by Anna Bell
‘You married Justin!’ said Jess. She was suddenly glad they were in a busy dinner or else her outburst would have attracted frowns.
Maddie looked up from her colouring and looked at Jess carefully before going back to her book.
‘Um, yes, you were a bridesmaid at our wedding. Is everything ok? Not been snorting coke up your nose in your breaks at the conference? I hear banking conventions can be very rock and roll.’
‘No, I’m fine. I’ve just been... well, I’ve been forgetting things a bit lately. I’ve been under a lot of stress from work. I went to see a shrink and she said it can affect your memory.’
Jess felt herself panicking again. Katie had married Justin and had a kid with him. That wasn’t the Katie she knew. Her Katie had broken up with Justin soon after Jess and Benjy had moved to their apartment in the village. She’d come to stay with them one weekend, and they’d had a ball hanging out at the bars, eating breakfast in the little cafés in the village. Katie had gone home, broken up with Justin, and moved to Manhattan.
Jess couldn’t imagine that Katie could live anywhere else. She always thought Justin and Katie were quite wrong for each other, but maybe this was the proof that she’d been wrong.
‘Jeez, Jess, that sounds serious. You sure you’re ok?’
‘Yes, fine. Just a bit forgetful.’
‘Right, well, Maddie do not tip that out,’ said Katie.
Maddie had the salt shaker almost tipped vertical before Katie, with eyes in the side of her head, swooped in to rescue it.
Having caught up with Katie and discussed the ins and outs of her pregnancy, Jess launched in for a change of subject.
‘So, I was in touch with Benjy.’
‘Oh, Jess, not Benjy again. Every time I think you’ve got over him you bring him up again.’
Jess felt scared to even finish her sentence. She tried to imagine what it must have been like not to have married him after falling so head over heels in love with him. Clearly she hadn’t done a very good job of trying to get over him.
She couldn’t imagine a life where she hadn’t followed her heart to New York and married Benjy. And by the tone of Katie’s voice it was a decision Jess had questioned ever since.
‘Well, come on, what did you say? Did you speak to him?’
‘Yeah. I spoke to him.’
Katie tutted loudly. Jess suppressed a giggle at the disdain in Katie’s voice. Usually Katie and Benjy were as thick as thieves. Whatever had happened between Jess and Benjy when they’d broken up, it had obviously been bad.
‘He’s married and lives in D.C, works in insurance.’
‘Good, so that means it’s the end of the conversation. He is married and off the table. Finally, we can put that topic to bed,’ said Katie as she whipped a way a crayon out of Maddie’s mouth and replacing it with a carrot stick.
‘Well, he did say that he comes over to London; that we could hook up and his wife would never have to find out.’
‘Do not tell me you are considering taking him up on the offer?’
‘Of course not! I wouldn’t do that. I mean he’s properly married.’
‘Thank heavens for that. What a low-life piece of scum. See, good job you walked away from that one.’
Jess stifled a laugh at Katie’s clean-cut language. She usually had such a potty mouth, but Maddie had obviously influenced her vocabulary.
The waitress put down bowls of salads in front of them.
‘Right, now that you know he is scum, I’m going to tell you something. I didn’t tell you at the time as I didn’t want to jeopardise our friendship,’ said Katie.
Jess could feel her blood running colder. That didn’t sound like an introduction to good news.
‘What?’ said Jess. She was unsure that she wanted to hear what was coming.
‘After you’d gone back to the UK, and whilst I was doing my final year. One night, I ran into Benjy in a bar, and he tried to kiss me.’
‘And you didn’t tell me?’
Katie shook her head. ‘Benjy made me promise not to. He told me he only did it as speaking to me reminded him of you. I honestly didn’t think he had cheating in him, only after what you’ve just said, maybe he did. Or maybe he was telling the truth to me back then.’
