by Caroline Lee
Nate’s mouth was full when he spoke up. “No one would’ve hired you, and no one would lease you a store, either.”
Molly couldn’t help looking hurt. “Because I’m a woman? I’m perfectly capable, I—”
Ash interrupted in that slow drawl of his, “We know that, Molly. But out here, a woman alone is… well, there’s something wrong there. You know how few marriageable women there are out here?”
“You’re saying I need a husband to find work? To open my own bakery?”
“No.” Ash didn’t look away, and she was disconcerted by the intensity of his gaze. “I’m saying that you need a husband to take care of you, to keep you warm at night, to rely on you to cook and clean and tend house, and to raise his children.” Oh my. His words invoked images of her keeping his house and raising his children and… kissing him. She was almost sure that hadn’t been what he meant, but a girl could dream, couldn’t she? And that’s just what it would be, a dream, but Molly couldn’t stop herself from imagining how it would feel to be held by someone so big and strong and… She sighed.
“…at least, that’s what all those people you asked for jobs were thinking.” He took a big gulp of coffee, but she wondered if she had imagined the twinkling in his eye. After he swallowed, he shrugged nonchalantly. “People in Cheyenne are traditional. They see a young, unmarried woman looking for work, and figure she’s good for marriage or whoring. If you were married, they’d probably happily welcome you as a baker, or whatever. But they’re suspicious of things they’re not used to, and figure you need a husband.”
Molly pursed her lips, trying to think of a way to respond, when Nate distracted her. “So why don’t you? Get a husband, I mean.”
Her jaw dropped at the boy’s forwardness. “I hardly think—”
“Hey, now!” He held up his fork as if to ward her off. “Don’t get upset, I’m just asking.” He shrugged. “I mean, Ash’s right, there’s not a lot of marriageable women out here, and you’d have your pick of men. Especially since you can cook like this.” He smiled and took another bite, and despite her discomfort with the topic, she couldn’t stay angry at the scamp. Around the food in his mouth, Nate mumbled, “So why don’t you just get married, open your bakery?”
She blushed, and looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. She wasn’t sure how to explain a debate she’d had with herself, many times. She took a deep breath and started hesitantly. “My stepfather was a good man, and I grew to love him. He was the one who told me I should have my own bakery, and I guess that’s why I’ve worked so hard for it. My mother probably came to love him, I think, but not as much as my real father. She told me once that he’d died before they had a chance to be married, but I’d always wondered…” She sneaked a peek at Ash impassively sipping coffee, and saw that he didn’t look scandalized to find that she’d been born out of wedlock. “She raised me by herself, but grew tired of the whispers, and so she married my stepfather to give me a name, and gain respectability. And it worked, but she was never…” Molly sighed, remembering. “She never seemed truly happy. Like she’d settled, just so she could be respectable.”
Not able to look at Ash, she responded to Nate, since the boy had been the one to ask in the first place. “I saw them together, and even though Papa was happy, I’d always told myself that I wouldn’t settle, wouldn’t give up my dream, just because society told me that’s what women my age should do.” She shrugged and looked down at her hands again. In a smaller voice, she confessed, “It hasn’t been too much of a struggle, truthfully. I haven’t had much experience with courting.”
Nate swallowed audibly, and was very obviously not looking at her when he said, “I dunno. At least you were respectable. You and your sisters had a roof over your heads, and a nice life.” His voice was too nonchalant, and Molly remembered too late that he’d been born in a similar circumstance, and his mother hadn’t had the chance to marry. He must have been thinking about his young life, so full of prejudice and want, when he shrugged. “Seems to me that her ‘settling’ for your stepfather worked out okay. For you, at least.”
He was right, but then, so was she. “I’m grateful she made the choice she did, but I’m hopeful that I won’t ever be put in a situation where settling is the best option.”
“What do you mean by ‘settling’?” Ash’s voice was as soft as his eyes, and she couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He was as still as always; it wasn’t the tautness of an animal before a strike, but a relaxed waiting on her answer, as if it was important enough to warrant his full attention.
