“What are you going to do about sleeping arrangements?”
Well, not quite where I thought he was going to start. We’re full to the seams already, and he’s right, I hadn’t considered where Violet and the baby would bed down. Or more to the point, where I would go. I wouldn’t be staying with them, and if anyone was sleeping on a couch, it wouldn’t be her.
“They can have my room,” I tell him, as though it had already been decided.
“Nah. You stay where you are. Not much point when there’s my old bedroom staying empty.”
When Hell had been the Prez, he’d slept there more often than not. While I don’t know the details, for some reason he’d avoided sleeping at home over the past year or so. Since he and Moira have gotten on the same page though, he’s right, the room has rarely been used.
“If she’s going to be stayin’ a while, and my suspicions are that she will be, tell her to get it set up as she wants. Or,” he pauses, and his eyes land firmly on my face, “she could move in with me and Mo. Your mom would love having a kid to fuss over.”
Yeah, she would. I haven’t provided her with grandkids, nor have any inclination to do so in the future, a pronouncement which hadn’t gone down well. It’s a good suggestion, but if Mo got a whiff of what Hell’s been suggesting, she might take a hold of the idea and not want to give it up. There’s also a valid reason why I should turn the offer down.
“I’m not easy with bringing Mom into it, Hell. Sure, your house might be more comfortable for Violet, but what if Angel finds out where she’s staying? Mom could end up right in the firing line. He’s going to be angry she’s dropped out of sight as it is.”
“It wasn’t picked up on in church, but how did he know she was pregnant? Just luckily spotted her and put two and two together, or has he got eyes on her? And if so, why?”
Hell’s as sharp as he ever was.
I rub my nose. “Can’t deny I’m not worried about that.”
“So he might already know exactly where she is.”
Yeah. He might. “I think, if he does, we’ll soon hear about it. As far as the Silvestri know there’s no connection between us and the Palmers, no reason for loyalty to Violet. I’d put money on him talking rather than an attack on the compound to try to take her.”
“You don’t think we need to be prepared?”
“What would you do, Hell?” I’ve taken his place; doesn’t mean I’m not going to take his advice on the direction I’m steering.
He bows his head, his hands pushing back through the hair that’s more silver than black nowadays. “They outnumber us, that’s the problem. They have the muscle, but we have the brains. We co-exist because we’re useful to each other. We control this part of town and they know it. Angel might want his son, but what benefit is it to the family to take us out? He might end up with the kid, but the fallback would mean they left bodies stacked up to achieve it.”
I agree. I can’t see how Theo can be that important, to anyone other than Angel.
Hell resumes, “Meeting with the don is the right way to go about it. I think the odds are low he has eyes on them, otherwise they’d have taken the kid when Violet had handed him over. That’s where the fight would have been. Could he track her by her phone? Might need Cad to look into that.”
“She got rid of it, changed her number and bought a new one.”
His lips press together as he nods. “Then that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“We play the meeting by ear, Hell. See if they show us their cards.”
“You going to be okay with that, Demon? You going to be able to keep your hands off Angel when you see him, knowing what he did to Vi? If you can’t control yourself, you’re going to have to step away and let someone else go.”
“I can keep myself in check. Yeah, so it’s not right what he did. But he’s not the first to date rape a woman and won’t be the last.” I shrug, trying to brush off the fact it was Violet who’d been his victim. “Can’t go around offing all such bastards, I’m no fuckin’ Robin Hood.”
A glance at Hell’s face shows he’s not buying it. An indrawn breath let out as a sigh shows a father’s exasperation. “Demon, I know you didn’t like my suggestion. Can appreciate you have reasons. We have a few days before we can get a meet with them; don’t dismiss the option out of hand. I still think you putting your name on her is a good way to get Silvestri to back off. Without DNA evidence he can’t claim the kid. You claiming her puts her under our protection, it will be them declaring war if they want to object. Might not be important enough to them. Angel might be out on his own with no support.”
