by S. M. Soto
He pushes to his feet, and my stomach curls, still unsure of him. “This is all your fucking fault, you know. You fucked everything up. Why couldn’t you just stay far away?”
“I’m not the one who lied about finding my dead sister in the woods, you motherfucker.”
“It wasn’t my idea! How was I supposed to know they did that to her!”
My heart stops, and I take a step forward, feeling the floor shift beneath my feet. “What did you just say?”
“Don’t tell me you believe they actually stumbled across her body and that was it? Because of you and those two assholes, I’ve lost everything. Baz has pulled my shares. I have nothing without Kings.”
I roll my eyes. “Your family is rich, you fucking spoiled prick.”
“My family is bankrupt!” he roars, stumbling toward me. “Kings was all I had. The revenue we split from this was what I was living off. I have nothing without it.”
I swallow thickly at the rage brewing in his eyes. I continue stepping away from him as he advances on me.
“That’s not my fault. All I’ve ever wanted was the truth. I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“Yes, you did!” He jerks forward, his hand snagging on my clutch, as he tries to drag me toward him. I unhook it from my arm and drop it. Fear snakes its way down my spine, and my heart thunders in my chest. “That little piece you wrote has fucked all of us. You think anyone is going to want my name attached to anything after this? Any of our names? The only person who has made it out without a scratch is Baz, but I’m sure that’s the way you two planned it, didn’t you?” he seethes. My back collides with the wall, and I panic, realizing I have nowhere else to go. I underestimated him and his anger.
Trent corners me, pressing his body against mine, all six feet of him hovering over me. He stares down at me, rage and disgust in his eyes, but beneath that is something else, and as I stare up at him, my stomach churns as I realize what it is.
It’s desire, a burning desire that is incinerating my skin.
He leans down, getting into my face. I want to cower. Every single part of me wants to curl in on myself, but I remain strong, steeling my spine and glaring up at him.
“You think you’re so strong. So tough, don’t you? Think you survived death once and you got it all?” His breath reeks of alcohol. It blows across my face, churning my stomach. My face sours.
“I don’t think anything.”
“You think you’re so fucking smart, getting into Baz’s life and turning him against us. This is your fault. I have nothing because of you. We have nothing because of you.”
“You have nothing because you relied on another man to take care of you. You’re all grown men. Grow the fuck up. Don’t blame me for your mistakes.”
He slams his palm on the wall over my head, and I flinch. My heart jumps into my throat, and my pulse skyrockets. I hear the blood rushing through my veins. “It is your fault, you stupid bitch!” He seems to enjoy getting a reaction out of me, his eyes glinting. “Are you scared, Mackenzie?” he whispers, bending near my ear. I try to shove at his chest to get him to back up, but he’s like a brick wall. He doesn’t move.
“You don’t scare me, Trent. All you are is a broke, overprivileged asshole. You’re scum,” I seethe. His eyes flare, and his free hand grasps onto my hip in a painful grip.
“At one point, you wanted me. What happened, Mackenzie? You were always supposed to be mine, not his. Mine. I was going to fuck you that night. Did you know that? I could see it in your eyes just how bad you wanted me.” Trent bends, and even though I know it’s coming, I try to fight him. His lips land on my neck, and I gag. I beat at him, trying to get him off me. My hand sails across his face.
“I was never going to be yours, and I never will be yours.”
He reaches out, grasping my wrist and flinging me back, slamming me back up against the wall. My head bangs against the plaster, prompting pain to shoot through my skull, dazing me for a few seconds. It’s enough time that Trent is able to swoop down and steal a kiss. His mouth seals over mine, and he gropes me, hands squeezing and kneading at my flesh.
Swinging my fists out, I fight him off, biting on his lip until I draw blood. Trent lets out a howl of pain, but before I can dart away, his hand is in my hair as he yanks me to the floor. My shoulder slams against the marble, and pain shoots through my side as I try to scramble away on all fours, but he yanks me back by the ankle, flipping me onto my back. His body hovers over mine, his hard length prodding me in the center.
