by Sosie Frost
My words trembled. “But I can’t give him a baby.”
Chloe took my hand. “But you can give him a life. You can give him happiness. Love. Forgiveness. Babies never happen overnight…not unless you’re very lucky.” She glanced at Dad with a sly smile. “But love can. And as long as you’re willing to work at it, as long as you want to make the sacrifices, then you’ll have something just as precious as a baby. You’ll have that promise. And it’s stronger than any vows, late night feedings, or diaper changes.”
The rain slowed. A peek of sunlight glistened in the window.
Dad checked his phone. “Looks like we have a couple minutes before the next wave comes through. Want to take a quick peek around the neighborhood? Ambrose will be waiting for us, somewhere.”
I nodded. He gave me a hug.
“And to think…” He touched my cheek, his voice bitter. “I was gonna leave Butterpond. What was I thinking? I can’t move. My little girl needs me.”
That I couldn’t tolerate.
Not now. Not after seeing how happy Chloe was. Not after hearing the excitement in Dad’s voice.
Not now that I knew what they had was real.
It might have bewildered me, and the age difference made no sense, but they were together now. Husband and wife. A family with babies on the way, rings on their fingers, and enough courage to ignore any judgment passed their way.
I took Dad’s hand, but I couldn’t look at him.
“Dad, since we lost mom…I believed I was helping you,” I said. “I’ve cooked the dinners and cleaned the house and helped at the clinic. I thought you needed me to take care of you. But I was wrong…” I took a breath. “You’ve been taking care of me. This whole time. I’ve never once stepped out on my own, never once taken a risk. I knew you would be there, so I never had to face the world myself. I never made a life for myself because I was convinced that you needed me in yours.”
Dad sighed. “Gretchen, you’re my daughter. I will always need you in my life.”
“I know. And I’m not going anywhere…” I smiled at Chloe. “But you two are.”
Dad’s eyebrow rose. “What? Where are we going?”
“You guys have been through enough. Dad, you worked so hard for so long. You sold the clinic. You want that new life. The retirement. Go take it. Move to the Bahamas with Chloe. Live in paradise. Raise your kids. You don’t need anything in Butterpond.”
Dad frowned. “What about you?”
“I’ve got a dog to chase and a man to wrangle.” I smirked. “It’s about time I started my own life. Really started it. Can’t be afraid of the unknown anymore, and I can’t use you as an excuse. You have your wife, your babies, and your tropical paradise waiting, and I couldn’t be happier for you.”
For the first time in months, Dad stood a little taller, grinned a little brighter. “Are you sure, sunshine?”
“We both deserve to be happy. I want Marius. You have Chloe. This is how we did it.”
Chloe tapped her nails against her mug, winking with glee. “You will always have a plane ticket waiting for you. You can visit us anytime.”
Not a bad perk. “Of course. All the time.”
Dad trapped me in a hug. Fierce. Squeezing every last bit of air out of me.
“You know how much I love you, right?” he asked.
“As much as I love you.”
He released me, pretending to brush a bit of dust from his eye. “Well…I’m not leaving yet. You’re gonna be stuck with me for another couple weeks.”
“I can deal with that.”
He took my hand. “Come on. We gotta go look for Ambrose. I’m sure as hell not leaving the country until I know that mongrel is safe with you.”
I had no idea where to look for Ambrose
No idea where he would’ve gone, where he would’ve hid, or why he would leave.
It was as if he disappeared into thin air.
But I wasn’t going to sleep, wasn’t going to rest, until I had both of them back.
First, I’d find my best friend.
Then, I’d take back the man I loved.
22
Marius
The dog was bathed, groomed, and smelled vaguely of cherries courtesy of some expensive as fuck special shampoo. The skunk hadn’t worn off, but at least Ambrose could be in public again.
I crashed into the slippery mud, falling on my ass with a hose in one hand and an ungrateful mutt in the other.
