“Not to fit in, but to prove that even when I play by the rules, I still stand out in the current system,” I explained. This satisfied both of them.
“The press scours public confessions for story ideas,” says Enzo while he, Tiago, and I scan the view through La Espiral’s window. “Yours will be breaking news.”
“Can someone come with me?” I ask, not for the first time.
“No,” says Enzo. “Only direct bloodline can access the same confessional.”
I work hard not to look at Cata. “You mean like a cousin?”
“Too far removed,” says Enzo, his gaze still locked on the view. “But say you and Tiago had a child, the three of you would be able to enter together.”
“Thank you for that awkward example,” says Laura, her hands pressed to the ship. I look over her head at Tiago to exchange glances, but his attention is rapt on the view—or his thoughts.
Blackness bleeds from the atmosphere until we’re navigating through the clear ocean. “Cata and Saysa will escort you to the entrance,” says Zaybet. She insisted I pull on her silver Marina cloak so I’m not recognized. “When you’re finished, use your horario to let us know.”
I nod, my mouth too dry to form words.
A massive wall of earth rises up from the seafloor. The base of the mountain extends as far as I can see, and as we get closer, I spy pore-like openings in the dirt. The shell-ship suctions onto one of them.
“I’ll walk you out,” says Tiago, taking my hand.
Zaybet, Laura, and Enzo stay behind, while my friends and I pad down the tongue-like hall to the exit. Cata and Saysa disembark first to give Tiago and me a minute.
“You sure about this?” he asks.
I nod since my jaw is locked.
A softness comes over his gaze, and he says, “Manu, I … adore you.”
The word strikes my heart like an arrow. Yet before I can say it back, a frown of dissatisfaction comes over Tiago’s features. Like saying it out loud felt wrong.
But adore barely scrapes the surface of what I feel for him.
Cata knocks on the ship wall, and Tiago presses his lips to mine before nudging me out.
I join Cata and Saysa in a dirt passage that spills into a cavernous underground where a long line of Septimus are spaced out along a curving and unending rocky wall. We walk around the line in silence, and I notice that some Septimus have come alone, while others seem to need the support of family and friends.
The atmosphere is tense enough that no one gives us a second look. We’re not the only ones worried about being identified—everyone here is wearing some kind of hood or veil or hat. I guess shame is a great equalizer.
The ground trembles, and I flash to my nightmares of the stone mountain as a fissure cracks down the wall, right in front of a group of teens.
Rather than look alarmed, they all take turns hugging one of the guys. As the fissure in the mountain expands into a gap just large enough for one person, the guy’s chest heaves a few times, then he steps inside.
The rockface seals behind him.
From the ticked-off expressions and loud complaints of some of the other groups gathered here, individual wait times seem to vary.
“Tiago looked upset,” murmurs Cata while we walk in search of a large enough open stretch of wall. Argentines have no sense of personal space aboveground, but down here, each group is very socially distanced.
“Everything okay?” she prods.
“I have no clue,” I admit, relieved to have something else to think about. “A week ago, he kept insisting how he really, really likes me, and just now he said he adores me—but right after, his face changed. Like he didn’t feel it.”
Like he’s trying to convince himself, I don’t say out loud. Maybe he’s finally realized he’s given up too much for me.
“You know what he’s trying to say, don’t you?” asks Cata.
“No.”
Saysa chuckles. “No te hagas la boluda.”
Did she just tell me to stop playing dumb? “If Tiago said anything to you—”
Cata tugs on my arm, and for a moment I think she’s seen a Cazador. But she just stares into me with her unflappable pink gaze.
“You’re serious,” she mutters, shaking her head. “You two really are made for each other.”
Saysa snorts. “Smart with books, dumb with life.”
I spot an empty swath of wall and dart over before anyone else takes it. Clearly Cata and Saysa aren’t in the mood to be helpful—
The rockface trembles.
My friends have barely caught up to me when a fissure cracks down the stone. Everyone turns to stare, but it’s not the same mild interest the teen guy got. The crowd watching me looks indignant.
