by A. E. Radley
Caroline didn’t like cheaters, but she realised she was completely happy to play chess with Serena, despite the younger woman’s clear attempts to divert her attention. Serena wasn’t a bad player; she knew the rules and had a very vague understanding of some strategy, but it was very clear that she couldn’t think more than one move ahead. She played rashly, not thinking of the consequences of her actions until it was far too late.
“Can I win?” Serena asked with a frown, examining the board.
“No,” Caroline said. “Not with those pieces.”
Serena groaned. “I lost again?”
“You did.”
“Four games in a row, how embarrassing,” Serena said. “Sorry, I’m sure I’m not very interesting to play with.”
“On the contrary, you’re very interesting to play with. I’ve learnt a lot about you,” Caroline confessed.
“That I call the knight a horsey?” Serena asked.
“That was one of the highlights.” Caroline grinned. “You’re tenacious, not very strategic, but a fast learner. I think if we played more, you’d eventually become a very formidable opponent.”
“I enjoyed playing,” Serena said. “I don’t mind losing; my skills lie elsewhere.”
The look she gave Caroline was pure filth, and Caroline nearly choked on her drink in response. She tried to think of a witty, flirty reply, but while she was considering the matter—her phone rang.
“Saved by the bell,” Serena noted.
Caroline looked at the display. “It’s the ship. I have—”
“To take it, I know,” Serena plucked a piece of lettuce from the salad and ate it. “I’ll be here with the food, so, you know, hurry back if you want any.”
Caroline laughed. She stood up and took a few steps away from the table. She knew that no one wanted to sit and listen to their lunch companion discuss work. Although, come to think of it, Serena never seemed to react when Caroline was called away for work.
She took the call, noting that Hazel had rushed out of the restaurant the very moment Caroline stepped away, no doubt about to grill Serena for information.
Caroline rarely brought anyone to her little sanctuary, so Hazel would know that Serena’s presence was meaningful. She listened to the details of the call and provided her response, all while watching the interaction between Hazel and Serena.
Curiosity tore at her. She wanted to know if Hazel was trying to determine if Serena was good enough for Caroline, or to convince Serena that Caroline was good enough for her. Hazel was like a protective older sister at the best of times, but even Hazel would surely recognise that Serena was way out of Caroline’s league.
She wondered, not for the first time, why she had brought Serena into her little private world. Serena had said she had feelings for her, but what did that actually mean? Was there a future for them or was Caroline being foolish?
“Caroline? You there?” Thomas asked.
“Sorry, the connection dropped, what did you say?” Caroline lied.
Whether they had a future or not, Caroline just wanted to know. She was struggling to function with the unclear landscape she was currently walking on. On the other hand, she preferred to live in ignorance for a few more hours rather than be presented with the certainty that nothing would come of it.
Delaying the inevitable wasn’t her style, but she couldn’t stand the idea of letting go of her worry-free time with Serena.
She turned away, knowing the call would take a while and realising that giving it her full attention would draw it to a conclusion all the sooner.
Home
Annie liked Hazel. A lot.
Hazel clearly adored Caroline and was now doing her absolute best to convince Annie that Caroline was a catch, something that she absolutely didn’t need to do. Annie was already very much aware of the fact that anyone would be lucky to be with Caroline.
Hazel probably thought she was being subtle, but she wasn’t even close to it.
“She’d make someone a lovely girlfriend, if you ladies still use that title?” Hazel asked. “I mean, I know you’re not girls. But woman-friend sounds weird, and lady-friend sounds, well, less said the better about that.”
Annie sipped at her drink. She wasn’t going to throw Hazel a life preserver out of this conversation. It was more enjoyable to watch her flounder.
“Very kind, funny when she wants to be,” Hazel said, as if she had been asked to list Caroline’s best qualities. “She can be strict, but she has to be. Part of the job. Did you know she was in the Navy?”
Annie nodded.
“They treated her horribly, and that ex of hers.” Hazel made a face like she had a mouth full of lemon sours. “Awful.”
Annie couldn’t disagree.
“You seem like a nice girl… woman,” Hazel corrected.
Annie looked over to Caroline, still on the phone over the other side of the courtyard.
“I’m not good enough for her,” she confessed. “I’d love to be, but I’m not.”
Hazel shook her head. “Nonsense. Caroline’s a good judge of character.”
“Not this time,” Annie disagreed.
Hazel tilted her head and regarded Annie for a few seconds. Annie honestly believed that her secret would fall out of her lips under the intense scrutiny.
“Caroline sees something in you, maybe you don’t see it in yourself,” Hazel reasoned. “Give yourself a chance.”
“Hazel, are you telling all my secrets?” Caroline asked, practically sprinting back to the table.
“She’s telling me the cheese comes from a local farmer,” Annie replied, this time willing to help Hazel out.
Hazel nodded. “Yes, that.”
Caroline looked between them. “Why don’t I believe that?”
“Just because you don’t share our cheese fascination, don’t knock it,” Annie said.
Hazel gave her a dazzling grin before pointing back to the restaurant. “I have work to get to. If I don’t see you before you go, it was lovely meeting you, Serena.”
