by Eric Vall
“I think we should explore,” the beautiful princess said with a mischievous look on her face.
“Ummm, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Your Highness,” I predicted. Something was telling me we should quit while we were ahead and stay in the first room.
“Come on, Joe, where’s your sense of adventure?” she teased me, and I looked her over in the firelight.
Her long black hair was tangled, but she had still pushed it back from her face with a jeweled band. A bit of her eyeshadow was smudged around her dark eyes, and her full red lips were parted in a smile. She wore little but an oversized, long-sleeved shirt that was thin and low cut enough to reveal the full breasts below. Her legs were covered by some type of animal skin leggings, and they only served to accentuate her long legs and firm, round ass.
She had never looked sexier to me.
“Fine,” I sighed, because I knew I couldn’t resist anything this beauty asked from me. “But I’m not going in there empty-handed. We need to suit up in our armor and grab our weapons.”
I walked back to the overhead opening and realized I was going to have to do a pull-up to get out of here. I hadn’t been to the gym in a couple of months, and I grunted a bit from the exertion, but I managed to drag myself up and out of the hole.
I quickly gathered our things, put on my chainmail, and grabbed Jessamine’s armor and our scimitars, and I still wore my toolbelt with the pipe wrench and a flashlight. I felt relatively well-prepared, though it was hard to imagine what laid beyond that stone door.
I jumped back down into the room, handed Jessamine her mail and swords, and dropped the rest of our things at our feet. I enjoyed watching her put on her armor, though it would have been hotter to see her take it off.
“Are you ready, Joe?” Jessamine inquired with an eager look on her face.
“I’m ready to do anything with you, Princess Jessamine.” I grinned at the gorgeous woman. I had to admit I was glad to have a badass warrior by my side instead of the stereotypical helpless princess.
We approached the small door in the corner, and I reached out my hand to push it open. I held back for a second, but then I took a deep breath and pressed the portal further open with my hand. It was like pushing a giant block of cement, but it moved easily with one palm while I reached back for Jessamine’s hand with the other.
I grabbed my flashlight and quickly switched it on, and I swung the beam around the next room. It appeared to be a small, square chamber with no other source of light, and I was grateful for the glow that came from the open stone door.
“Be sure not to close that behind us,” I told the princess, and she nodded in agreement.
“It is lucky we have your magic torch,” she told me as she gestured to my flashlight.
I shone the beam around the corners of the room, but all I could see was lots of cobwebs, and a mouse, or some sort of other small creature, scurried out of the way of the light.
Then something else caught my gaze.
“Shit, what was that?” I muttered as I swung the flashlight’s beam back over to a smallish, round object.
A smallish round object with eyes.
“What is it?” the princess whispered as she crowded close to my back.
“Holy fuck, Jessamine… I think that’s a human skull,” I whispered, though my first instinct was to scream.
“Let’s go look at it,” she breathed, and I couldn’t believe her bravery. Then we walked over to the skull, and the princess knelt down to look closer. “I think it’s very old. There is nothing remaining but bone. And look, there are more bones buried here in the clay.”
I was disturbed to realize we were possibly in the presence of an entire human skeleton, not that just a disembodied skull would have been any better.
“Jessamine, I think we need to get the fuck out of here,” I told her as sweat dripped down my forehead.
But the princess grabbed my flashlight, danced across the room with it, and laughed. I didn’t know if it was the amount of death and destruction she’d seen over the past few years, but the beautiful woman seemed a lot less disturbed by the skeleton’s presence than I was.
“Come on, Joe,” she implored me with a devilish smile on her face. Then she shone the flashlight at the wall opposite the door we’d used to enter the room. “I see there is one more door here. Just one more room, and then I promise we can go back out to the front chamber with the fire and get comfortable for the night.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “Just let me go first.”
I would have been happy to get comfortable already, but the princess was insistent on pressing forward, and we were basically armed to the teeth. Since our encounter with the zombies on the palace balcony, I had come to view my pipe wrench as yet another weapon in our arsenal, though it was somewhat awkward to wield.
Jessamine gave me the flashlight back, and I walked over to the next door and pushed it open. To enter the next room, we had to take four or five steps down, which gave it a much higher ceiling than the previous two chambers. It was clear the previous rooms had been antechambers to this one, which seemed larger and grander upon first glance.
Suddenly, the princess jostled me from behind, and I stumbled for a moment and then tripped down the stairs. The princess seemed to fall along with me, and we both made contact with the room’s dirt floor at approximately the same time. I was happy to have landed on my feet, but I soon realized there was a problem when I shone my light at the floor.
“O-Oh, fuck,” I breathed.
Jessamine had landed on her back, and we weren’t alone in the room. The large chamber was full of hundreds, if not thousands, of shiny brown snakes that quickly slithered over to explore their new visitors.
“Oh, no!” the princess gasped.
These motherfuckers were fast, and they appeared to have quickly wrapped themselves around her wrists and ankles.
“I’m coming, Jessamine!” I shouted, but the serpents had begun to climb up my legs. Then I could feel one slide its way past my boot and up my pant leg, and I choked back a scream.
