by Amanda Churi
And with a final push, His hands closed.
There was nothing left to see.
Thirty-eight
Our Place
I watched Him work tirelessly, endlessly—it continued to fascinate me like no other, especially the black hole swirling in place of the world I once walked.
I never knew how many there were until I was here. How many worlds, that was, that had come and gone before mine. How many different “humans” had existed not just on my planet but the hundreds, the thousands before, all joined here and mingling amongst one another as though they had been neighbors. It made Earth not feel special, like none of the worlds were—and I definitely questioned why it continued to be a cycle of rinse and repeat with so many creations, but there are things that I suppose no one besides Him are supposed to know. Answers that not even a fruit can give.
I sat within the universe, watching His hands travel through the fabric of all. He grabbed stars, clouds, glittering stones and even light itself, using it to tie the growing bundle of goods together before He suddenly left, leaving the work in progress.
I knew what I had lost, but being a part of all that was around me, it left not a crack in my heart that could allow negativity and regret to creep in. I didn’t even miss them, everyone, though I felt I should; my memories felt so real that they warmed me… And I knew there had been bad, plenty of it, but those pockets were fuzzy, and I couldn’t remember the details. Yes, only the good existed to me; maybe that was why it was impossible to experience what used to be called “sadness” and its many lethal derivatives.
“And now He’s going to the void…? He’s truly lost it! This has to stop!”
The unsteady voice filled with ill-will turned my head to a small group of archangels congregating not far behind me. Only on Earth did they exist as flames; here, each had wings of a unique spread and bodies made of liquids, freeing them of race as they reflected the world. They were several times larger than us average angels, but even so, they never acted above; here, appearance aside, we were equals.
“Keep your voice down!” one scolded.
“He’s never gone there!” the rowdy one spat, hypocritically quieting his tongue. “The void literally exists to keep the universe expanding! Why would He suddenly decide to stick His hand in there now of all times?”
“One does not question God. There’s a reason for everything.”
He scoffed, his eyes darkening. “You really think that? You think what He’s got going on is fair? That He keep building and then tearing down? Were those that we killed really evil? After all, that boy Justus allowed us to come down!”
“No, he did not,” another argued. “God had His appearance planned all along and chose that as His entrance. You should know that more than anyone. You have seen far more worlds than we have.”
“And that’s why I can’t take it anymore! What is the point of this? How does one even classify what is good and bad? Right and wrong? How many more people will purposely exist just to come to fall, and unjustly so?”
“Come on…”
The archangel sharply veered his eyes down and away from those gathered. “There has to be something more than this…”
“But this is everything,” one replied.
“This is paradise!”
“Only for the ignorant,” he growled. “Satan manipulated the demons’ memories of Heaven in order to have them lead a false existence and be proud of Hell… Is God any different by taking away the bad memories of those who rise? Think of the people who loved others that went to Hell in that begotten world; is it really right to make them not able to miss them? Not able to miss sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends? I pity them… They physically don’t have the capacity to remember and think for themselves… It’s fake happiness. They aren’t free, and neither are we. His only mistake is to keep giving us the ability to realize that.”
He harshly turned and stormed off through the air, vanishing to another corner of the universe. The small gathering left behind looked uneasy, eyes shifting with questions and doubt before the crowd awkwardly dispersed.
His speech, the entire situation seemed oddly familiar, and it brought a straining uneasiness to me. It made me immediately want to divert my attention elsewhere—perhaps fall back into the meadow to watch a sunrise with Mabel and a rematch of Aponi and Ryze. Mabel had already made her bets on who was going to win, but I personally thought Ryze was improving. One of these days, he would be able to pull it off.
Existing in only happy thoughts and livable daydreams… I couldn’t ask for anything better.
I had just let go and begun my descent into my ideal Raddison when I was sucked back out, suddenly restrained and confused. I came back into focus relatively quick, and that was when my head threw itself into a bow. God held me by the back of my neck, a scruff, hanging me before His smiling face.
I wasn’t afraid of Him, I knew He would not hurt me, but to say I was worthy to even be here…
“You are more than many.”
His powerful, loving voice lifted my chin, and He smiled again. “Thank you for carrying the burden of Eero. In the end, he was able to prove himself because of you. You, of many, deserve much for helping guide my lost child and lost world home.”
I wasn’t even sure what that was supposed to mean. Had I really suffered that much? Had I really done that much?
He said nothing more, lifting me through existence and carrying me to another part of creation. I was thinking of how to respond to Him, to ask what He was talking about, but the gusts of the universe began to lull me in a pleasant breeze; eyes from all branches of angels watched as God walked above them with me in hand, but I felt more scattered and never more tired. I fought to stay awake; I saw several that I knew look at me with heightened surprise, specifically Seek, but she only smiled at me and waved.
I tried to wave back, but once my arm lifted, so did my soul.
***
I blinked hard and heavy, a golden glare digging into my eyes. It shot me upright in discomfort, and I rubbed my eyes hard, summoning spots, trying to adjust to the blinding light levels. I felt odd… Weird. Like a casing of liquid still trying to settle. What was going on…? Where was I? How did I get here?
