“You mean like Benny?”
“Fuck Benny,” Abe scowled.
“Soon enough man, soon enough.” We all hated the little bastard, “His wife is flying in with Dom.”
“No shit?”
“No, wonder what’s going on a mile in the sky?”
We laughed, “Focus,” Abe laughed, “Zandor is going to be pissed he’s in Venice.”
“It’s not Zandor we need to worry about,” I chuckled, “Alright we are focusing right?”
“Yeah, Dom has a copy of the speech, I just wrapped up the video part of the presentation.”
“Carly needs a dress, call her and tell her you’ll have one delivered,” I looked up and Abe was looking at me oddly, “What?”
“She might have one,” Abe laughed.
“No I checked last night…”
“You went over there and rifled through her things!”
“I spent the night,” I knew I was pissing him off, so I smirked on purpose and leaned back and put my hands behind my head, “The whole night.”
“Way to take things slow fucker, she is dealing with…”
I sat up, “Nothing happened. She cried, she threw up, I gave her a bath…”
“Nothing happened and you gave her a bath?”
“What size do you think she is?” I was ignoring him on purpose, and definitely provoking him on purpose, that son of a bitch thrives on this shit. Productive as hell when he is pissed.
“I don’t fucking know, you think your bad ass but I am putting you on notice. Fuck her up and I am going to kick your ass up and down the shore,” Abe was pissed.
“Five, six? Seriously Abe help me out,” I looked up at him, he had veins popping out of his neck.
“Fuck you,” he stood up, “You got your tux there smart ass?”
“No but I will order it as soon as I get done picking out what lingerie I am going to peel off your cousin tonight,” Abe slammed the door when he left the office and I laughed.
He popped his head back in, “Eight o’clock fucktard!”
“Love you Bro,” I chuckled.
I Googled high end clothing stores in the city. Maison Martin Margiela popped up. I had never been there but the website was like nothing else I had ever experienced in the little bit of online shopping I had done for Little Bell. I loved it immediately. The pictures of the store looked amazing and I would be taking her there someday. It was art, not just a building that housed clothes. I spent way too much time admiring it than I would ever admit too.
I grabbed my phone to call the store directly. I told them the item, size, and color I wanted. The salesperson asked the occasion and I was kind of was taken aback, seriously why did they want to know. By the end of my conversation, the salesman (if you could call him that, I felt like he was now a friend, I swear I came real close to inviting him to the event tonight) he knew the occasion and even why it was important. I was adamant on sparing no expense and he seriously could have sold me anything, but the shit kicker was he didn’t push. When he asked her shoe size I was lost momentarily, he didn’t make me feel like a dick he helped me figure it out and mention that if they were wrong I could return them. I even asked that he just pick something out for me that kind of flattered her evening wear but didn’t shout, I want to nail this girl so bad that I am buying matching clothes. He laughed, asked my size, and I gave it to him with strict instructions that I did not want flashy. He would be sure her things were delivered to her address within a few hours and that mine were delivered to the office. I even tried to tip him and he refused. I felt like a douche at that point, but hey he probably just saved my ass, I would definitely be sending a gift of some sort.
~
I was pacing in my dark gray suit when Abe walked into the banquet hall with Carly. She was fucking stunning and I am not gonna lie I could feel myself chub up a bit especially knowing what was under that amazing dress, and even a bit more picturing what was under that. I licked my dry lips and she looked at me at the same damn time. Her eyes widened a bit and she looked to Abe immediately. Her hair was styled perfectly, it was pinned back on the sides and laid down her shoulder covering her left tit. Holy shit, I need to get laid soon before I explode. I wonder if once I have her it won’t be one of the first thoughts that crosses my mind when I see her. I doubt it, I’m probably doomed to a lifetime of wanting to be buried inside that sweet little…
“Jase,” Abe stuck out his hand to shake mine but my eyes never left hers.
“You look stunning Carly,” I am sure my face turned as red as hers did. She was rubbing off on me, the whole thinking before you speak thing.
“Thanks,” she looked around lost for a moment. “They certainly don’t spare any expense do they?” she asked looking at Abe.
“No they don’t, but I can guarantee I’ll be asking for a raise after I am settled in here. Jase, you mind hanging out with Carly for a few minutes? I see someone I need to talk to,” Abe didn’t wait for a reply, he walked away leaving her by my side.
“You don’t have to entertain me,” she smiled the smile that said she didn’t want to be a bother.
“Please you’ll be doing me a favor,” I wanted to take her hand but knew that would be too pushy, what would Mimi say. I chuckled and she looked at me and again and looked incredibly self-conscious, “Would you like a drink?”
“No, way,” she giggled, “I mean, no thank you.”
“Water, ginger ale, tonic, Vodka and Cranberry,” I joked and she laughed, “Water it is… come on, the bar is this way.”
Carly walked beside me looking around. She spotted Abe standing with Dom and Jules. Dom was smirking at us and winked. I noticed that her shoulders slumped in slightly and she looked around nervously, insecure as hell and it pissed me off. I grabbed her hand and walked to the mirror wall beside the bar. I took her shoulders and faced her towards it standing behind her.