“You, too,” Annie replied.
“I’m sorry,” Caroline apologised as she put the phone back in her pocket.
“As I keep telling you, it’s fine. I know I’m sharing you with a lot of other people.”
“I wish that wasn’t the case,” Caroline said.
“Me too, but it is what it is. I’d rather have a part of you than none of you.”
“I’d… like to show you something, if that’s okay?” Caroline looked nervous.
“Sure.” Annie shrugged. She trusted Caroline despite the obvious nerves on display.
There had been something in the air between them since they arrived at the peninsula, as if there was something Caroline wanted to say but hadn’t quite built up to yet. Annie knew the feeling well.
She wondered if she was about to be led upstairs to see Caroline’s apartment. And if when she was there, she’d be presented with something unexpected, like a collection of Dolly Parton memorabilia.
Caroline stood up, and Annie did so, too. “You probably won’t be interested, but it’s a big part of my life.”
“Now I’m intrigued,” Annie reassured her.
Caroline led Annie around the restaurant to the sea wall. She jumped up on the wall and then down onto the rickety wooden pier below.
“Oh.” Annie turned and looked behind her. “I thought we were going to your apartment?”
“I don’t really spend much time there,” Caroline confessed. She held a hand out and helped Annie to climb over the wall as well. Annie looked around the floating pontoons of the marina.
“It’s a boat, isn’t it?” Annie guessed.
Caroline nodded. She led Annie along a walkway, passing countless boats of various shapes and sizes. Some were clearly fishing boats, and some hadn’t been used in some time. Annie was so busy staring at the fish being unloaded from one of the boats that she collided with Caroline when she stopped walking.
“Sorry.”
Caroline put her hands out to balance her.
Annie turned and looked at the boat they were standing in front of. Her jaw dropped open.
“That’s… a yacht,” she said. “I think. I know nothing about boats. But that looks… wow.”
The sleek white boat bobbed away on the water. Annie just stared at it. There was a flat platform at the rear to step onto the boat. On either side there was a short flight of three steps leading to another floor, which seemed to have an outside seating area.
From her vantage point, she couldn’t see much of it, but she could easily tell that it was a beautiful and impressive vessel.
“Come aboard,” Caroline suggested. She stepped onto the back of the boat and held out a hand to help Annie.
“Is this yours?”
“Yes. I told you that my father died while in the service? Well, he had a substantial life insurance policy, and I don’t have any siblings. I bought a house in London, invested wisely. Between that and my own… compensation when I was asked to leave the service, I had a nice little sum. So, I bought Serenity.”
“It’s beautiful…” Annie let out a breath as she stared in awe.
She’d been on yachts before, Diego and his associates had several, but none of them were as classy as Serenity. Diego had been interested in boats that would tear up the ocean and potentially capsize and kill them all.
Serenity was different. It was sophisticated and stylish.
Caroline walked up the short flight of stairs, and Annie followed her. They came to a deck with a built-in outdoor table and leather seats. Two more flights of stairs led up to the upper deck, which Annie assumed housed more seating and probably a place to enjoy the sun.
Caroline opened a set of glass double doors and gestured for Annie to step inside.
In the living area, Annie marvelled at the furnishings. There was a seating area with more built-in sofas, then a dining area and a kitchen. At the front sat two large black leather seats in front of a complicated-looking control panel.
Caroline closed the double doors behind them. She looked nervous, her eyes darting about and a soft sheen of sweat on her upper lip.
Annie couldn’t figure out what Caroline was concerned about. She assumed there was more to discover. Maybe the Dolly Parton collection was downstairs.
“She really is my pride and joy. Some people have children, this is mine,” Caroline said.
Annie strolled around the interior, taking in the personal touches of framed photographs, a small collection of CDs, and a much larger collection of books. She approached the cockpit and noticed a stairwell heading downstairs.
“Two bedrooms,” Caroline explained. “And two bathrooms. And an office.”
“May I have a look around?” Annie asked.
“Of course, I’ll see what I have in the kitchen.”
Annie walked down the stairs, admiring the plush cream carpeting beneath her feet. Everything was furnished in creams and whites, accented with light wood. She couldn’t believe how much space was aboard. She poked her head into the office, which was full of charts, paperwork, and more books. All neatly filed.
She found one of the bedrooms, which looked like a guest room. It was more spacious than her cabin aboard Fortuna, which made her chuckle. She entered the master bedroom, and a small gasp escaped her.
It was exquisite, so homely and still so elegant. More personal touches were scattered around the room—photos, artwork, and a bathrobe hung on the back of the door. She noticed some clothes folded and placed on the top of the chest of drawers and frowned. She opened a drawer; it was filled with clothes. She looked in the wardrobe and saw that was also filled with clothes.
She opened the bathroom and confirmed her suspicions when she saw it was filled with toiletries.
Caroline entered the master bedroom. She wrung her hands and looked around. “I can make some tea, if you’d like?”
“Caroline, do you live here?” Annie asked, finally understanding the sense of hesitation emanating from the usually confident woman.
