by Anna Bell
Jess felt like she was being told off, like a naughty child.
‘Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘I guess I’m just under a lot of pressure at the moment. I’m going to the bathroom.’
He left Jess standing there wondering what was going on with him. Maybe he was seeing Dr Rosenthal. Maybe that was why he knew her so well. It would certainly explain why he was so understanding with her and her talk of waking up in an alternate reality.
She wondered if she could help him. She knew she didn’t know about the SinoDam deal like she was supposed to, but that didn’t mean to say she couldn’t get to the bottom of it. Perhaps some fresh eyes might help the situation.
Jess thought back to her time in China and she thought about what she’d read about SinoDam. She couldn’t remember the large dam on Poyang Lake where she had trekked. She wondered if they’d built it since. She felt the same uneasiness spread over her as she had when she’d spoken to the guy from Clarity. She was cross at herself for not remembering if there was a dam there. She pulled up her maps on her Blackberry and switched to satellite over the lake, but no matter how much she scrolled round it she couldn’t see anything dam-like.
She had to be missing something. She tried to make herself think harder, until she realised who would know if the dams existed. She started to scroll through her contacts in her phone, looking for Eric. But then she remembered that having not been married to Benjy, she wouldn’t have taken her jaunt to China. Eric had originally been Benjy’s friend, and she doubted if, in this version of reality, he’d ever have been her friend, too. She scrolled through her Facebook contacts in the hope she saw him, but again he wasn’t there.
She tried to remember which university he was now working for; maybe she could still contact him? Would he think it was crazy to be contacted by an apparent stranger to ask about the existence of a dam?
It wasn’t like she had many other choices, short of attempting to call his aunt and uncle, who still probably lived in the province, with their pigeon English. She Googled: Eric Wen, university, department of economics. Sure enough a result popped up, University of Wisconsin, that had been it. Jess had received a Christmas card last year that talked of his move.
She hit the contact us button and took a deep breath. It took her a couple of minutes to try and work out how to contact a guy who she thought of as a fairly close friend but who would think of her as a passing acquaintance.
Dear Eric,
I’m not sure if you remember, but we met when I was over in New York at college and was a close friend of Benjy Burns. I do hope that all is well with you and your family.
Jess hesitated and deleted the word family, she didn’t want him to think that she knew any details or was some crazy stalker. In her version of events they’d spent time with his wife Julie and their kids Annie and Joe, but he wouldn’t know of any of that; that was literally another life.
I am now working for LMG Global and have been looking into a company called SinoDam who claim to have dams in six locations in China. I’ve been looking at one of the dams that they list and looked for them on the map on Google and I can’t find it.
I recognised it, as I thought that your family lived there, Jiangxi province. I just wondered if you could confirm for me that there is a dam on the Poyang lake?
I’m sorry for such an out of the blue email, but I couldn’t think, short of travelling to Jiangxi province, who I could ask to get an honest answer.
Best wishes,
Jess Burns Anderson
Jess managed on the final read through to amend her surname to Anderson, and then she hit ‘send’.
She closed her eyes and sent a mental wish that Eric would be the answer to her prayers.
Jake walked back from the bathroom looking worse than he had when he went in. His face was pale and his eyes suddenly looked tired.
‘It will be fine, Jake, don’t worry,’ said Jess, trying to be up beat. Her smile found Jake’s and his frown lifted a bit.
‘Ready for the rest of the afternoon?’ he asked.
‘You know me, learning about Chinese investments is my passion in life.’
Jake even cracked a smile at that. Jess followed him into the room and prayed silently that Eric would come through.
Chapter 27 – Jessica Anderson
Jessica opened the door and Katie breezed in. Today she was dressed in short hot pants and a baggy t-shirt that hung off one shoulder. Again, Jessica wondered what she did, but still couldn’t bring herself to ask.
‘Hey, Jess.’ She hugged Jessica and waltzed through into the apartment. ‘You ready to go?’
‘Yeah, let me grab my handbag.’
‘There’s something weird about you, you’ve gone all British again. You been speaking to your mum again?’
Jessica reappeared from the bedroom with her handbag. ‘I tried to call her and she thought I was drunk and she hung up.’
‘Figures. I thought we’d go to 4th Street?’
‘Great.’ Jessica didn’t know whether 4th Street was the restaurant or the street it was on.
Jessica didn’t have to worry about making conversation as Katie talked at her for the ten minutes it took to get to 4th Street; a café which, confusingly, was nowhere near 4th street. She learnt all about Katie’s new clients. From what Jessica could gather, Katie worked in fashion PR.
They settled at a table and Jessica started looking over the menu.
‘What you been up to? I feel like I haven’t seen you properly for weeks. And it wasn’t like Sunday was a good time to catch up,’ said Katie.
Jessica put the menu down. She wanted to ask her what the hell had happened to her on Sunday. That was when her life had literally got turned upside down.
‘Is it Benjy, are you guys not talking yet?’ asked Katie, before Jessica could answer her.
Jessica wondered why she and Benjy shouldn’t be talking.
‘I mean, I’ve never seen you row like that in public. You looked like you had steam coming out of your ears. Is he still going?’
