by Camille Rae
“We have to leave now,” Silas said, his voice punctuated each time his foot hit the ground as we ran.
Caia was limping, but keeping up relatively well.
“How did the Blues find us?” Caia asked, looking back over my shoulder to make sure no one was following us.
“Asking myself the same question, Princess,” Lachlan said, and we rounded a corner to run down a lane towards Reggie’s home.
“Grab whatever’s convenient. We can’t waste much time,” I instructed and we ran into the house.
Caia threw a few coins down on the work bench and grabbed her daypack as I gathered the herbs that Reggie had showed me for the pain in Caia’s leg.
“Where’s Mika?” I asked me, breathless.
“She’ll find us, don’t worry,” I said, stuffing a blanket into my bag as we started out the door.
“Thank you,” I called to Reggie, who had only just begun to amble out from a back room. “We appreciate it all!”
He raised a hand, but remained confused as we made a hasty getaway.
We ran of Reggie’s home and sprinted for the edge of town. We had to put a lot of distance between us and the Blues before we could slow down.
We ran into the tree line and a dark shape began running parallel to us in the shadows of the trees.
I breathed a sigh of relief realizing Mika had found us.
“Do you think they knew who I was?” Caia asked, beginning to slow down out of exhaustion.
“We can’t slow down yet,” I said, grabbing her wrist as we stopped in a thicket of trees. “Cash, shift and then carry Caia on your back.”
He gave me a surprised look. “Carry her on my back?” He repeated, as if that couldn’t have possibly been what I had suggested.
“You’re the biggest of us all,” I said.
Caia scoffed, staring at him in surprise.
Still, he pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants, glancing over his shoulder. He stuffed them in his pack, watching behind us the entire time.
We’d make better time if we could run as a wolves instead of humans, and he understood my meaning.
He shifted effortlessly, and then I helped Caia climb onto him, showing her where to hold his scruff.
“Don’t let go, whatever you do,” I said, and Cash bounded off. I thought I heard her scream, but out of terror or excitement, I couldn’t tell.
Lachlan, Silas, and I shifted and I grabbed my pack along with Cash’s, then bound after them.
I missed running through the forest. Nothing calmed me more than zeroing in on the trees before me, dodging and navigating the terrain so much easier than on human feet.
More than that, it was easier for me to think in my wolf form. Emotions were harder to hold onto in my shifted form, so my mind was clearer.
It was all instinct.
That, I could deal with.
What I couldn’t deal with was being even more tapped into Caia’s thoughts.
She was feeling guilty again.
People were dying for her. For the Rebellion. For the belief that they had to overthrow Elestra, who was only in power because she had disappeared when she was a baby. No fault of her own, and yet, all because of her.
“I hope the Blues don’t burn down that village,” Lachlan said through our bond, not glancing back.
I didn’t dare let myself think about it too much. “You know they will. I can’t believe we were so careless.”
“We couldn’t have known,” Silas said.
“We could have at least kept a low profile,” Cash said.
“Well, at least now we have money,” Lachlan said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, dead men’s money,” I said, the shame so strong I felt it even as my wolf.
Chapter 26
Caia
We trudged for hours until sundown, following a river that Silas had decided would lead us due east, and then found a place to rest. The men had shifted back into their human forms so that I could walk.
Riding on Cash’s wolf had been a much different experience than riding a horse. For one, he moved much faster, and two, it was much, much harder to hold on.
My arms ached from the effort, and they had taken pity on me to walk since we had put some distance between us and the village.
“How are the Blues finding us so easily?” Lachlan said, pulling root vegetables out of his bag for dinner.
Loel glanced at me, rooting in his own bag until he grabbed out a small knife and began to carve a stick into a point. “Elestra and Caia share a psychic connection,” he said casually, so casually that it took me a moment to process it.
Lachlan, Silas, and Cash whipped their heads toward me, horrified looks on their faces. I could have sworn even Mika cast a wary glance my way.
A pin could have dropped in that forest and I would have heard it.
I cleared my throat, looking at the ground as my cheeks reddened in embarrassment.
“How long have you…” Silas began, blinking in disbelief, looking between Loel and me. “The chances of that are…”
I shifted my stance, deeply uncomfortable at the thought that I was putting everyone in danger.
“She sometimes talks to me in my dreams,” I said, forcing much more casual tone into my voice than I was actually warranted.
“Talk how?” Lachlan said, his eyes narrowing.
“Well, at first the dreams were just visions. And then she started actually having conversations with me. She told me not to trust someone and then she showed me that she had Jude with her. That’s when I left,” I said, biting my lower lip.
“She showed you she had Jude with her and that’s why we’re going to Queen’s City? You’re just trusting that the evillest woman in Laeris confided in you and it’s not some elaborate trap?” Cash said, looking at me as though I had grown a second head. He stood and turned, stomping away into the trees, muttering curses.
“I know it’s a terrible plan, but it’s all I have,” I said, pleading to Silas and Lachlan.
