peeked up at him and gazed at his profile. His expression was relaxed and contented. Did he even realize what he was doing?
She tentatively laid her hand over his, and when he didn’t move to release her, she squeezed him and smiled to herself. It had been so long since she’d been held, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the comfort and security of a warm embrace.
Rita imagined William holding her like this for years to come, and she was filled with such joyous anticipation at the thought, she was forced into a startling realization.
She loved him.
Her breath escaped her in a rush as the truth settled over her. Virginia had been right. Somehow, Rita had gone and fallen in love with her husband.
She didn’t know what to do with this new information. Loving him had never been part of the plan. In all honesty, she hadn’t believed she’d be capable of loving again, especially so soon after Robert.
Robert has only been gone a few months.
How could I feel this way about another man so soon?
Guilt assailed her. What kind of a woman was she to be able to give her heart away so easily again?
It wasn’t right.
It couldn’t be.
She’d loved Robert with everything she’d had, and she’d been certain her ability to love like that again had died with him.
Yet, when she thought of her feelings for William, they were different from what she’d felt for Robert, but they were no less deep.
How was this possible?
I must be certain. There’s no point in telling him or anyone else at present. I must give myself time to truly know my feelings.
She resolved to do just that and remain quiet about her feelings. William maybe her husband, but she was also still a widow, and Robert deserved her grief and mourning. She would pay him the proper respect, and in time, decide what to do with her feelings for William.
Chapter 9
“William! William, come quick!”
Rita held her breath in anticipation as she waited for her husband to reach her. She was standing in the middle of their main room, clasping her hands as excitement thrummed through her. She heard his footsteps pounding down the hallway from his bedroom and when he appeared, he looked harried and wild-eyed.
“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” he gasped.
Too late, she realized her urgent shout may have given him the wrong idea about what she wanted from him.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m fine, and the baby is not coming at present.”
He frowned, irritation flickering in his gaze and she grinned sweetly at him to try and ease the worst of his ire.
“If you’re not in labor, then what has you shouting like a wild woman?” he demanded to know, folding his arms over his chest and scowling.
“It’s two weeks from Christmas!” she exclaimed.
He blinked at her, his expression shifting from annoyance to befuddlement. “And? Why is that cause for this ruckus?”
She gazed around the room, which was not as sparse as it had been when she’d arrived. She added a few new pieces of furniture, linens, and greenery to make the place feel homier.
“We haven’t a tree.”
“Does that matter?”
She gawked at him. “Of course, it matters. We must have a tree for Christmas! It’s vital in celebrating the holiday.”
“Why is that?” His lips curled and he now looked amused with her.
She scowled at him. “It is tradition. You must uphold traditions at Christmas. That’s what makes it such a special holiday.”
“That sounds like nonsense to me,” he scoffed. She gazed at him with wide eyes, silently pleading with him, and at length, he released a sigh of defeat. “Oh, very well. If it means that much to you, I’ll get you a tree. But you’re not going anywhere until I bring it back, understood?”
<
br /> Delighted, she nodded, happy to obey as long as she got her tree.
“Yes! I understand. I will stay here and rest in my chair until you return.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. Mumbling under his breath, he went to fetch his coat and boots and then stomped toward the door. Before he left, he glanced back and her and warned, “You had better be here, in that rocking chair, knitting, when I return.”
Smiling from ear to ear, she assured him, “I promise, I will be.”
He eyed her up and down, his gaze suspicious, but then he released another sigh, stepped outside, and shut the door firmly behind him.
“It’s too big.”
“No, it’s perfect. The top doesn’t even touch the ceiling.”
“It’s too wide. It’s taking up too much space.”
Rita chuckled and shook her head in amusement. When William had returned home, dragging what had to be the most beautiful tree she’d ever seen, she’d been over the moon. Of course, he hadn’t found her in her rocking chair knitting, but at the kitchen table making decorations. She also had a batch of gingerbread baking in the oven. Though he’d clearly been exasperated by her apparent inability to follow his strict instructions, he’d acknowledged that she’d at least stayed in the house, so he couldn’t be too cross with her.
After he’d set the tree up, she’d pleaded with him to help her decorate it, even going to far as to express forlornly how difficult it would be to finish all by herself in her condition. Her little guilt play had worked, and he’d begrudgingly agreed to assist her. He’d been complaining the entire time, but she found his gripping to be rather amusing.
Besides, she knew it was all for show. She’d catch him grinning as they made their way around the tree, and she could tell that he was enjoying himself.
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that you’ve never decorated a Christmas tree before?” she asked as they contemplated how best to put the topper on the tree.
He shook his head and shrugged. “Not since living here, no. I’ve never put up decorations. Shoot, I don’t think I’ve even changed the curtains before.”
Rita made a note in her head to do just that as soon as possible.
She suddenly had the worrying thought that perhaps she’d changed too much of his home. If he was used to things a certain way, he might not appreciate everything that she’d done.
“I haven’t overstepped, have I?” she asked, unable to hide her uncertainty.
He frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
She gazed around the room then looked back at him. “I’ve been doing more and more to change your house, and I never stopped to consider whether you actually like the changes or not…”
“Woah now, don’t think that way,” he insisted, stepping closer so he could lay a hand on her shoulder. Her stomach flopped at the contact. “This place actually feels like home now, because of you.”
“Really?” she murmured, gazing up at him breathlessly.
He nodded. “It’s never felt so warm, and it’s never smelled of baked goods.”
She laughed at that. “Well, I’m happy you approve of my changes.”