She felt a little breathless when she replied. “Marrying a man I don’t love, who doesn’t love me, just because it’s proper.”
He didn’t say anything, but his gaze was warm. Hot, even; she felt like there were little sparks igniting between them, but she couldn’t look away. He made her feel safe, and comfortable, and he was sitting across the table just looking at her, for goodness’ sakes!
Flustered, she broke eye contact and stood up, piling her utensils on her plate and grabbing the biscuit pan. She hurried them over to the sink, trying not to think about how handsome he was, sitting there with the top few buttons of his shirt undone.
But when she came back to the table to take his plate—still not looking at him—his hand on hers stopped her. Startled, she glanced at him, and was again arrested by the spark in those ash-gray eyes. Slowly, without dropping her hand, Ash stood up.
Molly was forced to back up, but her bottom hit the table, and he stepped closer. With nowhere to go, she held her breath, and forced her chin up, not daring to let him see how rattled his close masculinity made her. His thick, dark beard covered the lower half of his face, and made him seem stoic, but she could tell he was smirking under all that hair.
Now that he had her trapped, he slowly lifted his right hand, still holding hers, and brushed it against his lips. Her eyes grew wide and her heart pounded. Was that…? Was that a kiss? Did he just kiss her fingers?
His voice was low, and they were standing so close she could feel the rumble in his chest. “And if you did fall in love, dear Miss Murray?”
And her jaw dropped. Literally dropped, mouth agape. He was flirting with her, she was sure of it! Was this what courting was about? Being so breathless at the nearness of a man that she couldn’t answer him? Could barely gain enough control to pinch her lips together, so she wasn’t standing there like a fish? Wanting nothing more than to push herself closer, to see if he felt as strong as he looked?
She saw the white of his teeth when he smiled. “Because if you do fall in love, that wouldn’t be settling, and then you could marry. And follow whatever dream your heart desires.”
Oh my. Molly was beginning to question her dream of opening a bakery, anyhow. It had really been Papa’s dream, but she’d been working towards it for so long, it was second-nature to her. But keeping house for Ash and Nate reminded her of her childhood dreams of marriage and a family, and having him this close to her, his voice causing butterflies to dance around her stomach, was dangerous. She was beginning to wonder if it would be settling, to marry a man and keep his house and raise his children.
This man?
She closed her eyes to his gaze, and her lips on a groan. She was not falling in love with her employer. She flat-out refused. She was going to survive the winter with her sisters, have a magical Christmas, dammit, and then go to Salt Lake City where she would start a bakery all on her own and be happy. And that was final.
Her decision made, she had no idea how to extricate herself from his stimulating nearness. Luckily, Nate came to her rescue.
When she’d been cornered by his brother, she didn’t pay attention to the young man, but he’d apparently finished clearing the table. Now he stood at the counter, loudly clearing his throat and holding a basket she’d placed there the evening before.
“What are you doing with all these cranberries, Molly?”
Closing her eyes briefly in prayerful thanks, she hoped
her cheeks weren’t too red when she slipped away from Ash and hurried to the sink to start washing up. She rolled up the sleeves of her dressing gown, and pulled the apron back over her head. “I’ve been stringing them together, to make garlands.”
“Yeah.” She watched from the corner of her eye while he pulled a string of the berries out of the basket, and ran them across his palms. She could feel Ash moving around the table behind her, but refused to turn around. “But why?”
“Why? For Christmas, of course.”
“What are they for?”
She hadn’t been thinking about the conversation, but his confusion penetrated her thoughts. He didn’t know what garlands were for? Slowly, she turned to him, wiping her hands on her apron. “To decorate?” When he showed no signs of understanding, she despaired. What kind of childhood had he had, that he didn’t know anything about decorating for Christmastime?
From behind her, Ash’s low rumble caused her breath to hitch again. “You know, Nate. Like how Bullard always fancies up his store.”
