“You think very ill of the men of Society,” he said softly.
“Do you believe I judge them too harshly?”
He didn’t answer, for he couldn’t really. He had seen the world just as she had. He’d felt the particular cruelty of some of those who held the power.
She smiled sadly. “I thought not. At any rate, I realized that my best option might be to choose my own husband before my father devises a plan and cannot be turned from it.”
“You believe he would allow you to choose for yourself?” Henry asked.
She nodded. “I believe he will until he won’t. And I have no idea the day or time his mind will turn.”
Henry held her gaze. “And why choose me for your scheme against him?”
For a moment, she seemed to struggle with the answer. Her mouth opened and shut, her gaze darted from his. And then she whispered, “You are a friend, Henry.”
He arched a brow as response, and her eyes widened. “You do not believe me?”
“I don’t know what to believe, but I know I see through you,” he said. “How your gaze will not find mine, how your hands shake in your lap even as you grip them into fists to make it stop.”
She sucked in a breath and clenched those hands even tighter in response.
“How there is a tremor to your voice, a lilt that tells me you are terrified, Evangeline. And also that you aren’t being truthful. I see all of that evidence, and so no, I don’t fully believe that your only reason for drawing my name out of your hat was because you like me as a person.”
She pushed from the settee and flounced across the room in what he could see was a show of outrage. “Well, I never!” she huffed.
He chuckled despite the situation and followed her across the room. “I know you never,” he said. “You never a great many things I think. It’s actually one of the most charming aspects of your personality. But today, I need you to trust me. All the way. Please.”
He had pushed back against her defenses and could see them wavering. Still, she was a woman unaccustomed to such things, and there was a moment when he thought she might just storm out his door.
But at last her shoulders rolled forward and she gave way. She sighed, and the sound was painful in the quiet room. “I know about your father’s ultimatum, Henry. I know you need me as much as I need you, and that was part of why I chose you.”
His brows lifted and his throat felt thick. “You know, do you? And what do you think you know?”
She glared at him. “Must you always make things so difficult?”
“I’m scientist,” he said. “So yes.”
“Fine,” she ground out. “I know your father is going to cut you off because of that paper you published last month. I know if he does that, you’ll be in dire straits because you depend upon your allowance to live. And I also know you don’t want to give up your work because it’s important, both to you and to the world at large. Marrying me could solve both our problems. Me, because I could retain some autonomy. You, because my dowry is seventy thousand and I would not give a flying fig if you went and found a dozen planets and published an entire tome about it.”
He blinked. “Seventy thousand?” God, that was enough money to live comfortably for all their days. More than comfortably. And if Evangeline was being honest that she would not care if he pursued his interests…
Well, she was correct that it was a good match for them each on paper. And yet he felt less than satisfied at the answer.
“Yes,” she said. “And the benefit of it can be yours if you agree to marry me.”
“Under your terms, I assume,” he said. “And that is why you chose me, because you think I will surrender to those terms because of my own situation.”
His voice sounded hollow and her expression softened. She reached out and caught his hand briefly, squeezing his fingers and sending a jolt of awareness through his body. “Not entirely. Henry, I wasn’t lying when I said you were a friend. I like you. I would not think of offering such a shocking arrangement to someone I didn’t like.”
“That is heartwarming,” he said, and stared down at their intertwined fingers. Slowly, he lifted her hand to his chest and rested it there, forcing her closer. Her breath caught in a most delightful way. “And what about this?”
She swallowed hard. “This?” she squeaked.
He smiled at the fact that he had made the great Lady Evangeline squeak. “What I did to you on that settee.”
“Oh.” She pulled her hand away and her cheeks flamed higher than he had ever seen before. She was trembling now. “I liked that, too. But it is my understanding that this kind of connection doesn’t…it doesn’t last. That men grow tired of the same woman eventually and desire other company, whether they seek it out or not.”
His brow wrinkled. There was such a lilt of resignation to her tone. Of pain. She believed women were disposable to men. And perhaps they had been, in her experience.
And yet as he stared at her, so lovely with her dress wrinkled and her hair mussed from the wicked things he’d done to her, with her bright gaze focused on him, with her sharp wit sparkling in his sometimes rather dull life…he had a hard time believing he could ever truly bore of that. Of her. Of touching her or being with her.
But if he said that, she wouldn’t accept it. He could see that. That would be something he proved over months, even years. He’d have to draw trust from her slowly, carefully. If he earned it, then it would be an even more powerful gift.
“I don’t know what the future will bring,” he said carefully. “But I would not deny some men have a roving eye and cannot focus their attention on one lady. I, on the other hand, have a very focused mind. After all, this celestial body I’m trying to find has been searched for over centuries, not months. I can be singular, if that is what you fear.”
Her expression didn’t soften, but she nodded. “Then let us discuss the parameters of our agreement.”
He tilted his head at her professional tone. Like she was a solicitor. But of course she would behave thus. She was all about control in the end. That’s why stealing that control with his mouth was so satisfying.
