by Caroline Lee
Annie, meanwhile, was floating around on top of a cloud, humming atonally to herself, thrilled beyond measure that Molly had given permission for the girl to do chores out in the barn. Her happiness made Molly feel guilty for considering denying the request, but she’d been concerned over the girl’s health. Still, it was hard to deny that Annie had a talent with the horses, and Ash could use more help.
Ash! Her husband was the real reason she was feeling so out-of-sorts. He’d been grumpy that morning, barely doing more than grunting at her over breakfast. No matter how she tried to engage him, he was drawing further away from her, and had been over the last few days. She was, frankly, devastated at the thought that her husband of a week could be bored with her already. Oh, he still made love to her at night, and there was nothing perfunctory about it. No, in fact, their love-making had taken on a desperate quality, as if he didn’t think he’d ever be satisfied. She sighed, a small smile of contentment on her lips. She didn’t think she’d be satisfied, didn’t think she’d ever get enough of his body, his touch.
Then she shook herself, frowning at her own daydreaming. He might touch her like a man in love with his wife, but his attitude in the daylight was very different. Why, he didn’t even kiss her this morning, and seemed distracted and tense. In fact, he seemed anxious to get out of the house. Away from her.
She stewed in her doubts all day, and by the evening meal she was just a bundle of nerves. Ironically, Ash seemed much improved. He was as charming as he’d been before they’d married, and seemed to search out reasons to touch her. His kisses left her flustered, confused, and utterly aroused. She’d spent the day in a huff, and suddenly the reason for it was missing, and she felt deflated and disoriented.
Ash and Nate kept the conversation lively, though, with Annie chipping in where she was able. They drew Wendy out of her sulk, and before the meal was over, the girl was laughing along with them.
After the kitchen was cleaned and the evening chores completed, Ash built up the fire in the hearth, and they settled down to admire the tree, the decorations, and the buttery pastries Molly had made for dessert. Annie was sitting on Ash’s lap, Nate was standing with one arm resting on the mantel, and Wendy sat in a kitchen chair that the boy had carried over for her. Molly noticed that her younger sister blushed whenever she looked at Nate, and hoped that the two of them could just sit down and talk about their feelings.
That’s when it hit her, and she had to close her eyes against the burst of dread. She and Ash were going to have to ‘just sit down and talk about their feelings’. She loved her husband, and he needed to know that. Plenty of women were in marriages where their husbands didn’t love them back, and she was lucky enough to have a man who treated her beautifully, in love or not. Once she told him how she felt, maybe he’d tell her what had caused his bad temper, his avoiding her, and his apparent turn-around.
“So, how did your family celebrate Christmas Eve?” Ash’s rich baritone pulled her from her thoughts, and she opened her eyes to him engaging Wendy in conversation. The middle sister unconsciously translated for Annie as she spoke.
“I can remember the delicious food, and then we’d stay up late waiting for St. Nicholas. At least, I would. I think Molly thought it was a little silly.” She gave her older sister a glance, and Molly stuck her tongue out, which caused a chuckle.
Wendy wasn’t entirely wrong; it wasn’t that Molly wouldn’t have loved to believe in a jolly old elf that traveled the world granting goodwill and presents, it was that she outgrew those sorts of things at a young age. She was eight years older than Wendy, after all, and her young years had been very different from her sisters’, having been raised alone by their mother.
“What would St. Nicholas do?” Nate’s question surprised them, and Wendy flushed and looked away, as if embarrassed that he wouldn’t know something that had been so integral to her childhood.
Molly made sure no trace of pity entered her voice when she told him, and signed for Annie, “St. Nick is the spirit of Christmas, symbolizing the goodwill and peace we’re all supposed to feel this time of year. According to legend, he travels around the world on a flying sleigh,” the young man chuckled, and she smiled, “Comes into houses through the chimney, and leaves presents for children.”
