by Kelsie Rae
“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! Are you okay?” I apologize.
“Charlie?” she asks, looking me up and down.
“Hi. Again, I’m so sorry, I—”
“Don’t even worry about it.” She waves me off. “I was actually looking for you.”
“You were?”
“Yeah, actually. How are you? I didn’t get to chat with you at the grand opening.”
Ugh. My shoulders hunch at the memory.
“Oh, yeah. I…uh…I’m sorry I rushed off. I wasn’t feeling well.” The apology sounds forced. And awkward. And, let’s be honest––like a load of bullshit. Thankfully, she doesn’t call me out on it.
“You looked a little pale when I saw you beeline it for the exit, and I was worried.”
My eyes threaten to well with tears, but I dig my nails into the palm of my hand. The bite grounds me enough to keep my shit together.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you,” I offer with my gaze glued to the damp cement beneath my black Nikes.
“Are you feeling better now?” Her voice is soft and kind, making it that much harder to lie to her.
“Um…yeah.” I clear my throat, slip on the best poker face I can muster, and look back up at her. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern, though. That was really sweet of you.”
Weight shifting between my feet, I try to figure out the quickest way to end this conversation without full-on running in the opposite direction. ‘Cause, ya know, I have a soul, and even though I hate Levi right now, I still wouldn’t want my response while chatting with his boss to cause an issue for him at work.
Damn conscience.
“Don’t mention it. I actually had an ulterior motive for coming here. I haven’t been able to get a hold of Levi, and I was curious if you’ve talked to him lately?”
Jerking my head back, I reply, “No. Why?”
“I was just really surprised that he turned down the offer yesterday. I wanted to see if I could maybe talk to him and change his mind. I think he’d be an excellent addition to Montague Enterprises, and I’m curious what we can do to convince him to accept the final position. We want to see what it takes to get him to work with us.”
My jaw drops before I attempt to cover my surprise. “I’m sorry, what?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Alexandra returns curiously.
I shake my head. “No. Are you telling me he got the job offer?”
With a nod, a very confused Alexandra explains, “Yes. Right after his presentation on Monday, we extended the job to him, but he turned it down.”
“Why?” I ask.
She pauses before shaking her head. “I don’t know. Honestly, he’s seemed off since about halfway through the party on Saturday. I bumped into him when he was looking for you, and he seemed anxious but relatively fine. Then you ran out feeling sick, and he stayed behind. After that, he looked…lost. I was really surprised he declined after witnessing how hard he worked and all the time and effort he put into coming out on top. I can’t believe that he was willing to walk away from it. Do you think you could get him to reconsider?”
The question hangs in the air, weighing heavily on my shoulders. Staring off into the distance, her request runs through my mind over and over again. I just…I can’t understand why he would turn it down.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks, obviously reading the pain written across my face.
With a quiet sniff, I release a deep breath. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be a great person to talk to Levi right now. We’re,” I choke on the word and try again. “We’re not exactly on good terms right now.”
Her expression softens before her hand grabs my forearm and squeezes gently. “What happened? Are you okay? Can I help?”
My lower lip quivers, my breathing shaky. “I’m not sure if there’s anything that can help this.”
“I had a hunch that something might be going on,” she reveals sympathetically. “You know, I’m a really good listener if you want to talk about it.”
With a dry laugh, I shake my head again. “Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with a lot of good listeners in my life, but none of them have been able to come up with a solution that can make this work.”
“Then let me tell you this. I may or may not have been a listening ear to Levi too before the grand opening. I know for a fact that he cares about you. A lot,” she emphasizes. “He may not have told you this, but I was the one that twisted his arm to come find you on Thursday.”
“Why would you do that?” I don’t mean for the question to come out so sharply, but it does. An image of Levi’s face from that day comes to mind. It’s quickly followed by the way his eyes softened when he asked me on a date. He was so nervous and so not the Levi I grew up with.
“Because,” Alexandra starts, scattering the image and bringing me back to the present. “I could tell from the first moment I saw you two in the same room when I stopped by Get Baked with my daughters that there was a spark between you two. And I wanted to encourage it to ignite. Everyone deserves happiness, Charlie. And I knew he was holding himself back.”
Shaking off the remainder of sadness from the memory, I grab onto my anger. “Well, you must’ve misread the situation because all I am to him is an asset when needed and an obligation when I’m not.” Bonnie tugs on the leash, clearly over this whole chatting thing, but I don’t move an inch as I mutter, “Just a second, Bonnie girl.”
“What do you mean?” Alexandra asks curiously.
“Honestly?” I sigh. “I don’t even know anymore. He used me, Alexandra. He practically sold me to Conner in hopes of getting him to withdraw his application for the job. That’s how much Levi cared about our relationship.” Her face doesn’t show an ounce of surprise. “Did you know?”