Jess felt like she’d been punched in the chest. That nine months had been tough whilst Jess finished her final year at university in the UK. They’d seen each other every six to eight weeks, spoken on the phone every other day, and instant messaged whenever they saw each other online. She had missed him like crazy, but not once would she have considered cheating on him.
‘Hey, cheer up, you didn’t marry him. You should be grateful!’
Jess had lost her appetite. She wanted to tell Katie that she had married him.
‘Mommy, I need a pee.’
‘Do you actually?’
Maddie nodded her head.
‘Be back in a minute,’ said Katie.
Jess watched Katie walk out dragging her daughter behind her.
She couldn’t believe Benjy had started his cheating ways before they had got married. And with Katie, of all people. Jess tried not to cry; she knew there was no point in getting upset. Here she was in a life not married to Benjy so why did it even matter?
She dabbed her eyes with the napkin before Katie and Maddie returned to the table.
‘You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,’ said Katie.
‘I’m fine. It’s just nice to catch up.’
‘Yeah, it’s just like old times talking about Benjy. But enough about him, tell me about this hottie from work.’
Jess filled in Katie the best she could about Jake. She left out the fact that he was teaching her how to do her job and was trying to get her over her almost nervous breakdown.
‘Well, it certainly sounds promising. Shame you’re only in town until Saturday. I can’t believe you couldn’t stay longer. We’ve finally got round to doing up the guest room properly. And the yard is so pretty. Justin’s landscaped it really well.’
Jess tried to picture Katie with a house with a yard and a guest room. It was a far cry from the small apartment she shared with a roommate.
‘Next time,’ said Jess.
‘How’s London, and your parents?’
‘Same as always,’ said Jess, assuming that was the truth.
‘Well, maybe after this new one pops out, we’ll all take a flight over to stay. Would you like that, Maddie, to go to England?’
Maddie shrugged and carried on colouring.
‘That would be great,’ said Jess.
‘You still living in your flat? Guess we might have to stay in a hotel.’
‘Yeah,’ said Jess realising that she had no idea where she lived. It hadn’t really occurred to her that her permanent residence was not The Grover. Come Sunday she’d be arriving back in London and having to find her flat. She desperately hoped she had something with her that had her address on it. She couldn’t imagine having to phone her parents and ask them where she lived.
‘Well, you’d better be getting back to your conference,’ said Katie looking at her watch. Before Jess could tell her that she wasn’t in the mood to go back, Katie had summoned the waitress over for the bill.
‘Zoo, zoo,’ said Maddie, chanting and banging her fists on the table.
‘That’s right, honey,’ said Katie, rolling her eyes. ‘I bribed her to be quiet whilst we had lunch with a trip to the Central Park Zoo. Gotta keep my end of the bargain.’
They started walking back towards the Waldorf. Katie once again hugged Jess as best she could with the little baby bump.
‘Next time we see you there will be another member of the family.’
‘Wow. So there will.’
‘I miss you, Jess, it was lovely to catch up. Far too short. Promise me you’ll take some of your leave and come visit?’
‘I promise.’
‘Maddie, say goodbye to Jess.’
Jess waved at Maddie, who was tug
ging at her mum’s hand, obviously wanting to get to the zoo as quickly as possible.
Jess watched them walk up Park Avenue. Katie with kids; Katie married to Justin. It was too much to take in.
Not to mention the idea that Benjy had hit on her best friend. Maybe there had been signs of his cheating ways back then. She wondered if Katie had told her then what he’d done, whether she’d have still moved out to be with him. She shook her thoughts out of her head. What did it matter now? Benjy was married to someone else.
She looked up at the outside of the Waldorf and shuddered. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for another full on afternoon. She hated this new life. All of it sucked. Her best friend lived in New Jersey and she lived in a flat in England. She had the most boring job in the world and she was single. How had she messed up her life like this?
Maybe the shrink had been right. She was so stressed out that her life was crappy she’d invented a new one. Only at the moment she had no option but to carry on, back through the revolving door and into the world she didn’t understand.