Fear claws at my chest, and I’m just about to scream for help when his hand slaps over my mouth, and he starts yanking my dress up my thighs. Tears roll down my cheeks. I slam my eyes shut, trying to dig deep and fight him off, before he can take this any further in his drunken stupor.
Why didn’t I listen?
There’s a sudden commotion behind us, and then suddenly, Trent is pulled off me. I inhale a lungful of air, choking on my own sobs. My vision clears as I blink past the tears, and my eyes widen when I see Baz yanking Trent away by the collar. His fist plows into Trent’s face, knocking him to the floor, dazing him. His murderous eyes swing to mine, and when he sees me on the floor, my dress up over my hips and the tears on my face, he lets out an animalistic growl. He barks out orders at Dan and the rest of his security, as they crowd into the small space.
“Get her out of here. Now!”
Dan and the other guards come to my aid, helping me slide my dress back down my legs, my body trembling violently. “Baz, wait—”
“For once, just fucking do as you’re told!” Baz roars, stunning me silent. I’m ushered out of the room, leaving him there with a semi-unconscious Trent, who is rolling on the floor in pain. Dan ushers me through the crowd. Camera flashes go off wildly around us, but I keep my head down, not giving them a chance to get a single shot. I breathe a sigh of relief as he helps me get into the car, and I’m all too thankful for the tinted windows because, as soon as the door slams shut and Dan stands just outside of it, waiting for Baz, I break down.
Madison is right. Doing this is going to get me killed. Hell, tonight it almost got me assaulted. I’m not invincible. It’s time to let this go. To move on. I need to trust that Baz will protect me. Because how else would he have known I was in trouble?
Would someone I couldn’t trust end his work plans and burst through a room to save me? No. They wouldn’t.
The door to the car is suddenly yanked open, and Baz slides in. His posture is stiff, and his face is shrouded in anger. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him display his emotions so openly. I want to reach out to him. I want him to take me into his arms and erase everything that just happened in there, but by the anger radiating off him, that isn’t an option right now. I glance down at his hand, and I gasp. His knuckles are bloodied and swollen.
My eyes widen, and my gaze shifts back up to his face. He must’ve heard my gasp because he shifts, glancing at me.
“What happened?”
He doesn’t respond. Instead, his gaze roams over me. He pauses on my shoulder, and when I look down, I realize it’s starting to bruise. I must’ve hit the marble floor a lot harder than I thought.
“Are you hurt?” he asks, his gaze still traveling over my skin, as if he’s looking for an open wound or something that shows that Trent hurt me. Other than the bruise on my arm, there’s nothing to the outside eye.
“No,” I whisper.
He finally meets my gaze, and I swallow thickly at the look there. It’s filled with anger, but there’s relief there, too. Relief that I’m not hurt and that he got there in time.
“Are you okay?” he asks after some time, the anger slowly ebbing away from his face.
I shake my head, not trusting myself to answer. Because yes, on the outside I’m okay, but on the inside? I’m anything but. I need him to wrap his arms around me and hold me, but that isn’t what he does and that hurts.
He nods, as if confirming something to himself, and then he bark
s at Dan who’s sitting mutely in the front seat to take us back to the penthouse. The drive is ridden in silence, with Baz staring out the window on his side, deep in thought, and me, staring at him, hoping he’ll look at me and not give me the cold shoulder. But, he doesn’t. And it’s like he knows that’s the punishment I need to put me in my place.
I purposely defied him today because I was angry. I was jealous of Mia, and I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to go out and defy him at every turn, and instead of doing that, I just hurt myself in the end.
I feel small and insignificant as we ride up the elevator together. I feel unwanted the longer he goes without touching me or speaking to me. My stomach churns when I realize he’s going to come home to an even bigger mess.