“¿Qué sucede?”
“¡Recién llegó!”
They don’t think it’s fair that I barely had to wait. “Go,” urges Saysa, wrenching me into a quick hug. “You got this.”
Her warmth makes me hope she’s not altogether indifferent to our conversation from yesterday. Cata whispers her own encouragement next, as she shoves me into the mountain.
“Don’t fuck it up.”
* * *
As soon as I step into the dim passage, the exit behind me seals off.
Again, I’m reminded of the stone mountain in Lunaris, and a chill ripples down my spine. I stare at the walls hoping my wolf-shadow will appear, and when nothing happens, I feel more alone than before.
There’s a tightening around my wrist, and I remember my horario. It’s camouflaged, but I can still feel its presence. Like a friend’s grip on my arm.
I don’t know if this does anything, but I cup my hand around it, hoping it’s like a hug.
The air down here isn’t earthy and musty, but crisp and cool, like air conditioning. The passage ahead seems to be unending, and after a while, I get bored of walking, so I break into a run. The speed is exhilarating, and I let myself go until I start to transform.
A silent scream parts my lips as my bones elongate, my hair thickens, my edges sharpen—and when I shift into a lobizona, a light materializes ahead, and I leap into a bright, open space.
I land on my feet, knees bent, claws at the ready, as I behold … a recording studio.
There’s a couch facing a large mirror, which by now I know to be a camera. Yet the mirror is completely dark. There’s a red button beside it that I assume I must hit to begin.
Off to the side, there’s a smaller area with a bathroom and a large vanity full of products and accessories, plus a rack of fresh clothes. I pull off Zaybet’s cloak and set it on the couch. Then I feel a tug in my uterus.
Pain rips through my body as my bones shrink, my fangs and claws recede, my hair thins out, until at last, I’m human-sized again.
Only I’m no longer alone. Someone else arrived while I was transforming.
Someone with an unmistakable almond scent.
“¿Mami?”
20
She doesn’t answer. Tears flood my eyes as a sob bubbles up my throat, and a single syllable gurgles out of me. “¿Ma?”
I can’t believe it. She’s here and she’s safe and she’s in front of me.
I know Gael is behind her, but I can’t pull away from my mother’s brown eyes. They’re glazed like she’s in deep shock. She hasn’t even blinked.
Because she just saw me as a lobizona.
The realization paralyzes me as much as it does her. I keep still so I won’t frighten her any more than I already have. What if she runs? What if she’s disgusted? What if she—?
Ma rushes forward and pulls me into her now-bony arms. Cries erupt from both of us as we clutch each other close. I press my nose to her neck, breathing her in, and she holds me there the way she used to, until I’m safe again.
“Te quiero tanto, Mami,” I say into her ear, her shoulders shaking from the force of her sobs. I love you so much.
“Mi nena, mi nena hermosa,” she moans, rocking me back and forth. My girl, my
beautiful girl.
“Did he—tell you—?”
“Everything,” she says, reaching up and taking my face in her hands, her puffy, watery eyes studying me. “Now I want to hear it from you.”
I lead Ma to the couch, and we sit so close, we’re sharing a cushion. Then I tell her all about taking the trip to El Laberinto in the bed of Nacho’s truck, discovering the Septimus, making friends. Throughout the whole thing, she keeps her expression neutral, like a seasoned card player.
It’s strangely easier telling Ma about discovering I’m a lobizona than describing my relationship with Tiago. It’s at this point in the story that her poker face cracks. “I thought you’d told me everything,” she says, grilling Gael with her stare. “Did you know about this Tiago character?”
“He has a good heart. You don’t have to worry about him.”
I still haven’t taken my eyes off Ma, not because I’m avoiding Gael, but because I’m afraid if I look away, she’ll disappear. But I’ve noticed my father has yet to step in from the doorway.