Chapter 21 – Jessica Anderson
‘That was brilliant. I really hope that they do change the law, it will make it so much easier,’ said Jessica.
She’d thoroughly enjoyed her afternoon listening to the rest of the speakers. She’d forgotten about her supposed husband, about the awkwardness with Jake, and lost herself in what she knew.
‘I know, it would change things dramatically,’ said Jake, nodding. They were walking away from the Waldorf without paying attention to where they were going. Stopping at traffic lights on autopilot and crossing the roads when everyone else did. They were too busy sharing thoughts on the speakers.
Jessica’s phoned beeped in her bag, distracting them from their conversation. She pulled it out and saw it was a text message from Benjy.
Benjy
Sorry Babe, working late tonight, be home around ten. Will make it up to you, B x x
Jessica felt guilty that she felt relieved that he wouldn’t be at home. It was crazy: she had spent the last seven years wishing she could see him again. She used to fantasise about bumping into him in London whilst he was over on a business trip. She’d also thought about tracking him down on so many occasions. She’d even found him on Facebook, then deliberately blocked him as she couldn’t bear the temptation to contact him. And yet here she was married to him, sharing the same bed as him at night and she wanted to spend as little time as possible with him.
In the three days that she had been in this new life, she’d only spent one evening with him, and her going to that band practice hadn’t been pre-planned. She wondered if the shrink was right about the marriage. Maybe it wasn’t as happy as it seemed. Maybe she didn’t really see him very often at all. Or was she just trying to tell herself that to justify why it was ok to be enjoying another man’s company like she was?
She could always text Katie. After all she lived in the city. But Jessica didn’t feel up for a big night, which is what she thought she’d be in for if she went out with Katie, if the previous night’s 11pm text was anything to go by. Katie had messaged Jessica when she was en route to Brooklyn and asking if she wanted to go with her. This new childless Katie was so different from the Katie she knew, who would be tucked up with a blanket on the sofa pretending not to be falling asleep at 11pm.
‘Bad news?’ asked Jake, interrupting her thoughts.
Jessica looked up at him in confusion. Jake pointed at the phone.
‘Oh no, it was just Benjy. He’s working late. Looks like I’m on my own again this evening.’
Jessica cringed inside. She felt like a teenager throwing herself at Jake.
‘Well, I’m going to give the conference drinks a miss tonight, saving myself for the big ball tomorrow.’
Jessica nodded her head. She felt a bit pathetic that Jake had had to make out like he was having a night in to avoid spending time with her.
‘I was thinking about going to Central Park, though if you fancied coming?’ He looked at her whilst he spoke, as if unsure what her reaction would be. ‘The New York Philharmonic Orchestra is playing. My friends are probably going too, taking a picnic.’
Jessica smiled. He was off in ramble mode again. He seemed to get that way when he was talking about things he was passionate about.
‘Sounds great,’ she said, interrupting him. It would sure beat spending a night at home in the apartment by herself.
‘So, do we need to get tickets before we go?’
‘For tonight? No. It’s a free concert in the park. They do it every year and in all the boroughs. It is supposed to bring classical music to the masses.’
‘Wow, that sounds pretty good.’
‘Yeah, it is amazing. They have fireworks to top it all off when it gets dark. We go every year.’
‘You and your friends?’
‘Er, yes.’
Jessica couldn’t help wonder if the we had been more significant then the group of friends as a blush had crept across his cheeks. She realised she knew nothing about his personal life, and whether he had a partner or not. She had guessed he didn’t, as he’d not mentioned one. But the little slip of the we made her think that there might have been a significant other until fairly recently.
‘So, what time does it start?’ asked Jessica.
‘Eight. We should probably get there around half six or seven to get a spot.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘It’s five thirty now, it probably isn’t worth going home again before. Do you want to go grab a drink? Or we could head over to the Met? It’s not a million miles away from where we’re going in the park. We can then grab some picnic food after?’ The babbling was back.
‘Sounds perfect. I’ve never been to the Met.’