Comprehension dawned on the boy’s face. “Oh, with those ribbons!” He held the garland up critically. “These aren’t as pretty as his ribbons, but they smell nicer.”
Molly was glad now that she’d bought those two rolls of ribbon, and the other gaieties. With her sisters arriving in a few days, and with Nate having no experience with the season, she was determined to make this Christmas memorable.
Suddenly excited, she turned to find Ash standing entirely too close, again. Flustered, but anxious to make her request, she didn’t side-step him. “Do you think you’ll have some time today to collect pine boughs?”
She could see from his expression that he didn’t understand. “I mean, is there any pine growing nearby? In the city sellers brought it in and we bought it from them, but I’m assuming that there is pine growing someplace—”
She could see his small smile when he interrupted her. “You mean, like for a Christmas tree?”
She nodded, excitedly. “Oh yes, a whole tree would be wonderful! And some pine bough for decorating! If you’re able to get enough, I could make garlands!”
“How much is ‘enough’?”
Pleased that he was considering it, she pursed her lips in thought. “Perhaps another small tree’s worth? So, two trees?”
Nate’s eagerness made him sound like a little boy. “You mean it, Ash? We’re going to have a real Christmas tree?”
Ash flicked his gaze over to his brother, his grin rueful now. “I don’t see why not, if Miss Murray is willing to show us what to do with it, and if you’re able to do most of the cutting, with my bum arm.”
The boy’s happy yelp made her want to ‘yahoo’ as well, but she managed to restrain herself to a simple “Oh, wonderful!” She saw Nate run towards his room, and also wanted to jump with joy, thinking about sharing the holiday with them.
Unable to contain herself completely, she raised one hand and was almost as surprised as Ash when it landed on his chest. His hard, wide chest, which was as warm as she’d imagined it’d be. He was wearing an undershirt beneath the faded blue flannel, but both were unbuttoned low. She’d realized, over the last few days, that while he’d adapted well to using only one arm, there were some tasks—like buttoning the top buttons—that he just couldn’t do alone. Unthinking, she reached for those buttons, and started to fasten them. The backs of her fingers brushed against the thick mat of dark hair on his chest, and the tingling reminded her of the way his lips had felt when he’d kissed her hand.
It wasn’t until she reached the top button, and saw the pulse beating strongly in the hollow at the base of his neck, that she realized he was holding his breath. Mortified at her forwardness, she risked a peek at his face, and blushed to see his eyes closed. Thanking her lucky stars that he couldn’t see her embarrassment at such an intimate act, she quickly stepped away from him, and tried to focus on the dirty dishes.
It was a long moment before she heard him clear his throat, but his voice still sounded strained. Had she hurt him, somehow? Or was he equally embarrassed for her?
“Nate and I will see what we can do about getting you some trees today, Molly.” She knew she shouldn’t have given him permission to call her by her given name, but couldn’t help the frisson of pleasure that ran through her at the way it sounded on his lips. Get a hold of yourself, you ninny!
She thought she nodded, but couldn’t be sure. Then Nate was there, helping his older brother into the thick, sheepskin coat, and they were both pulling their hats down low over their ears. She half-turned to watch them leave the house, relieved and disappointed both that Ash hadn’t said anything further.
She cleaned up from breakfast, lost in her thoughts. She was still in a bit of a daze over what had passed between them, when she took off her apron and realized that she was still in her dressing gown over her nightgown, and her slippers! She felt her cheeks burn, realizing how close Ash had been standing to her, while she was only half-dressed. In a household where she had to wake up and immediately start breakfast, it made more sense to finish dressing afterwards, but still… She was his employee!
She hurried up to her loft to change for the day, and found herself taking special care of her choice of dresses. She chided herself on her silliness, but still took the time to make sure her hair was all crammed into the bun she preferred, and wondered what Ash thought of it.
