by Cathy Gaitan
I try to summon my old hair back but end up with a blue wig instead. I curse and wish it back to wherever it came from. I try again and end up with that same dam wig. With a toss of my hand I send it to the corner of my room. I pull a pair of scissors from my drawer and take a whack at the offending tresses. When I’m done my hair is ragged and uneven. Sort of asymmetrical all over. Is that a thing? Well, it is now!
I summon a box of sapphire hair dye. It’s darker than the shade I originally had but close enough. I also summon a box of pink hair dye. I pick up the scissors and chop the section over my right ear. It looks almost like I had shaved it. Okay, not really. It’s a mess but whatever! It goes with the rest of me.
An hour later I look almost like myself. My hair is blue again but the edges of the ‘shaved’ pink section is purple. I’ve changed into a pair of jeans and a worn Addam’s Family sweatshirt.
When the knock sounds at my door I hope it’s Pinkerton but I’m not surprised to find it’s Carmony instead. He was angry when he left. I’ve got some relationship mending to do and its only day one. Not the greatest start I admit to myself. Tomorrow is bound to be better though. Right?
Carmony shoves a cat carrier at me. Lumina is howling like feral cat which she is not. She’s domesticated. Mostly. “Pink is some kind of angry with you,” Carmony announces. “He made me bring your hell raiser to you. I guess Caine was worried about Mary Mary’s safety. Caine and Abel will bring the other three later.”
When I open Lumina’s cage she jumps out indignantly and runs to my bedroom slamming the door behind her. Geez, even my cat gives me attitude. Have they ever had a Zombie cat on My Cat from Hell? Somehow, I don’t think so.
“No worries. Me and Pink are solid,” I tell her way more confidently than I feel. “We just had a little misunderstanding. That’s all.”
“The kind of misunderstanding where you don’t answer the door for him,” she asks with a smug grin.
“The kind where it’s not your business,” I tell her. “I’m surprised you had the nerve to come here yourself after the way you tried to keep me and Pink apart because of a stinking bet!”
Carmony shrugs her shoulders unconcerned. “You can drag a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Seriously! Why can’t people just say what they mean?
“It means all I did was provide you with crappy programming and an endless supply of snacks. You chose to stay.”
All true but still, “You loaded the brownies!” It’s sad that I even have to remind her.
She laughs. “I did. Didn’t I?” Wow, Carmony is not who I thought she was. “Are you still feeling the effects? Is that why,” she points at my hair and giggles.
How dare she? I run my hands through my hair self-consciously. “I just thought I’d update my do. You know, get edgy.”
“Does edgy mean crazy? Because if it does, I gotta say, you nailed it,” she’s laughing so hard now she’s wheezing.
“Why are you here,” I’m done discussing my hair.
“Oh, yeah, I wanted to see if you’d like to train with me and Julia.” She thinks I’ll train with her after all her insults? “We thought we could make it kind of a sisterhood get together.”
Damn her and her wily ways! “Fine,” I agree because I’m a sucker for sisterhood and she knows it. “But I’m not changing my clothes.” She needs to understand. I have standards. Sort of.
“Okay,” she raises her hands in front of her as though to indicate she had no interest in fighting about it. “But you might consider putting on a hat,” she calls over her shoulder as she walks out the door.
Why is she like this now? I flip the bird to an empty room then go to my room to retrieve a baseball cap. Lumina is spread out on her back in my bed. She opens one eye and watches me as I go about my business. I shut the door quietly behind me because I’m considerate of my cat. Not afraid. Really!
When I walk outside Carmony’s sitting beside Julia in the back of Boom Hildie’s car. The Witches are crammed in the front seat. Great. Just what I need.
Hildie honks as I approach. DaniElle sticks out her head and shouts, “Show us your wonky hair!”
I roll my eyes and ignore her. When I open the back door to slide in next to Julia I glare daggers at Carmony. “You’re on the bottom of my bad list.”
Carmony smiles. “Thank you. Bad is a thousand times better than good.”