“Well, no… I mean, sometimes.” Caroline looked around, anywhere but making eye contact with Annie.
“That’s why you wanted to bring me here, isn’t it? To show me your life? Hazel, the restaurant, and here, your home?” Annie guessed.
“Yes. I know it may appear quite odd, but I feel more at home here than anywhere else in the world,” Caroline confessed. “I know some people find that strange. They need to be somewhere solid, have an address, a solid location, in a particular country.”
Caroline sat on the edge of the bed. “I like being at sea. I like to feel the waves as I go to sleep. When I’m off Fortuna, I may spend a few days here and there in my apartment in Napoli, but to be honest I mainly use the apartment for storage. For the most part, I’m here. It may look luxurious at first glance but living here for any long period of time is… different to most living arrangements.”
“You can’t pop to the shop for milk,” Annie said.
Caroline laughed. “No. That one is tough.”
“Do you travel to other ports, or do you just go out in the ocean and park up?”
Caroline smiled, probably at Annie’s lack of understanding of seafaring lingo.
“Both,” she replied. “It depends on the weather and the time of year. Tides dictate where you can go. It’s not a conventional lifestyle.”
And there it was. The source of Caroline’s nerves. She was opening up to Annie and trying to explain what a relationship with her might look like, like a single mother admitting they had a child or a carer admitting they had a sick sibling to look after. Caroline’s need for the sea was a factor in any relationship she might have.
The yacht was undeniably luxurious, but anyone wanting to be with Caroline would have to live on it for long periods of time. And then be alone without Caroline for long periods of time while she captained Fortuna.
Annie felt sorry for Caroline; dating must have been impossible for her. Her years of solitude now made a lot more sense.
As did Caroline’s anxious disposition. She was explaining her lifestyle to Annie, expecting this to be the end of everything, knowing that very few people would be able to live that way. Annie suspected this was a conversation that Caroline had endured before.
She stood in front of Caroline and held out her hands. Caroline placed her hands in Annie’s, looking up at her curiously.
“Thank you for showing me Serenity. She’s a beautiful ship.”
Caroline chuckled bitterly. “But?”
“Why do you think there’s a but?”
“Because there always is. Whenever I’ve explained to any potential partner what my lifestyle looks like, they can’t picture themselves as a part of it.” Caroline’s cheeks flashed red, and she pulled her hands away. “Not that I’m suggesting anything permanent, I’m not racing ahead. I just wanted to show you… me.”
“Anyone would be lucky to be with you, to have the opportunity to share this life with you,” Annie said.
“I know that you don’t like the water. Many people don’t, but being on the sea is such an important part of my life.”
“It’s not that I don’t like the water,” Annie explained. “It’s, well, it’s complicated.”
Caroline looked away, staring at the floor between her feet.
“I don’t have all the answers,” Annie continued. “I don’t know how it would work, but that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t.”
Caroline’s eyes met hers again, and an unsure smile graced her face. Annie realised that her hypothetical statement attempting to tell Caroline that she could have a relationship with someone had been understood as something quite different. A real statement that they could figure things out.
Which Annie would love to say, but knew she couldn’t without saying something else first.
“Caroline, I don’t know what this thing is between us. I know it’s there; I can’t deny it. I’ve felt an attraction to you from the
moment I saw you. And I’ll admit, I didn’t want to at first. I pulled away. But the more we bumped into each other, the more I got to know you, the more I… fell for you.”
Annie blew out a nervous breath. This was it. She was going to tell her. She had to.
“And I get that you have a very unique job and lifestyle, but that honestly doesn’t bother me. I’ve never lived a very conventional life, I’m not… grounded by family or home,” she explained. “In fact, I’m not—”
“But your work,” Caroline said. “The chances of your tours lining up with my schedule—”
“Caroline, there’s something I have to tell you.” She grabbed Caroline’s hands again, wanting to show the strength of her feeling through the grip.
Caroline’s phone rang. Both women winced. Annie let go of Caroline’s hands and turned around.
“I’ll give you some privacy, I’ll be upstairs,” Annie said.
“I’m sorry,” Caroline called after her before answering the call.
Annie rushed up the stairs to the main living area. She couldn’t believe things had escalated so far. She was meant to stay in her cabin, not speak to anyone, and plan her escape.
Somehow, she’d thrown those simple instructions out of the window. Instead she had fallen in love with someone, and it seemed that person had fallen for her, too.
“No, not for you,” she muttered to herself. “For Serena.”
She paced the living area. There was no easy way out of the scenario. It wasn’t like she could tell Caroline and they’d laugh it off. Caroline would be devastated, especially now that she was admitting that she had feelings.
Once she found out that Annie was, well, Annie, she’d no doubt be furious. She’d feel conned.
“I’m sorry.”
Annie turned around; Caroline had silently walked up the stairs.
“Caroline, I have to talk to you,” Annie blurted out.
“I have to get back to the ship. There’s been a mistake with some of the customs forms, and a rebooting of one of the ship’s systems. I need to leave, right now. I am so sorry.”