Her expression was quizzical. “That’s nice, of you, I suppose. I never meant to worry anyone, much less you. I didn’t think you had even given me a moment’s thought, to be perfectly honest. So, thank you for acting on your concern. I suppose if something truly had befallen me, I would appreciate your pursuit of me. But you can see that I’m perfectly fine. And actually, since you’re here, and you have clearly spoken to my aunt, you could take the message to her that I am fine and am well ensconced here at Sherton House. This way she needn’t worry anymore, and I don’t have to go to the expense of posting a letter to her.”
He felt like a simpleton, but Brock could only blink at her. “You intend to remain here?”
“Well, of course, where else am I to go? You, yourself, heard Shepley say how very unwelcome I am at Ashburn.”
“Yes, of course, I forgot, in all the excitement of finding you, to tell you that your aunt has made arrangements. You are to have your Season. I think the earl, Lord Avery, is pursuing a courtship with her. You are to accompany her to visit his estate.”
He grew uncomfortable under her steady stare when she didn’t say anything. He could almost see the workings of her brain as she pondered his words. He hurried into more speech.
“I apologize, Lillian, you asked that we not stand here on the road talking, and yet that is what I have allowed to happen. Could I escort you back to the inn and we could have a small repast?”
She still didn’t say anything but nodded and fell into step beside him as they walked back toward the inn. Brock wasn’t sure which of the inns he should go to. The first one, whose owner already knew her as being from Ashburn, or the other one where the innkeeper knew her as a servant. Neither would be good for her reputation if she insisted upon remaining in Sherton.
“I didn’t realize my aunt would still expect me to remain with her.” She finally spoke. Her quiet tone caused him concern. She sounded deeply disappointed.
“Why does this make you sad? Aren’t you glad she still wants your company?”
“Lord Sedgwick, don’t you realize that I am solely responsible for myself? My parents were unable to leave me much in a material way. To be blunt, I am impoverished. Yes, my aunt is a viscountess, but her husband didn’t leave her truly well provided for. He had no intention of dying, of course, so I cannot be angry with him, but he must have known what a lout Lester is, so he shouldn’t have left his wife in a position of being dependent on that wastrel’s good will. She has a small stipend, of course, but it isn’t enough to set her up independently of Ashburn. And it certainly isn’t enough to provide for the two of us.”
“But there are other options for you now.”
“Like what? I don’t want her to remarry just to provide for me. I am perfectly capable of providing for myself. I have a position now. Yes, the pay is low, but I actually enjoy the work. I will be well placed and trained to run my bakery when I receive the bequest. I shall be just fine on my own. But if Violet needs me, then I will go to her. If she truly wants to go stay with Lord Avery. Not if she’s doing it in a misguided sense of providing for me.”
“I see,” Brock said, although he truly didn’t. He had never met a woman so determined to be independent. “Perhaps she just misses you.”
He regretted his words as soon as she turned tear-filled eyes toward him. “Well, I miss her, too, but being here pays me. Being with her, I work almost as hard but don’t get paid.” She held up her hand quickly. “Please don’t misunderstand, I love being with my aunt and truly loved running Ashburn Place. If I could be hired as a steward somewhere, I would leave here in a heartbeat. I would even give up my idea of a bakery, as running an estate is more fulfilling, I think, and more to my temperament.” She paused again, replacing her tear-filled eyes with a grin. “To be honest with you, I’m not completely certain how I’m going to handle customers.”
Brock returned her grin, but before he could respond she carried on. “But the fact remains that no one is going to hire a woman as their steward. And my background makes it so that it’s probably just as impossible to be hired as a housekeeper. The only reason I was hired at Sherton is because it was the cook doing the hiring, and he didn’t ask too many questions. At least not about my family. He just wanted to know if I knew my way around the kitchen.”
Finally, Brock was able to stem the flow of her words. “But there are other options. What about a Season? If you find a husband, you’ll have an estate to run, just as you’d like.”
“But what if I don’t? I’m unconventional, to say the least, my lord. There’s no guarantee I’ll find a husband willing to take me on. And I don’t want to be tied for life to someone who will merely tolerate me, or worse, expect me to be different than I am. No, I think it is far better to stay where I am. If it doesn’t work out, I can find something else. Once you’re married, it’s for life. And I would hate to have to be waiting for a husband to conveniently pass on so that I can benefit from his demise.”
“What if you could be guaranteed that your husband would think you’re the best thing that ever happened to him?”
Lillian snorted. By then, they had reached the inn yard. Brock pulled her behind the hedge that was lining the property, affording them a degree of privacy.
“I’m serious, Lillian.”
“No one but my parents has ever thought I was the best thing that ever happened to them, my lord.”
“Why will you never call me by name?”
“I’m in service now, my lord, it’s not seemly.”
Brock grinned at her prim tone before returning to the subject at hand. “But what if? Would you consider it? Or are you so determined to remain independent that you have no wish to wed, no matter who the groom might be?”
Now she was searching his face as he invaded her space, far too close for what she would, of course, consider seemly, but she didn’t push him away, much to the earl’s relief.
