CHAPTER VI
NECESSARY PRACTICE
About the rest of all that winter I remember very little, being only ayoung boy then, and missing my father most out of doors, as when itcame to the bird-catching, or the tracking of hares in the snow, orthe training of a sheep-dog. Oftentimes I looked at his gun, an ancientpiece found in the sea, a little below Glenthorne, and of which he wasmighty proud, although it was only a match-lock; and I thought of thetimes I had held the fuse, while he got his aim at a rabbit, and onceeven at a red deer rubbing among the hazels. But nothing came of mylooking at it, so far as I remember, save foolish tears of my ownperhaps, till John Fry took it down one day from the hooks wherefather's hand had laid it; and it hurt me to see how John handled it, asif he had no memory.
'Bad job for he as her had not got thiccy the naight as her coom acrassthem Doones. Rackon Varmer Jan 'ood a-zhown them the wai to kingdomcome, 'stead of gooin' herzel zo aisy. And a maight have been gooin' tomarket now, 'stead of laying banked up over yanner. Maister Jan, theecan zee the grave if thee look alang this here goon-barryel. Buy now,whutt be blubberin' at? Wish I had never told thee.'
'John Fry, I am not blubbering; you make a great mistake, John. You arethinking of little Annie. I cough sometimes in the winter-weather, andfather gives me lickerish--I mean--I mean--he used to. Now let me havethe gun, John.'
'Thee have the goon, Jan! Thee isn't fit to putt un to thy zhoulder.What a weight her be, for sure!'
'Me not hold it, John! That shows how much you know about it. Get outof the way, John; you are opposite the mouth of it, and likely it isloaded.'
John Fry jumped in a livelier manner than when he was doing day-work;and I rested the mouth on a cross rack-piece, and felt a warm sortof surety that I could hit the door over opposite, or, at least, thecobwall alongside of it, and do no harm in the orchard. But John wouldnot give me link or fuse, and, on the whole, I was glad of it, thoughcarrying on as boys do, because I had heard my father say that theSpanish gun kicked like a horse, and because the load in it came fromhis hand, and I did not like to undo it. But I never found it kick veryhard, and firmly set to the shoulder, unless it was badly loaded. Intruth, the thickness of the metal was enough almost to astonish one; andwhat our people said about it may have been true enough, although mostof them are such liars--at least, I mean, they make mistakes, as allmankind must do. Perchance it was no mistake at all to say that thisancient gun had belonged to a noble Spaniard, the captain of a finelarge ship in the 'Invincible Armada,' which we of England managed toconquer, with God and the weather helping us, a hundred years ago ormore--I can't say to a month or so.
After a little while, when John had fired away at a rat the charge Iheld so sacred, it came to me as a natural thing to practise shootingwith that great gun, instead of John Fry's blunderbuss, which lookedlike a bell with a stalk to it. Perhaps for a boy there is nothingbetter than a good windmill to shoot at, as I have seen them in flatcountries; but we have no windmills upon the great moorland, yet hereand there a few barn-doors, where shelter is, and a way up the hollows.And up those hollows you can shoot, with the help of the sides to leadyour aim, and there is a fair chance of hitting the door, if you layyour cheek to the barrel, and try not to be afraid of it.
Gradually I won such skill, that I sent nearly all the lead gutter fromthe north porch of our little church through our best barn-door, a thingwhich has often repented me since, especially as churchwarden, and mademe pardon many bad boys; but father was not buried on that side of thechurch.
But all this time, while I was roving over the hills or about the farm,and even listening to John Fry, my mother, being so much older andfeeling trouble longer, went about inside the house, or among the maidsand fowls, not caring to talk to the best of them, except when she brokeout sometimes about the good master they had lost, all and every oneof us. But the fowls would take no notice of it, except to cluck forbarley; and the maidens, though they had liked him well, were thinkingof their sweethearts as the spring came on. Mother thought it wrong ofthem, selfish and ungrateful; and yet sometimes she was proud that nonehad such call as herself to grieve for him. Only Annie seemed to gosoftly in and out, and cry, with nobody along of her, chiefly in thecorner where the bees are and the grindstone. But somehow she wouldnever let anybody behold her; being set, as you may say, to think itover by herself, and season it with weeping. Many times I caught her,and many times she turned upon me, and then I could not look at her, butasked how long to dinner-time.
