We discussed the sit-ins. He had taken part in them, and in the bus boycott. I told him what I had seen in New Orleans. He had been there. He had expected what I was shocked at.
Finally we spoke of Martin Luther King and his teaching of passive but unrelenting resistance.
"It's too slow," he said. "It will take too long."
"There's improvement, there's constant improvement. Gandhi proved it's the only weapon that can win against violence."
"I know all that. I've studied it. The gains are drops of water and time is passing. I want it faster, I want action--action now."
"That might defeat the whole thing."
"I might be an old man before I'm a man at all. I might be dead before."
"That's true. And Gandhi's dead. Are there many like you who want action?"
"Yes. I mean, some--I mean, I don't know how many."
We talked of many things then. He was a passionate and articulate young man with anxiety and fierceness just below the surface. But when I dropped him in Montgomery he leaned through the window of the cab and he laughed. "I'm ashamed," he said. "It's just selfishness. But I want to see it--me--not dead. Here! Me! I want to see it--soon." And then he swung around and wiped his eyes with his hand and he walked quickly away.
With all the polls and opinion posts, with newspapers more opinion than news so that we no longer know one from the other, I want to be very clear about one thing. I have not intended to present, nor do I think I have presented, any kind of cross-section so that a reader can say, "He thinks he has presented a true picture of the South." I don't. I've only told what a few people said to me and what I saw. I don't know whether they were typical or whether any conclusion can be drawn. But I do know it is a troubled place and a people caught in a jam. And I know that the solution when it arrives will not be easy or simple. I feel with Monsieur Ci Git that the end is not in question. It's the means--the dreadful uncertainty of the means.
In the beginning of this record I tried to explore the nature of journeys, how they are things in themselves, each one an individual and no two alike. I speculated with a kind of wonder on the strength of the individuality of journeys and stopped on the postulate that people don't take trips--trips take people. That discussion, however, did not go into the life span of journeys. This seems to be variable and unpredictable. Who has not known a journey to be over and dead before the traveler returns? The reverse is also true: many a trip continues long after movement in time and space have ceased. I remember a man in Salinas who in his middle years traveled to Honolulu and back, and that journey continued for the rest of his life. We could watch him in his rocking chair on his front porch, his eyes squinted, half-closed, endlessly traveling to Honolulu.
My own journey started long before I left, and was over before I returned. I know exactly where and when it was over. Near Abingdon, in the dog-leg of Virginia, at four o'clock of a windy afternoon, without warning or good-by or kiss my foot, my journey went away and left me stranded far from home. I tried to call it back, to catch it up--a foolish and hopeless matter, because it was definitely and permanently over and finished. The road became an endless stone ribbon, the hills obstructions, the trees green blurs, the people simply moving figures with heads but no faces. All the food along the way tasted like soup, even the soup. My bed was unmade. I slipped into it for naps at long uneven intervals. My stove was unlighted and a loaf of bread gathered mold in my cupboard. The miles rolled under me unacknowledged. I know it was cold, but I didn't feel it; I know the countryside must have been beautiful, but I didn't see it. I bulldozed blindly through West Virginia, plunged into Pennsylvania, and grooved Rocinante to the great wide turnpike. There was no night, no day, no distance. I must have stopped to fill my gas tank, to walk and feed Charley, to eat, to telephone, but I don't remember any of it.
It is very strange. Up to Abingdon, Virginia, I can reel back the trip like film. I have almost total recall, every face is there, every hill and tree and color, and sound of speech and small scenes ready to replay themselves in my memory. After Abingdon--nothing. The way was a gray, timeless, eventless tunnel, but at the end of it was the one shining reality--my own wife, my own house in my own street, my own bed. It was all there, and I lumbered my way toward it. Rocinante could be fleet, but I had not driven her fast. Now she leaped under my heavy relentless foot, and the wind shrieked around the corners of the house. If you think I am indulging in fantasy about the trip, how can you explain that Charley knew it was over too? He at least is no dreamer, no coiner of moods. He went to sleep with his head in my lap, never looked out the window, never said "Ftt," never urged me to a turnout. He carried out his functions like a sleepwalker, ignored whole rows of garbage cans. If that doesn't prove the truth of my statement, nothing can.
