by Ines Johnson
He paused in the doorway. As always she failed to note his absence or his—
"Liam," she turned. "You're back."
Liam let the door shut behind him. "You noticed I was gone?"
Merlyn cocked her head, a globe canting on its axis. "There's something different about you. Your face is flushed. Your eyes look glazed. You're lips are..." She tilted her head upright.
"What did you need, my lady?"
"I..." Merlyn continued to study him. But then shook her head, shaking off any blooming idea. "I have something to show you." She waved him over to the scope. "I added a dye to the spermatozoa that breached the war wall. I figure we can note which egg gets fertilized with each colored spermatozoa. Then when the fetus develops we'll know which sperm."
"I don't think that will be necessary."
The frown on Merlyn's mouth reminded Liam of a pouting child. Her hands on her hips pushed up her breasts. Liam almost pulled her to him then. Instead, he stepped away from her and went over to his desk in the corner.
"I found something when I was doing calculations on Darwin 152's specimen." He pulled out his notes. "It appears that there's a difference in the mass of some of his sperm. There were some sperm that were pushed deeper into the fluid of the culture than others. I looked closer at the sperm that sank, in an effort to determine why." He pointed to his numerical findings. "Do you see it?"
Merlyn regarded the paper. "I see your math, but I do not understand your conclusion."
Liam led her back to her microscope. "Tell me if some sperm have sunk lower than others."
Merlyn peered into her scope. "Yes, some are swimming lower than others."
Liam turned up the magnification on the scope. "Now, look closely at the low swimming sperm. Do you see a difference?"
He waited while she studied the specimen.
"Is that...?" Merlyn's head came back, then she leaned forward to the scope again. "I see something... extra."
"It’s an extra leg. I read in a twentieth century medical journal that the chromosomes were marked as X and Y."
The medical document was banned research from the twentieth. The only way Liam had gotten his hands on it was because Merlyn's cousin, Lady Chanyn, now volunteered in the Parchment Office of the Chamber of Records. She'd come across the documents and thought they might be of interest to Merlyn. They lay untouched on Merlyn's shelf for weeks before Liam came across them.
"I thought the X and Y were only labels," Liam continued. "But I realized it wasn't a markation."
Merlyn straightened from the scope. Her eyes brimmed with understanding.
"I think," Liam said, "the male sperm are in the shape of a Y, and female sperm are an X, which would make the female's heavier because they have an extra leg."
Merlyn's eyes went wide, her face flushed. Her breath came as short pants. Her hands trembled. "You've found it, Liam. You've done it."
The way she looked at him, as though he were the sun itself, Liam breathed in the look, committing it to memory. "No, we did it. Together."
Merlyn beamed at him. It caught his breath. He would blame his next move on the fog in his mind. Liam's head was still fogged from his time at the brothel. Fogged with thoughts and sensations he hadn't had the time to investigate. That was what made him make his move.
Liam reached out his hand. He'd never touched her before. She was softer than he imagined. He felt her warm breath on his thumb as he ran his finger across her lip.
She jerked away from him. "What are you doing?" Her eyes were as round as saucers as she looked at his hand.
Liam's joy deflated. "I... I..." he stammered.
"Was there something on my face?" Merlyn wiped at her face.
Liam took a deep breath. "Yes." He reached his hand out. Merlyn not only allowed his hands on her person, she leaned into his hand expecting him to wipe away the intrusion on her face. Liam brushed his thumb over the bottom of her lips once more.
"Liam?"
Liam stepped closer and placed his other hand on her waist. He tilted her chin up with his thumb, then snaked his whole hand around her nape.
"Liam?" Merlyn's eyes were wide once more, but she did not pull away. "Liam, what are you—"
Liam firmed his grasp and tilted her head back. Her hands came up to his chest, but she didn't push him away. For the first time in his life, he was in charge. The last thing Liam wanted to do was to go slowly or gently. But slowly, lightly, his lips descended to hers. He caught her lower lip in a gasp. He peppered light kisses at the corner of her mouth.