In fact, who was I? I couldn’t seem to remember a thing—not one little detail of anything before this.
I stopped rubbing, trying to face my surroundings, to understand.
What I understood with that first long, unobstructed look was the definition of beauty.
The ledge of a sharp cliff was my point of awakening. Blankets of vibrant green grass and plates of glittering silver stone rested beneath my settling body. Prairies and forests ran wild and free as far as my eyes could travel. A bubbling river of teal green tumbled below me; platforms of beaming stone led the way across. A sky of blush encircled me, a wind of crystals and flying leaves rustling my hair. Mountain ranges stretched high and low across the smoothly sloping plains; a sun peaked just above them, branding the sky in gold which quickly transitioned to orange, pink, and then a beautiful indigo filled with shards of pure light. One, two… Five humongous circles that gave off no light were strung high above me; each planet had a different face, some with patches of blue, others built from tiles of red, but they all resembled the land that I somehow knew was mine.
“Wow…” I gripped the trunk of the tree beside me, standing for a better view. The bark was a swirl of lavenders and whites; the branches fanned out on both sides and curved in to one another. Something about that shape made my chest tingle, and almost as if I was possessed, I found my neck turning back to the overlook.
Not far from me was an eye level island, isolated by air. It was a small block of floating soil and stone, filled with curling emerald vines, squatting saplings, and a pond of iridescent roses. White ones. A thick vine connected the island and my cliff, but otherwise, it appeared to exist on its own.
I stepped closer; petite bubbles bobbing through the air popped again
st my cheeks. The glowing ground beneath the roses heaved and breathed, pushing the flowers closer to the sun and making them stand higher. Everything around me was so new and unknown, so fascinating, yet that drew me in the most.
A figure parted the ground, lifted through the soil by unseen arms and left gently in the pool of white—a body built from scars and cuts but undeniably radiant and beautiful. Her skin glowed with the flowers she began to awake from, the tumbles of her brown hair reflecting every grain of star and sunlight; her eyes of warm soil opened last, beaming up in awe at the same sky I had awoken before moments ago.
A smile of aching bliss rushed over my face. My hands touched my chest that was rampant with old, forgotten wounds, and I clenched my thumping body tight. I had no idea who she was… But I definitely wanted to find out.
I took to the vine and leaped onto it, the light air helping to carry me. Meteors of scarlet showered down over the far distant peaks; whines of air and tendrils of steam shot from their tails. They reflected my own building desire, and with a final leap, I landed amongst the silky florals. Stricken, I watched her stand, shaking the flowers from her sculpted shoulders and patting the dirt from her skin.
Her eyes suddenly found mine, and she paused. I still had yet to regain movement; she didn’t look like she was coming closer either.
She touched her throat. “H-hello?”
Her weak, developing voice kicked me a step closer to her. Even the tone was familiar—the pitch, the heat of her flowing breath, and definitely the look in her eyes, though I was sure her world was still spinning, just like mine. Maybe even more so. She was terribly unsteady; her knees were hitting one another, and she continued to massage the deep tattoos of blue and purple that wrapped around her neck.
After I took the first step, I couldn’t stop, not until only a wedge of sunlight separated our chests. She continued to stutter uncertainly; her eyes flashed and darted to every part of me and then the world. She didn’t know, knew even less than me.
I took her hand and lightly tugged it away from her throat. Her body froze. “Do you know who you are?” I asked gently. Out of all the answers I currently wanted, hers was all I needed right now.
A sluggish shake moved her head. I chuckled with disappointment. “Neither do I. Do you know who I am?”
“N-no…?” she hesitantly replied. “At least I—” She paused, scanning. A spark chirped behind her eyes, one the hue of fire. She did remember just like I did, just neither of us could remember what exactly.
I looked back at her hand, at the arm with a slit starting at the wrist and ending at the armpit. Each one of my fingers clutching her looked like they were bundles of scars and scabs; the same could be said for my toes, and the more I glanced over myself, the more I realized just how much our bodies had been through.
But I wasn’t hurting. If anything, those marks came from the anticipation bursting through my skin, waiting to see what was out there. “I don’t remember… But I know I’ve seen you somewhere.”
She looked back at me, a thin smile on her lips. “Yeah… Me too. But I can’t remember either. I wonder why…?”
I smiled. That past was clearly gone and erased; all that was left was a future—one that I knew was chosen for us.
I stepped from the flower bed onto the vine, holding her hand to begin what I was sure was going to be the journey of our lives. “Well then, let’s go find out.
“Together.”
Epilogue
It wasn’t the Paradise he was taught. That any of the western world was taught, for that matter. The new “Eden” was of its own, but to them, it was their Paradise.
There was pain, physically and mentally. There were trials that had to be overcome. No, the world was not made without flaw, but it was made without Time and, furthermore, without Death—without Fate. The season of green was endless; night, too, had no place.
For Paradise was all theirs. All of Eero’s and all of Mabel’s, both who never quite remembered the other, never remembered their past lives besides, eventually, their names. All they had as a guidance were their physical scars. Mabel had far more than Eero, the majority of those unseen. In the middle of slumber, she would often wake up with terrors, screaming with a cracking migraine—memories of the past clashing in a mucky, undecided battle. Some pieces never quite fit right again, but after being plucked from the void and reconstructed piece by piece, such was expected.