Jessica didn’t know. She hadn’t realised Benjy was going anywhere.
‘Where’s he going?’
‘The tour, with the band? Jeez, Jess what is with you? So did you talk about it?’
Jessica shook her head. She definitely hadn’t spoken to Benjy about a tour.
‘But we’re talking. I mean things are fine, except I haven’t really seen him.’
‘Do you think he’s waiting for the dust to settle a bit?’
‘Maybe he is.’ Jessica wondered if that was why Benjy had been avoiding her. Had they fallen out on Sunday, was that why he was so surprised at her romantic gestures on Monday night?
‘You see Benjy and me together a lot, do you think we look happy?’
Jessica saw Katie look down quickly at the menu. The waitress approached before Katie could answer, and Jessica saw the look of relief in Katie’s eyes that they’d been interrupted.
Katie ordered a Caesar salad, and Jessica ordered the same. They handed their menus back to the waitress and Jessica stared at Katie, waiting for her answer.
Katie exhaled loudly.
‘Well, you don’t look as happy as you used to. But you know, it’s been a rough couple of years, I think people understand. After the whole Rachel incident, I mean, I don’t know whether I’d have forgiven him as easily. But we know what I think on that.’
Jessica didn’t need Katie to explain the Rachel incident, it was clear that Benjy had had an affair. The groupie had more or less spelled that out at the band practice on Monday. She couldn’t believe it. The Benjy that she’d known had always doted on her, to the extent he’d been in danger of smothering her. Jessica wondered what had happened for him to look elsewhere?
‘Hey, don’t look like that. You know Benjy is crazy about you. I mean you’re his rock. And you used to be so great together. You knew it was going to take time to get back to how it was.’
; Jessica still couldn’t reply to Katie.
‘Jess, I wouldn’t have said anything if I knew you were going to pull the stony silence on me.’
‘Sorry, it’s just... Well, I’m not feeling myself at the moment. Not to mention, I’ve barely seen Benjy this week, he’s been out for birthdays, for soccer and working late.’
‘Laying low, that sounds like Benjy. He’s just probably pissed that you’ve put your foot down over the tour. I mean, we’re almost thirty, you’re right he’s going to have to grow up one day. Maybe you just need some more time together.’
‘Maybe,’ said Jessica. Her head was spinning. She couldn’t quite believe Benjy had been planning to go on tour and she was pretty certain that he’d had an affair with Rachel.
‘Yes, spending time together: that is exactly what you need to do. Anyway, why haven’t you been calling me if you’re all alone? We could have caught a movie or seen a band.’
‘I met someone.’
‘Met someone who?’ said Katie, taking her coke from the waitress. ‘Like another friend?’
‘Sort of.’ Jessica started playing with her drink her straw, stirring her drink.
‘Like a guy?’ asked Katie. She practically spat out the coke she was drinking.
‘Yeah, he’s a guy.’ Jessica self-consciously tucked her short hair behind her ears and looked sheepishly at Katie’s facial reaction.
‘Did you sleep with him?’
‘Katie!’ said Jessica in a disapproving tone. ‘No, I haven’t.’
‘Haven’t? That sounds a bit like haven’t yet.’
Jessica kept quiet.
‘So, are you going to tell me anything or am I going to have to poke you with my fork until you start to spill?’
‘I met him at work. Not my work, his work. I was looking into jobs in finance. Long story,’ said Jessica. She was watching Katie’s eyes widen at all this new information. ‘Anyway, we went for drinks, and then last night we went to the New York Philharmonic Orchestra in the Park.’
‘Ha, the one you always tried to get us to go to?’
‘I did? Well, yes, in the park. And it was magical. Then we sort of had a carriage ride after, around Central Park?’
‘Were you stoned?’
‘No, we’d just had some wine. And we kissed.’
‘With tongues.’
‘Yes, with tongues.’
‘Wow. If you’d told me Benjy had been seeing someone else I probably wouldn’t have blinked an eyelid, but you? Jess, I never had you down as a cheater.’
‘I’m not a cheater.’ She wasn’t; how could you be a cheater when she didn’t know how she’d ended up married to her ex-boyfriend?
‘Honey, you kissed another man. That’s cheating in most people’s books. Even if Benjy has a low opinion on what constitutes cheating, I’m sure he wouldn’t be too impressed.’
Jessica didn’t think she liked hearing about Benjy and his attitudes to being unfaithful.
‘Do you think I should tell him?’
‘That depends. Thank you,’ said Katie, looking up at the waitress as she placed down their salads. ‘Are you going to see the other guy again?’
Jessica didn’t want to tell her that she was going to a ball with him tonight. She couldn’t imagine not seeing him again. She’d had the best date of her life last night. She couldn’t bear to think that she’d never see Jake again.
‘Yes, I’ll be seeing him again.’
‘Then you’ve got to work out what’s going on with you and Benjy. You know I hated Benjy for treating you like crap when he was on tour, but he’s still my friend, too. And I think you’ve got to be honest with him. If you’re unhappy with him, tell him. Don’t make it about this other guy. Either you’re with Benjy or you’re not. And if you decide to be with Benjy then you can’t see this other guy.’