Now in the depth of the winter month, such as we call December, fatherbeing dead and quiet in his grave a fortnight, it happened me to be outof powder for practice against his enemies. I had never fired a shotwithout thinking, 'This for father's murderer'; and John Fry said thatI made such faces it was a wonder the gun went off. But though I couldhardly hold the gun, unless with my back against a bar, it did me goodto hear it go off, and hope to have hitten his enemies.
'Oh, mother, mother,' I said that day, directly after dinner, while shewas sitting looking at me, and almost ready to say (as now she did seventimes in a week), 'How like your father you are growing! Jack, come hereand kiss me'--'oh, mother, if you only knew how much I want a shilling!'
'Jack, you shall never want a shilling while I am alive to give theeone. But what is it for, dear heart, dear heart?'
'To buy something over at Porlock, mother. Perhaps I will tell youafterwards. If I tell not it will be for your good, and for the sake ofthe children.'
'Bless the boy, one would think he was threescore years of age at least.Give me a little kiss, you Jack, and you shall have the shilling.'
For I hated to kiss or be kissed in those days: and so all honest boysmust do, when God puts any strength in them. But now I wanted the powderso much that I went and kissed mother very shyly, looking round thecorner first, for Betty not to see me.
But mother gave me half a dozen, and only one shilling for all of them;and I could not find it in my heart to ask her for another, although Iwould have taken it. In very quick time I ran away with the shillingin my pocket, and got Peggy out on the Porlock road without my motherknowing it. For mother was frightened of that road now, as if all thetrees were murderers, and would never let me go alone so much as ahundred yards on it. And, to tell the truth, I was touched with fear formany years about it; and even now, when I ride at dark there, a man bya peat-rick makes me shiver, until I go and collar him. But this timeI was very bold, having John Fry's blunderbuss, and keeping a sharplook-out wherever any lurking place was. However, I saw only sheep andsmall red cattle, and the common deer of the forest, until I was nigh toPorlock town, and then rode straight to Mr. Pooke's, at the sign of theSpit and Gridiron.
Mr. Pooke was asleep, as it happened, not having much to do that day;and so I fastened Peggy by the handle of a warming-pan, at which shehad no better manners than to snort and blow her breath; and in I walkedwith a manful style, bearing John Fry's blunderbuss. Now Timothy Pookewas a peaceful man, glad to live without any enjoyment of mind atdanger, and I was tall and large already as most lads of a riper age.Mr. Pooke, as soon as he opened his eyes, dropped suddenly under thecounting-board, and drew a great frying-pan over his head, as if theDoones were come to rob him, as their custom was, mostly after thefair-time. It made me feel rather hot and queer to be taken for arobber; and yet methinks I was proud of it.
'Gadzooks, Master Pooke,' said I, having learned fine words at Tiverton'do you suppose that I know not then the way to carry firearms? An itwere the old Spanish match-lock in the lieu of this good flint-engine,which may be borne ten miles or more and never once go off, scarcelycouldst thou seem more scared. I might point at thee muzzle on--just soas I do now--even for an hour or more, and like enough it would nevershoot thee, unless I pulled the trigger hard, with a crock upon myfinger; so you see; just so, Master Pooke, only a trifle harder.'
'God sake, John Ridd, God sake, dear boy,' cried Pooke, knowing me bythis time; 'don't 'e, for good love now, don't 'e show it to me, boy
,as if I was to suck it. Put 'un down, for good, now; and thee shall havethe very best of all is in the shop.'
'Ho!' I replied with much contempt, and swinging round the gun so thatit fetched his hoop of candles down, all unkindled as they were: 'Ho!as if I had not attained to the handling of a gun yet! My hands are coldcoming over the moors, else would I go bail to point the mouth at youfor an hour, sir, and no cause for uneasiness.'
But in spite of all assurances, he showed himself desirous only to seethe last of my gun and me. I dare say 'villainous saltpetre,' as thegreat playwright calls it, was never so cheap before nor since. For myshilling Master Pooke afforded me two great packages over-large to gointo my pockets, as well as a mighty chunk of lead, which I bound uponPeggy's withers. And as if all this had not been enough, he presented mewith a roll of comfits for my sister Annie, whose gentle face and prettymanners won the love of everybody.
