CHAPTER XXV
A GREAT MAN ATTENDS TO BUSINESS
Having seen Lord Russell murdered in the fields of Lincoln's Inn, orrather having gone to see it, but turned away with a sickness and abitter flood of tears--for a whiter and a nobler neck never fellbefore low beast--I strode away towards Westminster, cured of half myindignation at the death of Charles the First. Many people hurried pastme, chiefly of the more tender sort, revolting at the butchery. In theirghastly faces, as they turned them back, lest the sight should be comingafter them, great sorrow was to be seen, and horror, and pity, and someanger.
In Westminster Hall I found nobody; not even the crowd of crawlingvarlets, who used to be craving evermore for employment or for payment.I knocked at three doors, one after other, of lobbies going out of it,where I had formerly seen some officers and people pressing in and out,but for my trouble I took nothing, except some thumps from echo. And atlast an old man told me that all the lawyers were gone to see the resultof their own works, in the fields of Lincoln's Inn.
However, in a few days' time, I had better fortune; for the court wassitting and full of business, to clear off the arrears of work, beforethe lawyers' holiday. As I was waiting in the hall for a good occasion,a man with horsehair on his head, and a long blue bag in his left hand,touched me gently on the arm, and led me into a quiet place. I followedhim very gladly, being confident that he came to me with a message fromthe Justiciaries. But after taking pains to be sure that none couldoverhear us, he turned on me suddenly, and asked,--
'Now, John, how is your dear mother?'
'Worshipful sir' I answered him, after recovering from my surprise athis knowledge of our affairs, and kindly interest in them, 'it is twomonths now since I have seen her. Would to God that I only knew how sheis faring now, and how the business of the farm goes!'
'Sir, I respect and admire you,' the old gentleman replied, with abow very low and genteel; 'few young court-gallants of our time are soreverent and dutiful. Oh, how I did love my mother!' Here he turned uphis eyes to heaven, in a manner that made me feel for him and yet with akind of wonder.
'I am very sorry for you, sir,' I answered most respectfully, notmeaning to trespass on his grief, yet wondering at his mother's age; forhe seemed to be at least threescore; 'but I am no court-gallant, sir; Iam only a farmer's son, and learning how to farm a little.'
'Enough, John; quite enough,' he cried, 'I can read it in thycountenance. Honesty is written there, and courage and simplicity. But Ifear that, in this town of London, thou art apt to be taken in by peopleof no principle. Ah me! Ah me! The world is bad, and I am too old toimprove it.'
Then finding him so good and kind, and anxious to improve the age, Itold him almost everything; how much I paid the fellmonger, and all thethings I had been to see; and how I longed to get away, before the cornwas ripening; yet how (despite of these desires) I felt myself bound towalk up and down, being under a thing called 'recognisance.' In short,I told him everything; except the nature of my summons (which I had noright to tell), and that I was out of money.
My tale was told in a little archway, apart from other lawyers; and theother lawyers seemed to me to shift themselves, and to look askew, likesheep through a hurdle, when the rest are feeding.
'What! Good God!' my lawyer cried, smiting his breast indignantly with aroll of something learned; 'in what country do we live? Under whatlaws are we governed? No case before the court whatever; no primarydeposition, so far as we are furnished; not even a King's writissued--and here we have a fine young man dragged from his home andadoring mother, during the height of agriculture, at his own cost andcharges! I have heard of many grievances; but this the very worst ofall. Nothing short of a Royal Commission could be warranty for it. Thisis not only illegal, sir, but most gravely unconstitutional.'
'I had not told you, worthy sir,' I answered him, in a lower tone, 'if Icould have thought that your sense of right would be moved so painfully.But now I must beg to leave you, sir--for I see that the door again isopen. I beg you, worshipful sir, to accept--'
Upon this he put forth his hand and said, 'Nay, nay, my son, not two,not two:' yet looking away, that he might not scare me.