New Jersey was another turnpike. My body was in a nerveless, tireless vacuum. The increasing river of traffic for New York carried me along, and suddenly there was the welcoming maw of the Holland Tunnel and at the other end home.
A policeman waved me out of the snake of traffic and flagged me to a stop. "You can't go through the tunnel with that butane," he said.
"But officer, it's turned off."
"Doesn't matter. It's the law. Can't take gas into the tunnel."
And suddenly I fell apart, collapsed into a jelly of weariness. "But I want to get home," I wailed. "How am I going to get home?"
He was very kind to me, and patient too. Maybe he had a home somewhere. "You can go up and take the George Washington Bridge, or you can take a ferry."
It was rush hour, but the gentle-hearted policeman must have seen a potential maniac in me. He held back the savage traffic and got me through and directed me with great care. I think he was strongly tempted to drive me home.
Magically I was on the Hoboken ferry and then ashore, far downtown with the daily panic rush of commuters leaping and running and dodging in front, obeying no signals. Every evening is Pamplona in lower New York. I made a turn and then another, entered a one-way street the wrong way and had to back out, got boxed in the middle of a crossing by a swirling rapids of turning people.
Suddenly I pulled to the curb in a no-parking area, cut my motor, and leaned back in the seat and laughed, and I couldn't stop. My hands and arms and shoulders were shaking with road jitters.
An old-fashioned cop with a fine red face and a frosty blue eye leaned in toward me. "What's the matter with you, Mac, drunk?" he asked.
I said, "Officer, I've driven this thing all over the country--mountains, plains, deserts. And now I'm back in my own town, where I live--and I'm lost."
He grinned happily. "Think nothing of it, Mac," he said. "I got lost in Brooklyn only Saturday. Now where is it you were wanting to go?"
And that's how the traveler came home again.
AVAILABLE FROM VIKING
The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights
Foreword by Christopher Paolini
Steinbeck's only work of fantasy literature--a modern retelling
of the legendary Arthurian tales. ISBN 978-0-670-01824-6
READ MORE JOHN STEINBECK IN PENGUIN
Cannery Row
Steinbeck's tough but loving portrait evokes the lives of Monterey's vital laboring class and their emotional triumph over the bleak existence of life in Cannery Row.
ISBN 978-0-14-017738-1
Of Mice and Men
A parable about commitment, loneliness, hope, and loss, Of Mice and Men remains one of America's most widely read and beloved novels. ISBN 978-0-14-017739-8
The Pearl
The diver Kino believes that his discovery of a beautiful pearl means the promise of a better life for his impoverished family. His fall from innocence is one of Steinbeck's most moving stories about the American dream.
ISBN 978-0-14-017737-4
The Red Pony
This cycle of coming-of-age stories tells of a spirited adolescent boy whose encounters with birth and death teach him about loss and profound emptines
s, instead of giving him the more conventional hero's pragmatic "maturity."
ISBN 978-0-14-017736-7
Tortilla Flat
Adopting the structure and themes of the Arthurian legend, Steinbeck created a "Camelot" on a shabby hillside above Monterey on the California coast and peopled it with a colorful band of knights. As Steinbeck chronicles their thoughts and emotions, temptations and lusts, he spins a tale as compelling, and ultimately as touched by sorrow, as the famous legends of the Round Table. ISBN 978-0-14-004240-5
Travels with Charley in Search of America
In September 1960, Steinbeck and his poodle, Charley, embarked on a journey across America. A picaresque tale, this chronicle of their trip meanders along scenic backroads and speeds along anonymous superhighways, moving from small towns to growing cities to glorious wilderness oases.
ISBN 978-0-14005320-3
READ MORE JOHN STEINBECK IN PENGUIN CLASSICS
America and Americans and Selected Nonfiction
Edited by Jackson J. Benson and Susan Shillinglaw This original new collection brings together for the first time more than fifty of Steinbeck's finest essays and journalistic pieces, along with the complete text of his last-published and long-out-of-print America and Americans.