Once I’ve finished my story, my shoulders sink in relief that it’s over. And yet, the way Ma’s looking at me, it’s as if she’s seeing a stranger. It’s the same way she seemed to me when I saw her in those blue nurse’s scrubs at Doña Rosa a million moons ago.
“I thought I told you to listen to Perla.”
The emotion dries from her voice as a more familiar Ma comes out. Even though she just saw me transform from a werewolf, her main gripe is I disobeyed her order.
“What were you thinking following some stranger into the Everglades? What if he killed you, and people thought I didn’t teach you better?”
I blink.
Then Ma and I burst into our cackling laughs. The ones reserved for late-night shit-talking and old episodes of El Chavo del Ocho. Even Gael chuckles, and I look at him for the first time. He seems a bit diminished in our presence.
“I’m so proud of you, Manu,” says Ma, making me want to cry again.
“How have you been?” I ask, eager to hear her tale. I hold Ma’s hands in front of me as I examine her. Other than having dropped at least ten pounds, she looks whole. I don’t see any visible injuries or scars.
“What happened at the detention center after ICE took you?”
“Gael rescued me.”
There’s an undeniable warmth that bathes her voice when she says his name, like she’s sharing a secret. She looks past me to him, and he takes a moment to join us, moving rather timidly. He’s more subdued than I’ve seen him. No snarky smirk, no challenge, no words.
He sits on the other cushion, sandwiching me. “The hardest part was locating where they were holding Soledad Azul.” He says Ma’s name like it’s an inside joke too, and neither of them suppresses their smiles.
It suddenly occurs to me that they knew each other under different names. He knew Ma by her real name.
“Then he broke me out.”
“How?” I ask.
“I snuck into the detention center the same night I returned from Lunaris,” says Gael, looking past me to Ma. “Your face when you woke up and saw me in your room … I was sure you were about to punch me.”
His gaze cuts to mine. “And that’s exactly what she did.”
Ma laughs, and I stare at her with wide eyes. “You hit him?”
“He got off easy.”
He bows his head. “Fair enough. Then we went to see Perla at Luisita’s, and I left your mom there while I checked in at El Laberinto. The Cazadores offered me a chance to clear my record if I located you—tracking is what I did best when I worked for them.”
“But how did you and Ma get to Argentina? I saw you at La Rosada like a day or two later.”
“The Cazadores have a fleet of private planes for urgent situations. They’re co-piloted by an Encendedora and an Invocadora, so we’re not detected by human radar. I had to stow your mom with the luggage.”
“Were you okay?” I ask, squeezing her hands.
“What he’s not telling you is we made the trip in just a couple of hours. I barely had time for a nap.”
“Were you able to visit your parents when you got here?”
She looks at Gael. “We decided it could be dangerous to involve them, with the Septimus so focused on our family at the moment.”
“How’s Perla?” I ask, twisting my back to Gael, a wall keeping him out.
“She’s better—and her eyesight improved! None of her doctors could believe it. She’ll probably make it into medical textbooks,” adds Ma with a laugh.
I smile, but I’m thinking of the immunity booster Saysa gave Perla when they met. Do brujas use their magic on humans often? Are the effects documented? I want to consult Gael, but now isn’t the time.
“She’s still too frail to live alone, so she moved in with Luisita,” Ma goes on. “Every time I call, they both want to be on the line, and all they do is talk over each other, so we never say anything!”
I grin, mostly at Ma’s smile, which is incandescent.
“What about Julieta from the clinic? And the woman with the baby?”
“We were all using the same public defender. She seemed good, like she knew what she was doing.” Ma’s smile grows strained. “It just happened so fast, and I was only thinking of getting to you, I didn’t—”
“We’ll help them,” I say quickly. “How did you find me here?”
I turn to Gael as he says, “When you mentioned a broadcast, I know you were coming to Juramento. Since we’re the same bloodline, it was also my best chance to bring you two together.”
It takes me a moment to register the meaning of his words.
“You—you heard what I said in el Hongo?”
He nods, once, and awkwardness sweeps through me.