“Go ahead. Lay out your terms,” he said, sitting back down and folding his arms as he looked up at her in anticipation.
“I have three requests,” she said. “First, if we are to marry, I do not wish to be subject to your control. I want to manage my own purse and set its limit.”
“That doesn’t seem unfair. With such a large settlement, there should be no reason to have to watch the finances all too closely. I assume I shall also have a personal account for pin money?”
Her eyes widened. “Pin money for the husband. Yes, that sounds fair. We each have our own personal account that the other does not have any rights to, as well as a household account for expenses.”
“Second?” he pressed, loving the delight that lit Evangeline up when she got what she wanted. It made him never want to deny her anything at all.
“Secondly, I want to retain my independence in my friendships and in my actions.” She met his stare. “I don’t mean that I would do anything to embarrass you or bring shame to your name or my own. I only mean I do not want to have to explain my every movement to you. If you do not wish to attend an event, it should not preclude me from doing so and from dancing or enjoying myself while I’m there. I don’t want my friendships interfered with.”
Henry wrinkled his brow. What had she witnessed done to the women in her life? Not much more, he supposed, than any other woman, when he thought of it.
“Essentially you want to run your life like a dowager might, except that in this case I would still be alive,” he said.
She nodded. “Something like that. The dowager part—of course you would be alive.”
“That is heartening,” he teased, and she flashed him a quick smile as a reward. “And having one’s own interests doesn’t seem too hard a thing to ask. What is third?”
“I do not wish to have emotional ent
anglements expected of me. We will be friends, I hope. I would not want to lose our friendship. But if you expect me to grovel at your feet for your love, that will never happen. I will not expect the same of you. We will have a marriage of convenience, and I don’t want or demand more than that.”
He frowned. She was truly against the very concept of romantic love, it seemed. So much so that she would pilot her ship right into a loveless union.
But perhaps time would change that. Or would make him more immune to the kinds of feelings stirring in him now.
“And what of this?” he asked. “What of ravishing you on settees or coming to your bed at night?”
Her lips parted and he watched her pupils dilate with renewed desire. It all gave him hope. Faint, perhaps, but hope nonetheless. Then she straightened her back and pushed her shoulders back.
“As long as you do not have an emotional expectation tied to such things,” she said, “then the pleasure we just shared is certainly something I’d like more of. And procreation requires such acts, so I might as well enjoy them.”
“Very pragmatic,” he said, using humor to hide the sting caused by her casual disregard for emotional connection. “And I can agree to all those terms to a marriage.”
Her shoulders rolled forward and she let out her breath in an unmistakable sound of relief. In that moment, he saw how much a lack of control over her future had weighed on her. How much solace he gave her with his surrender to her requests.
“Good,” she said. “Now I must return home. My maid will soon discover I snuck out if she already hasn’t. Will you call on me tomorrow? I’ll be sure my father is there for you to make the show of asking for my hand.”
He pushed to his feet and stepped in front of her as she scuttled toward the door. She stopped, staring up at him.
“Evangeline,” he said. “You have forgotten to seal the deal.”
She blinked. “Oh…yes, I suppose we should, if you want to be gentlemanly about it.” She stuck out her hand between them, as if to shake his.
He chuckled. “Gentlemanly isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
He caught her waist, curling his fingers around the softness of her as he molded her to his body. He was gratified when she let out a great shudder and lifted her chin toward him as her eyes fluttered shut.
She knew what he wanted. She was willing to give it. And so he took, dropping his mouth to hers and drinking of her deeply. Her tongue met his with abandon and he tasted her surrender as she sagged against his chest and gripped his forearms hard enough to dig her nails into his flesh.
Oh, how he was going to enjoy learning her body. Studying her pleasure. Teaching her his own. He was going to enjoy that very much.
She pulled away at last, unsteady on her feet as she stared up at him. Then she nodded and said, “Yes, well…good…yes. Good—good day Henry.”
She staggered to the door and exited, leaving him half-dressed and alone as he stared after her. He heard the front door close and rushed to the window to watch her making her away across the street and to the park. As she disappeared from view, he knelt on the window seat and let his forehead press against the cold glass.
Evangeline didn’t want emotion and he was in deep, deep trouble by agreeing to her terms. After all, emotion was already something he felt. And it wasn’t going to get any better, no matter how many limits she put onto their future.
Chapter 11
Evangeline snuck in through the servant entrance to her father’s estate exactly seven minutes after she’d left Henry’s house and crept up the backstairs. There was no one in the hall and she smiled as she slipped into her chamber. She tossed her wrap aside and was about to lie down on her bed when she heard a throat being cleared behind her.
She pivoted and found herself face to face with Tibby. Her maid was seated in the corner of the room, arms folded and face lined with concern.
“You frightened me half to death!” Evangeline exclaimed as she raised a hand to her chest. “What are you doing in the corner there?”