“He’s clearly not frightened of the courts, Hell. They’ve decided twice in his favour so far. He can go back and demand DNA testing. Don’t forget he’s already been cleared of rape and has been given co-parenting rights.”
“Seems to me someone else has to step up and claim to be the father. Only thing to prove it’s not so would be DNA tests. And that, someone like Angel wouldn’t want to provide. He gives a sample? His DNA would be in the system.”
“I’m not particularly keen on my own being taken either. You’re forgetting, it’s also mine that wouldn’t be a match. In the end, what you’re asking me to do is a complete fabrication, Hell. You’re asking me to live a lie. I can’t do that.” Angrily I stand, sliding my chair into the table, a sign I won’t be sitting back down. “Convince him I’m in love with her? That I had an affair with her? That the kid’s mine? Fuck, Hell. How the fuck do I do that?”
He stands too. “You’ve had an example right there in front of you all of your goddamn life. You copy your mom and me. Shouldn’t be that difficult.” His face has reddened. “You treat that kid the same way I fuckin’ treated you. You think living a lie isn’t worth it if it’s done for the right reasons?”
“You really think I should do this?” I round on him, furious. “Throw the next eighteen years of my life away on something that wasn’t my mistake?”
“I invested the last fucking thirty-six years in doing the same thing,” he rasps back.
I send a wary glance toward his hands bunched into fists. A throwdown with my father isn’t what I want to get into, but the way this is going, I may need to take the old man on.
“You loved Mo from the start,” I throw at him, taking a warning step closer. “Don’t compare Vi and me to you and Mom.”
“Perhaps I just needed something to make me step up and claim her! To show me what was right in front of my eyes.”
My fist rises, but instead of hitting him, smashes down on the table. “I’m not marrying Vi to make a ready-made family to satisfy you and Mo’s desire for a grandkid, Dad. The circumstances are totally different.”
For an answer he throws up his hands, a very similar gesture to that when I was a teenager; a parent’s I can’t talk to you while you’re in this mood dismissal. Then, with one last glare, he leaves.
Christ. We get on so well it’s been years since we last argued. At least he’d walked out before it had come to exchanging blows. He might have twenty years on me, but I’m not sure who’d come out the winner.
Pulling out my chair, I sink down onto it, lean forward and put my head in my hands, rage slowly seeping out of my body. I am not my father. Definitely not my real one—I’ve never had any inclination to put my dick where it’s not wanted. But I don’t resemble Hell either, never wanting to settle down and be a family man, and not prepared to play dad to a kid I hadn’t fathered.
If I forced Violet into a relationship to fight alongside her, I’d not be able to go with the whores, the hangarounds who come to our parties, the booty calls I rely on in town. Fuck, my cock couldn’t go anywhere. I’ve not gone without sex for more than a day in all of my adult life. Fucking’s a hobby for me. If I was to be faithful, I couldn’t be celibate. Fucking Vi wouldn’t be any problem for me, but there’s no chance she has reciprocal feelings. She’s clearly outgrown her teenage fascination with me. How does she see me now? A m
an, much older than her, who leads an MC. She doesn’t want me like that, but pretending, being close to her, being celibate when all I’d want to do is strip her clothes off? Would desperation lead me to press my case just like my sperm donor? And would she simply comply, lay there and take it, because it’s all to protect her son? Angelino’s already ruined her life, I can’t add to her woes.
Fuck, there’s no chance she’d agree even if I asked her. I’m an outlaw biker with no knowledge of parenting. Not much different to the criminal who’s fighting her for custody.
Chapter Ten
Violet
When I’d been introduced to Jayden I’d taken to her almost immediately. My admiration for her grows the more I speak with her. She’s shown she possesses a wisdom, and a knack for looking after children, that belies her years. Quite calmly she told me a little of her background, so much worse than the one-night stand I luckily have no recollection of. Sharing our confidences has begun to forge a connection between us. So much so, that when she took a fussing baby from me and he immediately quieted, I didn’t feel jealousy, just relief.
“You have a way with kids,” I observe.