His smile was rueful, the little heart-breaking one that meant he was embarrassed at not knowing something. “I’ve heard of him in town, I just figured he was some kind of religious person.”
Ash spoke up, “He was, but now he’s for kids.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Nate, that I never shared this kind of stuff with you when you were younger.”
The younger man shrugged. “Nothing we can do about it now.”
“Yes there is!” Molly was firm. “We are having a real Christmas this year, and if that means a visit from St. Nicholas, then so be it! In fact, there’s a poem by that same name, and oh, I wish I had a copy of it. I don’t even remember who wrote it, but it’s such a wonderful introduction to the legend, and a lovely poem besides.”
Suddenly, Wendy jumped up. “I think I have it!” She hitched up her skirts and ran for the loft, back in less than a minute waving a book. “I bought this collection of American poets a year ago.” She sat back down, angled the book towards the fire, and started flipping through it, talking to herself. “Clement Moore wrote it, but he wasn’t proud of it, because it was a children’s poem. He published anonymously, but this collection included it with his work, because—ah! Here it is!”
She adjusted her glasses on her nose, and Annie slipped off Ash’s lap to stand over her shoulder, to read along. Molly smiled to see Ash settle back with his eyes closed, and Nate lean forward expectantly.
“’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…” Wendy’s clear voice captured the meter and rhyme of the poem, and they were all swept up in the quaint tale. When she was finished, she shut the book with the satisfied sigh she always let out after reading something she enjoyed.
The rest of them were quiet for a moment, until Nate cleared his throat. “I liked that. Thank you.”
She blushed, but looked him in the eyes. “I’m glad. It’s a nice story, and everyone should be able to enjoy Christmas.” He blushed too, and Molly shared a smile with Ash.
Suddenly, Annie made her attention-getting grunt, and pointed to her shoe, and the fireplace. They didn’t understand, until she signed “sock”, “mantel”, and spelled “gifts”. Wendy burst out into laughter. “Oh! ‘The stockings were hung by the chimney with care!’” She gave the little girl a quick hug. “Annie wants to hang up stockings, like we used to do, Molly. Oh, can we?”
“Yes, can we?” Nate’s eager young face was endearing, and of course Molly said yes. Annie raced upstairs to get socks for her and her sister, Nate took off one that he was wearing, amid jokes, and Molly ducked into Ash’s room to get one of his and one of hers. His sock had a darn in the heel where she’d fixed in a few weeks before, and as she felt it, she was struck by how much her life had changed in such a short amount of time. She was a wife, and about to embark on her first Christmas with her new family.
She was smiling when she returned to the main room, and with much laughter and teasing, they hung their socks from the mantel. They finished the evening by reading the Christmas story from the worn-out Bible Ash had carried with him from St. Louis all those years ago, and which was all the more precious for the tears and stains. And then, bidding each other good night, they retired to their respective rooms.
After she’d readied herself for bed, knowing that Ash was waiting for her, Molly made her excuses to slip back into the main room. She remembered how early Wendy used to wake up on Christmas morning, and assumed Annie—and maybe Nate—would be the same way. She removed their presents from the cabinet she’d hidden them in, made sure that their wrapping was intact, and arranged them just so around the tree. The smaller treats she was able to fit into the socks, and had to sti
fle a giggle while doing so. She never imagined that she’d be acting as St. Nicholas one day, and had to admit that it was just as exciting as opening presents on Christmas.
By the time she returned to Ash’s room, he was nearly asleep, but not so tired that he couldn’t take her in his arms and make beautiful love to her. He fell asleep soon after, and despite the turmoil of emotions roiling inside her—love, concern, excitement—exhaustion won out, and she fell asleep with her cheek pillowed on his warm shoulder.
Chapter 14
Ash opened his eyes much earlier than usual the next day, and a slow smile spread across his face at the realization of the date. It was Christmas! Lord, when was the last time he’d felt this excitement at Christmas time? Not since he was a kid, he knew, and a young one at that. And it was all thanks to the hard work of the woman beside him.