There was still some daylight here and there as I rose the hill abovePorlock, wondering whether my mother would be in a fright, or would notknow it. The two great packages of powder, slung behind my back, knockedso hard against one another that I feared they must either spill or blowup, and hurry me over Peggy's ears from the woollen cloth I rodeupon. For father always liked a horse to have some wool upon his loinswhenever he went far from home, and had to stand about, where onepleased, hot, and wet, and panting. And father always said that saddleswere meant for men full-grown and heavy, and losing their activity; andno boy or young man on our farm durst ever get into a saddle, becausethey all knew that the master would chuck them out pretty quickly. Asfor me, I had tried it once, from a kind of curiosity; and I could notwalk for two or three days, the leather galled my knees so. But now, asPeggy bore me bravely, snorting every now and then into a cloud of air,for the night was growing frosty, presently the moon arose over theshoulder of a hill, and the pony and I were half glad to see her, andhalf afraid of the shadows she threw, and the images all around us. Iwas ready at any moment to shoot at anybody, having great faith in myblunderbuss, but hoping not to prove it. And as I passed the narrowplace where the Doones had killed my father, such a fear broke out uponme that I leaned upon the neck of Peggy, and shut my eyes, and was coldall over. However, there was not a soul to be seen, until we came hometo the old farmyard, and there was my mother crying sadly, and BettyMuxworthy scolding.
'Come along, now,' I whispered to Annie, the moment supper was over;'and if you can hold your tongue, Annie, I will show you something.'
She lifted herself on the bench so quickly, and flushed so rich withpleasure, that I was obliged to stare hard away, and make Betty lookbeyond us. Betty thought I had something hid in the closet beyond theclock-case, and she was the more convinced of it by reason of my denial.Not that Betty Muxworthy, or any one else, for that matter, ever foundme in a falsehood, because I never told one, not even to my mother--or,which is still a stronger thing, not even to my sweetheart (when I grewup to have one)--but that Betty being wronged in the matter of marriage,a generation or two agone, by a man who came hedging and ditching, hadnow no mercy, except to believe that men from cradle to grave are liars,and women fools to look at them.
When Betty could find no crime of mine, she knocked me out of the way ina minute, as if I had been nobody; and then she began to coax 'MistressAnnie,' as she always called her, and draw the soft hair down her hands,and whisper into the little ears. Meanwhile, dear mother was fallingasleep, having been troubled so much about me; and Watch, my father'spet dog, was nodding closer and closer up into her lap.
'Now, Annie, will you come?' I said, for I wanted her to hold the ladlefor melting of the lead; 'will you come at once, Annie? or must I go forLizzie, and let her see the whole of it?'
'Indeed, then, you won't do that,' said Annie; 'Lizzie to come beforeme, John; and she can't stir a pot of brewis, and scarce knows a tonguefrom a ham, John, and says it makes no difference, because both aregood to eat! Oh, Betty, what do you think of that to come of all herbook-learning?'
'Thank God he can't say that of me,' Betty answered shortly, for shenever cared about argument, except on her own side; 'thank he, I says,every marning a'most, never to lead me astray so. Men is desaving and sois galanies; but the most desaving of all is books, with their headsand tails, and the speckots in 'em, lik a peg as have taken the maisles.Some folk purtends to laugh and cry over them. God forgive them forliars!'
It was part of Betty's obstinacy that she never would believe in readingor the possibility of it, but stoutly maintained to the very last thatpeople first learned things by heart, and then pretended to make themout from patterns done upon paper, for the sake of astonishing honestfolk just as do the conjurers. And even to see the parson and clerk wasnot enough to convince her; all she said was, 'It made no odds, theywere all the same as the rest of us.' And now that she had been onthe farm nigh upon forty years, and had nursed my father, and made hisclothes, and all that he had to eat, and then put him in his coffin, shewas come to such authority, that it was not worth the wages of the bestman on the place to say a word in answer to Betty, even if he would facethe risk to have ten for one, or twenty.
Annie was her love and joy. For Annie she would do anything, even so faras to try to smile, when the little maid laughed and danced to her. Andin truth I know not how it was, but every one was taken with Annie atthe very first time of seeing her. She had such pretty ways and manners,and such a look of kindness, and a sweet soft light in her long blueeyes full of trustful gladness. Everybody who looked at her seemed togrow the better for it, because she knew no evil. And then the turn shehad for cooking, you never would have expected it; and how it was herrichest mirth to see that she had pleased you. I have been out on theworld a vast deal as you will own hereafter, and yet have I never seenAnnie's equal for making a weary man comfortable.
Lorna Doone: A Romance of Exmoor Page 7