Nadia.
She was a girl, a sick and helpless girl. Scared and beaten down, and I was …
He lifted his head once more, the skin of his cheeks flayed. “It’s going to be okay. I promise you.”
A tremor coursed through me. I’d heard that before. He’d spoken those words to me before. A promise …
I never really left you.
Another shudder made its way through me. He’d made those promises. My eyes found his, and his were a beautiful, stunning amethyst. I couldn’t look away from them. My chest rose sharply. Purple eyes. I knew those eyes. Dreamed of them. Missed them. Mourned them. Trusted them.
Gasping, I let go of the power, and it coiled tight, deep inside me, snapping throughout the forest. I threw my head back, screaming as fire and darkness erupted inside me. The burning shadow that had tattooed my skin and coated my muscles, that had entwined itself with my bones and was a part of me.
Had always been a part of me.
Trees groaned under the power’s weight. The ground moaned as I dropped to my knees and pitched forward, letting my cheek rest on the cool grass.
My head wasn’t blank.
My body was once again mine.
I curled inward as a steady stream of thoughts began to trickle in, as consciousness took hold. I was Nadia. I was Evie. I was Peaches. I could feel the cold rain pelting me. It had been Daemon I’d attacked.
Luc I had nearly killed. Luc, who I loved with everything in me.
Oh God.
What was wrong with me?
What was inside me?
Hands were suddenly on me, a gentle touch on my shoulder and hip, but I still flinched. I trembled from my head to my toes.
“Evie,” the voice whispered. Luc. The fingers were at my cheek now, scooping back wet hair. “Evie, open your eyes for me.”
I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see what I’d done to him.
“Evie, please,” he pleaded, and Luc never pleaded.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes tightly closed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Luc said, sliding a hand under my cheek, lifting me from the soaked grass and into his arms. “I’m okay. Look. I’m okay.”
I shook my head, trying to pull away, to put some distance between us because there was something seriously wrong with me, and I couldn’t be trusted.
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
A harsh laugh retched from me. “There is something very badly wrong with me.”
“Okay.” His hands splayed across my cheeks. “There is probably something a little wrong with you.”
“A little wrong with me? A little? I tried to kill you! And Daemon!” I shuddered as his lips pressed to my forehead. “I almost did.”
“But you didn’t. I’m here.” Those lips of his glided over my cheek. “I’m here, and so is Daemon. Open your eyes and look.”
Taking several deep breaths, I did as he asked. We weren’t alone. The Luxen stood several feet away, in his human form. He was alive, but he didn’t look exactly thrilled.
“I don’t care how he looks,” Luc said, guiding my gaze to him. “Look at me. Please.”
I looked at him.
Where his skin had started to peel away, there was nothing but faint pink marks along his cheeks. He looked like he had a sunburn, but I could still see him in my mind. Thin strips of flesh giving way, ripping—
“Stop.” He cupped my cheeks. “I’m okay. Don’t you see? I’m okay, Peaches.”
“But I hurt you and Daemon,” I whispered, folding my shaking fingers around his wrists. “I was going to kill you both. I stopped, but—”
“You stopped, and that’s all that matters.”
I wasn’t sure if that was true. Stopping wasn’t all that mattered. It didn’t erase the pain I’d caused them. What if it happened again and I couldn’t stop? Then what?
Luc made this sound in the back of his throat as he stared into my eyes. “We will figure this out. I keep saying that, but I promise you, Evie, we will figure this out. Okay? Believe in that. In me.”
I wanted to, badly, but this was beyond him—beyond us. My gaze shifted from his to the bodies strewn around us. Nausea twisted up my stomach. I’d done that, and I’d tried to do worse to Luc, who was the most powerful thing on this Earth it seemed, and yet, he had been breaking underneath me.
I didn’t understand how it was possible.
