by Adaeze Okoli
My mother sighed, “You know what Damon, don’t worry about gas for us. I don’t want you to feel like the money you’re giving towards Peter’s education is a waste. I will figure it out.”
I remember watching mom get up from the couch. Before mom was in and out of the hospital, he couldn’t resist my mom. He watched my mom’s hips sway away. Watching how he’d look at my mom always creeped me out. But it was her looks and her charm that always got dad to cave in.
“Linda, he called out to my mom.”
She turned around, “Yes, Damon?”
Dad looked down at his feet and then reached into his wallet.
“Will fifty dollars be enough gas for now? I can get you some more money for gas if all goes well by Friday.”
Mom turned around with a slight smile on her face.
“Thank you, baby.”
Dad had his arms reached out for mom, as she walked in his direction. He grabbed mom by the hip and pulled her down onto the couch. They began to kiss. I backed away, went back into my room, and fell asleep. What happened to this love he had for mom? Sure, they had their issues, but they would always be resolved. Mom could make him calm down in seconds, her beauty always puts a spell on him. The love he had for her was undeniable. Anyone who couldn’t see that was blind or in denial. The way he used to look at mom was unmatched by far. I had never seen a man give a woman the look my father gave my mom. His look towards her was pure.
What happened to the love when she got into the hospital? Was he angry because she could no longer be there to calm him down? Was he mad that he was losing his life partner, his guardian angel? Nothing seemed right.No matter what excuse popped into my mind. No excuse was good enough for dad to abandoned in mom. There was no explanation for it. The question stayed persistent in my mind. What happened to the love he used to have for mom? And why didn’t he save any of that love for me?
I continued to look out the window, as we drove in silence. We passed the Starbucks mom and I use to always stop at in the morning. I smiled looking at the building. Trinity looked over at me again and began to smile. I could tell she was smiling because she knew, whatever I was thinking about had brought me joy for a split second.
When arriving at her gigantic house, she put a finger over my lips. Signaling for me to be quiet. Trinity spoke to me in a hushed tone.
“We’ll have to be extra quiet when going up the stair. As you already know, you’re not supposed to be here in the house. My dad would kill me. So please, walk as quiet as you can. Noises echo in our house.”
Most likely that’s the real reason why Trinity came down without any shoes on.
“My dad is a light sleeper, it’s amazing he didn’t hear me leaving the house. I’ve never snuck out before, so my heart was pounding way above the average rate. I thought my heart was beating so loud that he’d hear it.”
We both laughed for a bit. Before I got out of her car, I took off my shoes and left them in her truck. I wouldn’t want her father to wake up, and see a pair of unidentified male shoes, at his front door. That’s a big no-no, a sure way for me to get killed. And of course, it’s not like we could blame the shoes on being Trey’s. I’m sure his father is aware of his son’s wardrobe since he’s the one buying the clothes of course. Mr. King of all people knows his son would never be caught wearing my off-brand Payless shoes. Especially the ones that are modeled after Adidas high-tops.
“Nice call,” Trinity said in response to me leaving my shoes in her car.
We walked across the cold brick walkway and entered her front door. When we opened the door, her house made a beeping noise, to alert that people were coming through her front door. Trinity freaked out a bit and looked around. No one came rushing down the stairs. I can see what she meant about her home not always feeling like home. Her floor was always freezing, that became apparent to me as my feet touched the marble. Her stairs had a beautiful dark wood finish, but once again everything felt cold. At least at my house, we have the luxury of carpet hit our feet. The carpet wasn’t the best, but nonetheless, we still had carpet. With much caution, we tiptoed up the stairs to her room.