Lachlan nodded sympathetically, reaching to rub my shoulder.
“That’s not all,” Loel said, shaking his head with a grave look on his face.
I pressed my mouth into a flat line, glaring at Loel.
“She can connect directly with Caia even when she’s conscious. I’ve heard it,” he said.
Lachlan and Silas both silently turned back to me.
“Is that true?” Lachlan said, and his voice was strained.
I sighed and held up my palms. “It only happened once, when we were all in the training dungeon and I was trying to use my powers,” I admitted, and I felt as though I was confessing to first-degree murder with the terrible feeling I had in the pit of my stomach.
Silas swallowed, nodding and staring off into the distance.
Lachlan rubbed his hands together, looking down at his feet.
Loel was still whittling. Whittling, for fuck’s sake.
He glanced up at me with a brow quirked.
Ah, he had heard that.
“Yep,” he murmured, looking back to his whittling.
“I understand if knowing that… changes things,” I said, standing up and wiping my now sweating palms on my pants.
I retreated, walked away from the three of them in the same direction as Cash, walking slowly and making sure to avoid stepping on twigs or dry leaves.
I found him only about fifty yards away, sitting beside the river on a small boulder. He had his boots off and was dangling his feet in the water. He didn’t look up when I approached, but he didn’t get up and leave, either.
I felt like picking a fight, going on the offensive instead of being on the defensive with Loel. “Why are you even here?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“It helps me to think when I’m around water,” he said, still not looking away from the water.
“No, I mean, why are you here with me? With us?” I said, taking a step closer.
“Because the pack bond is forcin
g me,” he said, his eyebrows raised.
“I don’t believe you,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re much more stubborn than that. Besides, you could have stayed with Theo if it was that strong.”
“Because a White Witch came to me in a vision and told me I had to,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes and said, “I still don’t believe you.”
“Because I want to kill your sister,” he bit out the words, and it felt like the air exploded off of him.
I tilted my head. “Why?”
“Because she killed my family,” he said, his voice strained. He finally looked up at me, the pain obvious on his face for only the blink of an eye, and then his mask came back. He looked to the water again, his shoulders tight with tension.
I straightened, walking to stand beside him. His pain physically hurt me, and I wanted to understand why and how and what he was feeling.
It was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him, but only for a flash. It was as though someone opened a door only to slam it shut again immediately.
The water was calm in the river, barely a ripple caressing the surface to suggest the torrent underneath.
I took off my boots and socks and sat on the rock beside him, slightly below him.
“What happened?” I said, my voice quiet, swishing my toes in the cool water. After the long walk, the cool water felt heavenly.
He shrugged his shoulders, but I could see his knuckles turning white with his grip on the stone beside him.
“I don’t need your pity,” he said, his eyes dark.
I took a moment to look him over. His caramel skin and close cut hair contrasted sharply with his light, sparkling eyes. When he shaved in Nos, he kept a hint of stubble around his jaw, but now he looked more rugged. Tougher.
“I said, I don—” he began.
“I know what you said,” I interrupted, my voice level and calm. “But it still hurts me to see you hurt.”
He looked at me with wide eyes, shocked for a moment.
It was the truth, even though it surprised me by how easily I had said it. I cared for all of the pack as though they were my own brothers. By his shocked expression, I could tell that honesty and kindness and patience wasn’t something he experienced often.
So that would be my gift to him. My patience.
I swirled my toes in the cool water and looked around. Now, in late autumn, almost all of the trees had dead leaves, and the crisp air made them rustle and crinkle a little louder than normal. The sun was nearly set, and the gray twilight had sucked the color out of everything. An owl cooed in the tree near us, announcing the coming of the night.
“I lost my parents, too,” I said, not looking at him. “But they weren’t murdered. I imagine that’s the worst kind of pain in the world.”
He didn’t turn to me. He didn’t even make a sound.
“Do you want to tell me about it?” I asked.
“No,” he growled.
I nodded, understanding. I could barely talk about my parents accident and I hadn’t even been close with them.
The silence hung between us.
“I want to make this right,” I said, finally. “If you want justice, I’ll do anything I can to help you.”
He looked at me out of the side of his eye, silently taking in my own expression.
I was honest. I didn’t know if justice meant killing Elestra, but my pack needed my help. I didn’t understand it all, exactly, but I wanted to.
Eventually, he made his mmphmm noise in agreement.
We walked slowly back to the group, my stomach wringing itself into knots. How would they treat me now that they knew I was putting them all in danger?
I dragged my feet, wanting to delay the inevitable.
“Spark, hurry your ass up,” Loel scolded, and I looked up from my feet to see that Silas, Lachlan, and Loel had determined looks on their faces.
I was definitely getting kicked out of the band. Voted off the island. Kicked to the curb.
It was okay, we’d had a good run. Less than a week ago I was determined to wander off by myself, anyway.
“Oh, my Gods, you’re being so dramatic,” Loel said, crossing his arms and giving me a skeptical look. “We are not ‘voting you off the island’ — whatever that means.”