Giving me a single nod, she tucks a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “I did know. And I’m so sorry that happened to you. But I will tell you this. You weren’t in his cubicle when he finally realized what was at stake if he didn’t get his head out of his ass. He couldn’t handle seeing you with someone else, and I know for a fact that he regretted bargaining you in the first place. He was jealous as hell, and he was willing to sacrifice his job to get you back. He was an idiot, Charlie. But in the end, he called it off. Doesn’t that count for something? He wanted Conner to leave you alone, and he put the chance at his dream job on the line for you. Hell, if upper management had caught wind of their little agreement, he could’ve easily been fired for it. He was willing to risk that outcome as long as he could ease his conscience. But it looks to me like he lost both of the things he wanted. Talk to him. For him––and for you. Hell, even for Montague Enterprises.” She laughs. “Yes, I’m being a little selfish. We really want him, and we’re trying to figure out how to convince him to take the job. But now that I know what happened between you two, I don’t think I can do it. Not without your help. That being said, if he says no, or if you refuse to help,” she adds, “I completely understand too.”
All the information she divulged hangs in the air, threatening to burst my little bubble of reality that I’d conjured from my perspective until I want to crumble. The silence that follows only proves the ball is in my court, and I need to decide what to do with everything I’ve learned.
I just don’t know where to start.
But one thing is clear. I don’t think I can sum up the effort to keep up anymore small talk, and it’s obvious she’s said everything she came here to say.
Bonnie tugs on the leash again, anxious to continue our run. “I should probably get going. Thank you for telling me, though. And for stopping by. I really appreciate it.”
“Thank you for almost running me over,” she teases. “I was headed into Get Baked to see you, so it really worked out. I guess it was meant to be. But you’re right. I need to get going too. My sister, Bianca, is watching my little girls along with a two-year-old of her own, so I can only imagine the chaos she’s experiencing. I should probably go relieve her.”
Blanching, I cover my mouth at the prospect. “Oh my gosh! I can’t even imagine having to herd that many little kids all at once!”
“I know, huh?” Her tinkling laughter proves that even though parenting is hard, you quickly learn to roll with the punches. “I’ll see you later.”
“You too.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Charlie
Sucking my lips into my mouth, I rock back on my heels and raise my fist into the air for the tenth time in the last thirty seconds. Before I can talk myself out of it––again––I pound on the solid door in front of me.
Then I wait.
And I wait.
And all the while, my heart is racing a million beats a minute while I force my feet not to move an inch from this spot. I know that if I do, I’ll be down the hall before Levi has a chance to answer the door.
However, when the door in front of me creaks open, I’m greeted with a glimpse of Conner instead.
I jerk back in surprise before sliding my hands into the front pockets of my jeans as an awkward silence follows the sound of the squeaky hinges.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his tone accusatory.
I shouldn’t have assumed Levi would be home, but he wasn’t working at Montague Enterprises anymore so….
“He’s not here,” Conner states. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe.
“I can see that.”
“He’s at his mom’s house. He’s moving in with her.”
Brows raising, I try to peek around his massive frame, but can’t see into their apartment.
“Oh.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“What question?” I murmur, trying, and failing, to maintain eye contact with him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to ask Levi something.”
“And what’s that?”
It’s not any of his business. I know this, and I’m pretty sure he knows this too, but a small part of me is too much of a people pleaser to voice that fact out loud.
Instead, I clear my throat, roll my shoulders back, and look him straight in the eye. “I wanted to know why he turned down the job.”
“He what?” Conner’s voice almost cracks in surprise.
Interesting. Apparently, Levi’s been keeping more secrets.
Lifting my thumb over my shoulder while not really caring I just divulged a piece of precious information to the enemy, I mutter, “I should go.”
“Wait.”
I pause in my retreat then look him straight in the eye. “What do you want, Conner?”
He’s still on my shit list. Mainly because he left out a crucial detail during the grand opening. He failed to mention that Levi backed out of the deal. I’m not sure if it would’ve changed the outcome between me and Levi, but still. He’s not as much of a victim as he’s portraying himself to be, and it pisses me off.
“I want you to tell me how you know Levi got the job offer, and why he would turn it down.”
Mirroring him, I cross my arms and give him a glare. “I don’t know why he turned it down. If I did, I wouldn’t be standing here in front of your door now, would I?”
“Why are you pissed at me?” he asks defensively.
“First of all, you’re just as pissed as I am. Don’t even bother to deny it. Second, I know what happened. I know that you didn’t tell me the whole truth. I know that Levi backed out before you gave your presentation. I know that you probably tried to salvage it, but you still knew you weren’t going to be able to compete with Levi. I know that you were the one who approached him and planted the idea of whoring me out to you.”