Trinity’s room, of course, was huge, no surprise there. Her room was three of my rooms put together. Trinity’s room was so big that her queen-sized bed looked small from a distance. It had a desk for her to do school work at, my bed was my desk. Her room had a huge rug in the center, and in the far-left corner, there was a lounging couch. Her bed was facing the direction of her flat screen T.V. , Trinity was living a life of luxury. I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around the fact that she had her own T.V in her room. I’d imagine that meant everyone in this household had a T.V in their private bedrooms. What blew my mind is that Trey had his own bedroom. If I had a sibling, I already know we’d have to share rooms. I walked around some more, taking in Trinity’s room, which was more like a one bedroom house. Trinity had a small balcony area in her room, as well as a ceiling fan. How on earth does one make so much money to get into a house like this?
I didn’t want Trinity getting creeped out with the way I was looking around her room. To her, I’m sure I looked like a robber, coming in to take all of her prized possessions. All I need next is to see that a maid comes inside her house. The ones that put mints on peoples pillows like you see in the movies. People who live in homes like this out in LA were seen as elites. You could get invited into any event I’m sure, for living the way the Kings do. No joke, to get a decent sized property here in Los Angeles can start at about $485,000. And that’s to get a one bedroom, two bedrooms, and two baths if you’re lucky. I could see Trinity smiling at me out the corner of my eye.
“You were in here earlier silly, don’t act surprised.” I shook my head a bit.
“Yeah, I know I was in here a few hours ago, but I didn’t take everything in. I was still dazed by how nice everyone was treating me. So, I saw your room, but I didn’t actually SEE it.”
Trinity gave a closed lip smile and shrugged what I said off.
“Eh, I guess. I can see how something like that could happen. I’ve lived like this my whole life, so nothing is too unusual for me. This is the way my life happens to be. This has always been my way of living. And while everyone else at our school doesn’t live like this. They’re all pretty well off and live nearby. I figured most people…” she trailed off.
Trinity’s eye widened, she covered her mouth with her hand.
“I am so, so, so sorry Peter. I didn’t realize how those words were coming out.”
I pushed my eyebrows together and gave her a quizzical look. I didn’t understand why she was apologizing. Trinity was speaking her truth.
“Don’t sweat it, I didn’t take offense to what you were saying. You were letting me know why you are the way you are with this house. I’m sure if I grew up like you, around the same people I’d be the exact same way.”
Trinity smiled, she looked relieved that I didn’t take her words the wrong way.
“If you’d like, you can sleep in my bed tonight. There’s more than enough room for the both of us. We can even sleep in opposite directions. Like you could sleep at the foot of the bed, and I’ll sleep at the top? I don’t know how you want to do this. I haven’t had a sleepover at my house, let alone a friend, who happens to be a guy in my room.”
Trinity looked over at me, she was waiting for my response.
“I guess that makes two of us then. I don’t know how this whole thing works either. I’ve never had a sleepover or anyone at my house, especially not a female other than my mom.”
Trinity couldn’t help or laugh at my response.
She rolled her eyes and said, “See we aren’t that different from each other, now are we?”
I gave Trinity a look, it wasn’t a smile, but it wasn’t an angry expression. I was too tired to make my muscles form a smile on my face.
“Yeah, I guess we aren’t.”
My legs ache from walking up and down the streets of Los Angeles. I was tired. Actual
ly, saying I was tired was an understatement. I felt fatigued and exhausted.
“Go ahead and start getting comfortable, I can tell you’re pretty sleepy,” Trinity told me.
“You know Trinity, I can sleep on the floor. I don’t have to sleep in the bed with you. I’m sure that’s me invading your privacy. Truth be told, you don’t have to act like I’m here. I’ll take a pillow, and that’ll be fine.”
Trinity pursed her lips together and scrunched up her nose a bit. She shook her head.
“Don’t be ridiculous, go ahead and lay down on the bed. Make yourself comfortable, the sheets and pillows were recently washed.”
I looked over at her, she doesn’t realizes that whether the sheets were washed or not. I still would have laid down on them and fallen asleep.
“Were the sheets washed by you, or did you have a maid come in and tidy up your room?” I asked her in a snooty booty accent, as she called it earlier.
Trinity giggled, and pinched her nose to give her voice more of a nasally effect.
