by Caroline Lee
“Wendy?”
“What?” He smiled at the pique in her voice.
“Can’t you sleep?”
“I could if you’d stop talking to me.”
His grin got bigger. “Sorry.” She didn’t respond. “Goodnight, Wendy.”
After a long minute, long enough for him to realize that she wasn’t going to respond, he heard her sigh. “Goodnight, Nate.”
It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
Chapter 12
December 23, 1883
“Brix! I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“A pleasant surprise, I hope, Mister Nate.” The Selkirks’ elderly butler gave a little bow to her companion, before turned a deeper bow to her. “And Miss Wendy, may I be the first to welcome you home?”
Stiffly, Wendy nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered, not yet sure how she felt about being here.
Nate had bundled her off the train, and she’d waited in the warm station while he confirmed that her trunks had made it off as well. Standing there in that big room, she’d been overwhelmed with memories of another Christmas. She’d stood here, terrified and proud of her accomplishment of getting Annie and their things across the country at the tender age of thirteen. And while she’d been reunited with her sister—she hadn’t seen Molly in months—she couldn’t stop her eyes from straying to the mysterious young man standing by the main doors. He’d had long hair and dark skin and from the way he’d been trying to dig his shoulders into the wall behind him, he wasn’t comfortable being there. And then to discover that he was Ash’s brother—and hadn’t she made a fool of herself when Molly had told her that?—and she’d be living with him! Excitement and curiosity and a few other emotions she hadn’t been able to name then coursed through her.
And now she was back, just a few days before Christmas. She’d stood in that same place, and looked around at the same decorations hanging from the tall rafters, and wondered what had changed in the last eight years. She’d changed definitely, but here she was again, terrified… and somehow comforted by his presence. Despite her anger at him, and at being forced back here before she was ready, Wendy knew that all she’d had to do was call his name, and he’d come for her, to comfort and protect her. Her Hero.
She hadn’t called his name.
The ride to the Carderocks’ house was quiet—she still wasn’t speaking to him—and less comfortable than the Hansom cabs in St. Louis. Still, it had been nice to be off the train, and Wendy amused herself by seeing what had changed about Cheyenne. It had grown in the three years she’d been gone. It wouldn’t rival St. Louis, not yet, but it was getting there. There were Christmas trees and other decorations on nearly every street corner, and the snow had been carefully shoveled off of the streets and sidewalks—how long had Cheyenne had actual sidewalks? Millionaires’ Row was grander than she remembered, especially Serena’s new home. She knew that Sebastian had built it for his new wife, and it looked like something out of the Lafayette Square district where she’d walked daily with Jeremy.
Thinking of the boy—she hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye!—brought a spark of melancholy. He was the part of her life in St. Louis that she’d miss most of all. Jeremy and Shakespeare. She wouldn’t have anyone to confide in here in Cheyenne, no giant statues of long-dead authors to speak to. Here she only had her childhood friends, her loved ones, with whom she couldn’t share her secrets.
Brixley took their coats in the foyer while Nate made conversation.
“The Misses Selkirk are here, then?” Had he always sounded so refined? She’d been surprised, certainly, by how well he’d fit into the social mold of the big city. Had his business dealings and all of his reading made him into such a… gentleman? The Nate she’d known growing up, and the Nate she’d seen trying to kill Steven with his bare hands, was not a ‘gentleman’.
“They’ve been here since this morning, waiting to see Miss Wendy.”
They’d known she was coming? Of course they had. Nate had obviously telegraphed ahead to warn them. He probably hoped they’d offer them a place to stay for the evening, before they ventured out to the ranch. The thought of seeing her old home sent her stomach plummeting. Here in the city, surrounded by the trappings of civilization, she felt better armed to meet her family, to try to explain why she’d been so distant.
To lie.