He stared down at her for a long moment and his hand remained on her shoulder.
“You’re going to make a great mother,” he softly said.
I wish you would tell me I’m a great wife.
That was likely only a dream on her part. Still, they continued to stand there, their eyes locked. The thought flashed through her mind that it would be the perfect moment were he to kiss her. As she watched him, she thought perhaps he was thinking the same thing. He brought his other hand up to clutch her other shoulder and her lips parted. His eyes dipped to her mouth.
Please. Please do it. Kiss me.
To her shock and delight, he began to lean forward. She didn’t move…had to hold herself back from flinging her body against his. Closer and closer he came, and her heart thudded harder and harder.
When his lips hovered just above hers, there was a sudden knock on their door. Startled, they both jerked away from each other. William dropped his hands from her, and she instantly missed their warmth and weight. Clearing his throat, he stomped to the door and yanked it open.
“What?” he barked.
“Sir, there’s an emergency in town.” Rita recognized the man as one of William’s new deputies. “A brawl broke out at McGinty’s Saloon and now there’s the threat of a gunfight.”
William cursed under his breath and shot Rita an apologetic look. She gave him a soft smile and nodded, silently urging him to go and handle the situation.
Sighing, he turned back to his deputy. “Let’s get a move on. The last thing we need is murder to clean up. The paperwork would take me a month.”
He grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door and shot Rita one more look before he stepped outside.
She released a long and heavy breath once he was gone, then pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. Glancing at the tree, she couldn’t help but smile.
That worked better than mistletoe. If only the deputy had better timing.
She was eager for William to get home, and she hoped they’d pick up right where they’d left off.
Chapter 10
Christmas Eve
The pains took her by surprise.
One moment, she was perfectly fine, sitting in her rocker, knitting as usual. The next, she was in utter agony.
When the first wave of pain crashed through her, she dropped her knitting needles and let out a startled cry.
“What?” she murmured, gazing down at her belly. “No…this can’t happen. Not now!”
William still hadn’t returned from the emergency in town. She was all alone and had no clue as to what she should do. Another stab of pain had her arching her back out of the chair and groaning out loud. Tears sprang to her eyes.
This was horrible. She’d know giving birth would hurt, but this…this was torture.
Was something wrong? Was it supposed to be this bad? Fear began to mingle with her anguish. The thought crossed her mind to go to Virginia. She would know if this was normal or not. She would know what to do.
The pain subsided enough that she could push to her feet. Slowly, she made her way across the room to the front door, only bothering to grab a shawl as her coat was hooked next to the back door. She didn’t think she’d really notice the cold, anyway. She could only focus on the torture her body was going through.
Stepping out onto the porch, she saw that it had begun to snow. Usually, she would take a few moments to admire the sight, but another wave was starting to crash through her. She grabbed hold of the railing for the steps and bent herself nearly in half as she cried out. When that wave passed, she straightened and made her way down to the walking path and then out onto the road. It was slow going, but she focused on putting one foot in front of the other as she walked to the Herrings’ farm. She nearly sobbed with relief when their house came into view.
Pain continued to rip through her, making her stumble and shriek, but she didn’t stop until she’d climbed up onto the porch. She leaned against the door as she knocked on it as hard as she could….
She waited for what felt like an eternity before the door was pulled open. Rita nearly fell inside, but strong arms wrapped around her and caught her.
“Good Lord, Rita! What’s happened?”
Glancing up, she met Louis’ concerned gaze.
“I need Virginia,” she said, her voice cracking as her body convulsed with the force of her labor.
“You’re in labor!” Louis exclaimed. “What are you doing, walking out in this weather in your condition? Where’s William?”
“In town,” she gasped. “There was an emergency.”
“Well come inside.” Louis helped her into the house and then practically dragged her up the stairs to a bedroom. He assisted her into the bed, throwing blankets over her to warm her up after her walk.
“I’m going to go fetch the doctor and find William
,” he told her. “You stay here, and I will be back as soon as possible.”
“Be careful,” she pleaded. “The snow is starting to come down quite hard out there.”
“I will,” he promised her. “You don’t leave that bed, do you understand me?”
She began to nod, but then another wave crashed through her and she let out a full on scream.
Startled, Louis stepped back. “Just hold on!”
Turning, he ran out of the room, and Rita was left alone once more.
Where was Virginia? Why wasn’t she home?
Where is William? I want him here with me.
The next hour was easily the worst of her life. The pain only grew worse, and she had no idea what to do to try and relieve her torment. She had no one to hold her hand and tell her it would all be okay. She wanted William more and more with each horrible minute that passed.
What if I die here? What if Louis doesn’t find them in time?
She was on the verge of giving in to her despair when the bedroom door suddenly burst open.
“William!” she cried.
He looked wild and panicked as he raced to the bed. Taking her hand, he pressed it to his lips and then to his cheek.
“Thank the Lord,” he gasped. “I was afraid I wasn’t going to make it.”
Rita began to sob tears of relief, but it was short-lived as the biggest wave began to roll through her. She threw her head back and screamed. William kept hold of her hand and whispered tender words of encouragement in her ear until at last, the pain subsided once more.
“Where’s the doctor?” she asked, her voice choked.
William pressed his mouth into a thin line as if he didn’t want to tell her.
However, at length, he answered, “He’s stuck outside of town and can’t get back in. The snow has brought all the trains to a standstill. Louis is going through town, seeking the local midwife.”
Panic shot through her. “William, I can’t do this without the doctor! I think something’s wrong…it hurts so much!”
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