“Practice.” She grins, then grimaces. “I just wish I could go down to Tucson and see my new niece, Faith, but it’s too dangerous for me to show my face there. And Ella doesn’t want to travel here with a newborn. Hopefully it won’t be long before they visit. Mo’s already assured me Ella and Slick can stay with her.” As she places a kiss on Theo’s sleeping head, the faraway look in her eyes suggests she’s dreaming of holding her niece the same way.
“Any kids in your future?”
“Huh. Not yet. Eventually, I suppose. But I’m in no hurry. Pal and I are just enjoying getting our relationship established first. I’m only seventeen, I can afford to live that much again before I even start thinking I’m running out of time.”
It’s not the first instance that she’s had to remind me. Her maturity makes me feel like I’m talking to someone my own age. I’d already place good money on a bet that if I stay here, I reckon we’ll become good friends. That’s not even a possibility though; Theo and I need to move away, start afresh. I can’t, and don’t want to, presume on Demon’s hospitality, or not for too long. With my carnal thoughts about him, it bugs me he looks at me as nothing more than the sister of his old friend.
Eyeing the direction he’d gone off in, I ask, “Do you know what time the men will get out of their meeting?”
“Church? No. Could be any time. Depends what they have to discuss.”
‘Church’? That word again. “I didn’t take Demon as a man much for prayers.”
Jay giggles. “It’s just what they call their meetings. Bikes could be a sort of religion, I suppose.”
A brief shared moment of mirth, but my merriment soon disappears, knowing what the men are discussing will be me. While I don’t like the story of my stupidity being shared, I do hope Demon’s finding a discreet way to let them know I’m not a bad mother. I hated the way they all looked at me earlier. Understood it, of course, but they didn’t know that the last thing I’d do is leave my son unless I saw no other option, that I’d been at the end of my tether, seeing no other way out.
As the baby sleeps on and Jay seems happy enough to hold him, I relax back and think less of my predicament and more of Demon, the man who’s swept in and turned my life upside down. He’s given me hope for the first time in what seems like forever. I remember him better as Dave; the man he is now is like a stranger, wearing a similar, but not exact, exterior to Nathan’s companion of the past. He’s broadened and muscled up, his chiselled face gotten more defined. There’s no doubt the extra years suit him.
The only thing I’m having difficulty processing is his new name. I could never see him as demonic and hate the handle passing my lips. He seems to insist on it, though. Maybe there’s a compromise?
My stomach growls loudly interrupting my thoughts and making Jay chuckle. She bats my arm. “Look, I have Theo. Why don’t you go get something to eat? You’ll hear him if he wakes.”
I certainly would. No one could say he didn’t have a good set of lungs. I glance to the kitchen, hearing the female voices, hunger fighting with reluctance. She’s expecting me to take her up on the offer, so I lean into her conspiratorially, admitting, “Jeannie scares me.”
Jay gives a small laugh again, softly so she doesn’t wake Theo. “Yeah, she scared me too, at first. But she’s okay once you get used to her.”
Nevertheless. While they haven’t yet interrogated me, I’m still expecting an inquisition, and I’m not sure how much I should tell them.
“I’ll wait for D,” I decide out loud.
“D?”
Yes. That had been my inspiration, and to me, my reasoning is sound. “Always knew him as Dave growing up. It’s hard for me to now think of him as Demon—he doesn’t like me reminding him of his real name, so my compromise is to call him ‘D’.”
“Pal’s real name is Dominic. I quite like that. But he’s been Pal to me forever, don’t think I could call him anything else.”
The sounds of a door banging open and loud voices interrupt our conversation, alerting me that church—a misnomer for their meetings, rather than any religious assembly—is out. I look around, hoping to see the man I’ve been waiting for. I have questions to ask about what’s going to happen to my son and myself. I don’t see the one I want to see most, and my face starts to burn as each man walking through the clubroom looks at me as he passes.
Their expressions are mixed, but mostly, that disapproval they’d shown earlier is thankfully missing. Some look sympathetic, some inquisitive, and a few, for some reason, are nudging each other and looking amused.