“You came to me for help.” I reminded him. “You have no fucking idea how hard it is to bathe a dog on one leg.”
Little bastard didn’t care. He was also unlikely to reimburse me for the twenty-five dollars in tomato soup I’d spent de-skunking him. Figured it’d be a good favor for Gretchen, but the little dick kept trying to escape.
No gratitude at all. For as sweet as Gretchen was, her dog was an asshole.
I grabbed a beach towel and struggled to corral the border collie. He didn’t make it easy. He tugged against the leash and attempted to drag me across the yard. What magic word had Gretchen used to train the monster? I had better luck with the fucking alpaca than Ambrose.
An audience made it worse. A ready-to-burst Micah waddled to the yard, took one look at the scene, and nearly went into labor.
“You have Ambrose?” She covered her eyes. “Oh, my God. Gretchen is going to kill you.”
At this point, I’d take it. At least she’d talk to me while she strangled me. “I’m doing her a favor.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“What?”
“The entire town thinks Ambrose is missing,” she said.
I shrugged. “Missing? No. The little prick wanted to visit the rejects in the barn. Made enemies with a skunk on the way.”
“You’ve had him this whole time?”
The dog juked on his leash. I landed on my ass once more. “What was I going to do? He reeked. He was miserable. I wasn’t gonna make Gretchen bathe that stink off him. Figured…it’d be a chance to win her back.”
Micah rubbed her belly—swollen and beautiful. I couldn’t begrudge her for her luck, but I sure as hell could be envious.
“You thought you’d win her over by kidnapping her dog?”
“I didn’t kidnap him.”
“She organized search parties.”
“He’s only been here a couple hours!”
Micah sighed. “You have no idea the trouble you’re in.”
I’d already passed beyond trouble with Gretchen. I’d ruined it. Couldn’t make anything worse.
But I could fix it.
Starting now.
“Ambrose is gonna help me,” I said.
“Help you do what?”
“Propose to Gretchen.”
Micah clutched her tummy in shock. “You what?”
“Are you gonna cross your legs, or should I tell Jules his kid is on the way?”
“You’re proposing?”
“Why not?”
“Maybe you should apologize first?”
“I plan to apologize for the rest of our lives. Just call her for me.”
Micah crossed her arms. “And tell her what?”
“Tell her if she wants to see her dog again she’s gotta go through me.”
“Fantastic. Now it’s a hostage situation!” Micah waddled to the house. “How could this go wrong?”
Question was, how could it go right?
I’d already hurt her. Confused her. Blew every shot with her. All that remained was being honest with her.
Maybe she’d still want me after hearing the truth, or maybe I’d lose her forever.
I hobbled with the towel and tried my best to dry Ambrose’s fur. Didn’t work, especially once he took a dive into the grass and rolled every bit of pollen, dirt, and leaf into his coat.
Whatever. At least he didn’t smell like death anymore. He owed me for this.
Gretchen’s car pulled up to the farm, brakes squealing and gravel flying. She’d hardly parked before bursting from the drive
r’s seat and sprinting across the yard to reunite with her best friend.
“Ambrose!”
Instant tears. Gretchen dissolved into a sobbing mess, collapsing on the grass as Ambrose bolted into her arms. He bowled her over, but she didn’t care, sharing the same yips and yowls as her dog.
My brothers watched from the porch. Tidus nudged Quint.
“Twenty bucks says she kicks his ass.”
He never should’ve offered the bet. Quint grinned, kicked a loose floorboard, and retrieved my leg from the hiding spot.
“You’re on,” he said. He called to Gretchen before arming her with my leg. “Hey Gretchen, you might need this.”
Shit.
Gretchen peeled herself away from the dog long enough to grab my leg, stalk to my side, and beat the everloving shit out of me.
“You!” She smacked me with the leg. “You had Ambrose? And you didn’t call me? Why does he smell so bad?”