“Take a shower, Mackenzie,” he orders, as soon as we step over the threshold. I wring my hands together, toying with the chain of my clutch.
“Baz, I need to tell you somethi—”
He shoots me a glare that’s so scathing, I flinch. “Take a fucking shower.”
He stalks off into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. My eyes slam shut as I imagine him taking in the mess that is in his closet.
Christ.
I scrub at my body under the scalding spray, trying to get Trent’s touch and smell off me. Trying to forget that the events of tonight ever happened. I wish I could go back and listen to Madison when she warned me to stop. She warned me this would happen, and I didn’t listen.
My life is a mess of mistake after mistake.
Summoning all my strength, I get dressed and cautiously pad out of my room into the hall. I hear the clink of glass and ice coming from the living area. With unsure steps, I head in that direction, pausing when I spot Baz sitting on the chaise, still dressed in his clothes from earlier, only now he’s lost his suit jacket and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his forearms. His shirt buttons are undone, revealing his tan-toned chest. For all intents and purposes, he looks good. Too good right now. But his mood is what gives me pause.
He glances up from the paperwork laid out before him, noticing my hovering presence. He doesn’t say a thing, just stares at me. I feel the intensity of it sear through my flesh. It has me fidgeting, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.
“I can come back later if you’re busy.” I glance down at his work pointedly.
He jerks his chin at the open chaise next to his. “Sit down. We need to talk.”
A pit forms in my stomach, realizing this isn’t going to be a good conversation. Still, I take the seat next to him and keep my lips sealed, waiting for him to explain.
“Sign this.”
My brows draw together when I look from him to the paperwork and the pen he’s all but shoving in my face.
“What is it?”
“The publishing agreement. Sign it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I need to have Kat’s lawyer look it over—”
“Mackenzie, do you really think I would have you sign something that wasn’t beneficial to you? Just fucking sign it so we can get this over with.”
I swallow thickly at his tone, but nod, knowing he’s right. I’m sure he looked it over and had his own attorney look it over, too. Taking the pen from him, I sign my name, my heart skipping a beat at what I’ve just done, but right now, I have bigger things on my mind. Like apologizing for earlier. I’m still angry about Mia, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t wrong.
Before I’m able to say anything, he’s sliding something else over to me. My brows furrow when I realize what it is.
“A house deed? What is this for?”
“It’s for you.”
I snatch it from him, flipping through it, my eyes growing wide when I realize what this means.
“Wait, this is the house we looked at when I first got here. The one you said was beneficial for investment purposes. I don’t understand.”
“It was for you. The guys took a lot from you. I took a lot from you. This was my way of giving back. Giving you something to fall back on.”
“Baz…” I whisper, tears filling my eyes, emotion clogging my throat. “I can’t believe you did this.”
He shrugs, avoiding my gaze. “And this is yours. You don’t need my help anymore. You never did. But you and I already know that.”
My stomach drops when I see what he’s referring to. It’s my freedom on paper. It’s what I wanted this whole time, and he is right. I didn’t need it. I knew he would never do anything to hurt me, and even though the hounding from the press bothered me, I could’ve ignored it. I just used that as an excuse to be near him.
“But…the media. What if I still need your help?” I’m grasping at straws, doing anything I can to latch onto him, and by the look in his eyes, he can see that, but for whatever reason, he’s cutting me loose. Setting me up with everything I’ll ever need, so I won’t need to run back to him for anything. He’s cutting ties. Ending this.
Pain sears through my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“You won’t. The publishing agreement will help. You have Kat’s help. You can stay here at this house or sell it and go back to New York. Whatever you want to do with it because it’s yours, but if you do sell it, you can’t adopt Ava.”
My breath leaves me in a ragged gasp.
Ava? Adoption? How did he do all of this? How long has he been putting all of this together?
Why didn’t he tell me?