Knowing that today was the day that he would tell her, he rolled over and took her in his arms, nuzzling her neck. He made slow, sweet love to her, and she came fully awake in time to find fulfillment. He smiled against her skin, and looked forward to the day that Doc Sanderson would cut off this good-for-nothing cast, and he could support his own weight over her. He was going to love her like she’d never felt before.
“Mmmmmm.” Her stretch reminded him of a feral barn cat, satisfied and sensual. Her smile was sleepy, though, and he just had to kiss her nose. “Happy Christmas, husband.”
“Happy Christmas, wife.” Now was a perfect moment. “I want to tell you something.”
She smiled, pure and sweet, but put a finger to his lips. “And I want to talk to you, too. But I can hear the girls upstairs, and I shouldn’t have lingered in bed this long. Can we talk later?”
He shrugged, and laid back to watch her slip out of bed and perform her ablutions. He’d hung up a blanket in the far corner, and planned to build a screen this winter for privacy. He was a little amused the way she wouldn’t dress in front of him, although she had no qualms about undressing. She came back around the screen, braiding her hair, and he joined her in getting dressed.
They entered the main room just minutes ahead of the girls. A very excited Annie came flying down the loft stairs, and squealed when she saw the bulges in their stockings. Wendy laughed when she saw, and called out “I guess ‘St. Nicholas’ came after all! Merry Christmas!”
There was a lot of hugging and wishing of Happy Christmas, and Molly insisted they all sit down for breakfast before looking at their presents, which of course meant chores first. Poor Annie nearly burst from excitement, but the rest of them enjoyed the anticipation. Molly made cinnamon rolls again; she must have guessed how much he enjoyed them. The whole cabin was wreathed in delicious smells of pine, the coffee, the cinnamon and the flapjacks she whipped up.
After breakfast was cleared away, the morning chores done, and the horses checked on, Molly finally gave Annie the go-ahead to investigate her presents. The look of joy on her face when she went tearing over to the hearth made Ash laugh out loud, and Molly kissed him, spontaneously. Well, he wasn’t about to let her go until he showed her how to properly kiss him, and they were both lost in their own little world for a few minutes.
When he came up for air, he was aware of distant giggles and exclamations. The younger members of their family were busy removing stuff from their stockings, and Molly was distracted by their excitement. They crossed to the hearth, where Ash was surprised—and even delighted—to see that his stocking was bulging too. She’d stuffed it full of the same things in the kids’; peppermint candies, wrapped salted caramels, a package of delicate sugar cookies, a few drop-candies, and an apple in the toe.
He turned to her, pleased that she’d taken the time to make such treats, and she blushed. “When we were children, there was always an orange in the toe. But I didn’t see any at Bullards’.”
Nate spoke up, around a mouthful of caramel, “They were gone early in the season. He’ll get more, but they always get snatched up.” He swallowed. “These are great, Molly! Delicious!”
“Good.” Her smile was indulgent. While everyone was busy exclaiming over their goodies, she worked over a pot of boiling milk on the stove, and soon had a tray of mugs of steaming, decadent hot chocolate waiting for each of them. They lounged around the hearth, sipping and laughing, enjoying the morning.
Ash noticed Molly’s stocking was still full, so he took it down, and found the same treats that were in the rest of their socks. She not only took the time to make sure that they would all have something for Christmas morning, but stayed up late the night before to arrange everything, and put things in her own stocking, so little Annie wouldn’t know she’d been the one to do it.
“Ash and I have some things for you, too.” Ash loved her smile, the one that showed off her dimples. She crossed to the tree, and started pulling out twine-wrapped bundles from under the lowest branches. He joined in the exclamations of surprise.
She’d made mittens and hats for the girls; lovely, embroidered coverings made of the softest gray he’d seen, and very cozy. He was amazed to find something similar in a package she handed him; a thick scarf of the bright blue wool, with his name and whirls picked out in light gray along the seam. Nate had a matching one, and tried it on then and there. He gave Molly a hug that nearly lifted the woman off the ground, and she giggled like a little girl.