The prosthetic cracked against my hip. I bent, protecting a far more vulnerable place. “He got skunked.”
“I.” Smack. “Was.” Smack. “So.” Smack. “Worried!”
And now I was black and blue. Christ, I’d already covered myself in mud, gotten doused in the skunk stench, and wrangled the fucking dog. What the hell did she have to be pissed about?
“He’s fine!” I let her get one final blow, preventing her from jamming my own foot up my ass. I yanked the prosthetic out of her hands and forced her to look at me. “I was going to call you. We need to talk.”
“You kidnapped my dog!”
“He’s safe.”
“How could you do this to me?”
Her eyes watered. Terrible tears rolled over her cheeks.
Shit. What sort of monster caused this much pain to the woman he loved?
She looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Her clothes were wrinkled, her eyes puffy from crying, and even her pigtails had gone cock-eyed, one on top of her head, the other drifting to her ear. She beat at my chest though her hands gripped my shirt. Holding herself up?
Holding me closer?
“You know what he means to me!” Gretchen sniffled. “You know he’s all I had. I was alone, Marius. Alone and miserable and…”
“I know.”
“How could you? I confided in you! You know why I can’t be without him!”
I wrapped my arms over her, glancing to the porch. My brothers wisely backed off, herded inside by Micah. She gave me a smile.
I’d need the kindness. Wasn’t sure what Gretchen would do once I ripped her heart out for good.
“You hurt me.” She nearly crumbled to the ground. “You left me. Didn’t say a word. You wouldn’t tell me why…”
“Come on. I need your help.”
Her eyes widened. Fuck. Was it the first time I’d ever asked for her help?
Why the hell did she look so surprised?
Why did she seem so relieved?
I hobbled to my crutches and led her to the house, hopping the steps and holding the door for her. She shook her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks, but I didn’t let her go.
This time, she was the one who prepared to run.
Never again. We were past secrets and escaping, lies and self-destruction. It was time to talk.
And then it was up to fate to decide. Like she’d always wanted. Like she’d always dreamed.
I led her to my room, but Gretchen slapped my cheek. I deserved that, but it didn’t soothe her. She clutched her chest with a single sob.
My turn to hurt her.
I didn’t look away. Didn’t hide. Refused to weep.
Just stated the awful truth and prayed she’d let me explain.
“I can’t have children, Gretchen.”
Her knees wobbled. She tripped over Ambrose, still curling around her feet, and planted on my bed.
“You…?”
A hush of pain stole her voice after it’d strangled every bit of strength from me. “I didn’t tell you.”
“Marius.”
“The doctor warned me that the blast from the IED might have harmed other places…not just the leg it mangled, but more delicate areas. The concussive force might have…” I clenched my jaw. “I didn’t believe him. Not until we tried. Not until…”
More tears.
Fuck. I should have expected it, but I’d never get used to seeing her cry.
If she let me, I’d make sure she never wept again.
“You didn’t tell me,” she whispered.
“What was I supposed to say?”
It wasn’t rhetorical. I needed her to tell me because I didn’t know what words would have explained it, how I could have softened it, what would make it stop hurting. I still didn’t know.
What to say. How to feel. How to live.
How to give her the life she deserved or the future she’d dreamt of all her life.
Gretchen stood, her breath trembling. She reached for my hand, tugging me closer to her. I didn’t want to move. Couldn’t. My strength gave out, and she let me sit on the bed.
Then, with a gentle touch, she pushed me back.
Straddled my hips.
Leaned down and kissed me. Gently. So softly. A blessing I didn’t deserve and a promise I couldn’t keep.
“You should have told me…” Her hand caressed my cheek, but she didn’t move away. She kissed everywhere her fingertips touched, moving lower as my body hardened in every repulsive way. “You never should’ve carried that burden alone.”
“And break your heart?”
“What about yours?”
“Forget about me.”