“Well, of course, sir, the maid comes in once a week to tidy things up.” Trinity and I couldn’t hold our laughter in. Laughter erupted from us both. Each time we tried to catch our breath, we couldn’t. But then we heard a voice that caused us to immediately become quiet.
“Can you shut up Trinity, get off Tumblr, the content is never that funny. I’m trying to sleep you loud cow.”
Thank gosh it was Trey, apparently annoyed by the sound of happiness at 1am in the morning.
Trinity was offended by his words and shouted back, “I’ll have you know, Tumblr is always that funny. You’re lame and still stuck on Facebook with all the old people.” I heard Trey groan.
“You’re such a butt munch, go choke.”
I tried holding in more laughter, I loved the way they communicated with each other. The names he called Trinity were super original. I need to carry a notebook with me whenever I’m around him, in case I learn a new insult.
Trinity and I both looked over at each other. Trinity had both hands covering her mouth, to ensure no laughter would escape. Although her mouth was covered, you could tell from her eyes alone she was happy. We both shrugged our shoulders, brushing off the incident with Trey. Sleepiness was starting to strike me. If I continued to stand up, I’d pass out. I surrendered to my need of sleep and climbed into Trinity’s bed. Trinity started to walk from her side of the bed, pleased that I decided to sleep on the bed, and not on the floor. I watched her as she walked away and went into the bathroom.
As soon as she closed the bathroom door behind her, tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t stop the stream from flowing down, I tried to keep them from coming, but had no luck. Fortunately, I was a silent crier. I didn’t want anyone, especially Trinity to hear my sobbing. I sat upright on the bed, listening to the disturbing quiet of Trinity’s home. There were no noises. Their house didn’t creek, I didn’t hear people talking, I didn’t even hear any cars from the outside world. In my house, there was always some type of noise. When the heater turned on you’d hear it. When my mom and dad were up late talking, you’d hear that too. Oh, and my house was always making some creaking noise at night. My mom used to say that was the house settling. Which I never understood. The house was built in 1938, it’s 2016 now. That house had plenty of time to settle.
Even when mom would be gone at one of her hospital stays, you’d hear the T.V. in the living room that my dad left on. I guess he couldn’t stand the empty feeling. The empty feeling of mom not being in the house. I looked around Trinity’s room once more, how lonely must it get being alone in this big house. I wouldn’t know what to do if I was the only soul in this house. Being in Trinity’s room by myself made me completely aware of how alone I was.
This time I wasn’t crying for my mom who I without a doubt needed. Nor was I crying over my father. The tears were falling down my face because I was confused. I was confused and frustrated. How did all of this come to be? How is that in less than 48 hours, my life is changed forever. How is it possible, that only five years ago I was a child who was happy? A child with a mother and non-alcoholic father. Then within the next year I was a child with a cancer diagnosed mother. My father was sort of always cold with me, but at least he wasn’t drunk as well. How did such a drastic transition happen right before my eyes? I blinked, and boom it was as if my life had done a complete 360. As my mom became worse due to cancer and my father’s habits came back, the world continued to move on. I didn’t and still don’t understand how the world didn’t stop. Couldn’t the universe tell that there was one of their humans here on earth hurting? That too much was happening to one human being at once? Couldn’t people like my father, or even Josh at least see that I needed a break? I’m not asking for much only some time to breathe.
Finally, Trinity came out of the bathroom with her pajamas on and a wet towel in her hand. Her pajama bottom were plain black fuzzy shorts, and her top was a purple tank with a smiley face in the center. I watched her walk to my side of the bed. Her tight curly hair was messy and falling on her face. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. And of course, due to sneaking out to get me, she wasn’t wearing any shoes which showed her real height. She looked tiny, about 5’4 compared to my height which was 6’0 even. Trinity kneeled down by my side of the bed where I was sitting.
“You’re not supposed to sleep with makeup on overnight. It’ll mess up your skin.”