“Look in the mirror Carly, and tell me what you see.”
“Jase, please don’t…”
“You are the most beautiful woman in this room, yet some dick winks at you, and you want to hide.” She started to step away and I held her waist, bringing her back, “Your eyes are as blue as the ocean on the calmest clear day, your hair naturally frames that fucking face, the one I swear to God I could look at everyday for the rest of my life, your body clothed or not would make any man on the planet give their left nut to have just one night with you. Your mind is constantly working, taking in everything around you. Your heart …”
“Stop, just stop, I can’t…”
“Okay Carly, just please don’t hide inside yourself, what you have to offer is amazing.” I needed to shut my fucking mouth but I was burning inside, I didn’t know how much more I could take, I needed her to know that I never stopped loving her.
I looked over at Abe and he must have known I needed him to come save my ass, again.
“Come dance with me?” he took Carly’s hand and they went to the dance floor.
I ordered a shot and a beer, something to take the edge off. I looked over at Dom and the fucker was grinning at me, he nodded towards Carly and winked. I would fucking cut him. I knew the look I was giving him did not go unnoticed.
I walked out of the banquet hall and walked outside, I paced back and forth for what seemed like an eternity trying to keep myself from grabbing her, throwing her over my shoulder, and leaving this party.
When I walked in Dom was dancing with my girl, and she was smiling her polite smile. He looked at me and winked and I gave the Italian asshole the Bronx salute. He smiled and I shook my head and looked away. Two songs later he was still dancing with her and I had enough.
“Mind if I cut in?” I tapped Dom on the shoulder.
“Are you a waiter?” Dom was such a dick. When I told him she had no idea what had happened, he told me I should use my new power to impress her.
“No but you’re an…”
“Jase this is Dominic, he will be Abe’s boss, and mine as well,�
�� Carly was playing defense.
“I will let this common…whatever he is, dance with you amore mio. But if he bores you or steps on your little feet I will come save you.”
“Have you ever heard of sexual harassment? Sei uno stronzo,” I took Carly in my arms rather forcefully.
“Oh you speak some Italian?” Dom laughed.
“Yes, Dom was it? I would apologize for being rude but…”
“Carly is a beautiful woman, all is fair, isn’t it?” Dom laughed and walked away.
“Jase what are you doing?” Carly looked upset, “I could lose my job.”
“Sorry, I just... It won’t happen again. I just thought you were dancing with him to be polite and I didn’t want him to upset you.”
“Well actually, the woman he is with is very interested in the research Thomas and I have been working on. She read all the findings on her trip here from Italy and Dominic was just saying how he would like to learn more as well. Apparently I’ll see him often at work Jase. I need this job, Thomas needs this job--you have no idea what it means to us. Please don’t do that again.”
She was calm, but I knew she was pissed, “Alright, I will even apologize to him…”
“No please just leave it alone. I am going to find Abe, thanks for the dance,” she walked away and left me standing there.
“Hello, Jase,” I turned to see Jules standing next to me.
“Jules,” I nodded and looked at Carly standing next to Abe.
“Dance?”
“One,” I thought this may be a good idea, Carly would be happy to not have to deal with me for a few minutes.
“She is lovely,” Jules smiled and pulled me a little closer than I felt comfortable with.
I stepped back, “Personal space, please.”
“Awe I see,” she smiled, “I went over her work.”
“Good,” I looked towards Carly and she looked away quickly.
The song ended and I walked away leaving Jules on the dance floor.
I told the coordinator to serve dinner and he looked at me strangely, “I’m Jase Steel, serve the fucking dinner.” I was turning into such a dick!
I walked to the bar and got another beer. I stood back and watched Abe and Carly as they talked to Dom and Jules. This fucking sucked, and it was my idea. I mean everyone was having fun except me of course. I suddenly felt sorry for all the dudes who went to senior prom alone, poor bastards.
I sat next to Abe at dinner purposely on the other side of the table so that I could look at Carly. At this point I was sure I was making her uncomfortable so I forced myself to make small talk with a guy who ended up being in our IT department and he had no idea who I was, which I liked.
I noticed Carly yawn a few times and smiled, thinking of possible sleeping with her head on my chest again tonight, she looked down having caught me again.
After dinner Dom took the stage, I looked around and couldn’t find Carly. I finally found Abe, “Where is she?”
“She mentioned being tired…”
“Call her, this is it man,” Dom was just about to announce Steel Industries USA. I looked at Abe.
“She’s heading home, she is tired and needs a break, and I get it-- she has been through,” I started towards the door. “Where are you going?”
“To find her.”
“Jase you’re pushing her too hard man.”
“Take care of this, I have to go.”
I ran outside and she was walking down the sidewalk, I motioned for a car and we pulled up beside her. I got out, “It’s freezing out here, let me give you a ride.”
She kept walking and I jogged up beside her, she was crying, “Baby, what did I do?”
“Jase you’re …I can’t do this with you, you’re going to break me. You said you wanted to be friends, and then you pull that crap with the mirror, you cut in while I am dancing with my boss or whatever he is, you stare at me during dinner, you need to stop. I am telling you I can’t handle this. I just got here two days ago and I’ve seen you both of those days. I want a chance to try to be whole again. My mom is gone! She died less than a week ago.”