He flinches back a few inches as if I’ve physically assaulted him. With a deliberate shake of his head, he replies, “Don’t put all this on me, Charlie. I liked you, okay? I genuinely liked you. Yeah, I felt like I was drowning at Montague Enterprises, and I wanted to throw in the towel. And yeah, I’m the one who approached Levi in the first place. But it wasn’t because I was only interested in getting in your pants, okay? I wanted a real chance, and I thought he could convince you to give it to me. Little did I know, you didn’t push me aside because I was an ass to you when we were little. Hell, you didn’t do it because you were innocent and scared of having a real relationship like Levi assumed. You pushed me aside because you were in love with your best friend, who never thought about you the way you thought about him until I came along. Am I right?”
My face reddens, a fresh wave of anger bubbling beneath the surface.
But still, he pushes me. “Say it, Charlie. Admit that you’re in love with someone who never saw you as anything more than a friend until he finally realized you were going to slip through his fingers.”
“Fine! You’re right! Okay? You’re right. I’ve been in love with Levi McCoy for as long as I can remember. Yet, he was willing to push me into someone else’s arms in hopes of getting a job.” Chest heaving, I shove my hair away from my face and turn to leave before I run into a brick wall. Or at least it felt like one until the familiar scent washes over me.
A strong set of arms wrap around my tiny frame, pulling me tight as a soft sob slips out of my lips.
“Shhh…,” Levi croons. “It’s okay.”
I shake my head against his broad chest and fight back the cries of frustration and hurt that are begging to be released.
“It’s not okay,” I choke out before grabbing onto his T-shirt and fisting the material in my hands. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at Conner. I’m mad at myself for being a coward for so many years. Why did I never tell him how I felt? Why did I wait for some screwed up situation like this before I finally took the leap and pursued something with him? Why did he betray me? Why does it not seem to matter anymore? I don’t even care about the stupid agreement. Yes, it was a mistake, but my relationship with Levi? How could that ever be wrong? All I want is Levi, and he’s right here. He’s within reach. Hell, he’s holding me, yet I still can’t get out of my head long enough to say, I love you, Levi. I freaking love you. I want you. I want you to want me. I want you to take the job, and I want you to live your happily-ever-after with me by your side. What the hell is stopping me? Why can’t I just tell him that?
I don’t know how long he holds me, or when Conner closed the door to his apartment to give us some privacy. But I do know that the sound of his steady heartbeat thrumming against my ear is the only thing that grounds me, and as I focus on the familiar rhythm, my frantic breathing evens out, and my tears slowly cease.
“I’m sorry, Charlie,” Levi murmurs. “I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been trying to call—”
“I know,” I interrupt him. “I wasn’t ready.”
He tightens his hold around me. “I know. And even with a few nights of sleep to reset, I had a hunch you still wouldn’t be able to talk to me, but I had to try.” His voice is low, but there’s a soft note of teasing that brings a fresh wave of tears to my eyes.
Stupid Levi, knowing me all too well.
After a few seconds, he asks, “What are you doing here, Charlie?” The question is quiet and lacks the venom that Conner had used from only moments before.
“I ran into Alexandra,” I whisper, clinging to him. “She told me you didn’t take the job.”
There’s a beat of silence before he admits, “I couldn’t. Not when I knew how badly I screwed things up with you to get it.”
Taking a deep breath, I burrow further into his warm embrace, positive I’ll never have the courage to look him in the eye ever again. Still, I need answers. “Alexandra said you tried to break the deal off with Conner.”
“It doesn’t matter. I still agreed to the whole thing in the first place. That doesn’t make it any better. And then I was a coward and kept it from you. I’m so sorry, Charlie. I’d do anything to take it back, I swear.”
“I know.”
“Can you please forgive me?” he begs. “I know I don’t deser
ve it. I know that I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but—”
“I forgive you,” I whisper, my voice cracking at the end.
“I don’t deserve it,” he reiterates.
“Probably not,” I tease before nuzzling more comfortably into his chest. The warm cotton from his shirt, combined with his unique smell, acts like a ray of sunshine peeking through a haze of dark clouds. And I kind of hate how easily it breaks through my defenses.
Removing his hand from behind my waist, Levi presses his palm against the side of my face, encouraging me to look at him.
“Can I ask you something?” he murmurs.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep, shaky breath then pull away from the comfort of his chest and peek up at him.
“What?” I breathe.
“Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you’ve loved me since you were a little kid?”
I could laugh it off. I could say I was joking or that I loved him like a childhood crush. I could say a lot of things. But I don’t. Because they wouldn’t be the truth, and I’m done locking up these feelings. That tactic never did me any good, anyway.
Instead, I dip my chin once in a single nod while holding his curious gaze. “I’ve always loved you. Conner was right. I’ve never given anyone a chance because someone already owned me. You just didn’t know it.”
Pressing his forehead against mine, he rumbles, “I’m sorry, babe. I screwed up and sabotaged us. You’re my everything, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I love you, Charlie, and I’m sorry I took so long to figure it out.”
“Me too.”