'To accept, kind sir, my very best thanks, and most respectfulremembrances.' And with that, I laid my hand in his. 'And if, sir, anycircumstances of business or of pleasure should bring you to our partof the world, I trust you will not forget that my mother and myself (ifever I get home again) will do our best to make you comfortable with ourpoor hospitality.'
With this I was hasting away from him, but he held my hand and lookedround at me. And he spoke without cordiality.
'Young man, a general invitation is no entry for my fee book. I havespent a good hour of business-time in mastering thy case, and statingmy opinion of it. And being a member of the bar, called six-and-thirtyyears agone by the honourable society of the Inner Temple, my fee isat my own discretion albeit an honorarium. For the honour of theprofession, and my position in it, I ought to charge thee at least fiveguineas, although I would have accepted one, offered with good willand delicacy. Now I will enter it two, my son, and half a crown for myclerk's fee.'
Saying this, he drew forth from his deep, blue bag, a red book havingclasps to it, and endorsed in gold letters 'Fee-book'; and before Icould speak (being frightened so) he had entered on a page of it, 'Toconsideration of ease as stated by John Ridd, and advising thereupon,two guineas.'
'But sir, good sir,' I stammered forth, not having two guineas left inthe world, yet grieving to confess it, 'I knew not that I was to pay,learned sir. I never thought of it in that way.'
'Wounds of God! In what way thought you that a lawyer listened to yourrigmarole?'
'I thought that you listened from kindness, sir, and compassion of mygrievous case, and a sort of liking for me.'
'A lawyer like thee, young curmudgeon! A lawyer afford to feelcompassion gratis! Either thou art a very deep knave, or the greenest ofall greenhorns. Well, I suppose, I must let thee off for one guinea, andthe clerk's fee. A bad business, a shocking business!'
Now, if this man had continued kind and soft, as when he heard my story,I would have pawned my clothes to pay him, rather than leave a debtbehind, although contracted unwittingly. But when he used harsh languageso, knowing that I did not deserve it, I began to doubt within myselfwhether he deserved my money. Therefore I answered him with somereadiness, such as comes sometimes to me, although I am so slow.
'Sir, I am no curmudgeon: if a young man had called me so, it would nothave been well with him. This money shall be paid, if due, albeit Ihad no desire to incur the debt. You have advised me that the Courtis liable for my expenses, so far as they be reasonable. If this bea reasonable expense, come with me now to Lord Justice Jeffreys, andreceive from him the two guineas, or (it may be) five, for the counselyou have given me to deny his jurisdiction.' With these words, I tookhis arm to lead him, for the door was open still.
'In the name of God, boy, let me go. Worthy sir, pray let me go. My wifeis sick, and my daughter dying--in the name of God, sir, let me go.'
'Nay, nay,' I said, having fast hold of him, 'I cannot let thee gounpaid, sir. Right is right; and thou shalt have it.'
'Ruin is what I shall have, boy, if you drag me before that devil. Hewill strike me from the bar at once, and starve me, and all my family.Here, lad, good lad, take these two guineas. Thou hast despoiledthe spoiler. Never again will I trust mine eyes for knowledge of agreenhorn.'
He slipped two guineas into the hand which I had hooked through hiselbow, and spoke in an urgent whisper again, for the people camecrowding around us--'For God's sake let me go, boy; another moment willbe too late.'
'Learned sir,' I answered him, 'twice you spoke, unless I err, of thenecessity of a clerk's fee, as a thing to be lamented.'
'To be sure, to be sure, my son. You have a clerk as much as I have.There it is. Now I pray thee, take to the study of the law. Possessionis nine points of it, which thou hast of me. Self-possession
is thetenth, and that thou hast more than the other nine.'
Being flattered by this, and by the feeling of the two guineas andhalf-crown, I dropped my hold upon Counsellor Kitch (for he was no lessa man than that), and he was out of sight in a second of time, wig, bluebag, and family. And before I had time to make up my mind what I shoulddo with his money (for of course I meant not to keep it) the crier ofthe Court (as they told me) came out, and wanted to know who I was. Itold him, as shortly as I could, that my business lay with His Majesty'sbench, and was very confidential; upon which he took me inside withwarning, and showed me to an under-clerk, who showed me to a higher one,and the higher clerk to the head one.