After Brixley disappeared with their outer wear, Wendy took a deep breath, half-dreading what was to come. Oh God, why had she thought it would be a good idea to try to cut her old friends out of her life? They hadn’t known her secret, had no way of knowing her secret. She could have kept writing to Serena like nothing was wrong. But no, she’d tried to wall herself away, and had made sure that her letters to her best friend were cold and clinical and lacking any interest. And now she was going to pay for that.
She gave a startled little squeak when she felt Nate touch the back of her hand. She glanced in his direction, unable to help herself, and got lost in those green eyes. “Wendy?” His whisper couldn’t be heard over the ticking of the grand old clock that stood at the end of the hall, but she felt it. And she felt the way his fingers wrapped around hers, loaning her his strength and warmth. “Wendy, everything’s going to be alright.”
Damn him and his understanding tone of voice. She felt herself sag, and tears threatened. Will it? Can you promise me? she wanted to ask, but tightened her lips against the plaintive pleas. Instead she forced her chin up and pulled her hand from his.
He nodded once, resigned, and she felt a moment of shame at her treatment of him. But then he was knocking on the parlor door and pushing her inside.
She had just enough time to take a fortifying breath, and then:
“Wendy!”
Serena’s shriek was loud enough to wake the dead, and her friend tore across the room and threw herself into Wendy’s arms. And to Wendy’s surprise, she found herself hugging Serena tightly, so so pleased to see her again. Serena had always been Wendy’s partner in the world of fiction, willing to let herself spend whole sunny afternoons immersed in a glorious made-up world, whereas everyone else lived so realistically. Because of that bond, the two of them had been able to talk about anything and everything, and Wendy had heard all about Serena’s love life through her frequent letters. She’d been able to help her choose between Cam and Sebastian, when both had proposed, and often read about how wonderful married life was.
The smaller women pulled away first, and then reached up to cup Wendy’s cheeks. “Oh, Wendy! I’m so happy you’re here! It’s so good to have you back, to have you here.” She smiled, and Wendy saw that the three years hadn’t aged Serena a bit. She was still the single loveliest woman Wendy had ever seen. “Oh, we’re going to have such fun! And it’s Christmas time, which is just perfect!”
Wendy didn’t wait for her friend to catch her breath, but hugged her again, causing Serena’s hands to crush Wendy’s spectacles into her cheeks. They both laughed and pulled apart, smoothing skirts and readjusting sleeves.
Wendy said “I’m happy to be here,” and was surprised to realize that she meant it. All of her worries had been pushed aside when Nate sent her through that door—he was across the room now, chatting with Serena’s aunts like a perfect gentleman—and while she still had her doubts about the success of this visit, she was still pleased to be able to hug her old friend again. Letters just weren’t the same.
Then she looked over her friend’s shoulder, and her heart gave a little jump. There, standing perfectly still and looking like a beautiful, ideal little lady, stood Annie. Wendy stepped towards her, and her sister met her halfway with another desperate hug. They held each other for a long moment, and Wendy could feel the tears gathering again. She grabbed Annie’s hands, and stepped back, looking her baby sister up and down. She’d grown so much—although she still only reached Wendy’s chin—and so beautifully. She was… perfect.
Dropping Annie’s hands, Wendy unconsciously signed as she spoke. “You are beautiful,
Annie! Why didn’t anyone tell me what a lovely young woman you were growing into?” She gave her sister another quick hug. It felt so right, so wonderful, to be able to hug her again.
Pulling away, she mimicked Serena’s earlier pose, holding Annie’s cheeks, as if trying to memorize every aspect of her features. Tears blurred her vision. “Oh Annie,” she whispered, knowing the girl could read lips, “I’m so glad to see you.”
“Ahm happy…to see oo too.”
Wendy gasped, and the tears fell then. Her precious baby sister, her deaf sister, just spoke to her. She hadn’t heard Annie speak in ten years, and that she was speaking now, coherently, was a miracle. She hugged her sister yet again, vowing to do the same to Sebastian, for giving Annie this gift.