But such small burdens did not compare to all the joy, and the further they traveled through their immortal lives and ageless bodies, the lesser these episodes became. Eventually, it had been so long that the thorny pieces of Mabel’s old life stopped trying to infringe. Soon, they had adult children who never even knew of their mother’s shortcoming; only the eldest children, long gone onto lives of their own, knew.
Until they came back.
The screaming was so horrific that it woke up everyone in the home.
“Mabel!” Eero was over his wife in a second, who was sitting up drenched in sweat, her head smashing against her knees and her cries riding unstable pitches. She kept screaming even as Eero tried to shake her out of it; her fingers were clawing through her hair, ripping pieces out and lifting entire grafts of her scalp.
“Dad!” one of the sons cried, bounding up and over to his writhing mother. “What’s wrong?!”
“She’ll be fine!” he said loudly. His head shot to the many rims of white floating in the background, to the eyes that made so many unique combinations of their own that were bursting with concern and tears of fright. The newest of them, the infant lying beside Eero, began to wail with the pains of her mother.
“Take everyone outside,” Eero instructed his son while lowering his voice, trying to recollect himself for their sake. “Go looking for fruit—play a game with them. I don’t care what you do. Just stay outside until I come get you.”
The son nodded once. He looked to his siblings strewn throughout the intricate branches of the tree, but they were already getting out of their hammocks, obediently making their way through the shifting green walls and heading for the ground. The son stood and scooped up his wailing newborn sister, about to exit when he caught sight of the reflective golden hairs that tried to hide in a mountain of blankets.
He sighed irritably. “Echo!” he barked, jolting his hidden sister.
She parted the sheets shamefully, mumbling under her breath and slinking over to him. Her wide brown eyes reflected her mother’s pain and panic; she moved so slowly past her parents that her gentle father shot her a killer glare. She bolted with a squeal through the draping leaves and onto the winding staircase.
Echo stopped directly outside, watching her brother exit with a heavy, invisible burden. He tiredly lifted his eyes to his stubborn sister, who did not look intent on moving one foot past the door. “Echo,” he spat.
“Nope!” She hit the stick-bundled platform in a defiant crisscross-applesauce. “He said ‘outside,’ and that’s where I am!”
Her brother groggily sighed the air off their planet. “Whatever. Suit yourself.” He went off down the spiraling steps that traced the humongous trunk, joining his other siblings.
Echo smirked victoriously. She gave her chest a well-deserved fist bump. It wasn’t often that she got her way; being one of the middle children that currently made up their cozy home, she often felt overlooked. Pulling one over on her brother felt like one of her greatest victories thus far, aside from the time she was able to snag a coffee bean from his foraging pouch.
Her mother’s next explosion of a scream tackled Echo’s heart; she nearly fell off the landing, gasping while birds in the far-reaching canopy shot for peace and quiet.
Was she really going to be alright…? Echo had hardly seen her mother do anything but smile, her father too. These wails, she had never heard anything like it.
Maybe she could help somehow…! Yeah! Daddy didn’t have to do it all alone!
She leaned forward and reached for the green curtain. �
��ECHO!”
She shrieked and shot her head around. Her brother was back, his head just barely visible above the descending stairs. No, he wasn’t back—he never left! “Hey! You lied to me!”
“So did you! Now knock it off and get down here!”
“UUUGH.” Echo’s protesting groan was loud enough to drown out her mother. Still, she rose and moved down the stairs ahead of her brother, grumbling the entire way. She could help! Why did they treat her like she was so little and useless?
“Call me that one more time, and I’m telling.”
Echo scrunched her sour face at his towering figure. “You heard nothing!”
“I most certainly did.”
“LA LA LA NO YOU DIDN’T!” She was on the ground and hustling away through the surrounding field before he could follow her. She stopped momentarily once she entered the forest—shot behind a trunk and skeptically peered out. Her brother’s eyes met her immediately—so did his wall of a body barricading the stairs as he bounced his sister in his arms.
“What a BUTT!” She made sure to say it loud, and then she romped off. Fine. Whatever. She had better things to do anyway! Like say hi to Sandy!
She moved swiftly through the trees and dew-dampened grass, hardly having to look at the unmarked road she traveled so often after her daily work. The path went well beyond where she knew she was allowed to go; it led her to the bottom of their looming mountain and beyond, where the fault slipped off into what she was sure was the edge of the world. The pools of water some unknown distance below shot up as geysers, dispersing their vapors into the golden clouds that rolled across the tender pink sky.
She hyped herself up along the cliff’s edge, bouncing and throwing her tiny fists. “Let’s gooo!” She took off as a dart of gold and sprung off the ledge; her feet spun frightfully over the abyss, but her eyes were searching, and her heart was calm. She hit the spray of water—giggled with joy as the jets shot under her and pushed her higher into the sky. She exited on the other side of the rift; a clumsy, soaking tumble brought her down onto the plateau that was only hers to ever explore.