When this gentleman understood all about my business (which I told himwithout complaint) he frowned at me very heavily, as if I had done himan injury.
'John Ridd,' he asked me with a stern glance, 'is it your deliberatedesire to be brought into the presence of the Lord Chief Justice?'
'Surely, sir, it has been my desire for the last two months and more.'
'Then, John, thou shalt be. But mind one thing, not a word of thy longdetention, or thou mayst get into trouble.'
'How, sir? For being detained against my own wish?' I asked him; but heturned away, as if that matter were not worth his arguing, as, indeed, Isuppose it was not, and led me through a little passage to a door with acurtain across it.
'Now, if my Lord cross-question you,' the gentleman whispered to me,'answer him straight out truth at once, for he will have it out ofthee. And mind, he loves not to be contradicted, neither can he bear ahang-dog look. Take little heed of the other two; but note every word ofthe middle one; and never make him speak twice.'
I thanked him for his good advice, as he moved the curtain and thrust mein, but instead of entering withdrew, and left me to bear the brunt ofit.
The chamber was not very large, though lofty to my eyes, and dark, withwooden panels round it. At the further end were some raised seats, suchas I have seen in churches, lined with velvet, and having broad elbows,and a canopy over the middle seat. There were only three men sittinghere, one in the centre, and one on each side; and all three were doneup wonderfully with fur, and robes of state, and curls of thick grayhorsehair, crimped and gathered, and plaited down to their shoulders.Each man had an oak desk before him, set at a little distance, andspread with pens and papers. Instead of writing, however, they seemedto be laughing and talking, or rather the one in the middle seemed tobe telling some good story, which the others received with approval. Byreason of their great perukes it was hard to tell how old they were; butthe one who was speaking seemed the youngest, although he was the chiefof them. A thick-set, burly, and bulky man, with a blotchy broad face,and great square jaws, and fierce eyes full of blazes; he was one to bedreaded by gentle souls, and to be abhorred by the noble.
Between me and the three lord judges, some few lawyers were gathering upbags and papers and pens and so forth, from a narrow table in the middleof the room, as if a case had been disposed of, and no other were calledon. But before I had time to look round twice, the stout fierce manespied me, and shouted out with a flashing stare'--
'How now, countryman, who art thou?'
'May it please your worship,' I answered him loudly, 'I am John Ridd, ofOare parish, in the shire of Somerset, brought to this London, some twomonths back by a special messenger, whose name is Jeremy Stickles;and then bound over to be at hand and ready, when called upon to giveevidence, in a matter unknown to me, but touching the peace of our lordthe King, and the well-being of his subjects. Three times I have met ourlord the King, but he hath said nothing about his peace, and only heldit towards me, and every day, save Sunday, I have walked up and down thegreat hall of Westminster, all the business part of the day, expectingto be called upon, yet no one hath called upon me. And now I desire toask your worship, whether I may go home again?'
'Well, done, John,' replied his lordship, while I was panting with allthis speech; 'I will go bail for thee, John, thou hast never made sucha long speech before; and thou art a spunky Briton, or thou couldst nothave made it now. I remember the matter well, and I myself will attendto it, although it arose before my time'--he was but newly ChiefJustice--'but I cannot take it now, John. There is no fear of losingthee, John, any more than the Tower of London. I grieve for HisMajesty's exchequer, after keeping thee two months or more.'
'Nay, my lord, I crave your pardon. My mother hath been keeping me. Nota groat have I received.'
'Spank, is it so?' his lordship cried, in a voice that shook thecobwebs, and the frown on his brow shook the hearts of men, and mine asmuch as the rest of them,--'Spank, is His Majesty come to this, that hestarves his own approvers?'
'My lord, my lord,' whispered Mr. Spank, the chief-officer of evidence,'the thing hath been overlooked, my lord, among such grave matters oftreason.'