“I can’t.” She stared at me, her gaze so kind, so forgiving that it only curdled my wretched soul more. “Marius…I didn’t fall in love with you when I first saw you.”
“How could you?”
Her smile peeked, timid and shy. “I fell in love with you a couple minutes later.”
My heart stopped. I deserved the pain.
How could I trap this beautiful angel in my arms and offer her nothing in return?
“I can’t give you a future,” I said. “You want so much more than I can offer.”
Her kiss heated me again, but I didn’t trust that crazed, desperate pulse between my legs. It’d already ruined so much.
But Gretchen wasn’t afraid. She didn’t hide from the contact or flinch away from the truth. With tender hands, she traced a path over my chest, across my abs, and to the button on my jeans.
“No…” I gritted my teeth. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Do what?” She released my cock and clutched that terrible, hardening shaft. “Love you?”
“Sweetness—”
Gretchen said nothing as she shimmied from her shorts and dropped her panties to the floor. I tensed, but she didn’t let me sit up. With a deliberate, absolutely stunning slowness, she lowered herself over my cock and embedded herself to the hilt.
I’d never let myself lose control. I’d feared this moment too much, when she would need to take the lead and give herself pleasure upon my cock.
But it wasn’t domination.
It was trust.
Beautiful and soft, haunting and possessive. Gretchen trembled on my cock, her hips spread wide. She revealed herself to me, and I arched in gratitude just to watch how I stretched her, how she struggled to take me, how I fit every last inch of myself within her tiny slit.
And how much we both loved that fullness.
It wasn’t vulgar. Wasn’t rushed. Gretchen rode me with a quiet reverence, staring at me with wide eyes and a perfect smile. Every stroke shivered my spine and tightened that coiling, desperate beast inside me.
But it didn’t lash out. Didn’t fight her. Didn’t even try to grip her hips, flip her over, and pound the relief from her wanting body.
She welcomed me inside her…
And I’d never felt so at peace.
“I love you, Marius,” she whispered. Her voice wavered with excitement, but tears still dotted he
r cheeks. I brushed them away with my thumb. “All I’ve ever wanted in this world is to love someone. I wanted true love, but I found something better.”
“What’s that?”
“Real love.”
I kissed her hands. The shame still darkened me, destroyed me. “But I can’t give you what you need, Gretchen.”
“You are what I need. What I’ve always needed.”
“What about a family?”
She slowed her strokes and simply took my cock. It filled her completely.
“You are my family…” Her promise would have made me explode then and there. “And we’re gonna be together forever, you and me.”
“What if it’s just us?”
“Then I can keep you all to myself.”
“What about a baby?”
She arched an eyebrow. “We don’t ever have to stop trying. And that’s beautiful, Marius. We can do it together. We can work through it together. We can heal together.”
“You’ve already healed me more than you know.”
“Then prove it to me, sailor.” Her motions began again, quicker and more deliberate. “I want to feel it, Marius.”
“Feel what?”
Her words were eclipsed in a quiet, consuming pleasure. “You.”
I sat up, but I didn’t pull her from my lap. Just took her in my arms, held her closer, and helped deliver her into that ecstasy with a gentle, loving stroke of my hips.
I kissed her as the heat pounded inside me.
One stroke. Two. Three.
All it took.
I emptied myself into her, but I delivered so much more than my own selfish desire.
Promises. Devotion. Honesty.
I clutched her close, savoring her trembling orgasm, and banished my fears.
“Marry me.”
Gretchen froze, her fingers squeezing my shoulders. “What?”
“Marry me.”
“…Now?”
“Why waste time with bullshit?”
She swallowed, stunned into silence. A first. “I…”
“I love you, Gretchen. I told you once you were mine, and I let you get away. I’ll be damned if I lose you again.”
Her smile grew. She arched on my cock, welcoming another jet of heat into her core.
“I can’t promise you anything more than me and you,” I whispered.
“Yes, you can.” Her words softened. “You can promise me happiness.”