“I have really no idea how I did any of that. One of them hit me and knocked me down, and I saw my blood, and it was like a switch being thrown,” I told him, sliding my hands down his arms. “I heard his voice in my head, ordering me to prove that I was worth … a life. I think…”
“What?” His thumbs smoothed over my cheeks, drawing my gaze from the broken bodies.
“I think I’ve done this before … in a white room full of men who had hurt me.” I gave another shake of my head. “I don’t understand it. I just knew what to do. Picture it and make it happen.”
Luc was quiet for a long moment. “These men who you think hurt you … do you remember what they did to you?”
I shook my head in his loose grasp.
“Do you know what happened to them?”
I did. “I killed them.”
“Good.”
My gaze shot to his.
“Are you guys okay over there?” Zoe called out. “Because we’re all starting to get really worried.”
“You okay?” Luc asked quietly.
I nodded even though I wasn’t sure, because I couldn’t sit out here in the dwindling rain.
Luc took my hands and rose, helping me up. I let him turn me to where Daemon and Zoe stood.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Daemon. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.”
His lips were pressed in a thin line as he glanced at Luc and then nodded.
I didn’t expect him to accept my apology.
Daemon looked at Luc, and there were a thousand unsaid words in his hard, unforgiving expression.
“I know,” Luc said, obviously picking up on Daemon’s thoughts. “We’ll talk.”
Daemon inclined his head. “Yes, we will.”
Glancing at Zoe and finding that she was staring at me like she didn’t quite know what to say, I bit back a burst of shame and I looked away, my gaze drifting over the bodies, some still—
One of them was still alive, on his side and reaching for his thigh, where I could clearly see a gun still strapped there.
Luc saw it at the same time I did. He shot forward, catching the man’s right arm. The crack of bone was like dry twigs snapping. The man’s scream of pain was cut off by Luc’s hand around his neck.
Lifting the man clear off his feet, Luc held him in the air. The man’s face turned ruddy. Spittle flew as he clamored at Luc’s grip with his good hand. His feet kicked, but Luc held him there like he was nothing more than a bag of groceries.
“Every part of me wants to drag this out,” Luc said, his voice frighteningly calm. “I want you to fear every last second you have left. I want the very last thought you have to be how precious that last breath of air you took was.”
Stepping back, I bumped into a broken tree stump. I looked down, a little lost in the burned, ragged edges.
“Stop,” Daemon ordered, knocking a tree limb aside as if it were a paper bag as he stalked forward. “Luc, stop.”
“Now why would I do that, Daemon?”
“Because it would be wise to keep him alive. They know what she is.”
Wetting my lips, I swallowed hard. “Luc, he has a point. He could tell us why they keep coming … and maybe what I am.”
The man’s eyes bulged as Luc increased the pressure on his neck. He wasn’t going to stop. I thought about Kent. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t stop. As badly as I wanted to know why they kept coming after me, I could still understand.
I might’ve held my breath.
With what ap
peared to be great restraint, Luc took his fingers from the man’s throat, dropping him. He hit the rocky soil in a messy heap, dragging in air and sputtering.
Tense silence followed as Zoe crossed the clearing, her eyes full of barely contained wrath. “Are there any more of you out there? Any more teams coming?”
“No.” The man coughed. “We … we were the only team, but they’ll know … something is up if we … don’t radio in by night.”
Daemon glanced at Archer, but the Origin was zeroed in on Luc. I knew in that instance that Archer would support Luc if Luc decided to end this man’s life right then and there. Part of me thought that Luc might, even though he’d let go of the man. Deadly violence etched into his features, a promise of retribution.
“What is your name?” Luc asked.
Rolling onto his side, the man gagged as he struggled to breathe. “Steve,” he rasped. “Steven Chase.”
Luc’s lips curled. “You’re going to talk, Steve, and maybe, just maybe you’ll get to breathe a little longer.”
I expected the man to put up a fight, because he looked like he was the military sort. In all the movies I’d seen, people who looked like he did required a ton of convincing and torturing before they started spilling secrets.