“Waiting for my wayward charge to return from God knows where,” Tibby explained. “As I have been for the last half an hour.”
Evangeline frowned. Well, there was no use in lying and saying she had only just stepped out. “And how…how do you know I wasn’t in the library or the study?”
Tibby pursed her lips. “Because I searched there when I came up and found your bed empty. And also because your cheeks are bright from the cold. I know you left the house.”
Evangeline sighed. “Well, I had to take care of some business.”
“I can only imagine what kind of business you needed to attend to unchaperoned.” Tibby got up. “You put yourself in danger, my lady!”
Evangeline flashed to an image of Henry perched between her legs, her body shaking as he did such scandalous things to her. Dangerous, indeed, for in that moment she would have given him anything. Everything. It had taken every ounce of control in her to gather herself afterward and present her plan to him calmly and with detachment.
“I was not in danger,” Evangeline muttered. “I’m quite capable of taking care of myself. It’s rather ridiculous that I must be followed around like a child at any rate.”
Tibby let out her breath in a long, put-upon sigh. Then she took a step closer. “You met with Mr. Killam?”
Evangeline worried her lip. Tibby didn’t approve, but she did so need to speak about what had happened. Not all of it, of course, gracious no, but just say out loud her plan so that she would feel better.
“I did,” she admitted, and ignored the strangled sound of frustration that escaped Tibby’s throat. “You know you are my maid, don’t you? You aren’t supposed to judge.”
Tibby shook her head slowly. “It’s not judgment, my lady, I assure you. You have been so kind to me since you demanded I be hired all those years ago. I only worry about you.”
Evangeline turned away from the strangely emotional reaction those words inspired. She gathered herself and focused on the problem at hand. “I know you don’t approve of my sneaking out, but it worked out for the best, so I don’t regret it. Henry and I…we…we were…well, it doesn’t matter. He has agreed my terms of the marriage. Tomorrow he’ll come and speak to my father about taking my hand.”
Tibby was silent for so long that Evangeline turned to look at her. The maid’s mouth was slightly agape in surprise, but her eyes were bright with what almost looked like…pity.
“So you have gotten your way at last,” she murmured.
Evangeline tried to force a smile, but found it impossible. “I have.”
“Then why do you seem disappointed, my lady?”
Evangeline gasped at the observation. Worse was how true it was. She was disappointed, even though she had found incredible pleasure with Henry, even though she had been able to convince him to give her what she wanted, needed. Somehow it all felt…flat. Not like her usual triumphs.
“I’m not,” she lied. “In fact, I got more than I hoped for in our bargain. There will be unexpected benefits that do not require me to give any more than what I originally planned.” She shivered as she thought of the pleasure again and all the promises of more to come that he had made to her.
Tibby wrinkled her brow. “And that will be enough?”
Evangeline turned away and walked to her window. Her view was of the park across the street and she looked through it, toward Henry’s home. She couldn’t see it, of course, but she knew it was there. He was there.
“Of course it will be enough,” she said softly. “What he’s agreed to is all I want. I can’t want more.”
“Can’t want it or are afraid to want it?” her maid asked.
She pivoted back to Tibby and was pleased she could harden her countenance at last. “You are being ridiculous. Now, let’s fix my hair and help me change for supper. Father has the Wilkinson brothers joining us tonight because he is determined to purchase some racehorse of theirs.” She rolled her eyes. “I shall
not miss playing hostess to these kinds of events.”
If Tibby had more to say about the matter of Henry and her impending engagement, she did not do it. She only inclined her head slightly and moved to Evangeline’s dressing room to bring out a few dresses for her to choose from. The moment she was alone, Evangeline took a long breath.
Everything was working out just as she wanted it to do. She had to shake off this odd sensation that she should wish for more before it caused her grief. Before it made her do something foolish that she would regret in the end.
Henry followed the duke’s butler, Hughes, down the twisting halls of the manor the next day, and it was like he was seeing this place for the first time. Oh, he’d been here many a time, following his father as the viscount toadied about for the duke’s favor. But today wasn’t about the viscount or the duke. It was about Evangeline, and Henry took in every detail around him that would make him understand the woman who would be his…well, she’d be his bride soon enough if their plans went well.
An odd thought, considering where they had begun a week ago, a month ago. Just friends, nothing more. He wanted her and never dared hope he could do anything more than watch her from a distance as she brightened the world. But now she would be his and that had kept him up all night, dreaming of her sweet scent and the way her flavor had burst on his tongue as she erupted in pure pleasure.
He pushed those heated thoughts away and continued his observations. The house reflected her taste as much as the duke’s. Henry knew her mother had died five years before, when Evangeline was seventeen. As the eldest daughter, she had taken over the hostessing duties that had once been the duchess’s. It had truly been her first entrée into Society, even more than her coming out. He recalled the first party he had attended after the family ended their official mourning period. There had been Evangeline, mingling through the crowd, being herself and making everyone at ease.
Betrothed by Christmas: A Holiday Duet Page 9