“I hope you’ll have whatever this is out of your system by then.”
He inhaled deeply through the nose and blew the breath out even more slowly through his mouth. Pushing back would only extend the conversation and he was almost back to the cottage. He wanted this to be over before he turned onto the small, quiet road that followed the shore of the bay.
“I’ll be in touch when I’m planning to return,” he said, not addressing her suggestion he was just going through some kind of early midlife crisis.
She had to have the last word on when he was returning—as soon as possible—and give him another reminder that he was inconveniencing his father, so he wasn’t able to disconnect the call until he was pulling into his driveway.
He did his best to shove New York City out of his head again, but it was a lot harder to do with his mother’s voice still echoing around in his mind. After grabbing his overnight bag from the back seat, he let himself into the cottage and took a deep breath.
It still smelled strongly of a woman he didn’t know, but it brought him comfort. He could almost imagine Carolina wrapping her arms around him and giving him a long, tight hug.
“Well, that’s ridiculous,” he muttered as Elinor appeared to greet him. She rubbed against his legs, leaving what looked like a quarter of her fur on his suit pants, but when he bent down to pet her, she got snippy and walked away.
He probably deserved that. “Hey, at least I didn’t board you at the shelter or someplace while I was gone. I let you stay in your home, with Meredith and Sophie taking care of you.”
She had no interest in listening to what he had to say.
Still agitated, Cam dropped his bag next to the sofa and walked straight through the cottage to the back slider. Maybe looking out over the water would soothe his nerves and help him refocus on the man he’d somehow become since arriving here.
A man with a cat. A man with a fun, sexy neighbor. A man who liked to play catch with Sophie and her yapping little dog. He was a man who sat on quilts in the grass and ate cotton candy. He had a library card.
He liked this version of himself.
Chapter Eleven
Meredith caught a glimpse of Cam standing on his back deck and froze as her pulse quickened and she felt that thrill she wanted so badly to deny, but that grew stronger every time she saw him.
He looked different tonight. The suit, of course. And even though she’d spent years around men who practically lived in business suits, the sight of Cam in his took her breath away. The man really knew how to wear a suit.
But it wasn’t just the clothing. There was a rigidity to his bearing that she could see from her window. As if every single muscle in his body was so tense he would break if he tried to bend.
Things obviously hadn’t gone well in the city and she couldn’t bear to see him so unhappy. So alone.
Sophie was already asleep, with Oscar tucked in beside her, so Meredith threw a loose sweatshirt over her tank top and shorts and slid her feet into sandals. Slowly and quietly, so as not to disturb Oscar and get him going, she slipped out through the sliding door and closed it behind her.
She was halfway across her yard when her movement caught his attention, and he raised one eyebrow as she approached, but didn’t smile.
“Welcome back,” she said when she was close enough to be heard without raising her voice.
“It’s good to be back.”
She reached his side and turned to look over the bay, as he’d been doing. The water was an inky blackness reflecting the moon and the lights of the town. “You don’t look very happy about it, to be honest.”
“I am happy to be back. I’m just having a little trouble shaking off some earlier unpleasantness.”
“I take it you were right about your parents trying to keep you from returning.”
He snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“It can’t be easy for them. The reason you’re here, I mean.”
His jaw clenched for a few seconds and she realized she’d hit a hot button. “They don’t actually know why I’m here. I told them I’ve never taken a vacation and I was spending the summer on a lake and would work remotely. That’s all they needed to know.”
She suspected there was more to it than that, but she didn’t press. “I’m sorry they can’t respect that.”
“To top it all off, Elinor is ignoring me. She came to the door and then rubbed against my leg. But when I went to pet her, she twitched her tail at me and walked away. Before I came out here, she was very deliberately sitting with her back to me.”
Meredith chuckled. “Of course she was. She’s glad you’re back, but she’s still going to punish you for being away.”
“She is a woman, after all.”
“Oh, you’re funny,” she said, but he barely managed a smile despite his attempt at humor. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like a man who could really use a hug.”
He looked startled, and then thoughtfulness settled over his face. “I had a nanny who used to hug me a lot. She was with me until it was time to go off to boarding school.”
“How long has it been since you’ve had a hug?”
“A real hug and not one of those polite social hugs? I’m not sure. I guess I went off to boarding school for sixth grade, so it’s been a while. My family’s not big on physical contact.”
She was not going to cry for this man. Families showed affection in many different ways, and not being a hugger was far from unusual. He was a man who’d obviously been raised in a world of privilege and financial security, so she couldn’t weep for him.
But she could hug him.
Meredith opened her arms as she closed the distance between them, and she saw his recognition of her intent in the widening of his eyes. When she’d wrapped her arms around him and rested her face against his chest, she realized he was holding his breath.
She squeezed a little, and then smiled when his arms wrapped around her shoulders. His chest rose and fell as it should, but she could feel his heartbeat and it was beating almost as fast as hers.