Each of the kids got a store-bought gift, too. There were two new books for Wendy that Molly had picked out and paid for without him knowing. Nate received a new knife-sharpening kit, and set of wooden puzzles someone more talented than Ash had carved. His younger brother was suitably impressed, and embarrassed Molly with his thanks.
Annie unwrapped her bundle, the beautiful doll Molly had picked out, and the little girl’s hands shook when she saw the concoction of pink lace. Very carefully, with a look of wonder that made Ash want to hug her, Annie lifted the doll out of the wrapping, and cradled it to her breast. She looked up at them, and no one needed to see her sign ‘thank you’; they saw the desperate love and awe in her gaze, and Ash vowed that this little girl, this precious, delicate little life, would always be happy here.
The gifts weren’t done, though. He ducked back into his room, and came out with a scroll, wrapped in a green ribbon, and handed it to Nate.
“What’s this?” The kid’s—no, the young man’s—gaze was inquisitive as he opened the paper. Then he just stood there, holding the deed to half the ranch, staring. After a long minute, hazel eyes turned up to meet gray, and Ash saw the longing, the confusion, and the hope in them. “I…” He tried again. “I didn’t think you were actually going to do it.”
Ash nodded, somberly. He wouldn’t have told Nate, if he wasn’t going to follow through. “Merry Christmas, little brother. Thanks for making this place a success.” The two brothers stepped towards one another at the same time. Ash couldn’t say who reached for the other first, but the embrace was warm, and solid. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you, big brother.”
They pulled apart enough for Ash to include the rest of his family in his gaze, but he kept his arm around Nate’s shoulder. “With you as a partner, Nate, and the rest of these hard workers, there’s no way this place won’t continue to be a success.” He captured Molly’s eyes, and saw something shining in that coffee-brown gaze he couldn’t identify. “I thought we were done for, when I busted this arm. But you saved us, Molly. You came into our lives, and brought these lovely girls,” He nodded towards Wendy, who blushed, “and saved the ranch. And for the first time, brought Christmas to this house.”
Molly smiled, blushing with—he hoped—pleasure. “Thank you, Molly.” The rest of them chimed in their thanks, and her blush deepened. But she didn’t fully understand how much she meant to him, not yet. There was one more thing he had to say to her, before Christmas could be complete.
He dropped his arm from Nate’s shoulders, gave him a good glare, and jerked his head towards the girls. The younger man didn’t quite understand, until Ash turned hi
s look on Wendy, who smiled, and pretended great interest in Annie’s new doll. Nate’s face suddenly lit up, and he smiled. “Say, uh, Wendy, how about teaching me how to sign ‘Happy Christmas’?” He quickly joined the girls on the other side of the room.
Ash took a deep breath and, turning to Molly, snagged her hand and pulled her towards their room. There wasn’t much privacy in the cabin, and Ash was beginning to regret it. He’d have to think about putting that extra room in sooner rather than later. He kicked the door closed behind them.
And then he was staring down into her eyes, full of confusion and happiness and that something else he’d noticed. He took another deep breath, suddenly at a loss, and nervous as a kid.
“Molly, I’ve got something to say to you.”
It seemed like an eternity, but he just couldn’t get the words out. She smiled, and he got side-tracked. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything special for Christmas.”
“Oh!” She held up her left hand. “You did! This ring was totally unexpected.” He smiled, pleased that she appreciated the surprise. It had been expensive, but worth it. She made him smile more than he’d ever smiled before, and he’d come to love that about her, too. Who would have thought that when he’d chased his kid brother into Cheyenne, he’d find a woman who could match him in every sense? A woman who was his equal. A woman he would come to love.
“Well, alright, we can call it an early Christmas present. I love my new scarf, by the way.”