Chapter 18
It was a long day after burying Louisa and her baby. We were determined to stay busy and did what we could to take our minds off of recent horrors and tragedies. Boggs and Gus carried in the leather chair that had been left in the step van and we rearranged the living room. Emilie and I volunteered to clean the third bedroom where the mess of both birth and death remained. We rearranged that room as well, hoping to make it different enough so that it might not remind Susan of the tragedies that had just occurred there. The mattress from Louisa’s bed wasn’t salvageable, so was carried outside and placed behind the shed along with the box springs and frame. We set the headboard from Louisa’s bed against a wall and placed Susan’s twin bed in front of it so that it resembled a daybed. We exchanged the night stand for one from the room I shared with Boggs. The window had been left open while we worked and the sickly sweet smell was finally gone. We finished our work sooner than we had expected, leaving the afternoon free.
Snow had fallen overnight and covered the cabin and woods in a thin white blanket. It was decided our trip across the lake would be best delayed until the snowfall had melted. The sun was shining, so we hoped that would be soon.
Susan seemed especially sad so Gus suggested we all spend time outside. Something about the sunlight giving us energy. I hadn’t felt any zombie presences since the baby had turned, so we ventured out in front of the cabin. Gus had asked us girls to walk the perimeter of the cabin to make sure the boards over the windows hadn’t come loose. He and Boggs were setting traps for small animals at the edge of the woods.
“I think Gus just wants to keep us busy,” said Emilie as she tried to jiggle the board that covered the front living room window, checking its security.
“I think you’re right,” I said. “But I think he knows what he’s doing. We need to stay active.”
“I’m hungry,” mumbled Susan.
“We’ll make lunch soon,” I said.
“I want a huge cheeseburger and fries,” moaned Susan. “And a strawberry milkshake.”
“Oh my God that sounds so good,” moaned Emilie.
“Stop, you guys!” I groaned, teasing them. “I’m so sick of canned food.”
“I think you’re losing weight, Zoe,” said Emilie. “You need to eat more.”
“Nothing really tastes good,” I said.
“Maybe Gus and Adam will catch something,” said Susan.
“Mmm, a cow,” said Em. “I’d love a cow!”
“We should plan out a garden for spring,” I said.
“Zucchini,” said Emilie with a smile.
Gus and Boggs joined us on the porch.
“What are you girls chattering about?” asked Gus as he kissed Em on the cheek.
“Food,” mumbled Susan.
“We might give fishing a try today,” said Boggs.
“Will we use the raft?” I asked.
“What raft?” asked Emilie and Susan at the same time as one another.
“There’s an inflatable raft in the shed,” answered Gus. “We’re hoping to use it to cross the lake and fetch the supplies from the Explorer. We need to inspect it first, though. Make sure it holds air, camouflage it.”
“Why camouflage?” asked Emilie.
“Bright orange is just too visible for my taste,” answered Gus.
We all looked to the sky at the same time. It had been weeks since we had heard a helicopter, but the sound was unmistakable. I started to walk down the porch steps and shielded my eyes from the sun as the chopper came into view above the tree line. Someone pulled me back forcefully, causing my breath to catch in my chest.
“No, darlin,” said Gus firmly.
He gently pushed me back against the cabin where the others joined me. The sound from the helicopter was deafening and I covered my ears in protest. Gus stood in front of us with his arms outstretched to make sure we all stayed back and out of sight. I had learned to trust him with my life, and trusted him now to know what he was doing. Slowly, Gus crept to the edge of the porch and peered up at the sky. The chopper sounded like it was flying away from us now. The quiet soon returned.
“It was military,” said Gus.
“Why didn’t we flag it down?” I asked. My system was flooded with adrenaline.
“I don’t trust the government,” said Gus. “I don’t trust anyone now, except for the four of you.”
“He’s right,” said Boggs. “That’s the first sign of civilization we’ve seen and we don’t know what other kinds of wackos and hellish creatures might be out there.”