Bibidee Bea leans over the seat to high-five her. “Finally! A Zombie that sees it my way.”
Boom Hildie peeks over Bea’s shoulder. “No joke. Take off the hat and show us that jagged edge cut Carmony told us about.”
I want to argue about the description but it’s actually spot on. I call it edgy but it’s also jagged as hell. It’s a trend, I decide. Started by me and soon to be sought after by the coolest nerds in all the land. I tear off the cap and thud down to reality as everyone gasps in horror.
“Why would you do that,” chokes Bea as I slide the cap quietly back into place.
“Did you finger paint your hair,” Australian Witch is staring at my cap like she’s trying to see through it.
“We just saw you yesterday! How did you master that disaster in less than eight hours?” Boom Hildie is stupefied.
I just shrug. “It’s a gift.”
“Is that why Pink ditched you,” asks Carmony.
“Already,” asks Bea with a sad shake of her head.
“We are still together,” I insist. We are! I just need to tell him that.
“Of course you are,” says Julia with a pat to my shoulder. “Once we fix your hair everything will be fine.”
“You honestly think Pink would dump me because of my hair?” I whip off the cap and to take a selfie ignoring the second round of gasps. I send the pic to Pink before I can change my mind. It doesn’t take long for him to respond.
Is that why you didn’t answer the door when I came by?
I go with it.
Yes
He immediately replies back.
Honestly, I’ve seen you look worse. I’ll see you tonight. Date night. Be ready by 7pm.
Okay, so I guess he wasn’t joking when he changed his mind about me arranging the date. I should be offended but all I feel is relieved. I mean, I knew he wouldn’t care about my hair but it’s nice to have confirmation. It’s also good to know he isn’t still angry with me.
“Stop worrying about my hair. Pink doesn’t care and neither do I,” I announce. This time I don’t bother putting the cap back on. They can stare all they want. It’s a one of a kind haircut with a one of a kind dye job.
“I’m starting to wonder about Pinkerton,” mutters Bibidee Bea to Boom Hildie.
“Maybe you should stop wondering about Pink, stop thinking about Titus and start concentrating on Oz,” I tell her before I can think better of it. “From what I can tell he’s the one who always has you on his mind. It would be nice if he wasn’t alone there.”
Everyone turns to stare at me. “Oz has a thing for Bea,” DaniElle asks, dumbfounded.
Hildie turns and glares at Bibidee Bea. “Say it ain’t so, Bea!” I really need to find out what the beef is between Oz and Hildie.
Witchy Bea isn’t shocked or embarrassed. “Can I help it if the Warlock has good taste? I’m a catch,” she turns and gives me a wink. “I’m seasoned with all a Witch’s best spices. A little good, a pinch of bad and a whole lot of wicked. How could anyone with even an ounce of magic in their bones not find that attractive?”
“Titus doesn’t,” Julia replies.
I shake my head. “Neither does Pinkerton.”
She sniffs and raises her chin. “I’m pretty sure the dead is messing with their natural wiring.”
“Or they could, maybe, not be interested,” clarifies Julia. “At all.”
“Is that why you discouraged my interest in Oz? Because you want him,” Carmony pipes in.
“No!” This time Bibidee Bea’s objection is emphatic
. Hmm, maybe a little too emphatic. I may need to keep an eye on this. I know you’re wondering why I care. It’s because I consider Oz a close frenemy. I can’t decide if I love to hate him or hate to love him. Whatever. “I’m not interested in Oz. He’s not my type.” Meaning he’s not Titus. I’m beginning to think Titus the twisted is more of a wish than a want. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two.
“Are we training or what,” I throw Bibidee Bea a lifeline. I’m generous like that. “I’ve got a date with Pink after and I need to have enough time to get ready.”
Julia looks at me. “Where are you going? What are you doing?”
I smile like it’s a secret when the truth is I don’t know. “It’s a surprise.” Even to me.
“Okay. Let’s get this show on the road,” Boom Hildie says starting the car and sending a vibration through the entire car. My teeth actually rattle from the force. “We can’t let Pink miss his date with disaster.” Sometimes I really wonder why I’m friends with these people.