Not Steven Chase.
He sang like a canary.
“We didn’t want any trouble with you guys. We really didn’t,” he rasped.
“Really?” Derision dripped from Luc’s tone as he bent down, grasping the man by the front of his shirt. Dragging him by the shirt, he lifted the man—like he was a kitten—to his feet. “Look around. You got a whole lot of trouble.”
“I know.” Steven was trembling, his broken arm hanging limply. “But we didn’t have a choice. We had a job to do. You all … were in the way. We only wanted her. Those were our orders. Take her out, and then we get to go home.”
* * *
Archer dragged the guy all the way back to the house. Literally. Dragged him by the scruff of his neck. Luc stayed close, but he didn’t speak. Not until we reached the house, and Grayson and Dawson returned.
“They were taken care of?” Luc asked, referencing those who had run, and when they nodded, I didn’t feel at all bad for those men. He turned to Daemon. “Secure the asshole.”
I trudged along, following Zoe, but Luc reached out, catching my arm. “Oh no. Not you. You’re staying out here with me for a moment.”
Zoe hesitated, and I thought it was for me, but then I realized she was hanging around for Luc. She was worried about him.
“It’s okay,” I said, just wanting to get this over with, figuring I knew why he wanted to talk to me. “He’s just going to yell at me—”
“Damn straight,” Luc growled.
My eyes narrowed on him. “And I’m not going to kill him.”
“You sure?” she asked.
I kind of felt bad for her having to ask that. “Yes.” I sighed. “I’m sure.”
Ahead of Zoe, Daemon’s lips twitched as he glanced back at us. “Come on, Zoe. Help me find something to tie this douchebag up with.”
Zoe didn’t move for a second, and then she finally turned away, stalking off toward the guys. I watched until the whole group was gone before letting out a ragged, bone-deep sigh. I turned to where Luc stood, vaguely registering the simmering fury etched into his coldly striking face, and I realized just how much he’d been holding back until he made sure I wasn’t going to kill anyone.
He drew in a long, slow breath. “I’m going to try to be calm about this, because of what just happened, but I need to get this off my chest, because if I don’t, I might actually implode.”
I crossed my arms. “I know—”
“You don’t know shit,” he said, seething as he stepped forward. “I think that is something we have established multiple times over.”
I blinked. “Well, that is completely—”
Luc shot forward, moving so fast I didn’t have a chance to react. His hands clasped my cheeks, tilting my head back. In a stuttered heartbeat, his mouth was on mine.
The kiss was deep and sudden, beautiful in its rawness, and my body reacted without thought to the almost brutal emotions pouring into the kiss. My hands landed on his chest, and my fingers dug into his shirt. I kissed him back, and it reached deep inside me, burning its way into my soul.
This was far better than being lectured.
By the time we both came up for air, Luc’s chest was rising raggedly under my hands. He rested his forehead against mine, and neither of us moved. I didn’t even open my eyes. We stood there in silence as the rain started coming down again, a fine sheen that settled on our skin.
“You need to know that I didn’t think you were going to be able to do what you did when they took you outside.”
“I didn’t, either,” I admitted.
“And that makes this worse. I didn’t know if I would make it to you in time,” he said, sending a shiver through me. “I thought that this time, this would be it. No more bargaining or miracles.”
Breathing in the scent of rain and woods, I opened my eyes. “It wasn’t.”
“It could’ve been.” His hands slipped off my cheeks, sliding down to my upper arms. He drew back, and my eyes fluttered open. Raindrops clung to his thick lashes. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again. I don’t care what you can do.”
“I … I had to do something. I had—”
“You didn’t have to do anything.” The hue of his eyes deepened to violet. “I had it handled. That’s what I do.”
“They killed Kent.” My voice cracked. “They were going to kill each one of you because of me. I couldn’t just stand there and let that happen.”