“Let’s get inside,” said Gus. “Take a break.”
We made instant oatmeal for a late lunch and ate it in the living room. It was one of the first things I’d eaten in days that actually tasted good. We lit the fire and tried to relax. We decided to take turns talking about some of our favorite memories. I was surprised when Boggs described how our two families had gone to a U-cut Christmas tree farm when he was nine and I was six. I hadn’t thought about that day in a long time. His dad had arranged for a company to come to their house while we were gone for the day to install a tree house. We had gotten so excited when we saw it for the first time.
“Talking about all this stuff makes me sad,” I said. I was sitting beside Boggs and leaned into him.
“Maybe we should talk about the future instead?” suggested Emilie.
“That’ll just be depressing,” said Susan.
“Let’s go catch some fish,” I said and stood. “How many poles do we have?”
I held a hand out to Boggs, who reached up and took it in his. He stood slowly and looked at me like he wanted to ravage me.
“Three,” he said with a smile.
“Why don’t you two go on and catch us some dinner,” said Gus. “Keep your guns ready and Zoe, keep your mind focused.” He looked at me very seriously.
“Maybe we should all go?” I asked.
“No, go have some quality alone time. We’ll get a frying pan ready and set the table,” the cowboy answered. “Just stay quiet and out of sight incase Big Brother does another fly-over.”
“Thanks, Gus,” said Boggs as we walked by, giving the other man a light thump on the back. He still held my hand in his, and pulled me along with him. “C’mon, Zo, let’s get the gear ready.”
“Will you bait my hook?” I asked as we walked to the kitchen where he had organized the gear in a tall cabinet.
“If you hold my pole in your hand,” he joked.
“Funny, Boggs.” I swatted his arm playfully.
I went into one of the large kitchen drawers and fetched a Tupperware container in which to carry the smaller gear. There wasn’t much to haul but I thought keeping it organized would be wise.
“Do we have bait?” I asked.
“Ya, a jar of salmon eggs. If that doesn’t work we’ll dig up some worms or catch some bugs. Zoe, do you have your revolver?”
“Ya, and it’s even loaded,” I answered.
“Don’t talk to me about loaded guns, Zo. You have no idea how much I need you right now.”
I felt my face flush.
“Ok, ready?” he asked.
“Ya.”
“Grab a blanket and I’ll carry the gear and poles.” He paused. “Oh, a pillowcase too.”
I looked at him funny. “Why?”
“To carry the bounty of fish home.” He winked at me.
It was mid afternoon when we began our walk through the woods to the lake’s edge. We took the same short path we had used to return on foot from the Explorer after returning from the bed and breakfast. I was glad the lake was close. I didn’t want to be too far from the cabin. Boggs picked out a flat sandy spot that was bordered by rocks large enough to sit upon. I spread one of the two blan
kets I had brought with out on top of the damp sand. The snow had melted this close to the water. Boggs sat beside me and began rigging the lines. He had brought all three poles, knowing it would increase our chances of catching something. He insisted that I watch him rig the first two and return demonstrate on the third. I agreed and studied carefully, knowing it was a skill that may help keep us all alive.
Once the bobbers were attached to the lines and the hooks were baited, we cast them out into the still water of Lake Arrow. Casting was one skill I had retained from outings as a child. Gray clouds were rolling in but the day was proving to be warmer than recent temperatures had reached.
“Think we’ll catch anything?” I asked.
“I hope so. There should be trout, at least.”
We sat quietly looking out at the lake. Boggs reached over and took my hand.
“It’s been a rough couple of days, Zo. Are you doing ok?”
I sighed, still watching the lake. “I suppose so,” I said quietly. “I suppose we all have to hang in there.”
“Zoe, look at me.”
I looked over. I studied the lines of his face, the way his dark hair always had a stray curl near his forehead. His beard stubble was growing. His bright blue eyes studied me in return. He held an arm out, and I scooted closer to him.