'I will overlook thy head, foul Spank, on a spike from Temple Bar, ifever I hear of the like again. Vile varlet, what art thou paid for? Thouhast swindled the money thyself, foul Spank; I know thee, though thouart new to me. Bitter is the day for thee that ever I came across thee.Answer me not--one word more and I will have thee on a hurdle.' And heswung himself to and fro on his bench, with both hands on his knees; andevery man waited to let it pass, knowing better than to speak to him.
'John Ridd,' said the Lord Chief Justice, at last recovering a sort ofdignity, yet daring Spank from the corners of his eyes to do so much aslook at him, 'thou hast been shamefully used, John Ridd. Answer me notboy; not a word; but go to Master Spank, and let me know how he behavesto thee;' here he made a glance at Spank, which was worth at least tenpounds to me; 'be thou here again to-morrow, and before any other caseis taken, I will see justice done to thee. Now be off boy; thy name isRidd, and we are well rid of thee.'
I was only too glad to go, after all this tempest; as you may wellsuppose. For if ever I saw a man's eyes become two holes for the devilto glare from, I saw it that day; and the eyes were those of the LordChief Justice Jeffreys.
Mr. Spank was in the lobby before me, and before I had recoveredmyself--for I was vexed with my own terror--he came up sidling andfawning to me, with a heavy bag of yellow leather.
'Good Master Ridd, take it all, take it all, and say a good word for meto his lordship. He hath taken a strange fancy to thee; and thou mustmake the most of it. We never saw man meet him eye to eye so, and yetnot contradict him, and that is just what he loveth. Abide in London,Master Ridd, and he will make thy fortune. His joke upon thy name provesthat. And I pray you remember, Master Ridd, that the Spanks are sixteenin family.'
But I would not take the bag from him, regarding it as a sort of bribeto pay me such a lump of money, without so much as asking how great hadbeen my expenses. Therefore I only told him that if he would kindly keepthe cash for me until the morrow, I would spend the rest of the day incounting (which always is sore work with me) how much it had stood me inboard and lodging, since Master Stickles had rendered me up; for untilthat time he had borne my expenses. In the morning I would give Mr.Spank a memorandum, duly signed, and attested by my landlord, includingthe breakfast of that day, and in exchange for this I would take theexact amount from the yellow bag, and be very thankful for it.
'If that is thy way of using opportunity,' said Spank, looking at mewith some contempt, 'thou wilt never thrive in these times, my lad. Eventhe Lord Chief Justice can be little help to thee; unless thou knowestbetter than that how to help thyself.'
It mattered not to me. The word 'approver' stuck in my gorge, as usedby the Lord Chief Justice; for we looked upon an approver as a very lowthing indeed. I would rather pay for every breakfast, and even everydinner, eaten by me since here I came, than take money as an approver.And indeed I was much disappointed at being taken in that light, havingunderstood that I was sent for as a trusty subject, and humble friend ofHis Majesty.
In the morning I met Mr. Spank waiting for me at the entrance, and verydesirous to see me. I showed him my bill, made out in fair copy,
andhe laughed at it, and said, 'Take it twice over, Master Ridd; once forthine own sake, and once for His Majesty's; as all his loyal tradesmendo, when they can get any. His Majesty knows and is proud of it, forit shows their love of his countenance; and he says, "bis dat qui citodat," then how can I grumble at giving twice, when I give so slowly?'
'Nay, I will take it but once,' I said; 'if His Majesty loves to berobbed, he need not lack of his desire, while the Spanks are sixteen infamily.'
The clerk smiled cheerfully at this, being proud of his children'sability; and then having paid my account, he whispered,--
'He is all alone this morning, John, and in rare good humour. He hathbeen promised the handling of poor Master Algernon Sidney, and hesays he will soon make republic of him; for his state shall shortly beheadless. He is chuckling over his joke, like a pig with a nut; and thatalways makes him pleasant. John Ridd, my lord!' With that he swung upthe curtain bravely, and according to special orders, I stood, face toface, and alone with Judge Jeffreys.
Lorna Doone: A Romance of Exmoor Page 26