“What are you trying to say, my lord? It isn’t kind to dangle fairy tales before me. I have chosen my path, and I believe it is the best one for me.”
“I think that meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I would be eternally grateful if you would consent to be my wife.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lillian stared up into the handsome face before her. Her heart galloped. There was no other word for it. It actually made her feel faint for the briefest moment. She frowned. And then quickly burst into laughter at the disappointment that flooded the earl’s face. Before she could speak, he stepped away from her.
“Of course, you cannot imagine the drudgery of marrying me. You would far rather bake crumpets for the Earl of Sherton. The very married Earl of Sherton, I might add.”
“Are you finished, my lord?”
Her tart tone brought his gaze back to her face, and she was gratified by the eager expression she saw there.
“I have no particular desire to remain in the Earl of Sherton’s household, I can assure you. It was the first paid position that presented itself. Well, rather, there were two options. I decided that working in the kitchens was preferable to being a chambermaid.”
“Wise choice, I should say. Very few chamber pots in the kitchens.”
“That was exactly my thoughts, my lord. Besides the fact that it is extremely rare that the gently born enter the kitchens, so there is far less opportunity for awkward encounters with people I might have met previously.”
“That is also a consideration I would not have thought of, but sensible of you to analyse.”
Lillian couldn’t contain her grin. She had missed these bantering conversations. But she quickly sobered. She had some contentions to raise with the earl.
“You left me to fend for myself, my lord.”
“A fact for which I will be eternally ashamed.” The expression on his face was entirely sincere. Lillian couldn’t detect even a hint of amusement. She believed him.
“You stood behind the curtains and allowed Lester to banish me.”
“I did. I regretted it from the instant it was happening. But you do realize I had a mission to accomplish.”
“What would you have done if you didn’t?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have even met you, if not for the mission. There are no circumstances in this lifetime that would have prevailed upon me to spend any time in Shepley’s company, let alone attend a house party at Ashburn.”
“Now you’re just being logical, my lord. Suppose for a moment. If not for the mission, what would you have done?”
“I would have faced the scandal and stood by your side.”
“What scandal?”
“The one that would have ensued from the two of us being discovered in the steward’s office alone.”
“Oh, well, yes, of course.”
“And then I would have declared that you had made me the happiest man in the realm by agreeing to be my wife.”
“But you hadn’t asked.”
“Being in the steward’s office alone with me was my way of asking.”
“In our pretend scenario, you mean?”
“Yes, in all reality, I’m standing behind the hedge of a common inn to ask.”
Lillian’s grin returned. So did the butterflies in her stomach. And her heartbeat quickened, but she was able to keep her head.
“I’m not a lady, you know.”
“You will be.”
“I haven’t much of a dowry.”
“I don’t need one. I’m quite wealthy on my own, I can assure you. You can keep your ten pounds. I’ll teach you how to invest.”
“Truly?”
“Really and truly. I think you’ll be quite good at it.”
Lillian grinned but then eyed him carefully. “If I agree, you will have to provide for me properly in your Will. I don’t think anyone will hire a former countess to work in their kitchens.”
“I vow to you, Lillian Shaw, that if you will marry me, you will never lack for anything for the rest of your days, whether I am alive or not.”
Lillian bit on her lip, trying to decide.
“Your offer is a good one, my lord, and I recognize the honour you are bestowing upon me by making it, but I’m not sure if I ought to accept.”
The incredulous expression on his face would have been amusing if not for the serious nature of their conversation. Lillian couldn’t even smile at him. She felt tears threaten.
“Don’t cry, my dear. I have no desire to make you uncomfortable, I swear it. Please, tell me why you’re hesitating. It’s almost certain I haven’t expressed myself properly, despite my supposed abilities.”
This finally made her laugh, even if it was a little watery.
“You haven’t said anything about your feelings, Brock. Do you even WANT me to be your wife? Is it just because you feel badly that I got banished for helping you?”
“Good heavens, no. I’d be married ten times over if I had wed with any person I felt badly about in my investigations. Did I fail to mention that I’ve fallen desperately in love with you?”
“Yes, you arrogant buffoon. Did you think I would read your mind?”
“Forgive me, please, my darling,” he said as he laughed and pulled her into his arms. “I desperately want you as my wife. I fought the feelings for a week but couldn’t get you out of my mind. I want you in my house, in my life, in my study, in my bed. To be honest with you, I would like it if you could just glue yourself to my side, but I know that isn’t a practical suggestion. Just marry me. I will be miserable without you. Please, I’ll beg if I must.”
Lillian gazed up at him, a difficult task considering he was trying to tuck her under his chin. She was trying to gauge his sincerity.
“Do you truly mean it?”
“It is the most sincere declaration I have made in my entire life.”
“Very well then. Just to ensure you aren’t miserable for all eternity, I will accept, thank you, my lord.”
He threw back his head and laughed until tears started to form in his eyes. “Life with you will never be dull, will it?”
She grinned in return until his face turned serious.
“Are you just accepting so you needn’t be a cook’s assistant?”
“Are you jesting with me? I quite like being the cook’s assistant. The fact that a countess is most likely not allowed in the kitchen is one of the things which make me hesitate to accept, if you must know.”
