It sure felt like it was, though.
Maybe I’d be able to grab him fast enough. We had to find out at some point, so no time like the present . . .
I lifted one finger, then the next, and the next, until I’d let go. I didn’t move my hand very far away, hovering it over his wrist as he clutched my hand a little tighter than before. Neither of us spoke a word as we stared into each other’s eyes, searching for a clue. I couldn’t bear to look at his wrist. I focused on his face.
When nothing happened, we both looked down at the same time. His hand was firmly around my wrist, mine clearly not touching his. It seemed to work.
“Looks like you’ll survive for a little longer, then.”
I didn’t think he could hear how hard my heart pounded. I tried to keep my breath regulated, nice and even, act cool, like it was nothing. Even though it irritated me that he was right again. But this would help us—we wouldn’t have just one way to hold each other. It would open more options for when we searched for Donovan.
“I guess you’re stuck with me.” Gus chuckled at his own joke and then peered sidelong at me. “So, now we know that works. Where do we go from here?”
That was the big question I didn’t have an answer for. We’d lost Donovan in the crowd, it seemed, but I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something strange about that.
An older woman in a pink sweater pushed a cart full of books near our table. She stopped and set some books down next to me then rearranged some others on the cart, before she continued down an aisle out of view, never knowing we were there. She seemed so content going about her chores.
I reached over and rubbed the cover of one of the texts she’d left behind. Then snatched my hand back realizing I’d let my arm slip into corporeal form to do it. That would have disrupted the silence if anyone had noticed.
Gus huffed and met my gaze. “Neat trick.”
I’d have to be more careful. Not to mention I shouldn’t waste my energy like that. I shook my head and returned my thoughts to Donovan.
If I’d been a normal human standing in a regular world, I might believe we’d lost him. But I wasn’t. I was a Valkyrie in ethereal form, with the spirit I’d just ripped out of a man’s body holding onto my arm. That made things a little different.
Something told me that Donovan hadn’t disappeared into the crowd—he’d disappeared altogether. He wasn’t a Valkyrie, he wasn’t from Valhalla, and he wasn’t human. So who was he? That was the question we needed to answer.
“I really don’t know where to go,” I replied.
“You said the last time you saw him, he was at a coffeehouse, right?”
I arched an eyebrow at him. He knew what I’d said, why say it again?
“All right, let’s say he distracted you. What would be the point of that? Who was the guy you were ordered to grab that day? Could this Donovan have been trying to keep you from finding him?”
“It seems likely. But I don’t understand why. It makes no sense. When I come here, I do my duty, and no one ever knows.”
“Well, The Bayou is an unsafe area. It could be a coincidence.”
“The Bayou?”
“The area where you were. If you were at a coffeehouse, that’s where you’d have to be. No one other than those from The Bayou drink coffee.”
He’d confused me. I’d never heard of that area before. The city had changed many times since I’d first come, and a new area could have developed, but I doubted I’d missed something like that. Especially pertaining to coffee.
“That must be why the serving girl seemed offended at my order earlier. I don’t recognize the area you’re talking about, though. Where is it?”
“About ten blocks southwest of here. Closer to Little Italy.”
“That’s not where I was yesterday.” My skin pebbled, and nausea rattled my stomach. Something was wrong. “Why is it called The Bayou?”
“It’s where immigrants from Louisiana settled when they fled here during the Texas revolution. Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I’m not staring like anything.”
All this interaction needed to stop. I needed to figure out where I was, because clearly, it wasn’t the same New York I’d been to before.
“These two lines are giving you away.” Gus traced his finger along my forehead. “What’s troubling you? Besides being glued to me and losing that guy, I mean.”
“Don’t touch me—”
“You said I had to.” A glint of amusement sparkled in Gus’s eyes as the corner of his mouth twitched up.
I glared at him. I’m sure I had that wonderful look on my face that said ‘you’re a complete idiot’. Gertie frequently said I did that well.
“If you’d prefer to let go, that would solve a big portion of my troubles. I don’t think I’m where I’m supposed to be, but if that’s the case, how would Donovan have known to find me here?” I was basically talking to myself, but nothing was making any sense, anyway.
“What do you mean? Obviously, your mission, or whatever you call what you’re doing, went sideways. But you think there’s more? Where were you going, if it wasn’t here? If this is the wrong place, how did you recognize the other guy—the one who would have been with you right now?”
“You ask too many questions.” I sighed. But if he could help, it wouldn’t hurt to get another opinion.
Why hadn’t I found Gus long ago? Then I’d be leading a team to search for more heroes, instead of stuck somewhere on Midgard with no ability to go home.
“We’re told where to find our targets, when they’ll be there, and that’s it. We need no other information than that. They have an aura that marks them for us to find. It should be impossible for anyone to know we’re coming. What else did you ask?”
It was Gus’s turn to stare at me. He shook his head. “You grab these guys with little to no information? You don’t get to know them before you rip their souls out of their body?”