ISBN 978-0-14-243741-4
Burning Bright: A Play in Story Form
Introduction by John Ditsky
Written as a play in story form, this novel traces the story of a man ignorant of his own sterility, a wife who commits adultery to give her husband a child, the father of that child, and the outsider whose actions affect them all.
ISBN 978-0-14-303944-0
East of Eden
Introduction by David Wyatt
The masterpiece of Steinbeck's later years, East of Eden is the powerful and vastly ambitious novel that is both family saga and a modern retelling of the book of Genesis.
ISBN 978-0-14-018639-0
The Grapes of Wrath
Introduction by Robert DeMott This Pulitzer Prize-winning epic of the Great Depression follows the western movement of one family and a nation in search of work and human dignity.
ISBN 978-0-14-303943-3
In Dubious Battle
Introduction by Warren French
This powerful social novel, set in the California apple country, is a story of labor unrest in the migrant community and the search for identity of its protagonist, young Jim Nolan.
ISBN 978-0-14-303963-1
The Log from the Sea of Cortez
Introduction by Richard Astro
This exciting day-by-day account of Steinbeck's trip to the Gulf of California with biologist Ed Ricketts, drawn from the longer Sea of Cortez, is a wonderful combination of science, philosophy, and high-spirited adventure.
ISBN 978-0-14-018744-1
The Long Valley
Introduction by John H. Timmerman First published in 1938, this collection of stories set in the rich farmland of Salinas Valley includes the O. Henry Prize-winning story "The Murder," as well as one of Steinbeck's most famous short works, "The Snake."
ISBN 978-0-14-018745-8
The Moon Is Down
Introduction by Donald V. Coers In this masterful tale set in Norway during World War II, Steinbeck explores the effects of invasion on both the conquered and the conquerors. As he delves into the emotions of the German commander and the Norwegian traitor, and depicts the spirited patriotism of the Norwegian underground, Steinbeck uncovers profound, often unsettling truths about war--and about human nature. ISBN 978-0-14-018746-5
Once There Was a War
Introduction by Mark Bowden
Steinbeck's dispatches filed from the front lines during World War II vividly evoke the human side of the war.
ISBN 978-0-14-310479-7
The Pastures of Heaven
Introduction by James Nagel
Each of these interconnected tales is devoted to a family living in a fertile valley on the outskirts of Monterey, California, and the effects, either intentional or unwitting, that one family has on all of them. ISBN 978-0-14-018748-9
A Russian Journal Introduction by Susan Shillinglaw; Photographs by Robert Capa First published in 1948, A Russian Journal is a remarkable memoir and unique historical document that records the writer and acclaimed war photographer's journey through Cold War Russia. ISBN 978-0-14-118019-9
The Short Reign of Pippin IV
Edited and Introduction by Robert E. Morsberger and Katherine Morsberger Steinbeck's only work of political satire turns the French Revolution upside down, creating the hilarious characters of the motley royal court of King Pippin.
ISBN 978-0-14-303946-4
Sweet Thursday
Returning to the scene of Cannery Row--the weedy lots and junk heaps and flophouses of Monterey, California--Steinbeck once more brings to life the denizens of a netherworld of laughter and tears, from Fauna, new headmistress of the local brothel, to Hazel, a bum whose mother must have wanted a daughter. ISBN 978-0-14-018750-2
To a God Unknown
Introduction by Robert DeMott
Set in familiar Steinbeck territory, To a God Unknown is a mystical tale, exploring one man's attempt to control the forces of nature and, ultimately, to understand the ways of God. ISBN 978-0-14-018751-9
The Wayward Bus
Introduction by Gary Scharnhorst
In this imaginative and unsentimental chronicle of a bus traveling California's back roads, Steinbeck creates a vivid assortment of characters, all running away from their shattered dreams but hoping that they are running toward the promise of a future. ISBN 978-0-14-243787-2
The Winter of Our Discontent
Ethan Hawley works as a clerk in the grocery store owned by an Italian immigrant. His wife is restless, and his teenaged children are hungry for the tantalizing material comforts he cannot provide. Then one day, in a moment of moral crisis, Ethan decides to take a holiday from his own scrupulous standards. ISBN 978-0-14-018753-3
Travels With Charley in Search of America Page 22