At first, she was stiff and still. But then it happened. She relaxed into his arms and her head moved incrementally, trying to anticipate his moves. Liam knew what to do. Jaspir had told him this, that she'd think and try to anticipate his moves. He'd learned the lesson, he knew he had. But he couldn't recall it. He had Merlyn in his arms, and she was kissing him back.
She tilted her head to the right and he mirrored her movement. She tilted her head to the left and he followed, chasing the sweetness of her. It was over far too soon.
Merlyn took a step back, taking her lips with her. She stared at him dumbfounded. That's when Liam felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Merlyn was never at a loss for words, those words usually being logical ones. She was speechless now.
He'd done it. He'd not only kissed her, he'd kissed her in a way that he knew she'd remember. Maybe he wouldn't need the rest of Jaspir's lessons after all.
The door jerked open. Liam and Merlyn sprung apart.
Lady Angyla entered.
"Mother." Merlyn found her voice. It was a wobbly voice. "Good news. We've determined a way to identify female spermatozoa."
Lady Angyla looked between the two of them. "Show me."
Merlyn took her Mother to the scope and explained Liam's findings. "It's mainly due to Liam's mathematical—"
"This is simply brilliant, Merlyn. Do you know what this does?"
"Yes," Merlyn said. "Gender selection is now a reality. We can begin to balance out the population."
"No, silly girl. This is a huge step closer to artificial insemination. Soon there will be no need for copulation at all."
Chapter Ten
The sun's rays lapped at Merlyn's cheek trying to pull her from the depths of sleep and into the dawn. Merlyn fought against the current and burrowed under her sheets. From beneath the covers, a warm hand slid behind her head. She felt each of the five fingers envelop the nape of her neck. The smallest finger crested at the tip of her ear. The thumb curved at her throat. The three fingers in the middle banded together to tilt her head up.
Merlyn went with the flow. She ceased to wonder how this was possible while she was alone in her bedroom. She went beyond a quest for understanding or data collection. She met warm lips. Her eyes were closed, which allowed the feelings and sensations to show clearly in her mind.
Warmth.
Softness.
Wetness.
Throbbing.
Need.
Her lips parted and, in her mind, a tongue seeped through, breaking the dam of desire she never knew welled inside her. Merlyn marveled at the softness of his lips and the firmness of his fingers. Her legs parted, heels digging into the mattress. But a second later, she pressed her legs together. Why were they pressing together when she wanted to open herself wide to him?
Friction.
Her legs pressed together seeking friction to relieve the tension rising inside her. Her hands reached out to bring Jaspir to her. Merlyn arched her body. Her hands reached out but came up with air.
He moaned her name. The sound crashed into her knees, which knocked together so hard her toes rang. Then she realized it wasn't Jaspir's voice, it was Liam's.
In her mind's eye, Merlyn saw Liam's red curls tangled in her fingers. Liam's pale thighs entwined with her brown legs. "We've done it," he said with a grin on his face, a gleam in his eyes.
The haze, that a moment ago clouded Merlyn's head, cleared. She sank into the depths of th
e tepid waters alongside Liam. A sense of peace, no, victory washed over her. The fingers of Liam's free hand twined with hers, linking them together. With her hand in his, Merlyn felt strong, united. She looked into his clear, capable, steady eyes. The victorious feeling in the crown of her head grew, pushing at the borders of her brain, seeking to expand. Like the waters, it did not want to be contained. Merlyn leaned her body into Liam, allowing his hand, which still held her neck, to command their course.
Liam allowed her head to fall back. Merlyn gasped as she met another set of warm lips at the nape of her neck. The lips traveled up to her ear. This time Jaspir's voice whispered to her. "I will love you every day of my life."
Merlyn's thighs scissored together seeking relief. Her body arched back to meet Jaspir's. Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. Her breath came out in pants as he continued to nibble at her ear, her throat, her cheek. Her body felt immersed in hot springs. Searing water burned her skin where his lips touched her; a branding she'd first come to know as a girl.