“We’ll get through this, Zo.”
It was at that moment I saw one of the three bobbers dunk under the surface of the water and bounce back wildly.
“Got one!” I whispered, not daring to yell.
Boggs jumped up and picked the pole up from where he had wedged it between some rocks. He gave the pole a flick backwards to set the hook and began reeling. I was standing beside him, waiting anxiously to see what would appear on the other end.
The fish finally broke the surface. It splashed about, struggling to dislodge itself from the barbed hook. I smiled when Boggs gently lifted it, still using the pole, and carefully moved it through the air to hang over the shore.
“Grab the pillowcase, Zo?”
I scuttled over to where the makeshift fish sack had been set, then walked up to the flailing trout and held the case open. I helped get it inside and Boggs set the pole down to come help dislodge the hook from its mouth. The fish continued to thrash about, so Boggs took the sack from me and twisted the top closed. He beat it against one of the larger rocks to end the misery of the poor fish.
“She’s a beauty,” said Boggs. The trout was close to a foot long.
“I hope we get more,” I said with a smile on my face.
“You know, we might be luckier if we fish naked,” said Boggs in a serious tone.
I looked at him for moment before I laughed.
“You’re so full of it today,” I said.
He groaned. “You have no idea. Give me ten minutes? Please?” He looked at me pleadingly.
“Out here?” I asked, shocked.
“Please?” He walked closer to me and held onto the sleeves of my shirt gently. He looked down, then slowly up to my face. “Pretty please?” He was doing his best to make pathetic puppy dog eyes at me.
“Boggs…”
He leaned in and kissed me with passion. His hands left my sleeves and ran up the inside of my shirt. The coldness of his fingers made me gasp. He backed away just enough to pull his shirt over his head. I stared at his bare chest and my breathing quickened. I pulled my own shirt off and allowed Boggs to reach behind me to unhook my bra. He leaned down and took one of my breasts into his mouth and sucked deeply, causing me to gasp.
“Boggs,” I whispered. “That hurts.”
He took more of my breast into his mouth and moaned, but continued with a gentler suction. His hands searched for my pants and tugged at them.
I reached down to lift his chin to me. He stood back up and moved his mouth to my neck. I moaned from the pleasure it caused. I brought my hands to his chest and studied his muscles with my palms. He pulled my pants down past my hips and I stepped out of them.
“Are you sure we should do this, here?” I whispered.
“Oh God, Zoe, I think we should do this everywhere,” he said against my neck.
I fumbled for his belt buckle and hurriedly unfastened his fly.
“Can we try something new?” he whispered into my ear.
I nodded into his chest. “MmHmm.”
He knelt on the blanket we had laid out and pulled me down to him. He sat down and started to lie on his back, pulling me on top of him. I straddled his body and felt his hardness searching for me. He reached up to hold both of my breasts in his hands and looked at me lovingly. I situated myself on top of him so that I could slide onto of his erection. Once he was inside of me, I groaned a little louder than I had meant to. His was kneading my breasts with too much force so I placed my hands on his and guided them to my hips instead. I ground against him with new found eagerness and my body rippled with orgasmic pleasure sooner than I had meant for it to. Boggs followed suit, filling me with the physical sign of his love. I collapsed onto him and he held me tenderly.
“That was amazing, Zoe,” he whispered into my ear. “You are amazing.”
We stayed like that until we noticed it was growing dark outside.
“Zo?”
“Hmm?”
“Let’s get this fish back to the others. It’s getting dark.”
“Ok,” I said, lazily. I climbed off of him and found myself wishing we could stay. We both got dressed and went to reel in the last two lines. To our delight, one of the two had a smaller trout hooked. It didn’t give much of a fight.
I was tasked with carrying back the two blankets and the case holding the fish. Boggs carried the poles and gear.