“We’re going to teach you how to become a psychic shield,” Silas announced, looking proud.
I quirked a brow. “A what?”
“It’ll allow you to block Elestra’s connection to you,” Silas explained.
“And Loel’s,” Lachlan teased.
“We’ll start in the morning and work as we move. We need to make Queen’s City by the start of winter or we don’t stand much of a chance journeying safely,” Silas continued.
“So, I can stay?” I asked, feeling a bit incredulous that not only were they keeping me, but they were going to help me.
“Like any of us had a choice. You’re ours, Princess,” Lachlan said, wrapping an arm around me and I felt a pulse of pride wash over me.
We ate dinner without too much more chatter. I was feeling exhausted after the long day, and I welcomed the chance to stretch out on my blanket.
I waited for Lachlan to lie down beside me, but I was surprised to watch Loel silently settle on the ground instead.
I searched his face for understanding, but he silently took me in his arms and rested his cheek upon my hair.
“Sleep. Don’t dream. We’ve a long way to go and we need you rested,” he whispered.
***
“So, how much do you think Elestra is seeing?” Silas asked, shifting the weight of his pack on his shoulders as we walked.
I blinked into the bright light as we walked through a sparsely wooded area. It was early morning, and I was remembering exactly what I hated about journeying with the Wolves: They woke up, ready to go. Me? I needed caffeine and about twenty minutes of staring at my phone.
What I wouldn't give for my phone now. I could have texted Jude, dropped a pin, and been out of the whole mess in an hour.
But what I’d really give my left arm for now was coffee. It had been so easy in my past life to show up at some cafe and just order a latte and a croissant.
Oh, croissants. Even the kind of bad ones that were too crunchy on the ends. How had I ever complained about such treasures?
I groaned in hunger. We had eaten stale bread and mealy apples that morning.
“Are you paying attention?” Loel asked, looking at me out of the side of his eye.
“Croissants,” I murmured, wishing that my magic power was the conjuring of baked goods.
“Caia, are you not taking this seriously?” Silas chastised, and I cringed.
“I’m trying,” I lied.
“How much do you think Elestra is seeing?” He repeated, slowly, as if I just wasn’t comprehending the question.
“I’m… not sure. Sometimes she only says my name. She knew when I had se—” I started, but stopped myself before finishing the rest of that sentence: when I had sex with Loel.
Lachlan cast me a mischievous look. “It’s hilarious that you’re trying to pretend it’s not obvious what you were about to say,” he smirked.
I noticed Loel was staring very intensely at his feet as we walked.
“Okay, moving on…” Silas began. “Since you’re not sure how much she’s seeing, we have to assume she can tap into your mind at any moment. You had to be able to consciously and unconsciously put up defenses.”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure what he meant.
“So you need to be able to first, detect when your mind is being tapped into, and you also need to protect your mind with a sort of inherent system,” Silas continued.
“That sounds impossible,” I said bluntly, and he chuckled.
“Can you feel it when I connect with you?” Loel asked, his arm brushing mine as he stepped to walk next to me.
I thought for a moment. To be honest, I couldn’t tell at all.
“Here, if I warn you
it’s about to happen, it may become more obvious,” Loel said, hooking my elbow as he stopped walking.
I jerked to a stop and held onto his arm to keep my balance.
“Close your eyes,” he said.
I did as I was told.
“Now, take stock of your body. Scan from your toes up, making sure you account for each feeling in there,” he said, and I opened one eye to give him a skeptical look.
His eyes sparkled as he watched me.
I glanced to the other men to see that they were watching me, too. Cash was casually leaning against a tree nearby, but Silas and Lachlan were standing on either side of me, staring intensely.
Loel nodded encouragingly, and I closed my eyes again.
I started with my toes, wiggling them in my boots to see how they felt, then imagined a laser scanning my body, taking account of each tense muscle, each bruise, each tingle of feeling. When I pictured my own mind, I was surprised to see a glowing golden light surrounded by darkness.
“Now, I’m about to connect with you,” Loel said, and I kept my focus on my golden light, noticing a spark float out of nowhere to rest in the glow.
“There, that’s it,” Loel’s voice said in my mind.
I opened my eyes, blinking. “That’s really weird,” I admitted, holding my hands on my temples.
“Did you feel any different, or just see the spark?” He asked, and I tried to remember.
“Just the spark,” I said.
“Okay, let’s try once more. Picture your mind again,” Loel said, and I sighed, going along with it.
I thought of the golden glow in the darkness, and wondered idly if that was my power showing itself to me. It reminded me of a star in the night sky.
“Now,” Loel whispered, and I refocused my thoughts.
I saw the spark and felt the tiniest of tingles in my scalp. Was I just imagining that? It was so small, like a tiny zap from static electricity, but milder.
I had felt that before, but never thought much of it. With all of the tension I held in my shoulders, I never paid much attention to any kind of headache or feeling since I knew what the cause most likely was.