His jaw hardened. “You will stand there and allow that to happen if that’s what it takes for you to survive.”
I gaped at him. “Are you serious? You can’t be.”
“I’m dead serious.”
“And you would’ve been dead!” Pulling free, I took a step back, ignoring the fact that I’d almost killed him myself. “Zoe would’ve been dead. Everyone in that house would’ve been dead. I don’t care how special any of you are. You’re not immortal. You’re not untouchable, and if something happened to—” I cut myself off, wiping at the mist gathering on my face. “I know what I did was dangerous. I knew that when I made the decision to leave with them, I might die. I didn’t make that choice lightly.”
His eyes narrowed. “It was a stupid, careless, and reckless choice. I would’ve handled the situation.”
“By jeopardizing everyone’s lives in there? Is that how you would’ve handled it?”
Luc’s lips formed a thin, hard line.
“That’s how you’ve handled it before, right? With Paris?”
“Someone’s been talking.” His shoulders tensed.
I knew it was a harsh thing to bring up, but I had to. “You’ve done it before. Put others at risk for me. You would’ve sacrificed everyone in that room, and you can’t keep doing that, Luc.” Struggling to stay calm, I swept my wet hair back from my face. “That was my choice to make—”
“It was not your choice.” Anger filled his voice. “I know I said this to you before, but I feel like I need to repeat myself just so you’re clear. I didn’t spend half of my godforsaken life trying to keep you alive for you to just throw it all away!”
“I wasn’t throwing it away!” I yelled, hands balling. “I was trying to save the lives of people I care about. If you honestly think I would’ve stood by and allowed more people to die because of me, then you don’t know me at all.”
38
Everyone in the house studiously averted their gazes the moment I walked through the busted front door. I didn’t have it in me to be embarrassed that they clearly had either heard or seen everything.
A quick glimpse around the room revealed several scorched patches on the floor against the walls. There were no bodies. There was nothing left of them.
I didn’t even blink an eye.
Archer’s gaze flickered over my shoulder, and I knew without looking that Luc had joined us. I didn’t want to look at him, because I understood why he was mad, but he also had to understand why I’d done what I had.
I kept striding forward, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw that someone had laid a blanket over Kent, covering his upper body. It was Zoe. She was still kneeling by his body, her face stained with fresh tears.
My chest squeezed painfully as I stopped in front of the man. Up close, I saw that he was middle-aged, with fine lines around his eyes and pinched mouth. His dark eyes darted to my face. He looked normal to me, like he’d be married with 2.5 kids. A guy who’d spend Saturday mornings mowing the grass and chatting with his neighbors about mulch and Weed Eaters.
And he’d been sent to either apprehend a teenage girl or kill her, and he’d accepted the job. Didn’t quit or anything like that.
Pushing aside the roiling emotions, I exhaled raggedly. “I want to know what I am, and if you even try to lie, I swear to God, I’ll break your other arm.”
“Dayum,” someone murmured behind me.
Steven’s gaze darted around the room, and I could feel Luc growing closer. I didn’t even want to know how I knew that, but I did. The man’s bruised throat worked on a swallow. “My team … was hired. I don’t know who—”
“You might want to think twice about going down that route.” Luc glided up to my side. “You have another 205 bones I can break, and you have a lot of tissues that I can liquify with a touch.”
My lip curled with disgust.
Luc grinned. “So you wanna try answering that question again?”
“I’m kind of hoping he doesn’t answer.” Daemon strode toward the kitchen, shoving a couch cushion out of the way. “I have some pent-up aggression I would love to really work out.”
I crossed my arms. “I think you really need to answer the question differently.”
Steven’s chest rose raggedly. “We don’t work for the government. We’re a part of the Sons of Liberty.”
Daemon sighed. “I don’t think you’re taking us seriously.” He stepped forward, his smile as eerie and cold as Luc’s. “I think I need to show you just how serious we are.”
The Burning Shadow Page 41