Selected Poems

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Selected Poems Page 6

by Don Paterson


  of this evening’s address: the reading.

  It was not a good poem, if I say so myself.

  As good as the fee, though, and better

  than him who that day bought my praises: a man

  of so little virtue to sing of

  I ended up fleshing it out, as you do,

  with something I’d found in the drawer –

  a hymn that I’d made a while back, for the twin sons

  of Leda, the Dioscuri.

  At the feast he had held in his own dubious honour

  the little king signed me to start;

  but though they were quiet for my halfbaked encomium –

  applauding like seals when I’d finished –

  his guests, when I started to read from my own stuff,

  returned to their wolfing and hollering.

  The king, though, was silent. My lyric economies

  had not, so it seemed, gone unnoticed.

  When he offered me only one-half the struck price,

  I made too much show of my anger

  knowing, I dare say, his wrath the more just –

  but right then I seemed to go deaf;

  every eye turned on me, narrowed – at which point

  I thought it a smart move to drop it.

  However, I fixed each man’s face in my mind,

  each man at his rank at the table

  (that trick of mine; your coupons, O my rapt listeners,

  I’ll have nailed by the end of this poem).

  Then this. A young slave-girl ran into the hall

  then right up to me, with this message:

  two golden-haired boys had arrived at the gate,

  and wanted to talk with me. Urgently.

  I asked that I might be excused, a small boon

  they were more than delighted to grant,

  and took a slow stroll to the gate. I found no one.

  Bloody kids. I turned back to the hall

  and cursed them to heaven. Heaven replied

  without hesitation or stint: a great thunderbolt

  aimed not at me, but the ridgepole.

  The roof groaned and splintered, sagged for a moment

  then cracked, and came down on the lot of them.

  After the dust and the sirens had died

  the wives all came wailing and weeping

  to claim what they could of their tenderised menfolk.

  Alas, they were all so disfigured

  no one could work out whose husband was whose.

  Of course I could. The redbeard? Just there,

  by the fire. And the scarface? The door. And the hawknose?

  Poor woman: look under your feet.

  I picked my way down to head of the table

  and held the fixed gaze of my patron

  as I knelt in the rafters and carefully counted

  the rest of my fee from his purse.

  The Rat

  A young man wrote a poem about a rat.

  It was the best poem ever written about a rat.

  To read it was to ask the rat to perch

  on the arm of your chair until you turned the page.

  So we wrote to him, but heard nothing; we called,

  and called again; then finally we sailed

  to the island where he kept the only shop

  and rapped his door until he opened up.

  We took away his poems. Our hands shook

  with excitement. We read them on lightboxes,

  under great lamps. They were not much good.

  So then we offered what advice we could

  on his tropes and turns, his metrical comportment,

  on the wedding of the word to the event,

  and suggested that he might read this or that.

  We said Now: write us more poems like The Rat.

  All we got was cheek from him. Then silence.

  We gave up on him. Him with his green arrogance

  and ingratitude and his one lucky strike.

  But today I read The Rat again. Its reek

  announced it; then I saw its pisshole stare;

  line by line it strained into the air.

  Then it hissed. For all the craft and clever-clever

  you did not write me, fool. Nor will you ever.

  The Box

  If it can stay

  at its post,

  cross-braced

  between

  the world

  and the

  weather

  this one

  will see

  me out:

  behold

  its dark

  scoured

  innards,

  fragrant

  with tea

  and rust,

  its drum-tight

  blown-egg feel, the cone

  of air before it, wired and tense

  as a lover by a telephone. Bert

  Kwakkel, my Dutch

  luthier, emptied

  so much wood out of the wood

  it takes no more than a dropped shoe

  or a cleared throat on the hall landing

  to set its little blue moan off again.

  I port it to its stand. I let it

  still. I contemplate it

  like a skull.

  A Gift

  That night she called his name, not mine

  and could not call it back

  I shamed myself, and thought of that blind

  girl in Kodiak

  who sat out on the stoop each night

  to watch the daylight fade

  and lift her child down to the gate cut

  in the palisade

  and what old caution love resigned

  when through that misty stare

  she passed the boy to not her bearskinned

  husband but the bear

  The Wreck

  But what lovers we were, what lovers,

  even when it was all over –

  the deadweight, bull-black wines we swung

  towards each other rang and rang

  like bells of blood, our own great hearts.