“It’s not like that. I’m not ripping their souls, like it’s some terrible thing.” He was making me sound like I was a demon that seduced people into a deceitful web. One who stole their options for glory and honor. I was not like that! “I’m saving them for Odin’s Army—”
I shut my eyes and clamped down on my mouth, growling at myself. He’d made me so angry and flustered that I’d blurted it out.
“Thank you. It’s what I’d already guessed, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me that.”
“Because it’s not my duty, and as you’ve noticed, I’m not that great at what they’ve trained me for. I shouldn’t say anything more.” I sighed and let my shoulders slump.
It didn’t matter now, anyway. I’d already showed him too much, and I’d let him learn far more than any other einherjar should ever know. Might as well let him know where he was going and what would be expected of him.
Gus made a motion that drew my attention, and I watched as he fiddled with the top button on his shirt. One-handed, he popped it open.
“What are you doing?”
I didn’t know where his mind was, but he needed to keep his clothes on. The last thing I needed was a half-dressed man hanging from my arm as I went searching around Midgard.
“I need to show you something. I don’t suppose you could grab hold of me so that I can use two hands?”
“Whatever you want to show me, you can do so with your clothes on.”
Only a few people strolled through the library, and we sat in a tucked away corner, invisible to human eyes, but it still seemed awkward for him to undress in the middle of a communal place.
He gave me a wry grin. “Don’t get so excited, I’m not just trying to show you my amazing muscles. Grab hold of my leg, let’s see if that’s enough contact.”
Bossy.
I clenched my teeth and huffed when I realized that I’d followed his direction without thinking about it. What was happening? I defied the rules of those I cared about, yet here I was comply
ing with my assignment like he was in charge.
Gus slowly lifted his fingers from my wrist, watching to see if my hand on his thigh was enough to keep him from slipping away. When it proved to be a solid connection, he hurried with the rest of the buttons on his shirt.
He slipped the garment down to his waist, exposing a white, sleeveless undershirt beneath the starched blue uniform. There were also strong shoulders, and a broad, toned chest that I tried very hard, and unsuccessfully, to ignore.
I caught the smug little curl at the corner of his mouth, and scowled at him.
“Look at my arm,” Gus said in a gentle voice.
His tone calmed some of my frustration, and I slid my gaze to the corner of my eyes. What I saw made me snap toward his arm in a full out stare.
Beyond the curves and grooves that reflected hours in the gym, were the swirls and lines of intricate tattoos. They decorated the top of his shoulder down to just above his wrist in symbols, letters, and art. I recognized many of them. They were Nordic runes and excerpts from the sagas. Symbols of a warrior, dedicated to a life of protection and honor. There were others, too, that were similar, but I didn’t recognize them. It didn’t matter.
Gus had prepared himself. He wasn’t random. He’d dedicated his life to Valhalla long before he’d ever met me.
Not thinking before I did it, I reached out and ran my finger over a symbol.
I twisted in my seat to focus on his arm, and in doing so, I let my hand slip away from his thigh.
Faster than I’d have guessed he could move, Gus snatched my wrist and squeezed. In the blink that it took to reform our connection, I’d seen him flicker and fade. My heart hammered against my chest. The shock rattled my body, and it was painful. Not a sword-sliced-into-my-bicep pain, but the heart-clenching, lose-a-friend sort of pain.
That was new.
Gus’s stare bored into me. The muscles in his jaw popped up and down as fire blazed in his eyes. “Be careful,” he growled between his teeth.
“Did you . . . feel that?”
It was so quick, it couldn’t have done anything to him. I hoped.
“Yes, and I’d rather not experience that again if you don’t mind.” His eyes were once more a calm, icy blue, and he sat back a little as he relaxed. “The slipping away, I mean, not your touch. You can do that again, if you’d like.”
Obviously, he had no residual ill effects from the experience and was back to his controlled self. There was no way I was touching him now. But I wanted to know more.
I snorted and looked away. “Get over yourself. Why do you have these? A lot of guys have tattoos, but there’s always some cute little dragon, or fancy skull, or some other picture they asked for one night after a party. Not yours. Those are all warrior symbols.”
“I told you—I’ve prepared for my afterlife. I’ve known since I was a kid there was a bigger truth than the life we live here. Something drew me to it.”
How was it that someone like Gus, ready, prepared, and able to fight for Odin, hadn’t been my target all along? As I sat there and thought it over, watching as I returned my hand to his thigh so he could put his shirt back on—sadly—it hit me.
He would have made it to Valhalla, but it wasn’t his time.
Absently, I rubbed my medallion where it rested under my leathers. What would happen on Midgard now, without his presence? Would others suffer because I’d taken him too soon? Not once in all the time I’d reaped souls had I ever thought about those I chose. Their life on Midgard wasn’t my concern, only the honor of their duty to Valhalla. Everything else was unimportant.
Though, it used to be easier to find warriors. Men offered prayers before a battle, they dedicated themselves every day to their faith. They desired to prove themselves worthy.
I remembered hanging around the induction building when I was small, before I could begin my training, and had nothing to do. I’d see the men arrive with grins on their faces, cheering.