“Then what made you accept?”
“Well, for one thing, I don’t really want my aunt to marry Lord Avery just to provide for me.”
“You probably could have talked her out of that.”
Lillian nodded. “That’s true. But you have promised me an entire estate to manage, that sounds deliciously entertaining.”
“If that’s all you wanted, perhaps your aunt could have found someone who needed a companion to run their lives.”
“That’s quite true, except that Lady Violet has assured me that such ladies must be frightfully dreadful company.”
“There is that, of course.” The earl finally seemed to realize she was teasing him and relaxed back against the barn, holding her comfortably in his arms, a smile growing on his face. Lillian relaxed, too. She felt as though she could comfortably remain standing just like that for the rest of her life. But since he had been brave enough to tell her his feelings, she ought to do the same for him.
“But even more than your estate, I find that I, too, would like to be by your side for the rest of eternity, my lord. I do trust you have no intention of leaving me a widow any time soon. I swear, I’ll never forgive you if you do.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I am quite desperately in love with you and couldn’t bear it if you were to abandon me to life without you.”
The smile that spread across his face caused the breath to hitch in her throat. But then all her breath left her as his head descended and his lips settled over hers. She knew she had made the right decision. Despite all practicalities, they were to have a love match. Lillian congratulated herself on the accomplishment before all thought fled her mind and she threw herself enthusiastically into their first of many passionate kisses.
Epilogue
Lillian fought back tears as she watched her aunt’s maid put the finishing touches on her hair. Lady Violet had never looked more beautiful. Lily was delighted that her aunt had found joy with a new partner, and she was certain Uncle Wilbur would have been happy for all of them. He was not the sort who would begrudge anyone happiness. If he could no longer be there to care for his beloved wife, Lillian was certain the viscount would be relieved that his old friend would do so. And Lillian was convinced that Lord Avery was going to do a very good job of it.
She hadn’t yet gotten to the point of being comfortable enough to address him by anything other than Lord Avery or even just Avery, but the earl had made every effort to welcome her into his home. Lillian was surprised that the serious older man had actually been so generous and open to having her there after Sedgwick had found her at Sherton and returned her to Ashburn Place.
Of course, Brock hadn’t wanted her to become ensconced with Avery, but it wasn’t as if Lillian could go and stay at Sedgwick. Aunt Violet had been torn trying to please both noblemen. Lillian had been forced to put her foot down and insist that they stay with Avery until her aunt’s marriage. Thankfully, the older earl had insisted he wanted as short a betrothal as possible without causing a scandal.
Choking back a watery chuckle, Lillian recalled how happy the earl was that it was a Friday when she and Violet had shown up on his doorstep in the company of Lord Sedgwick.
“Excellent. The banns can be read on Sunday,” he had declared with a sense of satisfaction that first evening.
Now here they were, just a little over two weeks later, but the banns had been read the requisite three times. The third time being the day before in the small chapel in which Lillian would be pleased to watch her beloved aunt pledge herself to the handsome earl.
Then chaos would ensue. Sedgwick had been wishing to bring her back to his estate, but Aunt Violet had been surprisingly resistant. She had insisted that Lillian was owed at least a taste of a Season before she committed herself to life as a countess. Sedgwick had growled and grumbled but had finally agreed. Thankfully, the fall session wasn’t too far off.
Kathryn, Violet’s soon to be new stepdaughter, was reacting very well to the disruption of her quiet life. Lillian had enjoyed getting to know the young woman over the past two weeks and was relieved that the earl had stopped watching their interactions so suspiciously. Violet had whispered to Lillian that Avery had wished to send her to one of his married children to protect Kathryn’s innocence from Lillian but that Violet had been able to prevail upon him to get to know her niece before casting judgment.
Despite his arranging for the banns to be read within days of her arrival, Violet had insisted that Avery collect the rest of his family to his estate to meet her before she would actually agree to the marriage. Lillian was impressed and delighted to see her aunt blossoming back into the strong woman she had been before she had lost her first husband.
Thankfully, Avery’s older daughter and son both welcomed Violet and Lillian into their lives without many qualms. They were preoccupied with their own lives but gracious enough to be glad for their father’s happiness. So finally, after the second reading of the banns, Violet had agreed to marry the earl, to his relief and everyone else’s amusement. The last week had been a flurry of activity as the estate was scrubbed from top to bottom and everything prepared to celebrate.
Lillian had itched to take control of the preparations but forced herself to remain in the background. This would never be her home, and it was best that Violet feel her own way forward. Her aunt had consulted with her on numerous things, but it was obvious to Lillian that she wouldn’t be needed in the future. Avery’s staff was competent, and Aunt Violet was becoming accustomed to resuming control.
Brock had come and gone with alarming regularity. Alarming because Lillian struggled with the depths of her longing for his company whenever he was absent. But, as he pointed out, he needed to set a few things in motion upon his own estate before they settled there. And, as he further pointed out with a glower, if he was to dance attendance upon her during at least a part of the Season.
Courting Intrigue: A Sweet, Regency Romance (The Bequest Series Book 2) Page 15