I try to keep my head down and ignore them but can’t prevent myself looking up from time to time to see whether Demon has emerged.
I sit, fidgeting, wishing Theo would wake to give me something to do. But after a good feed of formula, it’s not uncommon for him to sleep like the dead for a few hours. My hands twist in my lap; I stare at them, not wanting to meet the eyes of the men milling around, nor wishing to be their audience as they start to get over-familiar with the scantily-clad women who’ve emerged from wherever they’ve been hiding as though summoned. Bottles are clanking, voices are getting louder, but still my son sleeps on.
I risk another glance toward the hallway; this time I find a man making a beeline for me. It’s not the man I’m waiting for, but his father. He still has the ability to make me feel like a little kid, his presence sending me back in time to when I was a young child hanging around with the boys in his house. I find myself automatically standing.
“Er, Mr Black.”
“Fuck, girl. Call me Hellfire or Hell.” He smiles as he says it. “You got a moment?”
I half turn; Jay’s already nodding. “You go ahead. I’ve got the little man.”
“Come.” Without explanation, Demon’s dad, Hellfire, strides off toward the stairs without checking to see that I’m following him, which, of course, I am. He takes me down the same long corridor where Demon has his room, passing that one, then pauses at a door at the end. Taking out a key he unlocks it. “You been warned about Bitch?”
“The cat, er, yes.” I found the bundle of fur quite cute and wouldn’t mind her entering my room. My only concern is with Theo, thinking I’ll need to watch him carefully around her. He’s not been in contact with animals before and I’ll have to be on the lookout for any allergies.
“Well, remember to always lock your door. Can’t be too careful with that one around. She has a knack of opening handles if the door isn’t locked.”
“Have you thought of turning the handles up the other way?” He shoots me a look with his eyebrows raised. Guess they haven’t. It’s an easier topic than any other we might land on, so I pry for more information. “Why’s she here?” It seems odd, if she hates men so much, why do they keep her?
He chuckles, a sound which comes from deep down in his throat
. “Like all of us, she walked in, seemed to like it, and made her home here. Tolerate her as she catches mice. Well, occasionally.” His grin broadens. “Fuckin’ shame we couldn’t make her prospect, she’d wouldn’t have gotten her patch and we could have parted ways with her.”
“That’s mean, Mr er, Hellfire.”
“But true,” he insists.
Bitch seems to like women and children. I’d like Theo to grow up with a pet, but perhaps one with a more child appropriate name. Luckily he won’t be here when he starts to talk. I could just imagine how that would go down at school when the teacher asked for the name of his cat.
I stop daydreaming when I realise Hellfire’s talking to me.
“Right. This is my room, but I don’t use it anymore. Haven’t for a few months now. There are clean sheets on the bed, and more than enough room for you to set up a crib. Bathroom’s through here.” He opens another door while I’m standing bewildered.
“I’m going to stay in here?”
“Yes. That’s the proposal. You can get it set up just how you want. Do what you like with it.” He turns to face me and there’s a twinkle in his eye. “Or were you expecting to stay with Demon?”
Just what is he asking? I blush. This is the father of the man I secretly lust over. He can’t be asking if I want to sleep with his son, is he?
“Er, no.” I cough to cover the fact my voice has come out as a squeak. “No,” I manage in a more normal tone. “If you’re sure we’re not imposing, this room will be fine. But I won’t be here long enough to rearrange it. We’ll be gone as soon as we can.”
I look around the room that seems more than adequate, knowing my son and I could certainly be comfortable here. But I can’t view it as anything other than temporary. I’ll give myself a break, a moment to process that today’s plan hadn’t worked. But soon, I’ll need to make a fresh one. Maybe Demon can help me get a new identity and move out of state? There’s no one I need to stay in contact with, so no reason to hang onto my birth name. Theo and I can start a new life somewhere different. Unfortunately, it’s not as if I need to visit my mom, she wouldn’t know whether I was there or not. That’s a fact which hurts, but a true one.
Satan's Devils MC Colorado Boxset 1 Books 1 - 3 Page 47