  We slung the drunk boat out of port

  and watched our unreal sober life

  unmoor, a continent of grief;

  the candlelight strange on our faces

  like the tiny silent blazes

  and coruscations of its wars.

  We blew them out and took the stairs

  into the night for the night’s work,

  stripped off in the timbered dark,

  gently hooked each other on

  like aqualungs, and thundered down

  to mine our lovely secret wreck.

  We surfaced later, breathless, back

  to back, then made our way alone

  up the mined beach of the dawn.

  Twinflooer

  Linnaea Borealis

  Tho’ it grows

  in oor baald east

  alane, it’s still

  sic an antrin baste

  I anely find it

  in dwam or dream,

  an catch them

  in thir lemanrie

  hunkered alow

  a wheesh’t circle

  cut clean fae

  the blackie-sang

  or lintie-sang

  as ower a cairn,

  or wirrikow

  in a field o corn.

  I pert the girss

  an’ there they are,

  the shilpit pair

  cried for him

  wha rived a kingdom

  in twa estates –

  an’ gently lift

  the pallie, lither

  bells thegither:

  twa fingertips

  tak’in up

  the exact wecht

  o nothin, licht

  as the twa-fauld name

  on yer ane jimp stem.

  Win’-balance,

  elf-cleek,

  breist o silence –

  a word hauf-swicked

  fa
e the fa’ o Babel,

  whitever it spelt

  sae slicht and nesh

  it jinked the trouble,

  and rode the jaw

  as the broch tummel’t

  t’ somehow waash

  up here, a trick

  or holy geg

  like the twa-in-yin

  breathed in the lug

  o the blin’fauld halflin.

  Lass, they say

  oor nation’s nae

  words for love

  the wiy we have

  for daith, or deil.

  Times ye feel

  the mair wi gang

  intil thon tongue –

  hidden, fey

  an’ ayebydan –

  the less wi hae

  the need o ane.

  And jist the same,

  there’s nae flooer here

  aside the yin

  I’ve here descreivit;

  yet merk this pair,

  strecht fae Ovid,

  nailed thegither

  wame to wame –

  tynt in the ither,

  ayont a’ thocht,

  a’ deed, a’ talk,

  hauf-jyned, hauf-rift:

  thir heids doverin

  unner the licht

  yock

  o the lift

  baald – bald; antrin – rare, singular; baste – beast; dwam – daydream; lemanrie – sexual or illicit love; wheesh’t – stilled; blackie – blackbird; lintie – linnet; cairn – burial mound; wirrikow – scarecrow, demon; girss – grass; shilpit – thin, weak; cried – called; rived – split; pallie – pale; lither – lazy; wecht – weight; licht – light; twa-fauld – two-fold; jimp – slender; win’ – wind; cleek – hook; swicked – cheated; slicht – slight; nesh – soft; jinked – dodged; jaw – wave, breaker; broch – tower; geg – gag, joke; twa-in-yin – supposedly ‘the horseman’s word’; blin’fauld – blindfolded; halflin – adolescent; daith – death; deil – devil; gang – go; fey – doomed; ayebydan – eternal; descreivit – described; strecht – straight; wame – belly; tynt – lost; ayont – beyond; thocht – thought; doverin – nodding in sleep; yock – yoke; lift – sky, heavens

  ’96

  her sleek

  thigh

  on my

  cheek

  a flayed

  tongue

  in the wrong

  head

  no poem

  all year

  but its dumb

  inverse

  sow’s ear

  silk purse

  The Light

  When I reached his bed he was already blind.

  Thirteen years had gone, and yet my mind

  was as dark as on my ordination day.

  Now I was shameless. I begged him for the light.

  ‘Is it not taught all is illusory?

  And still you did not guess the truth of it?

  There is no light, fool. Now have you awoken?’

  And he laughed, and then he left us. I was broken.

  I went back to my room to pack my things,

  my begging-bowl, my robe and cup; the prayer-mat

  I would leave. It lay there, frayed and framed

  in a square of late sun. And out of pure habit –

  no, less, out of nothing, for I was nothing –

  I watched myself sit down for one last time.