When Liam's mouth crushed hers once more, Merlyn felt pulled in two different directions. Liam's fingers, supporting her head as he kissed her mouth, made her feel invincible. Jaspir's hands, tracing a blazing trail from her heart southward, set her on fire.
Merlyn awoke in a tangle of sheets. She bolted straight up, panting, and looking wildly around the room. Her body was on fire, her mind awhirl. After a few moments of deep breathing, she crashed back onto the mattress.
Now that her mind was her own again, she did a mental scan of her symptoms.
Her heart raced.
She panted. She felt the uptick of her flaring nostrils.
Her palms sweat, along with other parts of her anatomy.
Nearly every system of her body was currently engaged. Jaspir had said he felt this way every time he thought of her. Merlyn now feared for his health. The body needed to maintain a level of homeostasis, stability, and equilibrium to function normally. This love situation continually caused disturbance. This love business could take a physical toll on the body.
But who were these symptoms in response to? Jaspir or Liam?
Liam's kiss was so similar to Jaspir's. He made her feel all the same things that Jaspir had. Did that mean she loved Liam now? Or did she only love Jaspir when she was with him? But that had been a dream just now. But then, she'd been dreaming of them both and experiencing the indications of love. But could you love more than once person at the same time?
Merlyn threw off the covers. She went to her closet. Her monochrome wardrobe stared back at her. In the back of the closet was a dress Alyss had gotten for her. It was a deep purple dress with white stripes along the bodice. Merlyn reached for the dress. It was completely impractical to wear in the lab.
She put it on and went to her mirror.
She looked nothing like herself. The purple complimented the earthy brown of her skin. The stripes along the bodice slimmed her waist, making her hips look curvier than they actually were. Merlyn hesitated, hands braced to pull the garment over her head.
She let the material fall back into place and headed out of the door.
Like every other morning of her life, Merlyn walked down the hallway. The pictures of the great women of science seemed to smile back at her today. If her trials proved successful, she might join them in their place of honor one day. The thought put a pep in Merlyn's step.
When she got to the lab, a flash of red hair bent over a work table stopped her in her tracks. She couldn't face Liam. Not after their kiss. Not after her dream. She turned and hurried for the front door, bypassing calls from her Mother and Grand Mother. She crossed the threshold of her home and ducked into her conveyance.
Starting the car, Merlyn wasn't sure which direction to turn. She couldn't return to the bordello where Jaspir worked. Jaspir told her not to come back. Merlyn had never been accused of being the most insightful person when it came to emotions, but she did understand why Jaspir turned her out the door.
All odds were against them. They couldn't thrive together. A discarded son and a lady of her stature. Her Mother and Grand Mother would never allow them any level of stasis. Society would be a constant disturbance. She'd never complete her work in such a state.
She should get out of the car and go back into the house. She could thrive with Liam. Together they could reach a high level of stasis. With Liam she could accomplish untold breakthroughs.
Merlyn hunched in her conveyance, and pulled away from the house. Her direction was aimless for the first ten minutes of her journey. Until she pulled up to the familiar two story home.
"Lady Chanyn is in the gardens," said the manservant, Rianald, when she was admitted inside the great house.
Merlyn made her way to the back of the house. Chanyn's gardens reminded her of the gardens of her youth, before her Grand Mother wiped out the budding flowers for practical produce. These gardens were a burst of color as far as the eye could see. Alyss, who'd never visited Chanyn's home, would love the array of color. Jaspir would love to put his hands into the dirt and study the roots.
"Merlyn." Chanyn came toward her, her smile as big as her belly. "What a lovely surprise."
Merlyn accepted Chanyn's embrace. They had been embracing for months now, but the gesture was still awkward for Merlyn. Chanyn never seemed to mind.
"What brings you here?"
"I've had a breakthrough," Merlyn said.
Chanyn smiled. "In what area of your life?"
"In my work, of course. I've made a scientific find that will change the world."