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Pinkerton Floyd
It’s so stupid but I’m actually nervous. I put a lot of thought into tonight. What Mercy would want. I’m close to a hundred percent certain this is what her dream date would be. It’s got her name written all over it. I made sure of it.
I adjust the pink glitter bow on the top of the gift box I had specially wrapped for her. The thing is shedding glitter all over the place. She’s going to love it. At least I hope she will. Scratch that. I know she will!!
This date ended up being more complicated than I originally thought. She has so many facets to her personality. As I was planning this out I realized I couldn’t just focus on one part and forget the others. She’s a glittered, bedazzled mess of a ninja nerd.
Titus said mercy was having a ‘girl’s day’. It was supposed to just be for training. I ‘m hoping it didn’t spill into drinking. I need her sober not wasted.
Lumina comes over and sits beside me rubbing her face against the bow on Mercy’s gift and coming away with a glitter sprinkled face. It looks good with her black and pink fur. I lean over and sniff her. Yep, still wearing the cotton candy scent I gave Mercy for her. It’s her signature scent and she wears it like a confectionary queen.
“Sorry, Lumi. That one’s for Mercy.” Her ears go back and her tails swishes back and forth in irritation. I reach into my front jean pocket and pull out a small box of marshmallow peeps. “But this one is all for you.”
Her mismatched silver and gold eyes twinkle with excitement. I open the package and does not waste time getting down to business. What can I say? That Zombie cat likes sweets as almost as much as Mercy which is saying a lot because I’m pretty sure Mercy’s blood is made up of simple syrup.
My phone lights up and I check it to see a text message from Mercy.
It’s official! I’m a badass!! And you’re my lucky someone
She is so weird. I decide to give her something to think about.
We’ll see how lucky I am tonight.
I attach a winking emoji and press send. She doesn’t reply to my text. I guess it worked. She’s thinking.
I hear the loud rumble of Boom Hildie’s car outside before the headlight beams pierce Mercy’s living room window. I immediately stand bumping into the dangling gold glittered stars I suspended from Mercy’s ceiling. Some are big. Some are small. I hung them at different lengths with strings of twinkle lights behind them.
Now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s too much. I kind of feel like a giant dork. I sit back down and pretend like this is no big deal.
Mercy walks in and I smile my coolest smile. Too late I remember my coolest smile is no smile. Luckily for me Mercy is too distracted by the stars slapping her in the face to notice anything I’m doing. Yep, overdone. Or maybe not I decide when I get a good look at her face. She’s grinning from ear to ear her arms spread wide as she walks through her field of stars. The glitter is raining down like stardust coating her hair, face and body. Okay, so over done in a good way. A very good way I decide when Mercy launches herself into my lap. Just like that she’s kissing me and I’m no longer a giant dork. I’m the freaking king of the galaxy. I don’t even mind the bits of glitter on her lips which are now on mine. She tastes like cherry chocolates. That is now my favorite flavor on the planet I decide on the spot. Damn, if I knew that I a bunch of glitter covered cardboard stars would get this kind of reaction I would have done this ages ago.
I toss her gift on the floor and lay her back against the cushions. Lumina howls in fury as she extricates herself from behind us.
“Was that for me,” Mercy asks breathlessly staring the direction of the abandoned gift with a distracted gaze.
“Yes, but later,” I murmur, turning her face back toward mine for another kiss. “Much later.” Thankfully she wraps her palms around my neck and goes with it. It’s funny. I never saw myself as a date night kind of guy. I’ve gotta admit though, I could get used to this.
Just as things are getting interesting Mercy pulls away and says, “But really, what’s in the box?”
I groan in frustration and bury my face in the couch cushion. What the hell was I thinking with these plans? I should have stretched things out. Tonight should have been only about seeing stars.
I pull us both up into a sitting position and tell myself this is for the best. I made these plans for a reason. Even if I don’t remember what it is right now. “You’d really rather open your present right now?”