And then Serena was hugging them both, and they were all laughing and crying together. It was a long time before Wendy was able to pull herself together enough to see Serena’s aunts waiting patiently for their chance to embrace her, and she happily gave them the opportunity.
In the midst of the hub-bub of reuniting, Wendy caught Nate’s eye. He was lounging against the mantel, one booted foot crossed over the other, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He was watching the reunion with the strangest look on his face, as if his emotions were laid bare to her. It was almost a… longing look. In fact, he reminded her so much of that boy she’d met eight years ago in the Cheyenne train station that she wanted to go to him, to comfort him, to tell him that she was here now, to be his family. Which was silly, because she was still angry at him. But she had to admit that this reunion, here and now, was thanks to him. If his silly pride hadn’t caused her to lose her job, if he hadn’t pushed her to come home for a visit, she wouldn’t be here, holding her sister and her best friend, in time for Christmas.
Maybe her gaze had alerted him; whatever the reason, Nate suddenly pushed himself upright and crossed to the group of ladies now clustered around the sofa. “Well, ladies, I’ll let you to it.”
An inexplicable panic shot through her then. “What? You’re leaving me?” Damn. She had not meant to sound so… so weak and needy.
He gave her another strange look, of confusion and uncertainty. “Yeah. With your sister and your best friend.” His voice was prodding, like she needed reminding that she was fine here without him. And of course she knew that; she’d just been taken by surprise by his announcement. That was the only reason for her plaintive question. Yes, the only reason. It’s not like she needed him here with her.
So she nodded, firmly. “Where will you be?”
“I don’t know,” and now he looked awkward. She’d bet that he did know where he was going, and didn’t think she’d like it. Why wasn’t he admitting it? “Why?”
“I just wondered if you were going… home.”
“Not yet.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “Figured I’d stick around the city ‘til you knew what you wanted to do.”
Serena took pity on them both. “Then you’ll definitely join us for luncheon tomorrow, Nate? You’re welcome to stay here this evening, too, but if you have other plans…?”
He nodded gratefully to their hostess. “Thanks, Serena, but I think I’ll stay… uh, elsewhere.”
Serena smiled and nodded graciously, and walked Nate to the door, while Wendy’s eyes narrowed. Where was he going to stay? She’d never heard him speak of any other close friends who lived in the city. Why would he bother to stay in a boarding house or hotel when Serena or—
Wendy managed to hide her sudden realization. He was going to stay someplace unsavory, she knew it. Why else would he hide his intentions? But Serena had accepted his decision so easily, and wasn’t at all shocked by it. Surely she hadn’t misinterpreted his answer?
Vowing to confront her friend later, Wendy turned back to her sister’s questions about St. Louis, and tried to answer them as best she could, when it felt like her heart was walking out the door with Nate.
Later, after a lovely dinner, Aunt Agnes and Aunt Agatha took Brixley back to their own home down the street. Wendy had joined in teasing Agatha about her budding romance with Ian MacLeod, but the older woman had just smiled brightly, and teased right back. Sebastian was just as handsome as Serena had said in her letters, and just as gentlemanly. They all had a wonderful time reliving the “Wedding of the Decade”, as Agnes had put it, and Wendy enjoyed hearing all about it.
Despite having just met him, she’d hugged Sebastian fondly, thanking him for what he’d done for Annie. He’d been surprised at first, but then warmly responded, giving her most of the credit for her preparation of the girl. His words reminded Wendy that her other students had a good chance of success at an oralist school, thanks to her teaching, and that pleased her.
She’d known that Annie now lived with Serena for a good portion of the year, to be able to attend Sebastian’s school. It was so nice to catch up with her, and watch her speak, and thrill at the way she still used Wendy’s sign ‘language’ fluently. The three young women stayed in the parlor, laughing and catching up, long after Sebastian had kissed his wife good night, and, with a wink, told her to wake him up when she came to bed.