“They’re holding me down,” the princess grunted, and I knew I needed to come up with a plan.
“Why did it have to be snakes?” I groaned.
I had to get to the princess quickly. While I knew solid-colored snakes weren’t usually venomous back on Earth, we weren’t in my world anymore. Even if these snakes weren’t venomous, though, I was worried they would start to squeeze her at any time. With the princess’ arms disabled, she wouldn’t be able to strike back if they started to constrict her neck.
I still gripped my industrial flashlight, but I thought I would have to put it down if I wanted to grab a different weapon. I hoped it would still produce enough light so I could fight the scaly beasts, because I wanted to grab my scimitar from my belt. Then I realized my best hope of defeating the snakes would be to stab them and slash at them with the blade, and I hoped I was right.
I just had time to grab the large, curved sword when I was suddenly brought to my knees by the animals that were all over my legs, inside and outside of the loose linen pants I still wore. I felt lucky I had the weapon and that I’d managed to stay in an upright position.
“Hold on, Your Highness!” I shouted. I tried to rise to my feet, but I was immediately tripped by what felt like ropes around my ankles. My next plan was to try to clamber over the snakes on my knees to reach the princess, but there were just too many of them. I imagined the colony had been inbreeding for centuries and feeding off itself and the mice that scurried underground, and I shivered with disgust.
If I couldn’t move through the snakes around my knees, it was time for me to strike. I’d never used a scimitar, or any sword really, and it felt awkward in my hands. Still, I set the flashlight down and, although I knew it was a one-handed weapon, I closed both fists around the hilt of the sword and began to stab downward. My goal was to impale the sons of bitches on the sharp tip of the blade, and it seemed to work for the time b
eing.
When the tip of the sword pierced the snakes, I could feel it almost pop through their scaly armor to the squishy insides of their bodies. Cold, bright red blood squirted onto my clothing, and I stifled the urge to gag. The other snakes continued to hiss at me and strike out with their heads, and it seemed like I was surrounded by a sea of glowing eyes and biting mouths. Still, even though serpents continued to writhe around my ankles and legs, I was able to begin to clear a path forward toward Jessamine.
I scooted one knee forward, and then the next. I stabbed some of the snakes that got in my way, and others I attempted to swipe to the side using the length of the blade. I started to make progress, one slow foot at a time until I reached Jessamine’s feet, and then I decided it was time to do some real damage.
“Don’t move, Your Highness,” I panted.
Then, with the sharp edge of the scimitar, I slashed downward toward the creatures that held her legs captive. I wanted to cut off their heads, but I made do with cutting through entire curled up bodies, which released her feet one at a time. She began to kick at the snakes around her, which was somewhat effective, but I knew I had to reach her hands.
“They are on my face!” the princess wailed through the darkness, and I’d never been in such an intense situation or wanted to help someone more.
“Shit!” I moaned. I needed to move faster.
Then I had an idea, though I wasn’t sure how well it would work, and it made me feel slightly awkward. I thought if I dove forward, the momentum of my body would help me escape the snakes that bound my legs, and I would be able to reach Jessamine’s head and neck more quickly.
But it would land me directly on top of the princess’ snake-covered body. It was somewhere I’d longed to be, but not exactly in this scenario.
Fuck it, I had to act fast.
So, I propelled my upper body forward and onto Jessamine’s, and I quickly sat up to straddle her. Even surrounded by what felt like millions of snakes, I had to control the pornographic fantasy running through my brain, since it wasn’t often, or possibly even ever, that I’d sat on top of a beautiful woman whose arms were bound.
I didn’t want to slash at the snakes so close to her delicate neck, so I gingerly set down my blade and used my hands to pull at the beasts that had managed to wrap themselves around the princess’ throat. While there were many of them, we were lucky each one wasn’t particularly large, and I was strong enough to pry them away. The normally energetic princess just coughed and laid there for a moment without saying anything, and I hoped she was alright.
There was no time to waste, however. I could see the blade of the scimitar gleam slightly in the flashlight’s dim glow, and I picked up the sword again and stabbed furiously downward at all of the snakes that surrounded the two of us. Snake blood or some kind of liquid splashed up at me, but I was too enraged to care.
“Die, motherfuckers!” I screamed as loudly as my lungs could yell.
I slashed at the serpents around Jessamine’s wrists, and I realized I was probably going to have to carry her out of here. I would have to move fast, though, since I realized big, quick movements were most effective when dealing with the slow-moving, writhing mass.
I immediately stashed the scimitar on my belt and grabbed out for my flashlight, which laid covered in snakes a couple of feet away. I left the light on but stored it on my belt, as well. Then I lunged forward again from my knees onto the princess, but this time, I scooped her up by her armpits and threw her over my shoulder, fireman style.
“Oooh,” Jessamine gasped, and I hoped I hadn’t knocked the wind out of her.
“Hold on tight,” I replied in a grim tone.
It was going to be hard work to make it out of here.
I was afraid I would have trouble standing up with the snakes wrapped around my legs and the extra weight I was carrying, but luckily, the princess was very light, and I was able to shake the disgusting beasts from my legs and rise to my feet.