I looked down at her, and instead of immediately looking away, our eyes locked. My face began to start feeling hot. She looked away first, then cleared her throat and showed me the towel she was going to wash my face with. With much care, Trinity began washing off all the foundation I was wearing to cover my bruise. She rubbed in a circular motion, instead of what I usually do. When I wash my face, I use my hands and roughly rub down until I’ve gotten all the dirt off. I had forgotten I was wearing the foundation still that she had applied on me. Trinity’s smoldering brown eyes paid close attention to my face, taking in every detail. Her eyes were searching, at least that’s what it looked like to me. But searching for what? If she was looking for any sort of answers, I was as lost as she was. Perhaps she was trying to memorize every detail on my face. I never was able to figure out what she was doing.
Trinity stroked the side of my face. Her touch was so light and calming. Her hand’s touch reminded me of silk. Smooth and soft, without much effort gliding over whatever they decide to touch. I closed my eyes, her hands calmed me. What I appreciate the most at this moment is that not once did Trinity question my crying. She didn’t try to ask what was wrong, it was as though Trinity didn’t see my tears. And that’s exactly what I needed within that moment. To say I was grateful is an understatement. While I can’t find the perfect words to describe how appreciative I was. I knew Trinity understood my gratitude.
Trinity got up again and walked back into the bathroom to put the towel away. She came back into the room with her hair tied up in a scarf. She looked a little embarrassed to be coming out with her hair wrapped up. She was nervous and fidgeted with her hands.
“Um, this is what black girls usually wear to bed. It doesn’t matter if their rich or poor. Our headscarf keep our hair from breaking off at night. And keep our hairstyle in place.”
I couldn’t figure out why she was nervous to walk out with her headscarf on. I saw nothing but beauty. I loved how the scarf swept the hair out of her face. Showing off her natural beauty. Trinity could be bald, and I’d still think she was gorgeous. I assumed she was nervous about having her hair tied up. I came to this conclusion because all day before now she was confident. Now she has the satin wrap on, and she seemed so unsure of herself.
“I like it, you look great with the scarf on. I can finally see your face without hair covering it. You know? My mom sometimes would sleep with a scarf on her hair when she had gotten it done. She told me it kept her frizz down and preserved styles.”
Trinity’s eyes immediately looked up and met mine. My words
seemed to have given her that extra self-esteem boost she needed.
Trinity gasped.
“Peter, was your mom black?” Trinity asked me in a joking manner.
I laughed a bit, “Nah, but she had extraordinarily thick gorgeous hair that was waist length.”
Trinity smiled at me.
“Well I bet she was gorgeous,” she said as she got into bed.
“Trust me, she was. Beauty like hers wasn’t found often. Not matched with a quite as beautiful heart,” I said while looking into Trinity’s eyes.
Trinity’s beautiful brown chocolate skin hid the fact that she was blushing. Trinity scooted her body close to mine and wrapped her arms around me.
I became frozen, I was petrified, what was I supposed to do at this moment. How was she so bold right now? All that needs to happen is her father walks into the room. Then it’s bye-bye Peter. I wanted to get comfortable and fall into her arms. Her arms felt like an escape from the hell I’ve endured during this last 48 hours. Her arms felt like the vacation my heart and soul have been urging for. I couldn’t hold out, I gave into Trinity’s warm, loving arms. I relaxed my body and fell into a sleepy state of mind.
“For the love of Peter Jones, I want you to know that you are special to me. For the love of Peter Jones close your sleepy eyes, for the love of Peter Jones everything will be alright. For the love of Peter Jones, for the love of Peter Jones.”
In a low voice she sang these words to me. She ran her silk like fingers through my messy brown hair. I closed my eyes; her sweet and caring voice caressed my soul.
“For the love of Peter Jones.”
The soft tune she sang with my name in it made me feel as if I mattered. Her made up lullaby, made me feel like there was no one else in this messed up world. It was her and me. Trinity and me.
Who knew such little words could have such a significant impact on me.
“For the love of Peter Jones,” she whispered again.