For the first time she saw the Katie she knew sat opposite her. Katie was always the one who was sensible and grounded, and she could always be counted on to read any situation. Jessica turned to her on Skype after good dates, after bad dates, and Katie always dished out just the right advice.
Jessica didn’t want Katie to be right about this one. She wanted to see Jake again. Maybe she could just tell Benjy the truth about her not remembering anything, and maybe he’d understand how she didn’t have feelings for him anymore. She wondered if he’d have her committed to a mental institution. If he’d have shown up on her doorstep last week claiming he was married to her then she’d have doubted his sanity.
‘How do I know what I should do?’ asked Jessica, feebly.
‘I don’t know, sweetie. I mean my love life is no shining example, is it?’
Jessica wanted to scream and tell her that it was. Whenever she was feeling down about her love life back home Jessica would Skype Katie and see her perfect family: her and Justin totally in love.
‘Why don’t you try and see Benjy more? See if you can rekindle the old magic. Why don’t you go away? You’ve got some time before school starts. You’ve always had a blast travelling together. Now that he hasn’t got the tour to look forward to, he probably needs cheering up a bit.’
Jessica wondered if that was all it came down to. If they’d had a big argument, like Katie had said they had, that could explain the lack of closeness between them. It could have caused Benjy to act differently around her. Katie’s point about a holiday could be what she needed to show her what she had with Benjy, and it could make her see that she was happy in her marriage.
‘Does the other guy know you’re married?’
‘It’s complicated,’ said Jessica. She was pushing her salad around the plate, eating the odd leaf, but she’d lost her appetite.
‘Is he married, too?’
‘No, not complicated in that way.’
‘Jess, you’re being really weird. However complicated it is now, it’s only going to get worse if you don’t stop things before they really start.’
‘I know you’re right.’
‘Of course I’m right. I’m always right. Come on, Jess, you know that. Look, just make Benjy sit down with you tonight and have a proper chat.’
Jessica nodded. Well, it wouldn’t matter if she had the chat today or tomorrow, would it? She’d just go to the ball with Jake tonight and she’d tell him that things couldn’t happen yet. She’d tell him she needed to sort out things with Benjy. She knew she couldn’t stay with Benjy. Whatever she’d had in the past with him should have stayed in the past. She was almost laughing at herself that for years she’d pined after him, and now she could see just what would have happened if they’d stayed together.
Jake would understand that she’d need some time, as she knew Jake felt something for her. She’d felt it in his kiss and seen in his eyes that he felt the same way.
‘Look, you know, whatever happens with Benjy, I’ll help you through.’
‘Thanks, Katie.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Katie finished off her salad and glanced at her watch. ‘I’m gonna have to shoot. You ok to wait for the check?’
‘Of course.’
Katie passed Jessica some money from her purse and kissed her on the cheek.
‘Just call me, day or night, if you need me, sweetie.’
‘Thanks, Katie.’
Jessica watched her friend go out of the café and she waved at her again as she passed her on the outside of the glass. Jessica wondered if Katie was happy in this version of her life, without Justin and her family. Not that she would know any different. She seemed successful in her career and she seemed to have a constant social life, but was she happy?
Jessica handed the waitress the money to cover the bill and slowly stood up. She’d lost her enthusiasm to sort out the SinoDam situation. Maybe she should listen to Katie and concentrate on her life now. LMG was her old life and perhaps she should stop trying to live that life and try and fix the one she had now.
Chapter 28 – Jess Burns
Jess shut the door to her hotel room and leant ag
ainst it for a moment. She was trying to take in the events of the last twenty-four hours.
She’d never thought that she would ever look at another man romantically again. She had, after all, vowed to spend the rest of her life with Benjy. Yet here she was in a world where she was no longer married to him, and she had met the most amazing man.
She went over to the wardrobe and unzipped the bag. She marvelled again at the beautiful evening dress before her, and she couldn’t believe that in the next two hours she’d be wearing it at an actual ball. She hung it on the outside of the wardrobe so that she could see it whilst she got ready.
She wondered how an earth she was going to get ready in two hours. Her longer hair would be an advantage though, as she was hoping it was going to make it easier to scoop it up into an up do.
Jess couldn’t remember being this excited about getting ready since her wedding day. And even that had had tinges of sadness. Not only were her parents not happy for her, but hardly any of her close friends had been able to make it out to the US at such short notice.
Casting thoughts of her marriage to Benjy from her mind, she was about to take advantage of the mini bar again when there was a knock at the door.
‘Room service,’ came the call from outside the room.
Jess hesitated for a moment as she hadn’t ordered room service, and in Hollywood films that would be the ruse to get the lone female to answer the door before she was raped or murdered. Jess decided to have a tentative look through the peep hole and she spotted a champagne bottle on the room service trolley.
Jess opened the door. ‘I didn’t order any room service.’
‘They were sent with Mr Harrington’s compliments.’
Jess watched the waiter deposit the champagne and glass on the side table. He then handed her a small box with a red bow tied neatly around it. Jess thanked the waiter and hurriedly found a couple of dollar bills for a tip and he let himself out.