His muscles slowly relaxed, but she kept holding him until he exhaled slowly and rested his cheek against her hair.
“Hugging is nice,” he said so quietly it was almost a whisper.
“Yes, it is. And hugs are important, too. Humans need hugs sometimes.”
“Kissing is also nice.”
She laughed, the sound partially muffled by his suit coat. “So are cupcakes, but you don’t have any of those, either.”
“If you had to choose between kissing or cupcakes, which would you choose?”
“I guess it would depend on who I’m kissing. And also what kind of cupcake.” She lifted her head. “Why? Do you have cupcakes?”
“No, I don’t. And let’s say it was me you were kissing.”
She made a hmm sound, just to let him know she had to think about it. “I guess if I had to choose between kissing you or cupcakes that don’t exist, I’d choose kissing.”
“Good to know. And I’ll just point out there are currently no cupcakes, so...”
She couldn’t resist this playful, funny side of him, and when she tipped her head farther back so she could see his face, his eyes crinkled with humor. Rolling onto the balls of her feet, she lifted her mouth to his.
His arms tightened around her as their lips met, gently at first, but then with the hunger that the days since their first kiss had built up inside. His hand moved to cup the back of her neck, and she parted her lips as his tongue flicked over them.
She didn’t know how long they kissed. Until she ached with wanting him and they were both breathless. Until she was tempted to sneak him into her bedroom and very quietly put an end to the wanting.
And until Elinor stretched up and dug her claws into Cam’s lower thigh. “Ow. Cat, that really hurts.”
“I think she’s jealous,” Meredith said, backing away from him as he bent down to disengage her claws from his pants. It looked like a very expensive suit, too.
“Of course she chooses now to decide to speak to me again,” he muttered. And then he shook his head when Elinor changed her mind and went back through the cat door.
“I should go back inside, anyway.”
He straightened, frowning. “Do you have to? We could sit out here for a little while.”
“Sophie’s sleeping and I don’t know if I’d hear her if she called for me.”
“Don’t you have one of those monitor things?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “She’s six. When we decluttered before moving here, we decided it was time to let that go.”
The compulsion to push was clear on his face, but to his credit, he didn’t. “I wouldn’t want her to wake up in the house alone, so yeah.”
She could invite him into her house, but somehow she felt that would mean something she wasn’t ready for. Not that he’d be climbing into her bed or anything, but after the kiss they’d just shared, it would definitely imply a sort of intimacy.
This wasn’t a man she was supposed to be rediscovering intimacy with. She wasn’t even sure she was ready for more, and how awkward would it be to have to turn him away and then face him again? Especially since Sophie seemed to consider their backyards as one these days.
With the taste of him still on her lips, she forced them into a smile. “I really should get back inside. Let me know when you’re ready to start sorting stuff in there.”
Some of the sparkle went out of his eyes, but he nodded. “I will. And thanks for the hug.”
She knew he watched her walking away, but she tried not to feel too self-conscious. And when she reached her deck and glanced back, he lifted his hand in a wave before going inside.
After locking up and turning out the lights, Meredith flopped on her bed with a sigh. Kissing Cam a second time had done nothing to dampen the desire she felt every time she looked at him. If anything, it was going to be even worse.
She should have chosen the imaginary cupcakes.
* * *
Cam rubbed the back of his neck, which was stiff from looking down at the legal pad he’d covered with scribbled notes and calculations. Next to it sat reports from several real estate agents he’d spoken to about the property.
Carolina had taken a great deal of pride in her house being one of the only old, authentic lake cottages left on the bay, and the only one on this side of it. She’d stood fast while the others were all replaced with newer summer homes, even as her property taxes rose and took money away from maintaining it.
He appreciated that about her. He really did. But she’d left him in a fairly untenable position when it came to selling it because it needed very badly to be remodeled. It was dated and shabby and her eclectic style wasn’t going to appeal to the average buyer. Selling it as it stood would mean selling it for far less than its location merited.
He’d take a beating on the property because a prospective buyer would no doubt hold the cost of bulldozing the place against the sale price. Or, on the off chance they wanted to keep the cottage, they’d definitely want to deduct the cost of remodeling, which would be so substantial he couldn’t even wrap his head around it. But because of its location, the hard reality was that somebody—probably a local somebody—who loved the cottage the way it was most likely couldn’t afford it.
As far as he could tell, Meredith had been right and his best bet was to empty the cottage and dismantle it. He could shop around and control the demolition costs. Then do some minor improvements to the dock and driveway, before selling it off as a rare waterfront building site on Blackberry Bay.
It was all making his head hurt. He was a man who lived his life for the bottom line. Profits and losses. At the end of the day, those numbers were what mattered to the Maguire family.
But there was no denying the ache in his chest when he imagined watching this cottage being demolished. Underneath its questionable real estate value was a worth Cam didn’t have the life skills to calculate. Emotions had no place in business, but he couldn’t keep them buried inside anymore.