  The Landing

  Long months on the rising path

  I found where I’d come in

  and knew the word of heat, the breath

  of air move on my skin

  and saw the complex upper light

  divide the middle tread

  then to my left, the darker flight

  that fell back to the dead

  So like the ass between two bales

  I stopped in the half-shade

  too torn to say in which exile

  the shame was better paid

  And while I stood to dwell upon

  my empty-handed quest

  I watched the early morning sun

  send down its golden ghost

  It paused just on the lowest step

  as if upon a hinge

  then slowly drew the dark back up

  like blood in a syringe

  and suddenly I did not care

  if I had lived or died

  But then my hand fell on the lyre

  that hung dead at my side

  and with as plain a stroke I knew

  I let each gutstring sound

  and listened to the notes I drew

  go echoing underground

  then somewhere in the afternoon

  the thrush’s quick reply –

  and in that instant knew I’d found

  my perfect alibi

  No singer of the day or night

  is lucky as I am

  the dark my sounding-board, the light

  my auditorium

  Zen Sang at Dayligaun

  As aw we ken o the sternless derk

  is the warld it fa’s amang

  aw we hae o the burn and birk

  is thir broon or siller sang

  Each pair o een in lift or yird

  micht hae them by anither

  tho’ the birk chants t’ nae baist or bird

  nor burn tae human brither

  For the lyart sang’s no’ staneyraw,

  thon gowden sang’s no’ stane

  an’ there’s nae burn or birk at aw

  but jist the sang alane

  dayligaun – twilight; sternless – starless; derk – dark; birk – birch; siller – silver; een – eyes; lift – sky; yird – earth; chants – sings; baist – beast; lyart – grizzled, silvered; staneyraw – lichen; gowden – golden

  The White Lie

  I have never opened a book in my life,

  made love to a woman, picked up a knife,

  taken a drink, caught the first train

  or walked beyond the last house in the lane.

  Nor could I put a name to my own face.

  Everything we know to be the case

  draws its signal colour off the sight

  till what falls into that intellectual night

  we tunnel into this view or another

  falls as we have fallen. Blessed Mother,

  when I stand between the sunlit and the sun

  make me glass: and one night I looked down

  to find the girl look up at me and through

  me with such a radiant wonder, you

  could not read it as a compliment

  and so seek to return it. In the event

  I let us both down, failing to display

  more than a halfhearted opacity.

  She turned her face from me, and the light stalled

  between us like a sheet, a door, a wall.

  But consider this: that when we leave the room,

  the chair, the bookend or the picture-frame

  we had frozen by desire or spent desire

  is reconsumed in its estranging fire

  such that, if we slipped back by a road

  too long asleep to feel our human tread

  we would not recognise a thing by name,

  but think ourselves in Akhenaten’s tomb;

  then, as things ourselves, we would have learnt

  we are the source, not the conducting element.

  Imagine your shadow burning off the page

  as the dear world and the dead word disengage –

  in our detachment, we would surely offer

  such offence to that Love that will suffer

  no wholly isolated soul within

  its sphere, it would blast straight through our skin

  just as the day would flush out the rogue spark

  it found still holding to its private dark.

  But like our ever-present, all-wise god

  incapable of movement or of thought,

  no one at one with all the universe

  can touch one t
hing; in such supreme divorce,

  what earthly use are we to our lost brother

  when we must stay partly lost to find each other?

  Only by this – this shrewd obliquity

  of speech, the broken word and the white lie,

  do we check ourselves, as we might halt the sun

  one degree from the meridian

  then wedge it by the thickness of the book

  that everything might keep the blackedged look

  of things, and that there might be time enough

  to die in, dark to read by, distance to love.

  from

  ORPHEUS

  A version of Rilke’s

  Die Sonette an Orpheus

  Leaving

  Raise no stone to his memory. Just let

  the rose put forth each year, for his name’s sake.

  Orpheus. In time, perhaps he’ll take

  the shape of this, and then of that – and yet

  we need no other name: Orpheus, we say

  wherever the true song is manifest.

  He comes and goes. Therefore are we not blessed

  if he outlasts the flowers for a few days?

  But though his constant leaving is a torment,

  leave he must, if we’re to understand.

  So even as his voice alters the moment,

  he’s already gone where no one can pursue;

  even the lyre cannot ensnare his hands.

  And yet in this defiance, he stays true …

  Tone

  Only one who’s also raised

  his lyre among the shades

  may live to render up the praise

  that cannot fail or fade.

  Only one who tasted death’s

 

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