She started to cry harder and I couldn’t help myself I grabbed her and carried her to the car. I gave the address to my driver and hoped to hell when the idiot said Yes sir, Mr. Steel she didn’t hear it.
I held her the entire way to her place, Randolph opened the door and I climbed out and held her hand. I took her key and unlocked the door and opened it for her. When I started to follow her she held her hand against my chest and stopped me.
“Please don’t make me ask you to leave…”
“Carly I…”
“I won’t let you do this to her. I’m not going to stand in your way of being her father.”
“Carly, I’ve spent five days total away from Bella in the past fourteen months, I…”
She looked at me, “I need time to heal, to be strong for me.”
“And I have some things I need to tell you before you find out and think…”
“No.”
She shut the door in my face and I stood there expecting her to open it like an idiot. After I could not feel my nose I walked back to the car and got in, “Home please.”
~
I was exhausted when I walked into the office at eight in the morning, some of it from the emotional fucking I took last night, some from the emotional fucking I did to myself, stressing over today’s expected train wreck, and some from the emotional fucking from Bella’s first tantrum. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her come with me to work. She’d come every other Saturday morning with me. And she was pissed. Little feet stomping pissed, not quite the: I hate you thing yet, thank God because I would probably cry like a six year old little girl if that ever happened. If I kept trying to lead two lives it would, I know it would.
I answered my phone at eight thirty. Nora my real receptionist was back from her family emergency. I was grateful Pam would not be there. Pam’s presence would not win any points.
“She’s here, and she is early. Should I stall?”
“No, I will let Dom and Jules do their thing and then have them give me a few minutes before they send her to me,” I hung up and seriously felt sick to my stomach.
My back was turned when Nora opened the door to let her in, I heard her sit and I couldn’t bring myself to turn around, what was I thinking? Oh fuck it!
I turned around and she looked at me, “What are you doing here? Are you trying to ruin my life Jase, get out before Mr…” she stopped talking and I could tell the wheels were turning inside her head. She stood quickly and I bolted to the door and stood in front of it, I knew she was planning to escape, “Get out of my way!”
“Not until you listen to me, Carly,” I snapped at her and I immediately regretted it.
“I hate you, you fucking…get out of my way or I will scream.”
“No you won’t,” I scowled and she did. She fucking screamed.
“LET. ME. OUT. NOW!”
“Scream all you want, I pay these people, so you will fucking listen to me! I have busted my ass for nine months to pull all this shit together and you will give me the fucking courtesy of a ten minute conversation!”
She reached into her bag and grabbed her phone, I was sure she was going to call the police. I walked to my desk and sat in my chair, waiting.
“The time starts now, you have ten minutes and then you stay away from me,” she was shaking, I was not sure if it was out of anger or fear but it blasted me.
“Baby…”
“I am NOT your Baby!”
“Miss Smythe, is that fucking better?” She didn’t answer so I went on, “When I was supposed to meet you in Denver, my Grandmother died, my mom’s mother in Italy. Her lawyer called the shop and insisted we be informed of what was in her will.” I held nothing back, I told her every detail. She sat and listened looking down of course and playing with her hands but she was still listening, that was good right? Wrong, her alarm went off si
gnaling that my ten minutes was up and she stood. I jumped up and ran to the door and stood there.
“Carly, the offer was made for the research department to be brought here before I even knew of your mother’s passing. I never expected to lay all this on you when you were hurting. I haven’t been with anyone. I have built this with the idea that as hard as I worked for all this I would work ten times as hard to show you that I have done this for us. I love you. Waking up with you the other morning was a dream come true for me. I want to wake up every morning with your head on my chest.”
She still did not look up, “Please move,” her lip quivered.
“Baby, please don’t walk away from me,” I was begging and I didn’t care.
“Jase, please move,” she asked again quietly.
“If you’re leaving this opportunity because you hate me,” she closed her eyes tightly together and I paused. “Carly your work is needed here, so if you’re in love with Thomas,” she looked at me and was about to say something. “Wait, just hear me out. Charlotte is dying, from what I understand, which is not a lot, my background is not medical.”
“It’s not business either, but you’re here aren’t you?”
“Actually, never mind, I’ll save that for another time. Bella’s grandmother is dying. I have a file I’d like you to take a look at. My mother tells me it’s something I need to accept and if you tell me the same I will.”
Carly took the folder when I handed it to her, “I’m not promising you anything Jase. I will look but I don’t know if I can even stay working for you.”
“I won’t be your boss,” I squatted down so that we were eye to eye, “I’m not your boss, I am a man who treasures you. If you can’t feel that way about me again, I love you enough to let you heal. Don’t leave here because of me, as a matter a fact I will leave so you don’t have to deal with my shit anymore.”
She looked up at me, still shaking, and so very sad. She looked like she was empty and it scared me more for her than it did for me.
“Thomas will be here Monday,” I looked at her and then away. “You listen to me Jase, he is a wonderful man and if you even look at him cross eyed I am out, he will come too.”
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