When we returned to the cabin, the other three had thrown together a Shepherd’s Pie using instant mashed potatoes and canned vegetables. I was told it also had fresh meat from one of the traps. I didn’t ask what kind, not wanting to know. It was baking in the oven and the cabin smelled delightful. Boggs took the two fish to the kitchen sink to clean them.
“Susan,” called Boggs.
Susan came walking into the kitchen eagerly, which I didn’t like. “Yes, Adam? What is it?”
“Come over to the sink please?”
I sat at the kitchen table and watched her saunter to Boggs’ side. I stifled a giggle when I saw her facial expression as she looked at what he was doing.
“That is so gross,” she said. “I don’t want to see dead fish cut open!” She slapped him playfully on the shoulder.
I saw him laugh under his breath.
Gus had followed her into the room and was leaning against the wall, smirking. “You all need to learn how to clean fish, and anything else we catch. This is going to be how we stay alive,” he said with authority.
“It’s not so bad,” said Emilie. “Susan, you can do it.”
“Barf,” is all Susan said in reply.
“Gus, can you take Zoe outside to fill a pan with snow?” asked Boggs. “I’ll clean the fish and we can pack it on ice for the night since you all made supper already.”
I stood, wincing from sore muscles.
“You ok?” asked Emilie.
I nodded. “Just sore.”
Gus and I walked to the porch together. I was getting used to accompanying the others outside, knowing I was their zombie alarm system. He brought a nine-by-thirteen deep dish pan to use for snow. To my dismay white flakes were again falling from the sky.
“Guess this means another wait on going to the Explorer?” I mumbled.
Gus looked up at the sky. “Whatcha need so bad?”
“I was hoping for the books.”
“You look pale, Zoe. You feeling ok?”
“Just tired.”
“How’s your hip?”
I
yawned. “It’s been feeling better the past few days. I noticed that…the green streaks…”
“Ya?” he asked.
“Louisa had them on her face after she was finally gone. I mean after she had turned and you...” I didn’t really want to say the words.
Gus sighed and put his hands on his hips. “I guess that lends credence to my theory on your hip, huh?”
“Ya I guess so.”
“Go ahead and sit on the steps and I’ll fill the pan up for Boggs.”
“I’m still scared I’ll die in the night and turn into one of them,” I said.
“Zoe, it’s been almost a month now. I don’t think that’s going to happen, darlin.’ Try not to worry so much.”
“’Kay.”
I watched as he set to work scooping snow into the pan.
“Gus?” I asked.
“Yup?”
“What kind of meat is in the oven?”
He laughed. “Rabbit.”
“I guess that’s not so bad,” I said as I chewed on a thumbnail.
“Tastes just like chicken,” he joked.
Within an hour the sun had set and the Shepherd’s Pie was ready to eat. Gus had found a stool in the shed and had brought it in as a fifth seat, allowing us to all sit at the table at the same time. The trout was cleaned and on ice inside the fridge. Boggs had said that the ice would help keep the fish from drying out.
Emilie carried the hot casserole dish to the center of the table using two hot pads. Since she had thrown the recipe together, we all suggested she be served first. Gus was happy to pile the hot food onto her plate, and continued to do so around the table. As good as it smelled, as soon as the food hit my plate my stomach churned in protest and I felt vomit creeping up my throat. I covered my mouth with my hand and stood, knocking my chair over. I ran to the stairs and up to the bathroom. I wasn’t able to make it all the way to the toilet, so vomited into the sink. The sight and smell of what came from my own stomach made me retch again. Tears streamed down my face from the strain of vomiting. I fumbled with a hand towel and washed my hands and face. The room was spinning and I sat on the floor near the toilet with my back against the wall.
After several minutes, there was a light knock on the still-open door. I looked up. Gus was standing there with a look of concern on his face.
“Zoe? You ok darlin’?” he asked quietly.
I shook my head no. “I feel really sick.”
“Can I come in?” he asked.
I nodded. “Where’s Boggs?”