“Manu,” he says in a foreign, fatherly tone I’m not familiar with, “I swear I believed I was protecting your mom by staying away. I thought disappearing was the only thing I could do for her.”
“Same as you’re doing for me?”
I can’t hold back the accusation, and I’m reassured when Ma’s hands tighten their grip, lending me her strength.
“You have no idea how much I wish I could keep you safe from the world,” he says in a choked breath, and Ma drops one of my hands to take his.
“I would give anything to go back and give you a happy home,” says Gael, scooping my free hand in his, so that the three of us are completely connected. “Both of you. I wish I knew what I was doing, but I’m just as fucked up as anyone, probably more—”
“Language.”
Ma gives Gael her no-nonsense stare, and he looks at me to see if she’s serious.
“The truth is,” says Ma, “none of us had any good choices. Maybe I was selfish to keep you.” Her gaze grows heavy as she looks at me, and something squirmy twists in my gut. “The moment I saw your eyes, I knew you didn’t belong in my world. But I didn’t want to give you up.”
“Ma, don’t,” I say, horrified at the thought of her abandoning me as a baby, and us not having each other.
“Let’s just try to make up for the time we lost,” says Gael, and something in his tone is very reminiscent of his niece when she has a plan. “The Cazadores offered to reinstate me. I’m going to request to be stationed in our Madrid manada, where I can hide you both better. What do you think? Can we give it a shot, the three of us?”
I feel the muscles of my face loosening, and my shoulders drop as my spine curves into a C. It’s like a full-body exhale, expelling air that went stale long ago.
I look at Ma, and her brown eyes are overly bright. “I’m in an apartment in Buenos Aires. We can stay there until the search for you dies down and the transfer is approved. First thing we’ll do is call Perla—she’ll be so happy to talk to you!”
The smile on my face is so outsized that it feels like it’s digging into my ears. This is all so surreal, and I’m slightly drunk on the euphoria.
A couple of months ago, I thought what I wanted most
in the world was a green card. I didn’t dream of asking for more. I had no idea I could have my family restored.
“What will I do on the full moon?” I ask Gael.
“There’s an injection that will put you in a magical coma for a few nights. Anestesia. It’s not easy to get, but I have access to it through the Cazadores.” Hope seems to beam from his every pore. “You don’t need to worry anymore. Let me step up and take care of you.”
As I’m watching him, I realize we share the same nose. Straight and not large, but still prominent.
“Buenos Aires has changed so much, Manu,” says Ma, and I twist toward her again. “I can’t wait to show it to you. The apartment has this great little balcony that overlooks a busy intersection, and you’ll love the people-watching. It’s better than anything you could’ve seen from El Retiro.”
Ma and Gael are still smiling wide, like we’re all breathing in the same euphoric air, only its effects are starting to dissipate, like Lunaris mist.
And the new vista being revealed looks all too familiar.
Miami, Buenos Aires, Madrid—it’s all the same because I’ll be confined indoors. No friends, no school, no photos, no social life. Just watching telenovelas with Ma, waiting for Gael to come home with news, and hiding behind my sunglasses.
Turns out the stone mountain wasn’t the scariest thing I’d ever dreamt as a human.
The true nightmare was waking up.
“I’ve lived that life.”
When I realize I said the words out loud, I think I might throw up. “I mean, I didn’t—”
I clear my throat and try again. “I don’t mean—”
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t take the words back. I can’t lie to Ma. So instead, I squeeze her hand and stare into her frozen face in a desperate hope she understands. “I outgrew it.”
She blinks a few times, and tears spray the air. “W-what are you saying?”
“I’m alive, Ma.” I bite my inner lip to keep my chin from trembling. “Thanks to you.” Tears spill down my face. “You got me here. You kept me safe from werewolves and witches and ICE. In the story of my life, you’re the superhero.”
Ma’s soft sobs fill the room, and I would give anything to stop here. To be the obedient girl Ma used to know, who always did as she was told. But when I try to summon that Manu, I don’t know her anymore.
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