"Merlyn, that's fantastic."
Merlyn nodded her head automatically. "Mother's proud. Grand Mother is elated. If you can believe that."
"I can't imagine it." Chanyn shook her head while smiling. "I'd love to hear all about it. Let's sit outside. It’s such a beautiful day."
Merlyn hadn't noticed the weather. She was rarely outside of her lab. And when she was, she usually kept her head down, looking over her notes on a handheld, and never up towards the sky.
Merlyn looked up now and she saw a pair of birds flying together. They criss-crossed one another, dipping and twining as though in a game of tag. "Do you think animals experience the conditions of love?"
"I do," said Chanyn. "I think every living being has the capacity for love."
"I'm not certain any longer. I've always thought love was a misnomer; a label humankind gave to their biological imperatives. It’s imperative for all living creatures to acquire food, shelter, and the ability to reproduce. Humans choose to meet these imperatives in pair and group bonds. It’s not crucial to remain in that same pair or group bond to survive. Yet humans, and some animals, bond for life."
"Life is more pleasant when you spend it with those who care about you and your well-being." Chanyn ran a hand over her belly. Her hand came to rest in her lap. Her fingers rubbed the gems on her bond band.
"Perhaps." Merlyn looked down at her own bare fingers. In a matter of weeks, she'd have her own stones. "But when you look at the design of copulation, it’s entirely flawed. Did know that males send, on average, three hundred million spermatozoa, per penetrative ejaculate, into a woman's cervix in hopes of fertilizing a single egg?"
"Um, no I wasn't aware of that."
"For twenty-four days of the month, those sperm fail. It’s inefficient," said Merlyn. "The natural conclusion is that routine intercourse is a waste of time."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Chanyn reached out her hand and placed it atop Merlyn's. "Listen, Merlyn, it’s understandable if you're feeling nervous about your bonding. I know that Liam cares about you. I can see it in his eyes. But your bonding won't be for a while yet."
"It'll be in a month's time. They've found a suitable second mate."
"Oh? Is he not to your liking?"
Merlyn had never considered what she liked.
"The choice of bondmates is your own, Merlyn," Chanyn continued.
"My life's not like yours Chanyn. Everyth
ing has always been planned for me. Planned by my Mother and Grand Mother. The only choices I have are what I do in my lab, and even that has been dictated by their desires."
"What do you want?"
No one had ever asked her that question before.
Merlyn looked up at the sky. The lovebirds were long gone, far off on the horizon. No trace left of their play.
Merlyn's heart beat steadily. Her palms were dry. Her eyes narrowed as she stared into the sun. She took a deep breath, noticing that her head was as clear as the sky. Her life may have been designed by others, but options had presented themselves before. Her choice had always been to stay the course that was set before her or fail.
She could've chosen to fail. It had never occurred to her to try. She didn't want to fail. She loved her work and she wanted to excel at it.
"I want what I've always dreamed: to be a great woman of science."
Chapter Eleven
"You'll need to have the final payment in by the end of the month, otherwise you will forfeit your deposit and the land will go to the next bidder."
"Don't worry. You'll have your money," Jaspir told the land agent.
The woman looked at him with doubt, but she took his money. Men were allowed to own land, but the land was typically passed down from Mother to son.
Rarely did young lords buy land of their own. Even more rare could a discard, with no family status or connections, afford even a small parcel.
Jaspir left the land agent's offices and made the return to Stallions. When he got to the dark, one story building, he stood outside the door and stared up at it. It was the third place he'd called home. And it had been a home. He'd been accepted inside these walls. No one ever threatened to throw him out —as long as he met his quota when under contract; and later paid his monthly dues and rent.
Jaspir entered the establishment and saw Garren sitting at his concierge desk. Jaspir walked over and handed Garren notice, along with advanced payment, for his rooms until the end of the month.
Garren balked. His olive tone skin turned green as he looked down at the paper work that ended Jaspir's run at the establishment. "So, some old cougar has finally come up with the right price for the fastidious monk?"