“Yes!” She dives off the couch and onto the floor crawling around until she finds the box. I take the punch to the ego like the macho Zombie male I am. Maybe I sulk a little but it’s dark and she’s too busing ripping through paper she doesn’t need to rip to notice me. All she had to do was lift off the top but this is Mercy. She’s messy by nature.
By the time she manages to open the gift she’s sprinkled with pink and gold glitter. She yanks out the ninja outfit. It’s corny, I know, but the bedazzled sash was a must have for her. Her shriek of excitement when she locates the second part of her gift tells me I nailed this.
“Are you kidding me?! Is this for real,” she asks me holding up the gift certificate, she’s so pumped up her eyes are practically spinning.
“No joke. It’s real. Grandma Roses mentioned it once to me. I called her to get the location. Crouching Tigers Hidden Zombies is a real training school for ninjas. It’s a few hours south of here. “
It cost me a favor but it’s worth it seeing the joy on Mercy’s face right now. Don’t tell anyone but I think I might be going soft. I don’t give away favors for anyone. Well, anyone but her I guess.
“I can’t believe this,” she’s hugging the gift certificate to her chest like it’s precious. “This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me. Like ever. “
She looks like she’s about to cry. She crawls over to me, gets up on her knees and wraps her arms around me. “You went to Grandma Roses. I think you must like me,” she grins.
I yank on the ragged pink section of her hair. “Yeah? What gave it away?” I’m going to have to get her to explain what happened to her hair. Last night this part was shaved closer to her hair. The fact that she went to the effort to restore the pink section does crazy things to my heart. I can’t decide if it’s good or bad. That’s a lie. It’s good in the most painful, scary way.
“You went to Grandma Roses. You wouldn’t do that for yourself but you did it for me,” she sniffs. Now she is crying. Is it wrong that I like it? So what!
I brush the tears away with my thumb. “You’re my someone,” I remind her gruffly. “If I’m not willing to get into the hole for your what the hell is the point of this whole thing anyway?”
“When can I go for the training,” she asks me out of the blue.
I shrug. “I had planned on taking you to a nice restaurant. Then we would go check out the ninja school,” I reply reluctantly.
“Wow! You gave this some thought,” she says, impressed. “I almost feel bad about ruining your plans.” She releases me and stands up. Her face is obscured by those damn stars. I can’t see her expression.
“What part don’t you like,” I ask hesitantly. Did I muck this up after all?
“Oh, I love all of it,” she assures me. “But I think we should leave the ninja training for another day and order in instead of going out.” She leans down so I can see her face clearly. “Do you feel lucky, Pink?”
Holy, hell! I hope she’s asking what I think she’s asking. “I’m pretty sure that depends on you.”
She grins. “Well, I’m just gonna follow these stars and see where they lead me,” she turns and walks down the hall to her bedroom. I’m not far behind her. I don’t think I’ll ever look at the stars the same way again.
Chapter Fifteen
Pinkerton Floyd is making me look bad.
I think Julia’s expecting some romance.
Does anyone know where I can find some?
- from Titus Remington’s twisted Twitter feed
Julia Caesar
Good-bye to You
It’s been over a week since Mercy and Pink sealed the deal with their relationship. He makes her hot chocolate every morning. With extra marshmallows. He goes with her to her Ninja classes. He listens patiently to her geek babble. Endless babble. He brings her cupcakes just because.
When I mentioned all this to Titus he snorted and said, “I know. Who knew Pink had so much sap buried under that Mohawk?”
I changed my perfume and he said ‘less is more’. I wore my hair down and he suggested I put it back the way it was so it wouldn’t interfere with training.
When I told him every woman likes romance he grinned and said, “If you want to pet me I won’t say no.” It’s official. This relationship has hit the skids.
I don’t expect hot chocolate every morning but once and awhile would be nice. We don’t need to do everything together but it would be nice if he took an interest in me beyond how well I shoot, fight or strategize. The only time he seems to even remember I’m a woman is when he wants some ‘petting’.