Too agitated to look at the numbers, he stood and stretched his back, rolling his head slowly to loosen up his neck. Then he made himself a cup of coffee and went out to the deck to drink it and maybe catch a glimpse of Elinor. She’d gone outside earlier, and he didn’t think she’d gone back inside again.
It was quiet next door. He knew they were home because Meredith’s SUV was still parked in the driveway, but he didn’t see Sophie or Oscar in the backyard. They’d screwed some kind of anchor to the deck and attached a long cable, so the dog could have the run of most of the yard without being on a leash, but he was getting better at boundaries and listening, so quite often he was allowed to run free as long as he stayed with Sophie or Meredith.
He hadn’t seen Meredith since she went back inside last night, after he kissed her. He’d thought about almost nothing except that kiss—and how much he wanted to do it again—since she’d walked away, to the point he’d actually pulled out the market analyses on the cottage to distract himself.
Knowing it was a mistake to get involved with her and being able to stop himself were two different things, and he was failing miserably at the latter. While part of his brain was aware that a widow putting down roots in Blackberry Bay and her little girl had no place in his life, that logical voice was easy to ignore, like a boring teacher lecturing in a classroom.
Then she stepped out onto her deck and his breath caught in his throat. Her dark blond hair was gathered into a messy knot on top of her head, showing off her neck, and she was laughing at something. Probably something Sophie said, since her daughter was right behind her.
He could keep the cottage, that irresponsible voice in his head said. A lot of people in the Maguire circle had summer homes they visited on weekends, or occasionally even for an entire week. He didn’t have to let it go.
Meredith turned, her gaze locking with his. He hadn’t moved or made a noise that would have gotten her attention, so she was looking for him. He smiled and, after a few seconds, she smiled back. But Sophie was tugging at her hand, trying to drag her to the flower garden they were in the process of expanding, and the eye contact was lost.
She didn’t wave him over and Sophie hadn’t seen him, so he stayed where he was and enjoyed the happy sounds of them playing in the garden. Oscar played around them, occasionally trying to roll in the loose dirt, and Elinor even appeared from wherever she’d been to sit on the deck rail and watch.
After twenty minutes or so, Meredith stood and brushed dirt off her navy shorts. He watched her say something to Sophie, and then the little girl ran across the yard, straight toward him.
“Cam!” She ran up the steps and stopped in front of him. Oscar stopped short at the bottom of the steps when Elinor jumped off the rail to sit at the top. She couldn’t do anything about the people, but she didn’t like the dog on her deck.
“Hey, Sophie. How’s the gardening going?”
“Oscar peed on the daisies.”
He chuckled. “At least he didn’t eat them, I guess.”
“Ew. Mommy wants to know when we’re going to help you clean your house up.”
“Since you’re helping me, whenever is best for you. I do most of my work in the morning, so maybe in the afternoons? But I can work around her schedule.”
“Okay, hold on.” She took off running again before he could stop her, and he watched her tell Meredith what he’d said—or probably some approximation of it, complete with hands waving and bouncing on her toes.
Then she raced back. “Mommy said we’ll come over tomorrow after lunch.”
“Sounds good. Tell your mommy I said thank you.”
“Okay. We’re going to the
market after we wash up. Do you want to go?”
He did need a couple of things and a trip to the store would be a lot more fun if he went with them, but he recognized using Sophie as a messenger was a pretty strong indicator Meredith wanted a little space from him today. Whether she was having second thoughts about kissing him or she was struggling with wanting to kiss him, she was staying in her own yard today. If he told Sophie he wanted to go, he knew Meredith would eventually be forced to give in, and he’d already made that mistake once.
“I have stuff to do so I can’t go today,” he said, “but I hope you have fun.”
He smiled as he watched her run back to her mother again. As far as he could tell, Sophie had two speeds—sitting still with a book or on the run—and he wished he could muster a fraction of her energy.
Maybe he would if he slept at night instead of tossing and turning, thinking about kissing his neighbor.
As if she somehow sensed he was thinking about her, Meredith paused on her way inside and looked at him. She smiled again, this one a little more genuine, and then waved before disappearing from view.
At least that was something. And she’d be in his house tomorrow, helping him with Carolina’s many boxes. As long as he stayed out of her way and respected the distance she’d put between them, they’d be okay.
Whether she’d work her away around to kissing him again, he didn’t know. But he certainly hoped so.
Chapter Twelve
“What do you think this is?”
Meredith looked up from the table, where she was sorting boxes of papers, to see Cam holding up a small wooden drying rack. He kept folding it and unfolding it so it looked as if he was playing the skeleton of an accordion.
“It’s for drying things. You set it up and then drape things over the wooden dowels to air-dry.”
“Oh. Do you want it?”
“No, and stop trying to deal with all the stuff in this house by moving it into my house.” She pointed at him. “Yes, I’m onto you. Put that in the donation pile and get back to work.”
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