‘Never? Oh, you’re in for a treat.’
Jake hailed one of the passing cabs, and they climbed in to the back.
‘I can’t believe you live in Manhattan and you’ve never been to the Met,’ said Jake shaking his head.
Jessica didn’t want to correct him that she didn’t live in Manhattan. But she was sure plenty of people didn’t visit museums and art galleries on their own doorstop. She’d only been to the British Museum when she was five on a school trip, and she’d never been to the Tate. The only time she’d visited the Tate Modern was when they had giant slides in the Turbine Hall. She meant to be more cultural; she just never seemed to have the time.
‘Well, I’m sure you can’t have been to all the attractions New York has to offer,’ said Jessica. She was trying to make herself feel less culturally ignorant.
‘True, but the Met is like, an institution. I was always fascinated with it as kid. I always wanted to go hunting for secret Egyptian tombs, finding mummies and discovering lost treasures, you know, become an archaeologist and be all Indiana Jones. My parents even bought me a hat like him and I used to borrow my sister’s skipping rope, pretending it was a whip.’
Jessica snorted with laughter. She hadn’t seen this side of Jake before; the rest of the week he’d been so serious. His whole face lit up and creases appeared in his cheeks.
‘And then you grew up and became a banker?’
‘Yeah, around the time I learnt how much you got paid to be an archaeologist I realised I had more interest in money than digging in the ground. Decided I didn’t want to get my hands dirty. What about you, Jessica, what did you want to be when you were a kid?’
‘I wanted to be lots of things at first. An actress, an astronaut: the usual. But then for years I got set on being a journalist. I used to go and interview my neighbours and printed a cul-de-sac newsletter.
‘I had to stop when I printed a quote from Mrs Tobin saying that Mr Reynolds' tree was an eyesore and that she was sick of clearing up his bloody leaves off her grass. She hadn’t realised I was serious when I asked her for a quote, she thought I was joking. They didn’t speak to each other for months after and it ruined our street party we had every summer. After that my mum banned me from investiga
ting.’
‘That’s funny. So do you still write?’
Jessica shook her head. ‘I don’t get time. I wrote for a while on the University newspaper, but nothing since then.’
‘Here we are.’
Jessica hadn’t been paying attention to where the cab was going. They’d slipped into easy conversation and the time had passed so quickly, she’d almost forgotten where they were, until the cab pulled up to the grand steps of the Met.
They got out of the taxi and climbed up the big stone steps into the doorway only to be greeted by the security guard.
‘I’m sorry, we’re closed,’ he said ushering them out of the front door.
‘Closed, aren’t you guys open 'til like nine?’ said Jake, in disbelief.
‘Only Fridays and Saturdays.’
‘Right. Thanks anyway, then.’ Jake and Jessica turned and walked back down the stairs. ‘I can’t believe they’re closed. Sorry about that. I guess I don’t usually get out of the office in time to go anywhere like this in the evening.’
‘Don’t worry. At least I can now say I stepped foot in the Met. That counts, right?’
‘I just got excited. You know there are some amazing things in there. Like the Chinese Sculpture garden and the Mummies.’
‘Why don’t you tell me about what I’m missing, then. You can give me a virtual tour.’
Jake launched in to telling Jessica all about the Met. From the feelings you got when you walked into the Egyptian hall and found yourself standing in front of the pillars of the temple, to the metallic chair he’d died of embarrassment from when his sister had got told off for stroking it.
Jessica had to keep telling herself that she wasn’t on a date. It was starting to feel like the best date she’d been on in years. She’d never been taken to a museum. Always to bars, or to see awful arty plays or foreign films. There was something so attractive about the way that Jake didn’t care that he was coming across like a big geeky kid.
By the time their half an hour was up, Jessica had learnt more than she ever thought she’d ever know about art without having seen it. She’d been surprised at how interesting it had actually been. She’d used her imagination more than she remembered doing in a long time. And more than that, she actually now wanted to come back and see the real objects.