As I thought about it, I realized that still happened when the other Valkyries brought back their chosen. I didn’t always arrive at the same time as someone else, but when I did, their warriors were eager and ready for battle.
Those I brought, even when I’d followed the rules and found my assigned target, were wide-eyed and scared. If they didn’t cry or fight me, the transition dazed and frightened them. They wore clothes more like Gus. How long ago had they stopped wearing tunics and swords? I’d lost track.
Why were mine different?
Gertie always shook her head at me and told me I said the strangest things when I mentioned what I’d seen on Midgard. It was like she didn’t notice the changes, and I’d never understood that.
Something was wrong. Somehow, there was more going on than just my lack of ability to follow a command. My assignments were different. The Midgard I came to changed over time as I kept coming back—this time, more than ever.
Maybe finding my target from Stuart’s fight would provide more information. There were too many odd circumstances.
“We can talk more about all of that,” I waved my hand up and down in front of Gus’s arm, “but there’s more going on here than just some guy following me around. We need to find someone and ask him some questions.”
Gus smiled. “Let’s go.” He slid his palm under my hand still resting on his leg and laced his fingers through mine.
He was too comfortable with this, or maybe I was. Either way, I needed to move and clear my head of images of tattoos and muscles.
I stood up quickly, my chair sliding back and making a loud grating sound against the wooden floor. My breathing was back to normal, though the headache was worse, but I could handle that. It was time to find some answers.
12
I didn’t know where to go, I just needed to get moving. Stuart had said he’d met Donovan in his gym, so that might be a good place to start. We’d go to where I picked up Stuart, and look around from there.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember where the street was, and everything looked different. When we’d passed the same child’s clothing store for the second time, Gus pulled me to a stop.
“Give me more details of what the street looked like. I realize we’re not in a huge time crunch here, but let me help. I know this city.”
My heart was pounding harder than it should after only a few blocks of walking. We might be in a bigger hurry than Gus knew.
“The coffee shop had a goat on the sign . . . ” How was that all I remembered? My head hurt.
“I think I know a place like that. You were definitely in The Bayou.”
“That doesn’t sound familiar, but . . . this is confusing.”
“Let’s go check it out and see if it jogs your memory. Anything else you remember would be helpful, so shout out if something looks familiar.” Gus tugged on my hand and led the way down the street.
I didn’t know how to assess this guy. He gripped my hand, making sure we didn’t get separated, but he strolled so relaxed in an ethereal form, leading me to our destination as if it was a regular occurrence. This wasn’t even regular for me.
“Are you feeling all right?” he asked. “You haven’t made a single comment about how I’m being bossy, or you don’t need my help. And you’re a half step behind me. I know we just met, but that doesn’t seem like you.”
He needed to stop being so observant.
“I’m fine, let’s just get where we’re going. How much farther?”
“It’s about two blocks. Anything looking familiar?”
“Everything is blurring together. If I was in a corporeal body, I’d think I needed to eat. I’m feeling a little tired.”
Gus stopped and faced me, making me almost run into him.
“Why did you stop?” My tone was abrupt, I knew, but we needed to keep moving.
“There’s something wrong, what is it? Aren’t you invincible in this form?”
“Been a spirit for five minutes, and now you’re an expert? Keep walking.” I nudged Gus�
��s shoulder and tipped my chin forward.
“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” He arched an eyebrow at me and clamped his mouth tight.
No one looked at me that way. Not if they wanted to keep their teeth. Who did he think he was?
“Listen, you need to help me find this place and remember that I could let you float away anytime. Do as I say before I tire of babysitting.”
“Nope. Acting like a bully won’t work on me. I think you aren’t feeling well and I want to know why.”
A car zipped by close to the curb, giving me the opportunity to avert my eyes from Gus’s pinning stare. It was a black hackney with a lighted taxi sign on top. The kind I’d seen in London before. I scanned the street in both directions.
“Where are the yellow taxis?”
“Yellow? Cabs are always black,” Gus said.
“This is New York, right?” A pain pulsed behind my eyes.
“Yes, and stop trying to change the subject.”
I returned my focus to his narrowed eyes, then matched his expression with my own.
There was something wrong—very wrong—and I couldn’t figure it out.
Before I could decide how to answer Gus, a lady brushed up against my wings, breaking our stand-off staring contest and making me shudder. The woman spun and searched the air in our direction, her eyes huge.
Sometimes the living experienced a frosty chill if they felt me in ethereal form. This, along with the jolt of energy I usually felt, was reason enough for me to avoid further contact, but I wasn’t in the best of moods, and she’d irritated me.
I twisted my body to face her and stepped closer, keeping hold of Gus behind me. When my eyes were glowing, and I felt heat pulsing against my skin, I let my essence flash so that the woman could see me for a split second. It was enough to make her scream and take off running.
I chuckled and let myself relax. The air cooled my skin, and my vision returned to normal. Then everything around me spun.
I felt myself wobble, and my knees gave away, but before I hit the ground, I rose into the air, and a heady mix of cedar and lemon played havoc with my senses. I tried to flap my wings, but something trapped them.
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