We were still close to the steps, so I used all of my energy to climb up as I slowly pulled away from the snake pit. Jessamine wasn’t hard to carry, but I was exhausted, and I was incredibly relieved when we reached the door to the room.
As soon as I hit solid ground, I began to run, and I didn’t stop until we were in the first chamber with the torch. Then I slammed the stone door shut as quickly as I could, and, with my chest heaving from the exertion, I set the princess down on the ground and collapsed next to her.
“What a fucking nightmare,” I panted.
The princess laid on the ground and gasped for air, which seemed like an appropriate reaction. So, I reached out for her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed back.
“Joe, you saved me again,” Jessamine mumbled weakly. “I know I summoned you to save the universe, but I didn’t exactly mean for you to serve as my own personal bodyguard. I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank you for this.”
“Princess Jessamine, I thought L.A. was dangerous,” I remarked with a dry laugh, “but Fairyland is way worse. I’m only doing what the situation calls for. Be it zombies or… snakes, I’m here for you.”
As my heartbeat began to even out, I rested my head in my hands. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. The once-cozy cave now seemed ominous, and there was no way I wanted to spend the night down here with a horde of snakes in the next room over.
“Joe, I think what we need to do is to drink as much as we can from the spring now, and return to the cave in the morning to fill our flasks for the trip ahead,” Jessamine suggested as if she had read my thoughts.
“Sounds like a plan,” I muttered. Then I used some of my remaining strength to hoist myself up off the ground, and I reached down to pull the princess up by her arms. We were both incredibly thirsty, and we each drank for a couple of minutes before we were ready to go.
I lifted my weapons, tools, and the rest of our things up and out of the hole, and then hoisted up the princess. Next, I did what I hoped was my final pull-up of the night to leave the terrible chamber behind.
I sincerely hoped there were no bandits or other wild beasts around, because I was spent. We still needed to make a plan for the night, too, which was cold but clear. Sleeping out in the open seemed as good an option as any at this point, though, since I was sure it was quite late, and I gathered a pile of Jessamine’s textiles and started to lay out a makeshift bed.
When I was done, I sat back on my heels, sighed heavily, and looked up at the night sky. I’d never seen so many stars in my life, but I couldn’t recognize any familiar constellations. I wasn’t sure if that was because of my lack of astronomical knowledge or because the stars in Fairyland were actually different. In any case, the sight was astounding.
Jessamine and I laid next to each other on the small pile of rugs and blankets, and after what we had just been through with the snakes, I wanted her near me, so I pulled her body against mine. I felt that strange energy zapping through me again, and I wondered what it meant.
“My hero,” the princess sighed as she snuggled up next to me with her head on my chest.
I could smell the perfume of her hair and feel the length of her body pressed up against my own, and I would have liked to have touched her more if I hadn’t been so exhausted.
“Good night, princess,” I whispered, and I dared to kiss her on top of her head.
Then I fell asleep dreaming of those long, tan legs wrapped around me and her bare breasts pressed up against my shirtless chest.
I woke up achy in the early morning sun, and my limbs were intertwined with the princess’. The pile of fabric on the rocky ground seemed less comfortable than when I’d fallen asleep the night before, and my head pounded. In the early morning light, the snake pit seemed like more of a horrible nightmare than something that had actually happened.
Princess Jessamine awoke soon after me, and I could tell she was also in pain from the way she stretched and arched her back against the hard ground.
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�Good morning, Joe,” she commented in a groggy voice. “Everything hurts today.”
“I hear you,” I chuckled. “I’m not looking forward to our long journey today, but I suppose we still need to head in Princess Cienna’s direction.”
“I agree,” Jessamine sighed, though she still looked barely awake.
It was time to get up and gather our supplies, and I dreaded the idea of going back down into the underground chamber to collect water. I imagined the snakes escaping the large room and heading out toward the first chamber, entwining themselves into horrible knots…
I shook my head to clear the cobwebs away, since I couldn’t continue to obsess about serpents if I wanted to move on with my day. I hadn’t had a snake phobia before, but what had happened last night was enough to traumatize anyone.
I managed to bring myself to peer down into the edge of the hole, and I didn’t see any snakes, thank god. So, with our water flasks in hand, I jumped down and filled them from the spring as quickly as possible. Then I pulled myself back out to see Jessamine appeared to have recovered from her long night.
She sat on a rock and was combing out her shiny ebony hair. Unbound, it fell several inches past her waist and curled at the ends. I couldn’t help myself, and I stared openly at the princess’ incredible beauty, but she must have felt my gaze, because she looked up and smiled.
“Last night was nice, Joe,” she said as she batted her dark lashes at me. “I enjoy being close to you. It has been a long time since I have slept so near to a man, and your presence was comforting.”
I definitely hoped it was more than comforting, but I was happy she had enjoyed the evening.
“I liked it, too, Jessamine.” I grinned at the beautiful woman’s compliment. “We seem to travel well together.”
“You are a good man,” she said. “I have made my desires apparent but… this is new to me. These feelings for you. I thank you for taking it slower.”
“Slower?” I asked, but as soon as the word left my mouth, I realized she was talking about me not pressing our relationship into something sexual too quickly.