“They’re all downstairs eating.”
The thought of the food made me dry heave.
“Slow down, Zoe,” said Gus. He put a wash cloth under the tap, wrung it out, and placed it on my forehead. He folded a bath towel and set it on my lap. “Just in case you lose more cookies,” he explained. “That’s what my mom used to do for me when I was little. I used to get sick a lot.”
“Do you really think the olive juice made me sick?” I asked.
“Nah,” he said. “I was just kidding about that. You’ve eaten the same things the rest of us have, so I doubt it’s food poisoning.” He felt my forehead. “You don’t feel like you have a fever, so I don’t think the infection is back.” He looked thoughtful for several moments. “Do you feel like you can go lay down for awhile?”
I shook my head no. “Maybe a hot bath and some tea?”
“Ok. I’ll have Em come up and help you. Just sit tight for a bit?”
I nodded. As he left the room, I situated myself over the toilet and threw up again. My stomach empty, it was just bile that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Afterward, I stood and rinsed my mouth using my hands to cup water from the sink faucet. I had started shaking, so sat back down. It took Emilie several minutes to join me in the bathroom. She carried a cup of steaming tea, set it on the counter, and sat across from me.
“Gus said you’re feeling pretty pukey,” she said quietly.
“I feel a little better now,”
“Zo, you’re shaking. When did you eat last?”
“Lunch. The oatmeal just came back up.”
“Gus said you want to take a bath.”
“Ya, I feel kinda gross.”
“Want me to run the water for you?”
I nodded. “Ya. Thanks.”
“Everyone’s pretty worried about you, Zoe. Gus wants me to ask you some personal stuff.”
I looked up. “What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s worried that with the throwing up, not eating, and being tired it might be something we need to check into. He wants to know how long it’s been since you had a period.”
“No,” I said quickly. “Nuh-uh, no way.”
“Zoe?” Gus’ voice interrupted from the hallway. “Sorry to be so personal but we need to know. We’re just trying to help.”
“God, no.” I shook my head back and forth.
“Zoe, calm down,” said Gus. “We’ll get it figured out.” He looked at Emilie. “Em, there’s some stuff about myself I haven’t told you yet. I want you to stay while I talk to Zoe, but I don’t want you getting upset.”
She looked at him in confusion. Their eyes locked before she spoke. “Ok, Gus. Ok.”
Gus looked back at me. “Zoe, when I was just out of high school I got married. We were only eighteen. Thought we were in love. We had two kids together. Everything was great for awhile until she started fooling around and left me for another guy. She took the kids with her. Anyway, she felt a lot like you’ve been feeling early on both times she was expecting. I might be wrong, but we need to know if it’s a possibility here. Do you understand?” He studied me, his eyes soft and full of caring.
“Yes,” I said.
“Have you had a period since this all happened?” he asked.
I knew he meant since the dead had risen and our world was turned upside down. I shook my head no. “I thought I was going to start back at the bed and breakfast, but never did.”
Gus looked down, deep in thought. “We’ve been here for just over three weeks. Are you on the pill, or using birth control?”
I shook my head no.
Gus sighed in obvious disapproval.
I started crying. “Don’t be mad at me.” I sniffled.
“No one’s mad,” said Gus. “And if I get mad at anyone, it’ll be at Boggs.”
Gus stood, leaving me and Emilie alone in the bathroom.
“Wow,” she said. I looked up at her. “I didn’t know he had kids. Or had been married.”
“Don’t be too rough on him, Em. It might just be hard for him to talk about. You know he’s in love with you now, and that’s what should matter.”
“I know,” she said, followed by a heavy breath. “Back at the general store I raided the feminine aisle. I kinda took a little of everything. I think you should take a home pregnancy test, Zo.”
“I don’t want to know,” I mumbled.
Emilie stood and rummage beneath the cabinet. “I stocked it all up here since most of it belongs in the bathroom. I should have mentioned there’s condoms, KY, pads, tampons. I even grabbed yeast infection cream.”