The mostly complete little blue coat was laid out over the empty bedframe, and she decided to work on it today, after she got supper started. After learning that the men were bringing back trees, Molly knew she had to ready the house for decorating. Perhaps she could do it as early as tomorrow, if she could get the garland strung today. So she’d start a simple stew bubbling, and have time to devote to her sewing and other Christmas projects.
Full of vigor, now that she had a plan for the day, Molly readied the house for Christmas. And if she happened to catch herself staring into space, daydreaming once or twice, what of it? It was the season for dreaming, she was sure, and it probably had nothing to do with her handsome employer. Probably.
Chapter 7
Ash and Nate really didn’t have much to do with the horses, but it was always nice to just spend time with them. Usually in the winter, the two of them got along well enough; Nate’s gregariousness didn’t necessarily conflict with Ash’s preference for quiet. He could appreciate his kid brother’s jokes, and even tease back. But when things got cramped in the house, as they tended to do right before the spring thaw, one of them would go find something that needed fixing in the barn.
Today, though, they worked quietly together, each intent only on the horses and their exercise. Even in the worst of weather, the brothers managed to let the mustangs outdoors for a little each day. Today was overcast, but it still warm enough to almost be considered pleasant.
Ash’s arm might have hindered him from some activities, but he could still talk to the horses well enough. He’d always had an affinity for animals, and seemed to understand them. When he ran away from the orphanage, he actually spent some time working as a hand for a traveling circus; that’s where he learned respect for large animals. He’d learned even more when he’d quit and signed on to a cattle drive, as well as how to handle a rifle. By the time he was Nate’s age, he was putting those skills to good use, thinning out the great buffalo herds in the Dakota Territory. He’d sell the meat to the Army and the hides to a European exporter. He made enough money to buy some land in the new Wyoming Territory and build a small house. He’d started tracking and catching the wild mustangs from the nearby valley, mainly as something to do to keep up his skill with animals. When he’d discovered his talent for it he gave up hunting buffalo altogether, and made a name for himself as a provider of fine horseflesh. The years passed, Nate arrived, and they’d built the ranch up together.
And now, watching the kid talk to the horses as he settled them back in their stalls, he knew that he’d taught him well. Nate was good with the animals to
o, and had a better business sense than Ash did. If Nate thought it made sense to breed the animals that they had, maybe Ash should listen to him. It was disconcerting to think that he was wrong and the scrawny kid he’d saved so many years ago was actually right. Ash wasn’t quite ready to admit it, but it gave him plenty to think about. And Lord knew that he needed something to think about besides the delectable Molly Murray.
He wasn’t going to last, stuck here on the ranch with her for the whole winter. Something was going to give; either one of them would have to leave, or he was going to give into his instincts and make love to her. Just thinking about how she’d reacted to his nearness this morning made the crotch of his jeans tighten. He wanted to kiss her more than any woman he’d ever met, and he wasn’t going to deny himself too much longer.
Only problem was, Molly wasn’t the type of woman you just kissed and moved on. She was the type you kissed, and then savored, and made sweet, sweet love to… and then did it again the next day. She was a forever type of woman, and Ash was surprised to realize that he didn’t mind. He was a year shy of thirty, and past the age when most men found a wife to care for them. He’d honestly never considered it, figuring that things were going fine the way they were with the two of them on the ranch, and assuming that no woman would want to be stuck way out here.
But Molly Murray was making him rethink his assumptions. She didn’t seem to be pining for the city, and he was discovering that he’d like nothing more than to have her here with him. It’d be nice to have someone to grow old with, and Molly was just the kind of woman he’d never allowed himself to dream of.
Thinking about Nate moving on was uncomfortable, though. They had a good partnership, even though he was close to twice the kid’s age. They understood each other perfectly, often able to communicate without talking. Ash really did think of him as a younger brother, and needed his help on the ranch. Sure, that’d been especially important since he’d busted his arm, but Nate had been his partner for years, building the ranch into the success it was. More than that, Ash needed him around, to come up with hair-brained ideas that might just work, or to argue about the soundest way to provide for the ranch’s future, or to laugh with at the supper table.