“Baz…I can’t believe you did this. Why didn’t you tell me?” I place a tentative hand on his forearm, and we both stare at the point of contact. His phone resting on the table starts ringing, and when I see Mia’s name, my anger seeps into the moment, stealing my joy. I glance up at him, and he’s watching me, dissecting my reaction. I press my lips together and grind my back teeth together. Slowly, I remove my hand and shift my body away from his.
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t.”
“She was here. In your space, picking up clothes she left here. Why?”
“Because while she worked here, she purposely forgot a bag of her stuff. She did it so she’d have a reason to come back and see me. That was why I had her get her shit while I was away.”
“You let her go into your room unsupervised.”
He glances up pointedly at the ceilings. “She wasn’t unsupervised. Dan was waiting at the elevators to escort her out of the building. If she so much as snooped through my stuff, she would’ve been gone. She wanted to get under your skin, and she did.”
“What else was I supposed to think? You didn’t call or text. You let me think the worst. You knew where my thoughts would head if I saw her in your space.”
“If you trusted me, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”
My brows shoot up. “Trust you? How can you expect me to do that after everything that has happened? All you do is keep secrets from me, Baz.”
“I didn’t keep secrets. I just chose not to share everything prematurely. I didn’t tell you because things weren’t concrete. I wasn’t sure how any of my plans would work out, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up by telling you. There are still a lot of hoops you’ll need to jump through regarding Ava, but if you really want it, it’s yours.”
“You really think I’d make a good mother? Look at everything I’ve done. I’m a mess.”
He rubs the back of his neck and nods. “You did all those things when you were a part of my life. When you were near me. If you do this, it’ll just be the two of you. This is your chance to give a little girl a brand-new life. Give yourself a new life.”
“So that’s what this is,” I whisper, growing angry. “You’re getting rid of me. Tossing me out like trash.”
His jaw stiffens. “I’m trying to give you happiness, Mackenzie, because you’ll never find it with me. I’ll help you in any way I can, but with the publishing agreement, the house, the money that’s been transferred to your bank account, you’re set for life. You can take care of Ava in peace, if that’s what you want.”
“They’re never going to let me keep her,” I urge, trying to do anything I can to change his mind. Trying to find any reason I can to stay. “I’ve been to a mental institution. I’m viewed as a liar. I’m not stable. I talk to my dead sister, for fuck’s sake.”
He sits back, watching me work through my emotions. “Then don’t do it. Sell the house. Move to New York, finish the publishing deal, and move on with your life.”
I process his suggestions, and even though that sounds great, the idea of willingly having the chance to change Ava’s life and not doing it because I’m afraid of rejection…I slam my eyes shut, knowing what I have to do. If it doesn’t work out, if they tell me no, I can sell the house and move on, just like he said, but it doesn’t hurt to try. So long as I leave all the pain in the past. All it’s ever brought my life is destruction.
Madison is right. It’s time to leave it in the past.
I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling defensive. “Why are you helping me? You should hate me. Especially after what happened tonight.”
Baz chuckles. The sound is dark and raspy, and it hits me in places it shouldn’t. “Oh, I do. But there’s some sick part of me that loves you more.”
My heart skids to an abrupt halt, and my stomach dips at his words. The foundation shifts, and I clutch onto the chaise for support. I open my mouth, wanting to apologize and throw myself into his arms, but I remember why we can’t. Why I can’t.
This doesn’t change anything. He still wants to cut me loose. And maybe he’s right. Maybe it is time to let go, even though the thought alone makes me sick to my stomach. I love him. I probably always will, but Baz and I are a beautiful disaster when we’re together.
“I…I don’t even know what to say,” I mumble, clearing the emotion out of my voice.
He pushes to his feet, rising to his formidable height. “Don’t say anything,” he replies coldly, leaving me. “I’ll take care of it, if that’s what you want.”
Just when he’s about to leave, I call out to him. He pauses but doesn’t turn to look back at me. And even though I know I shouldn’t, I say, “Thank you, Baz.”