The mention of all the personal products had me beyond just embarrassed. “I just want to hide, Em.”
“Too bad,” she said as she stood with a small rectangular box in hand. “There’s nowhere to go.”
She walked to the claw foot tub and turned the faucet off. She handed me the box. I just stared at it. “Zoe, I’m going to give you some privacy. Pee on the stick. There’s directions inside. Set it on the counter and take your bath. If you want I can come in later and sit with you, help you read it?”
“Kay.”
She left me alone in the small room. I opened the box and took out the directions. I opened them, flattened them, and star
ed at them. After about five minutes I picked up the stick that was inside the box, wrapped in a separate foil package. I opened it, and spent another couple of minutes staring at it. I tried not to cry. I took my pants off, sat on the toilet, and held the end of the stick under myself. It took several seconds to force myself to relax enough to pee, but finally did and felt the stream hitting the end of the test. When I was done I put a piece of toilet paper on the counter and set the stick face up on top. I wiped myself, pulled my shirt over my head and flushed the toilet. I climbed into the warm bath. A couple more minutes passed.
“Hey, kid,” Boggs said as he opened the door. “Can I come in?”
“Hey. I thought Em was coming back? And yes you can come in.”
“Gus and Emilie told me what’s going on. They both thought I should be the one who reads the pregnancy test with you. I’d like to be the one here with you, Zo, if that’s ok?”
I drew my knees to my chest and laid my head down on them.
“Of course it’s ok. I just don’t know what to do, Boggs.” I started crying again.
“Shhhh. Zoe. We’ll get thought this. Either way, we’ll get through this.”
I barely nodded my head.
Boggs sat on the floor next to the bathtub. He ran a hand over my head. “Whatever happens, Zoe, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Emilie said if there’s just one line it’s negative. Two it’s positive. You ready for me to look?”
“No.”
“Zoe, we have to.”
He reached over to grab the test lying on the counter and settled back in beside me with it in hand. He looked it over and studied it for several long moments.
I could sense him looking at me, but didn’t have the courage to look back. I heard him sigh. “Zoe.”
I ignored him.
“Zoe. At least look at me. Please.”
I slid down in the bath, letting my head slide beneath the water. I held my breath as long as I could. It was quiet, and peaceful. My lungs started to burn in need of air, so I sat back up and covered my eyes with my hands.
“Zo.” Boggs arms were around me, and I clung to him.
“I can’t, Boggs. I can’t do it. Not now, not in this horrible world.”
“Shhhh. It’s going to be ok. We’ll get through this, together.”
Boggs rocked me until my sobbing slowed. He helped me up and wrapped me in a towel. “Let’s get some sleep, Zo.”
He walked me across the hall to our room. I slipped under the covers, nude, and let him tuck me in.
“You’ll stay with me?” I sounded near panic.
“Absolutely.”
Boggs crawled in behind me, and wrapped a strong arm around me. He let his hand rest low on my abdomen like he might be able to somehow feel the baby that was growing within me.
“Will you tell them?” I asked him in a hushed whisper.
“I’m sure they’ll go in and look at the test, Zoe. Just sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day, and we’ll face it together.”
About the Author
M. Lauryl Lewis was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest. She lives in the Cascade
Foothills with her husband and their three sons. The family is completed by a pack of
dogs, a flock of chickens, and two cats. She is a labor & delivery nurse who loves
camping, reading, and writing!
M. Lauryl is a fan of horror, the paranormal, and sci-fi.
Zombies hold a special place in her heart.
Blog: www.mlauryllewis.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/MLaurylLewis
Twitter: @MLaurylLewis
#GraceLost
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A Preview of TAINTED GRACE, the sequel to GRACE LOST, due to be released Spring of 2013!
TAINTED GRACE
Copyright 2012 M. Lauryl Lewis
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