Wendy watched the way Serena sighed dreamily and followed her husband with her eyes as he sauntered out of the room, and realized something. The two of them were very, very much in love. There was something between them physically that Wendy had tried to capture in writing her stories, but having never experienced it, knew it sometimes fell flat. And after her experience with Steven, she’d stopped writing True Love into her story. She’d told Nate it was because such frivolity didn’t exist in the real world, but she was wrong. She had only to think of the fairytale love between Serena and Sebastian, or the more common, day-to-day love between her sister and Ash, to remember that Happily Ever Afters were possible.
She sighed herself, and grabbed Serena’s hand. “You still love him, don’t you?”
“More than I ever thought possible, even after reading all those wonderfully silly romance novels.” When Serena smiled, she became even lovelier, which should be impossible.
The two best friends walked Annie to her room, where she hugged Wendy again, and Wendy had to blink back tears yet again. Being here, being home, being accepted for who she was and loved unconditionally, made her understandably weepy. “Goodnight, Annie. I love you.”
“Ah love oo too.” Another smile, and the girl practically skipped into her room. The other two turned towards the guest room Serena had assigned Wendy. But to her surprise, Serena didn’t leave her at the door, but instead came in and sat on the bed. Wendy removed her spectacles with a sigh, placing them on a small table, and rubbed the bridge of her nose where they sat. Then she rifled through her valise, removing her personal items until she found her nightgown, and then ducked behind the screen to change.
With her head inside the gown, she heard Serena call “I love your hair.”
Wendy chuckled when she emerged. “Thank you. I cut it off because I was sick of dealing with it. It’s not quite the style in the city, but some women favor it.” She came back around the screen, and began to turn down the bed. Serena still didn’t move. Wendy sighed, and propped her hands on her hips. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Well, I don’t think you’re sitting there looking ready to burst because you want to tuck me in, so what are you waiting to say?”
Her friend bit her lip, and then seemed to make up her mind. “Well, I wasn’t sure if I should mention it…”
“But you’re going to mention it anyhow, aren’t you?”
“How’d it go with Nate?”
That was unexpected. “How’d what go with Nate?”
“With him coming to get you and all that. You’re here, so obviously it worked. But he’s not here, so maybe it didn’t. I’m dying to know how he got you to come home.”
Wendy plopped down on the bed too. This was beginning to remind her of one of their childhood afternoons, relaxing and discussing matters of great imagined import… excep
t this was real. “I’m just here for a visit, Serena.”
“Oh.” The answer momentarily distracted the petite woman, but then she smiled. “Well, that’s okay. We’re just thrilled you’re here. But still, did he come swooping in like a hero from those books he’s always lending me? Or was he more…” she lifted her brows comically, “subtle?”
“What?” Wendy couldn’t help the way her voice rose.
“Oh come on, everyone knows the man’s been in love with you for years, so—”
“What?” This time it was more of a shriek, and Serena paused.
“Really…? Really, Wendy? You couldn’t tell? It wasn’t obvious, when he traveled almost a thousand miles to find you and bring you home?”
Wendy stared at the headboard, not seeing the intricate designs picked out in the wood. He…loved her?
Well, of course he did. She’d seen the signs, but had refused to understand what that meant. They’d been such close friends for so long, and he obviously wanted her in his life, if his words in St. Louis had any truth. It was a little embarrassing that Serena had to be the one to point it out to her, though.
Switching her gaze to her hands, knotted together in her lap, Wendy whispered a confession. “He kissed me.”
The sound Serena made was somewhere between a huff and a laugh. “It’s about time! Did you like it?”
Wendy nodded. “I kissed him back.”
Her friend leaned across the bed and twined her fingers around Wendy’s, bending to look into her face. “Being loved by a good man is the best feeling in the world, Wendy.”
She had nothing to say to that. She had no experience being loved by a good man, only a bad one. The best man she knew had kissed her, but hadn’t told her his feelings.
Serena gave another squeeze, and then sat up. “So he kissed you, and convinced you to come home for a visit, but obviously you’re mad at him.”